Legal Stuff 'n' such Mystery Science Theatre 3000 & related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. all other characters and likenesses are owned by their respectable owners. Please don't sue me! I'm poorer than dirt! Ken's Notes: Well, lookie here. It's the final part to the Belmont Anime Geek Table Squad! At least, until I decide to do the ones with us in RPGs. With that out of the way, here we gooo! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Dark Place Dungeon) *Dan is tied to a rack and Legato is gradually tightening it.* Dan: I-I'm sorry! I couldn't find the alternate version of "Chibiusa's Seventh Birthday"! When I tried to find it, it was just... GONE! Legato: Unacceptable. My master is right! You humans don't deserve to live! Dan: You're human! Legato: Oh yeah... you have a good point. *unties Dan* Just keep looking. You know what will happen if you fail! Dan: Yeah! Yeah! You'll make me rip out my own heart. Legato: Yer darn tootin'. Now, go! *Dan leaves* Until then, this fanfic will have to do. *grin* *opening song* In the not to distant future, (Who cares just when!) A guy kidnaps some characters And decides just then... (Zoinks!) Legato: I'll send 'em cruddy fanfics. The worst that I can find. (DSF Slime, Miko, Dan, Nakoruru & Rezo:Lalala!) Then we'll see how long They keep their lil' minds (Neko, Dubimon, Team Rocket: Lalala!) Now remember, even Zelgadis can't control when the stories come. He's just gonna take another 'zac (... and maybe anot'r Tum!) MST'er ROLL CALL! Akurei!: (Suffer, Bill Gates!) Tenshi!: (You are forgiven!) Kristina X!: (Blaster Beeeam!) Kage Y!: (Encyclopedia!) Aaash!: (Finish him, Pikachu!) If you're asking how they eat 'n' breathe And, uh, other types of stuff, Calm yourself, put down that bottle 'o' Jolt, And kick back in the buff (eep!), For MST Ripoff 2K! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- (SOAP Control Room) *All are present and are gathered around Clescyther and Jigglymonlee.* Ken-Chan X: *sees you* Oh, hi! We are about to find out why Legato told us not to splash these two... things, with water! Why, you ask? Because we're inquisitive little bastards and there isn't much to do on this satellite! OKAY! COMMENCE THE SPLASHING! *Sasami and Key come in with two buckets of hot water and splash the two creatures. They turn into Ryoko and Ayeka.* Ryoko: *sees Ken* TENCHI! *Glomps onto his neck.* Ayeka: You leave Tenchi alone! *Glomps onto Ken's right leg* Ken-Chan X: AIYEE! Not the face! NOT THE FACE! Sasami: That's not Tenchi, Ryoko! That's Ken-Chan X! Ryoko & Ayeka: Oh. *they release Ken* Ryoko: *To Ayeka* Well, Ayeka, I STILL say it's your fault we got into this mess! Ayeka: ME?! YOU'RE the one who practically gave up! If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have these Jusenkyo Spring Curses! *Ryoko and Ayeka begin to fight and squabble* Link: *sweatdrop* Erm... Time for a commercial! *pushes grey button* Announcer: New! From the makers of Furby! It's... RYO'OHKI! The first interactive toy that turns into a gigantic meowing spaceship! Also coming from the makers of Furby... Kuroneko-sama! The interactive cat doll that appears FOR NO GOOD REASON! *Kuroneko-sama Doll appears* Kuroneko-sama Doll: Myaww! Announcer: SWEET MOTHER OF GHANDHI! Where did THAT come from!? *Ahem* Look for them in a store near you! Zelgadis: During the commercial, Ryoko and Ayeka accidently smashed Ken-Chan X into a wall... Ken-Chan X: *still embedded in wall* Don't... mind me!... really! Zelgadis: So they were splashed with cold water and put back into their pokeballs. Also, The dark place guys... (Dark Place) Nakoruru, Jesse, Miko and Neko: AND GIRLS! (SOAP) Zelgadis: ...called! (Dark Place) Legato: Indeed. Did I not warn you not to do that? I don't always lie to you. Anyway, Your fanfic today is... THE LAST PART TO THE BELMONT ANIME GEEK TABLE SQUAD! BWAHAHAHAHAAA! *ahem* Enjoy, or don't. I don't really care. Push the button, Nakoruru! Nakoruru: Consider it pushed! *lights & klaxons* Sasami: Oh, poopies! WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN! *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically Door 5: Usagi, Mihoshi & C-ko sit on a couch watching "Mighty Joe Young". You barely make it out without drowning in the resulting tears. Door 4: It's Lucille from Samurai Pizza Cats! You woke her up!! You avoid the Macross-style onslaught of missiles. Door 3: It's a drawbridge. It slowly opens, the rusty squeak slowly driving you insane. Door 2: It's a Gamemboy Color with Kirby Tilt 'n' Tumble in it! You play it for a while, cursing the crappy method of control before moving on. Door 1: It's a wall! One of Lucille's stray missiles blasts an opening. Seated left to right: Ash, Kristina X, Kage Y Akurei and Tenshi.* Kristina X: YAAY! It's the last part! Ash: What was wrong with the other two parts? Akurei: Ken wrote them. Ash: oh. >The Belmont Anime Geek Table Squad vs Evangelion, Macross and Gundam Kage Y: Or "How the Belmont Anime Geek Table Squad Got Toastied"! >By Ken Scott > >(Note: This is actually the SECOND writing of this fanfic. Someone >stole the original disk with it on it. Ash: *Nipple Man* THOSE MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS! > Oh yeah. All characters in this fic have licence to act out of character! >They have no choice! Thete has control over them!) Ash: Thete?! NOOOO! Kage Y: *Nipple Man* THAT MAGNIFICENT BASTARD! >Part 1: I challenge you! (smack) > >"Are they done fighting yet?" whined Morgan. Tenshi: Since_WHEN_does Morgan whine?! Akurei: Since Ken wrote this fic! "Yes. They're STILL at it. Ash: Ooh! How kink- *WHAM!* > Be patient" Ky replied, keeping her mind on the RPG she was playing on her >portable tv and Playstation. Kristina X: Hmmm... I'll have to try that sometime! >She was refering to the battle that was happening in the field below. >Devin, in his Dirty Pair armor Ash: DIRTY PAIR ARMOR?! Eew! Kage Y: At least it isn't B-ko's armor! Kristina X: Yeah! BRR! B-ko's dad... > and Tim in his Veritech, were still fighting. Their fight consisted of them >firing bullets and missiles at each other for the first two hours. Ash: And Tim MISSED?! I weep for future veritech fighters... Kage Y: Maybe Devin was using cheat codes. Now, >completely out of ammo, they were taking turns going to seperate sides of >the field and then richocheting off each other. Ash: a la the Mew versus Mewtwo fight... >"I wish they'd hurry up. I have to go to the restroom." replied Ken, Akurei: Find a bush! Tenshi: Don't talk to the screen! It's a sign of weakness! >looking up from his Gameboy, "They've GOT to get tired SOME time!" Kage Y: Saay... >The Burrows brothers, John and Clayton, had left for other destinations. >They were replaced by John McRay. John was occupying his time by laughing at >the fight and generally annoying everyone. Ash: That annoying little welp! >Just then, on the battlefield, Devin stole Tim's hat. BIG mistake. > >"Arrrr! You_go_SQUISH NOW!!!!" bellowed Tim. Akurei: *announcer* We've secretly replaced Ky's Tim with a pirate of the same name! Let's see if she notices! >Tim angrily knocked Devin out of the air and stepped on him. It was over. All: YAAY! DEVIN'S DEAD! *Devin appears behind them with a mallet the size of a van.* Uhhh... never mind! Devin: better... *disappears* >Tim was just about to celebrate when two Veritechs and the SDF-1, three Gundams, >and two Evas appeared out of nowhere. They landed in front of the awe-struck >group. > >"Return that Veritech that you stole," Isamu's voice rang out, " Or THIS will >happen to you!" With that, Rick Hunter aimed a missile at John and blew him up! All: YAAY! >The blast also blew up the tv Ky was using. All: D'OH! >"We'll take you up on your challenge!" shouted a VERY irrate Ky, " But we must let >Tim go reload first! And THEN we'll get into... OUR MECHA!!" Akurei: How stupid! Tenshi: How idiotic! Kage Y: How cliche! Kristina X: HOW COOL! >"Thanks, Ky!" Tim whispered to Ky before flying off. > >"We're now going to get out suits!" said Ky, grabbing Ken and Morgan and diving >into a bush. "Later!" Kage Y: Saay! How kinky! *Kage dodges mallets, torn up chairs and steel-toed boots to the groin* >An hour later, the small group of Mecha pilots were still waiting for the return of the BAGTS. Ash: Doesn't Ken realize how wrong that looks? Tenshi: Hey, at least it isn't as bad as Ghost In The Shell! Ash: Why?... OOh! *Giggle* >"What's taking them so danged long?" inquired Amuro Rey. Ash: Who's that? Akurei: The main character from the original! I thought everyone knew that! Ash: Oh. >"Yeah!" piped in Heero Guuy, "Surely it doesn't take them THAT long to get their >Mecha!" > >"Here we are!" shouted Ky as a puff of smoke appeared. As it dissipated, it revealed the three figures in their mechanized suits! Tenshi: I wasn't aware they had access to cheesy special effects... >Ky was in the EVA 01 and was in a kneeling position; Ken was in the Megazord doing the Sailor Moon pose; All: MEGAZORD?! SAILOR MOON POSE??!! EEEEVIIIL! > and Morgan was in the Samurai Pizza Cats battle armour, busting da peace sign! > >"We're ready for ya!" Shouted Ken and Ky in unison. Tenshi: ... Nor the cheesy dialogue! >"This thing itches, Ky," whined Morgan. > >"Hush, you!" hissed Ky. > >Part 2: The Battle for Somethingorother Kage Y: You ever notice that Ken puts parts into his fanfics, even though it's technically just one fanfic? All: Yes. >The first battle was between Ky and the other two EVAS. Ky had managed to "borrow" >the EVA 01 when Shinji was having another one of his angst-filled episodes. Kage Y: *Shinji* I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away! I... > Sadly, the left arm had been amputated in the rush to escape. Tenshi: I can see where this is going... Akurei: Me too, sis. Me too. >The battle started. Ky immediately had the upper hand. The battle was going well until the power ran out of the EVA 01. Ash: Nuts. > Ky was at the mercy of Asuka and Rei! Ash: How kinky! *WHAM!* > They pounded on the EVA until Ky became incredibly ticked off. All the sudden, Ky became liquid inside the plug and the amputated arm grew back organic! Tenshi: See? I told you! > The EVA went nuts and started eating Asuka's EVA like a thanksgiving turkey! > >"Cool," thought Rei, "If only she wasn't trying to kill us..." > >The carnage continued as the EVA 01 put its foot through Rei's EVA. Then she >concetrated on leveling some builings with the ass of Asuka's EVA. Ash: What's "concetrating" Kage Y: Screw that! What the hell are "Builings"?! > In short time, The EVAS were reduced to scraps. Ky had beaten them! Ky then became solid again "Whoa!" she breathed. "But it STILL doesn't hold a candle to the Evil eight-sided dice of Doom!" Kage Y: True dat! Ash: I don't remember encountering an eight-sided dice in Doom... >Next up, it was Ken and Morgan against the three Gundams. Morgan was up on the >hill selling ice cream to the people who had gathered to watch. > >"Ice-ah cream! nice and-ah tasty Ice-ah cream!" shouted Morgan,"We've-ah gotta >tutti fruitti, strawberry, rasberry, and... what was the other berry?" > >"Boysenberry?" asked a man who sounded suspiciously like Tim Curry. > >"No, no! It's quite safe! Ice-ah cream!..." Akurei: Ladies and gentlemen... the Duckman Ice Cream scetch... sadly. >"MORGAN! Get Down here and help me!" yelled Ken. Looking bashful, Morgan came >down onto the battlefield. > >"Sorry," Morgan apologized as he stepped back into the Samurai Pizza Cats armor, >"I was just trying yo get some money out of all this." Kage Y: Further proof that PIMPIN' AIN'T EASY! *WHAM!* >They then started their battle. Ken, still in the Megazord, fought off a flurry >of punches, missiles and energy blade blows while Morgan returned fire. Akurei: That's a stupid strategy! >Just then, a stray missle struck Ken and damaged the Megazord. Akurei: See? >"KEN! NOOOOOO!" shouted Morgan as he ran over to the smoking reckage. > >"A-Avenge me!" Wheezed Ken as he took out the Pokeball that contained the >Happosai Kodama and handed it to Morgan, "For the C-colony and oppressed bugs >everywhere!" Then he died. All: Ohmigod! They killed Kenny! Kage Y & Ash: *Nipple Man* YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS! >"NOOOO! YOU BASTARDS!" Shouted Morgan, taking out his handy battery-powered >blender, "Dieeee!" Morgan screamed as he poured in a box of rifle bullets and the >Pokeball, set it to liquify and aimed it at the Gundams. > >The bullets hit the Gundams, some Totoros, Kiki, A bear riding a tricycle, all the Digidestined children, Kage Y: KARI?! NOOOOO! Akurei: What about Ken?! > the Mario Brothers., and a hairy Italian guy named Guido. Morgan had won! > >"I said YEAH! V for Victory Suckas!" Shouted Morgan as the Happosai Kodama ran >by with Kiki's and all the female Digidestined's panties. > >Finally, it was Tim's turn to fight the Veritechs and the SDF-1! He faired >pretty well. He managed to destroy Rick Hunter's Veritech without breaking a sweat. He aimed at Isamu's Veritech and... Click! Clickclickclick! He was out of ammo! Kage Y: That's bound to suck... "Eheh! Mercy?" Tim said nervously as the Veritech aimed all it's guns at him. Kage Y: Eheh! Not a chance? >Just then, all of the SDF-1, which had been laying down some cover fire, aimed all of its guns at Isamu and blew the veritech to smithereens! All: Whoa! > Tim was surprised. He decided to escape before it turned it's guns on him... Suddenly, Akurei: Out of nowhere! Tenshi: Without warning! Kristina X: Absolutely NOTHING happened! > a familiar voice boomed over the loudspeaker. > >"Hiya, Tim!" said Ky's voice. > >"What are you doing in there?! How'd you get control of it?" > >"Well," said Morgan's voice, "We snuck in and told them that Minimei was a bimbo!" Ash: and that got them control HOW?! Kristina X: Just smile and nod. >Later, as they walked away from the damage-laiden battlefield, they seemed >slightly saddened. Akurei: Why? They won!! >"To bad Ken and Devin died!" Ky said morosely Akurei: Why would Ky be upset about that? > "I'm gonna miss that little nose thing they used to do." Ash: What little nose thing? Kage Y: Just listen... >"How'd that go again?" asked Tim. > >"I've got your n-nose." said a voice suddenly behind them. Ash: Nuts! They aren't dead! Kage Y: *Ken with a British accent* I'm not dead yet! Akurei: *Devin with a British accent* I'm getting better! >"I've g-got your face." said another voice. > >"*cough* I've got y-your whole head *cough*." Kristina X: Don't you think this is a bit excessive? >"I've got your soul!" > >"*cough* You win!" Ash: Hmmm... I'll have to use that sometime... >The group turned around to see ken and Devin's slightly mangled bodies coming >towards them. "How are you guys still alive?!" questioned Ky. > >"Well, when Tim stomped on me, I was in between the tread of the foot!" wheezed >Devin. > >"And I'm the author of this story, so I can do whatever I want!" replied Ken. *fourth wall crashes somewhere off in the distance* Tenshi: First time a fanfic has done THAT! >With that, they walked off into the distance to go home where they live normal, >in character lives. Or did they? Time will tell! Akurei: *Time as a little sister* I'm telling mom! >The End.(?) Kage Y: I hate unsure endings! *Doors open and they leave* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (SOAP Control Room) Kage Y: So, that was fun! Ash: Not really... *Red light starts flashing* Sasami: SM-Trax is calling! *pushes red button* Hello, Legato! Akurei: I'm about to tell you something that all losers have heard: Better luck next time! (Dark Place) Legato: Amusing. We shall see how well you fare next time! Push the button, Nakoruru! FWOOSH! ================================================================================== Season One: episode 1-13 Season Two: episode 14: SLAYERS IDIOTIC: A Parody Prequel episode 15: The Belmont Anime Geek Table Squad vs Evangelion, Macross and Gundam Quote o' the Day: >"A-Avenge me!" Wheezed Ken as he took out the Pokeball that contained the >Happosai Kodama and handed it to Morgan, "For the C-colony and oppressed bugs >everywhere!" Then he died. All: Ohmigod! They killed Kenny! Kage Y & Ash: *Nipple Man* YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS! Oh, just a gentle reminder that my E-mail address is ken_chanx@hotmail.com! Send Fanfics, Jokes, Quotes, notes of your undying love, Flames (uh... on second thought...)