Legal Stuff 'n' such Mystery Science Theatre 3000 & related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. all other characters and likenesses are owned by their respectable owners. Please don't sue me! I'm poorer than dirt! Ken's Notes: This is a seriously twisted (but humerous) take on the question, "Where do babies come from?"... except with the cast of Pokemon! And it's the last episode of the season! Very riveting stuff... not. With that out of the way, here we gooo! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Windfish Egg) Knives: Where_IS_he? *pushes the button to an intercom next to his chair* LEGATO! Is the fanfic ready yet? Legato: *Over intercom* Yes. Knives: Well, then! Bring it up! Legato: *over intercom* Well, I would, but... this cape/coffin thing you had me put into makes it kinda hard to move... If you can wait about an hour... Knives: *sigh* No. I'll come and get it... *opening song* In the not to distant future, (Who cares just when!) A guy kidnaps some characters And decides just then... (Zoinks!) Knives: I'll send 'em cruddy fanfics! The worst that I can find! (Dominique, Zazie, Hoppered, Midvalley, Leonov, Caine: Lalala!) Then we'll see how long They keep their lil' minds (E.G. Mine, Monev, Chapel, Rai-Dei, Legato, Gray: Lalala!) Now remember, even Zelgadis can't control when the stories come. He's just gonna take another 'zac (... and maybe anot'r Tum!) MST'er ROLL CALL! Ken-Chan X!: (Wasaaabi!) Cham Cham!: (Me like Spam!) Akurei!: (Suffer, Bill Gates!) Tenshi!: (You are forgiven!) Krillin!: (Houba!) Sakura!: (Haaadoken!) Happosai!: (Watta Haul!) Wolfwood!: (Oh, lordy!) Kage Y!: (Encyclopedia!) Zelgadis!: (... ...!) Birdy!: (I'M NOT CHIBI!!) Misty!: (GO, Starmie!) Kristina X!: (Blaster Beeeam!) Shadow!: (DON'T_call me_Squeaker!) Sailor Mercury!: (Stupid fanboy!) Key!: (30,000?!) Sasami!: (Ryo'ohki!) Aaash!: (Finish him, Pikachu!) Vaaash!: (Love and Peace!) Link!: (Oh, Woofnab!) If you're asking how they eat 'n' breathe And, uh, other types of stuff, Calm yourself, put down that bottle 'o' Jolt, And kick back in the buff (eep!), For MST Ripoff 2K! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (SOAP) *You come upon Lara and the other girls in Lara's room* Lara: Well, hello there! In case you didn't see the last part or COULDN'T, Ken got splashed with water from the Cursed Spring of the Drowned Legato, and, well, went a little nuts in the theatre. And then he got turned back to normal again. Akurei: And then he turned evil again thanks to Lara here, and he chased us all around the SOAP until he fell into the hot springs. Lara: *angrily* And it wouldn't have happened if someone had warned me sooner! Misty: Hey! YOU were the one who chucked that water balloon before we could say anything! Lara: *sigh* I guess that's true... Anyway, we girls are celebrating by having a sleepover. The guys wanted to join in but, well, they're guys! And most of us are under the age of consent... and others still think guys are "icky"! Sasami: HEY! I'm 200 years old! And I said SOME guys are icky! Lara: Yeah, whatever. Besides, the guys are off playing anime drinking games with Coca-Cola and betting on who will have to go to the bathroom first! Loudspeaker: All SOAP Inhabitants to the Control Room! His Lordship, Knives, is calling! Kristina X: "Lordship"?! *All run off* (SOAP Control Room) Ash: Are we all here? Krillin: No. Ken and Vash are still in the bathroom... Link: Can't... hold on... any longer! *Runs off* *A few minutes later, Vash, Ken-Chan X and Link return* Link: Okay, push the booton! Ken-Chan X: "Booton"?! Vash: I think it's supposed to be a sad attempt at french... Ken-Chan X: Sad indeed! *Pushes the button* (Windfish Egg) Knives: I see you are all surviving Ken's Jusenkyo transformation! Link: Yeah. Barely. Knives: Splendid! Anyway, you shall all be watching... (SOAP) Lara: Did you just say ALL of us? I don't think so! According to MY count, I have seen about nine, while the others have only seen EIGHT! It's in my contract! (Windfish Egg) Knives: Your contract?! Look. I'm evil, so I don't give a rat's pink, hairless- Legato: Actually, she's right, master. Look. *Holds up a piece of paper* This goes with the other inhabitants as well. Don't ask me why, though... Knives: *sigh* Very well. Push the purple button, Nakoruru! (SOAP) *Tsutomu From "Birdy the Mighty" appears* Sasami: But, you're a GUY! We need a girl! Tsutomu: No prob! Birdy, you can take over, now! *Tsutomu morphs into a tall, pink-haired woman. Others jump back in shock* Birdy: About time! What are we doing here? WHY are we here? (Windfish Egg) Knives: All answers in due time... Anyway, you shall be watching a Pokemon fanfic called "Where do babies come from 'The Pokémon way'" Shadow: Sounds like a lemon... Knives: IT IS NOT A LEMON!! *ahem* Push the button, Nakoruru! Nakoruru: Oy oy! (SOAP) *Lights and klaxons* Ash: Oh, poopies! WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN! *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically. Door 5: It's Kirby! He's got one of those large, plastic toy bats. You kick it out of his hands and move on. Door 4: A paper wall made of recycled sailor moon fanfics. You gladly tear it apart. Door 3: It's a drawbridge. It slowly opens, the rusty squeak slowly driving you insane. Door 2: It's a Gameboy Color with Dragon Warrior III. You promise yourself that you'll only play for a while (1/2 an hour), but end up playing for two hours before moving on. Door 1: A solid brick wall. You press the conveniently marked brick and it rises up to let you through. Seated left to right: First row: Ash, Misty, Cham Cham, Krillin, Key, Birdy, Sasami, Link, Vash and Wolfwood. Second row: Ken-Chan X, Sakura, Kristina X, Shadow, Akurei, Tenshi, Sailor Mercury, Happosai, Zelgadis and Kage Y.* Birdy: So, what exactly do I do? Sakura: Well, in layman's terms, we mock the fic. Birdy: So what do you need me for? >Where do babies come from "The Pokémon way" >By Joker Ken-Chan X: *Joker* Now Batman, I will teach you about the Birds and the Bees! Now, Grovel at my feet! Zelgadis: *Batman* Noooo! *sob* I surrender! >"Ash, my water broke, Ash: We're married? Misty: No, I broke my water bottle! Get me a new one! >your gonna have to get up..." Misty was now in her early twenties and her stomach >was bulging as she shook the sleeping Ash beside her. Cham Cham: oh! Ash, you a real go-getter, eh? >He opened his eyes quickly and pulled up his pants, not noticing that they were >Misty's panny hose in the confusion. All: Wah wah wah waaaaaah! >He then ran out of the room leaving Misty behind, he then ran down the stairs and >pushed the garage door on the side of the door, he opened the door violently and >then ran to the car, he leaped into the open window and peeled out of the gravel >drive way, after driving half way to the hospital, he soon relized that Misty >wasn't in the car. Link: Things haven't changed, eh, Ash? Ash: Feel the wraith of my disapproving gaze. >He did a wild sharp U-turn over the median and drove back to his house immidiatly, >he found her achingly holding her belly and trying to support herself as he quickly >got out of the car and helped her frail yet bulking belly into the car. Wolfwood: Gratuitous use of the word "belly"! *All shield their eyes* >He then sped off to the hospital, only to have to turn back because he was going >the wronge way. Birdy: God, this guy is an idiot! Are you sure this is the same Ash? >He and Misty had been trying for a baby for three years and it was finally on the >way, he was so excited. Vash: I would too, after waiting for a baby to come for THREE freakin' years! >When they got to the hospital parking lot he slammed on his brakes, Misty did >everything but fly out the window. Sailor Mercury: I'm surprised the city let you have a licence, Ash! >He opened his door and climbed out only to be dragged back by a seat belt that >Misty had put on him in the rush. Krillin: God, Ash! You've REALLY become incompetent over the years! Ash: Tell me about it! But at least, I was able to have sex! *ZAP!* >He untangled himself from it and then went around to Misty where he helped her out >of the car and into the hospital. Ash was hysterical as they got put into the list >and they had to give him a shot to settle down. Then they took Misty to a room in >back. Happosai: ... and did horrible things to her body! *WHAM!* Tenshi: Happosai no hentai! Akurei: Can you really blame him? Tenshi: YES! >Ash waited silently (and drooling from the lack of feeling below his body from the >shot) as Misty gave birth to a Pokéball, Key: Wouldn't that hurt? Shadow: *Ash* Misty, Did you have sex with a Pokemon? Sasami: *Misty* Yep! I did it with Voltorb, and Spearow, and Tentacruel... Misty & Ash: Stop. Now. >it was pink, it was a girl, the doctor had to clean the throw up off the ball All: "Throw up"?! Kage Y: Guess the fact that Misty just gave birth to an INANIMATE OBJECT, caused the doctor to spew... Birdy: What the hell? Kristina X: Take a lesson from the school of smile and nod. >and then he gave the Pokéball to Misty who held it in her caring arms and gently >rocked it. Misty: o/~ Rock-a-bye, Pokeball, in the tree top...o/~ >Then a drugged Ash walked in with about three differant security men dragging at >his ankles. >"How is my baby?" Ash asked happily. Ash: *drugged* o/~Having my baby...o/~ >"Why don't you come here and find out?" Sasami: *Misty* And Pikachu, and Geodude, and... >Misty held the baby to her chest as not to get it cold. Kage Y: Wouldn't want her balls to get cold... All: *snicker* >Ash came near and seen that it was pink, "I got me a baby girl." Then Misty threw >down the Pokéball and out popped a baby, Ash: Baby, go! Birdy: Baby, use slobber attack! Misty: Baby, counter with Stinky Diaper attack! >the doctor scooped her up and measured her, 9 inches and 5 pounds, blue eyes, and >light brown hair, it was a healthy girl. Kristina X: ... that just happened to be born inside a pokeball! Link: Were you doing something kinky with Misty, Ash? Ash: I don't think so... Sasami: ...and Horsea, and Octillery, and Ditto, and Togepi...*WHAM!* Ash & Misty: ENOUGH ALREADY! Ash and Misty hugged eachother at the new arrival of the new baby. Key: My, this "Eachother" must be a regular character in the Pokemon series or something... >"Maria," Misty said for the name, Ash only nodded his head and kissed her on the >fore head. All: FORE!! >Now you kids know where you came from, now quit buggin us grown ups... Ken-Chan X: IT'S A LIE! Link: WE know that! Ken-Chan X: Hey! It's over! *All leave* --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Birdy: Well, that was seriously twisted! I guess I'll go now! Bye! *portal opens* God, I hope we never have to do this again, Tsutomu! Tsutomu: *from inside Birdy's body* Hey! It's not as if I exactly had a choice ya know! Birdy: Yeah. Whatever. *Enters portal and it closes behind her. Ken-Chan X: Well, NOW thanks to the author of that fic, all those stupid little kids who like Pokemon as if it were God are gonna think THEY came from Pokeballs too... Boy are they gonna be disappointed... Wolfwood: Well, at least we can all get some much-needed rest... *Red light starts flashing* FWOOSH! (end of season two) ==================================================================================== Season One: episode 1-13 Season Two: episode 14: SLAYERS IDIOTIC: A Parody Prequel episode 15: The Belmont Anime Geek Table Squad vs Evangelion, Macross and Gundam episode 16: Project A-ko vs. Sailor Moon episode 17: Slayers Idiotic II: NAGA'S REALLY BIG RETURN episode 18: Slayers Idiotic III: LINA IN SPACE episode 19: Slayers Idiotic IV: Lina Versus Gourry! episode 20: The Ranma Group Spends a Week At Belmont episode 21: FINAL CONFRONTATION: Slayers Idiotic V episode 22: Pokemon: Two guys, A girl, and a Pikachu episode 23: REENIE'S REAL 7TH BIRTHDAY. . .AND SERENA'S SWEET 16TH episode 24: Doubleheader: Pokesex & "At the Carrot Patch" episode 25: Doubleheader: Kitty Love & DBZ Lemon episode 26: Where do babies come from "The Pokémon way" Quote o' the Day: >Ash waited silently (and drooling from the lack of feeling below his body from the >shot) as Misty gave birth to a Pokéball, Key: Wouldn't that hurt? Shadow: *Ash* Misty, Did you have sex with a Pokemon? Sasami: *Misty* Yep! I did it with Voltorb, and Spearow, and Tentacruel... Oh, just a gentle reminder that my E-mail address is ken_chanx@hotmail.com! Send Fanfics, Jokes, Quotes, notes of your undying love, Flames (uh... on second thought...)