Legal Stuff 'n' such Mystery Science Theatre 3000 & related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. all other characters and likenesses are owned by their respectable owners. Please don't sue me! I'm poorer than dirt! Ken's Notes: I found this one accidently and it has GOT to be one of the shortest fanfics I've ever seen! However, even though I would usually try and find another short fanfic, I'm not gonna! Why? Because it's fun! With that out of the way, here we gooo! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Legato: Rats. I have a great fanfic to torture them with, but who will I put in the theatre? Hmmm... Heh, heh. Why choose? *opening song* In the not to distant future, (Who cares just when!) A guy kidnaps some characters And decides just then... (Zoinks!) Legato: I'll send 'em cruddy fanfics. The worst that I can find. (DSF Slime, Miko, Dan, Nakoruru & Rezo:Lalala!) Then we'll see how long They keep their lil' minds (Ganondorf, Queen Beryl, Team Rocket: Lalala!) Now remember, even Zelgadis can't control when the stories come. He's just gonna take another 'zac (... and maybe anot'r Tum!) MST'er ROLL CALL! Krillin!: (Huba!) Sakura!: (Haaadoken!) Sailor Mercury!: (Stupid Fanboy!) Lara!: (>sniffle< I'm lost!) Kage Y!: (Encyclopedia!) Happosai!: (Watta haul!) Ken-Chan X!: (Wasaaabi!) Cham Cham!: (Me like Spam!) Key!: (30,000?!) Wolfwood!: (Oh, Lordy!) Kristina X!: (Blaster Beeeam!) Tenshi!: (You are forgiven!) Akurei!: (Suffer, Bill Gates!) Sasami!: (Ryo'ohki!) Misty!: (GO, Starmie!) Shadow!: (Don't_call me_Squeaker!) Zelgadis!: (... ...!) Liiiink!: (Oh, Woofnab!) Aaash!: (Finish him, Pikachu!) Vaaash!: (Love and Peace!) If you're asking how they eat 'n' breathe And, uh, other types of stuff, Calm yourself, put down that bottle 'o' Jolt, And kick back in the buff (eep!), For MST Ripoff 2K! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ (SOAP) *It's 7 in the morning. All inhabitants are in the kitchen. Sasami, Lara, and the Angels are making breakfast. Vash sits in a corner muttering to himself.* Vash: I WILL find him! I made a promise! I- OH! Hello *yawn* It's early morning here. None of us could sleep last night, what with the antisipation of whatever that big meanie, Legato, has planned for us... The downing of 8 litres of cola sure didn't help us any... Thank GOD- Wolfwood: *sitting at table eating toast* I heard that! Vash: Sorry! Anyway, thank goodness we all have our own bathrooms! Anyway, we're all still a little cranky, so here's a commercial. *pushes a grey button* *Urd, Belldandy and Skuld sit at a kitchen table* Announcer: Got milk? *Skuld nods furiously and holds up a carton of milk* uh, Got any more milk? *Urd nods and holds up a jug while busting da peace sign* Well, do ya have any MORE milk? *Belldandy shyly holds up another carton.* *The ninjas appear and dump out all the milk then disappear.* HOW 'bout NOW, HUH? NOT SO TOUGH WITHOUT MILK ARE YA?! *Belldandy motions with her hands and a cow appears.* >sigh< I give up. Ken-Chan X: *cough* Weird Al Show Ripoff *cough* Krillin: Oh, so I see the only one to get any sleep is up! Ken-Chan X: Well, I'm used to that much caffeine in my bloodstream! You guys are pussies! Krillin: *mutter* freak! *Loudspeaker crackles to life* Speaker: All inhabitants to the Control Room! *All get up and run towards the control room* (SOAP Control Room) LinK: Quickly! Dr. Forrester is calling! *Pushes a red button* Dr Forrester: How did you guess?... Hey! YOUR not Mike and the bots! *Hangs up* Lara: Wrong red button, elf-boy! *Pushes RIGHT red button* (Dark Place) Legato: How dare you keep me waiting. (SOAP) Ken-Chan X: Sorry. We were experiencing technical difficulties. *glares at Link* (Dark Place) Legato: Pity... saaay. You haven't bowed down to me lately, have you? (SOAP) Akurei: uhhh, Yes we have! We bowed to you last week! All: Yeah! That's right! (Dark Place) Legato: Nooo... I don't think you have! *All inhabitants start to bow.* (SOAP) Kristina X: Can't... control... myself!... Vash: It's his... mind conrol ability... He got it... after getting... my... left arm! Ken-Chan X: Gee... Thanks for... the spoiler!... Vash:... your welcome! (Dark Place) Legato: Good. Now then, your fic is called "What's eating Pikachu" And due to reasons I can't relinquish, ALL of you must watch it! *Chorus of Aww man's come from SOAP inhabitants* Don't complain or you will bow down to me again. Push the button, Nakoruru! Nakoruru: Leave it to me! (SOAP) *lights & klaxons* All: Oh, poopies! WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN! *Door sequence: Door 6: Dogbone door. Opens automatically Door 5: Usagi, C-ko and Mihoshi sit on a couch watching "Sleepless in Seattle". You barely make it out without drowning in the resulting tears. Door 4: It's Lucille from Samurai Pizza Cats! It's that time of the month... You avoid the Macross-style onslaught of missiles. Door 3: It's a drawbridge. It slowly opens, the rusty squeak slowly driving you insane. Door 2: It's Kirby! You run over him and move on. Door 1: It's a wall! One of Lucille's stray missiles blasts an opening. Seated left to right: Front row: Sailor Mercury, Ken-Chan X, Misty, Happosai, Kristina X, Kage Y, Lara, Vash, Cham Cham and Link. Next row back: Ash, Sasami, Krillin, Key, Zelgadis, Sakura, Shadow, Tenshi, Wolfwood and Akurei* Akurei: Bet you didn't think you'd be sitting next to a demon-girl! Wolfwood: Nothing surprises me anymore! >What's Eating Pikachu? Ken-Chan X: Y'know, that sounds like a Lemon title. Ash: Maybe it is. >"Mmm--best barbecue I've ever tasted!" Lara: *tv chef* Once you put out the burning coals... add some wasabi and tobasco and... voila! Barbequed barbeque! Kristina X: Wasaaabi! >"You said it, Brock," Misty said as she bit into another chunk of skewered >meat. All: *Drooling* Shadow and Zelgadis: Meeeaaat! *Drool* Krillin: Fuuuudge! *Drool* Happosai: Poooorrn! *Wham* >"Hey, Pikachu, you want some?" Ash said as he offered a stick to his Pokemon. Tenshi: Don't... say it! Sasami: Yeah! There are children present! Lara: Yeah, but you're, like, 500 years old! Key: Key does not understand why it is not polite to talk about someone offering a stick to someone. *Everyone looks at her* Link: Don't worry about it! "Pika!" it exclaimed after taking a whiff. Misty: umm... was that a "Oh, goody!" Pika, or a "!@$! you!" Pika? "What's the matter?" Ash: The latter! *All nod* >"PIKA...CHUUU!" The air crackled and hummed as the young Pokemon trainers >felt the full fury of the electric mouse coursing through their bodies. LinK: If ya know what I mean! *wink* *Thwakam!* >Charred human flesh sizzled ever so slightly as the children tried to >breathe again. Kage Y: That has REALLY got to suck! Ash: You get used to it. >"What was that all about?" > >"I dunno, Misty. Maybe it was something it ate," Brock remarked as Pikachu >walked away in a huff. Link: Can you really blame him? >"Um, actually, I think it's something WE ate," Ash said as he pointed out >the small tendrils of current now flowing from their meal. Misty: Oh no! Vash: Don't tell me... Krillin: They didn't... Ash: We wouldn't... >"You mean we were eating..." > >Ash nodded grimly. All: EEW! Kristina X: Well, waddaya know... it's over! *All leave* -------------------------------------------------------------------- Ken-Chan X: It was stupid! Lara: It was gross! Wolfwood: It was short! All: WE LOVED IT! (Dark Place) Legato: I see. So, is FriezaBall P keeping you in line? (SOAP) Lara: No. We destroyed it with something that we all created: The Super Saijin Gokuball! We have it all on video tape if you want... (Dark Place) Legato: Hmmm... amusing. We'll see how well you fare next time. Push the button, Nakoruru! FWOOSH! ================================================================== episode 1: Why RPG's Should be Severely Censored and Devoid of Character Development episode 2: Steven Gohan's letter to the GIA episode 3: Doubleheader: The Anime Night Before Christmas and The Anime Geek Table Squad Meet Ranma 1/2 episode 4: The Anime Fight of the Century episode 5: Life Sucks!: A Slayers fic episode 6: Chibiusa's 7th Birthday episode 7: Doubleheader: Madness takes Hold -- Rape and Ruto's Gift episode 8: Doubleheader: Ami-Chan and First Times episode 9: A Very Merry Trigun Christmas episode 10: A Typical Sailor Moon Episode episode 11: What's Eating Pikachu? Quote o' the Day: Shadow and Zelgadis: Meeeaaat! *Drool* Krillin: Fuuuudge! *Drool* Happosai: Poooorrn! *Wham* Oh, just a gentle reminder that my E-mail address is ken_chanx@hotmail.com! Send Fanfics, Jokes, Quotes, notes of your undying love, Flames (uh... on second thought...)