Legal Stuff 'n' such Mystery Science Theatre 3000 & related characters are owned and copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. all other characters and likenesses are owned by their respectable owners. Please don't sue me! I'm poorer than dirt! Ken's Notes: This is the infamous "Chibiusa's 7th Birthday" Why is it so infamous? Because it is a LEMON! In other words, if you are under 18, you will be sorry as this is unfit for underage people. Hell, it's not even good for people who ARE the legal age! Thanks to Kara Jade for letting me use Sephiroth (even though he belongs to Square), and for helping me keep him in character! With that out of the way, ready the barf bags, 'cause here we gooooo! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Dark Place) *Dark Shadowy Figure is hunched over a fax machine. He's wearing full Radioactive protective gear. He picks up the story from the fax machine with a pair of tongs.* Dark Shadowy Figure: Heaven help them all! Heh, heh! *opening song* In the not to distant future, (Who cares just when!) A guy kidnaps some characters And decides just then... (Zoinks!) Dark Shadowy Figure: I'll send 'em cruddy fanfics! The worst that I can find! (Dan, Nakoruru & Rezo:Lalala!) Then we'll see how long They keep their lil' minds (Team Rocket: Lalala!) Now the tables have been turned! They had tried to send the fic But, the baddies have been burned! They'll just hafta deal it out without getting sick! (Oy vey!) MST'er ROLL CALL! Nakoruru!: (Stupid falcon!) Jesse!: (How DARE you mess with perfection!) Sephiroth: (What did I do to deserve THIS?!) Rezo!: (I can SEE! AWK!) Jaaaames!: (Surrender now... please?!) If you're asking how they eat 'n' breathe And, uh, other types of stuff, Calm yourself, put down that bottle 'o' Jolt, And kick back in the buff (eep!), For MST Ripoff 2K! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (SOAP) *The inhabitants are having a water fight. Shadow is sleeping on a stump. Happosai splashes Zelgadis with a bucket of water... it also splashes Shadow. Zelgadis becomes a human... nobody notices the naked guy with cat ears and a tail lying on the stump* Lara: uhhh, Happosai. What kind of water WAS that?! Happosai: It was water from the exact replica of Jusenkyo Springs that I found in the basement... Just don't use hot water, Zelgadis! *Misty starts screaming* Misty: * pointing at the stump* Wh-who's that guy?! *Shadow wakes up* Shadow: *groggily* Wha- what's with all the rack-... Hmmm, I seem to be naked! and I'm able to speak Human all the sudden... *clothing magically appears on him* Cham Cham: He's so DREAMY!! Misty: Whatever... Ken-Chan X: Shadow? Is that you? Shadow: Of course it is, brainiac! And with my new form I'll take over this stupid satellite and then the... *Ken takes a piece of string out of his pocket. Shadow's eyes get bigger* ...Oh! STRING!! Loudspeaker: All inhabitants to the control room... Link: The Avon lady calls! (SOAP control room) Sakura: So, whassaaaaaa... (Dark Place) Dark Shadowy Figure: Don't_do that_AGAIN!!... Anyway, your fanfic is "Chibiusa's 7th Birthday"! 'nuff said! Push the button, Nakoruru! Nakoruru: Aye aye, Sempai! (SOAP) Ken-Chan X: Oh, no you don't! *Ken pushes a gold button* (Dark Place) *A message reading "Sender Blocked! Have a pleasant day!" appears on the screen* Nakoruru: What the...? Ken-Chan X: You forget that I created this place! That was a "Block Sender" button! That fic is your problem now! Vash: Now, repeat after me... This world... *transmission cut* Rezo: Well, I guess we'll have to be the victims, this time, right boss? Dark Shadowy Figure: uhhh... I have some... tests to, umm, do! bye * casually walks out the door. footsteps quickly speed up off into the distance) Jessie: Well, with Dan still nuts and the boss being a chicken, we need a fifth member! *to you* this is gonna take a while. *pushes grey button* *camera pans in on Hitomi from Escaflowne* Hitomi: *voiceover* Was it all a dream? Eh, who cares! There were a whole load of Bishounen! Announcer: Do you wanna be as lucky as Hitomi? All Female Studio Audience: uhhh... Announcer: Now you can! "With Van in a Can"!! All Female Studio Audience: What?! Announcer: Yes! Just open a can and out pops... *Van comes out, fighting a dragon* Now you can have adventures of your very own, AND a cute guy to boot! Not only that, but "Van in a Can" gives you extrasensory powers and all the teen hangups you can handle! All Female Studio Audience: Yaay! Announcer: Buy "Van in a Can" today! (Also try "Allen by the Gallon"!) Nakoruru: *on the phone* Yes, Kara... I realize that!... uh, huh!... We'll brainwash him, I promise! So will you let us borrow him?... Thank You! We are deeply in your debt!... yup! Buh bye! *hangs up* *turns to the others* he'll get here right about... NOW! *Portal opens and Sephiroth comes out* Sephiroth: *slowly, with gritted teeth* Remind me... to NEVER AGAIN... play Truth or Dare with that jealous ELF Ghaleon... Nakoruru & Jesse: SEPHY-SAMA!! *start to run towards him* Sephiroth: Huh?! BOLT 3! *various strikes of lightning fry Nakoruru and Jesse* Hands off the merchandise, ladies. Rezo: Welcome to Dark Place! Now, then where's our theatre...? *takes out a small map* Ah! Here we are! Prepare for transport! *they disappear* *In the theatre, they reappear. Seated left to right: Nakoruru, James, Jesse, Rezo, Sephiroth* Sephiroth: So, this is "Chibiusa's 7th Birthday"? >ChibiUsa's Seventh Birthday Sephiroth: Okaay... Sounds innocent... Jesse and James: *heads bowed and hands clasped* Pleasebeinnocent,pleasebeinnocent. > By Robert Tsunai > > This is a hentai story about ChibiUsa. Sephiroth: Oh, crap. James: *forboding* There IS no escape! > If you don't like Incest, >Child sex, lesbian sex, bondage, anal sex,or things like that All but Sephiroth: We don't!! Sephiroth: -then you have a life! Congratulations! > you probably shouldn't read this. *All get up to leave, notice that there are no doors and sit down grudgingly* >In this story, ChibiUsa has sex of some sort with every senshi. Nakoruru: This is WRONG! This is so totally WRONG! Have I mentioned how WRONG this is? Sephiroth: No, I don't think you have. >If you want to skip to a certain senshi, I've marked off the different >people's with stars. Rezo: As if that will help us any... >Here is the order they do her in: > Mamoru - a good hard incestous fuck, bondage All: NOOOOOO!!!!! James: I fail to see what's "good" about an incestous fu- Jesse: JAMES! >Rei - An All-too -big rod and some torture. Sephiroth: Oh, my GOD! Why wasn't Mina the one who got sent?! Nakoruru: Because it was YOU we asked for! > Haruka - First a good spanking then doubledildo sex. Nakoruru: I think the author needs that... James: The spanking? Or the- Jesse: JAMES!! > Minako - Tit stuff and kissing and fondling Rezo: In other words, practically all the Anime Lemon Cliches are gonna be used in this fic... > Michiru - They lick each other's pussies Sephiroth: Gee, I was kinda hoping they'd leave Luna and Artemus out of this... > Makoto Double Fist/double foot Fuck(lots of pain) All: WHAT?!?! > Ami - banana fucks ChibiUsa's butthole and whips. Jesse: Somehow, I don't see her doing that, really! James: Hey, she MAY have another secret life... nudge nudge *WHAM WHAM* Jesse: hush! Setsuna - Uses the Time staff on Small Lady All: The WHAT?!?!?!?!? Hotaru - They rub pussies and make out Sephiroth: Poor, poor Luna, Artemus and Diana... Usagi - 69, tit stuff Rezo: What an... ODD mother/daughter relationship... > Feel free to read this if you're a minor, though, people under 18 should be able to have fun too! Nakoruru: How _DARE_ he suggest a minor read this! Rezo: Shh... It's FINALLY starting... It was CHibiUsa's seventh birthday, June 30th, same day as Usagi. She was very happy as everyone gathered around her singing happy birthday. Nakoruru: *Chibiusa* Gee, thanks for the party... HEY! Why're you guys stripping?... > She looked around again at them and noticed something - none of them had any >presents. Jesse: WARNING! WARNING! FIC GETTING WRONG! > "Wh-Where are the presents?" She asked, a little dissapointed. > "This year you're getting a different kind of present, ChibiUsa," >Rei said to her. Sephiroth: *Rei* We're calling off this stupid fanfic so we can KILL the author! Nakoruru: Oooh! Getting dark already? Sephiroth: Too much caffiene. Makes me darker than usual. > "What kind? > > "Your first sexual experiences," Makoto said Nakoruru: *Chibiusa* But I wanted Pokémon! >"What?" Nakoruru: You heard me! *Pout* > "You will have an orgasm by each and every one of us," Usagi told her. All: Wh-wh-what?! Rezo: Hey! I just realized something! In the actual series, she was eight! Sephiroth: Geez. No wonder she was so jaded when she first appeared. > "ChibiUsa, go to the bedroom and wait. We'll decide who goes forst." Rezo: Leave the forest out of this!! Sephiroth: *Forrest Gump voice* My momma always said life is like a box of chocolates... you never know which one was from the vat with the sexually frustrated employee... Rezo: Your mother said THAT?! Sephiroth: She said once that after living for two millenia, the only things that amused her were the sexual innuendos. > "I... I'm not sure about this.. I ... no, I don't wanna do this, " >Chibi Usa stated. Sephiroth: LISTEN TO HER! LISTEN TO HER!! > Witrhout a word, Haruka picked her up and carried her to the >bedroom. She pinned her down and tied each of her limbs to the >corners of the bed. James: Kinky... *Wham* I deserved that! Jesse: Damn straight! > ChibiUsa screamed and writhed and yelled, but >to no avail. Jesse: Kinda like college... > Haruka joined the others in the other room who were deciding who should go >first. Rezo: Screw the forest! Leave Abbott and Costello out of this! (Ask your parents...) > "I should go first, I'm her mother!" Nakoruru: I've NEVER had that kind of a relationship with MY mother! THANK GOD! >"Can I? I'm her best friend..." Nakoruru: mind you... uh, Forget I said anything! > "She should have her virginity taken first, I should go." Sephiroth: Yes! Escape the fic while you can! >"hey, I just tied her down... So let me go first." > Ami spoke up. "I think Mamoru should go first.. He is her father, and she should have her virginity taken. Sephiroth: ... stating the obvious... Sailor Mercury: *over speaker* But I NEVER state the obvious! Sephiroth: ... case in point... > And no matter who goes >first, we'll all get to watch anyway." James: With the webcameras! > THe others reluctantly agreed. They all stripped down and walked >into the bedroom where ChibiUsa was tied down. > ******************************** Jesse: Star light... Star bright... I wish this insipid fic would end! > The 9 naked girls sat down on the other bed to watch as Mamoru >approached ChibiUsa. Jesse: ...damn! James: *Gawk* N-nine! *drool* > She trembled as he approached her. Sephiroth: Then the cops busted in, killed all the scouts and rescued Chibiusa! The end! ...Please? Nakoruru:...You wish! > "ChibiUsa, I'm going to take our virginity. This is going to hurt a >lot, but in the end we'll bith enjoy it." Sephiroth: Darth Mamoru, lord of the Bith. Nakoruru: Hey! Who you callin' a "bith"?! > "no.. Mamo-chan.." Sephiroth: LISTEN TO HER!! She said NO! > He positioned his rock hard dick at the entrance to her pussy. >"ready, CHibiUsa-chan?" Jesse: *Chibiusa* Well, I seem to be tied down at the moment but if you were to... > "No!!! MAMOCHAN, NO!!!" All: LISTEN TO HER! LISTEN TO HER! NOOOOOOOO!! He forced his huge dick into his tight, wet, 7 year old daughter's pussy. All: GAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! James: How can a seven year old get wet? Jesse: Just nod and wince, James! Just nod and wince! > **************************** James: *little kid* I _WILL_ beat "Space Invaders"! Sephiroth: Hey, stop dissing my mother! > Rei got up. "my turn," She said with an evil look in her eye. Sephiroth: Looks like SHE'S the one who needs one of those charms... > In her hand was a large dowel, with a diameter about the size of >a soda can. Jesse: Oh... James: ... GOOD... Sephiroth: ME! *others look at him strangely* > She moved over to the crying ChibiUsa, and without >warning, pushed the 12 inch dowel into her aching, bleeding pussy. Jesse: Make... the hurting... stop?! > SHe screamed again in pure pain as the huge object penetrated her. Nakoruru: This is WRONG! Sephiroth: Just as a purely scientific comment... she'd be unconscious from blood loss from a huge tear... Just a bit of comfort for you. Or not as the case may be. > **************************** Rezo: Look out for the pika-pi! Nakoruru: Old joke, Rezo! Rezo: The old ones are the best. >Haruka got up next. She untied Chibi Usa and retied her face Down on the bed James: Good lord! Let her BREATHE, people! >so that she was on her knees. Haruka raised her hand and brought it down hard >on ChibiUsa's rear. > > ChibiUsa screamed as Haruka slapped her little ass again and again. James: I know this is wrong, but why does this remind me of something? Jesse: Last night, James. Remember? James: Oh, right! Can I wear the leather tonight? Jesse: Shut _up_, James! > Haruka then turned her around again and got out her doulbe dildo. Rezo: A "Doulbe", huh? Isn't that a stereo company? Didn't know they made sex toys too... > She pushed it up her pussy and set it on VIBRATE. She positioned it at >ChibiUsa's entrance, and pushed it in. ChibiUsa yelled again as yet antoher >object foced itself inside of her. Sephiroth: *brief disgusted shudder* We have go for Animé Lemon Cliché number 23. Nakoruru: Nah! The author probably had a- All: NAKORURU!! >"We're done now, you guys can use it." Makoto inserted it into her >own pussy and began having sex with Setsuna. Rezo: Natch! Sephiroth: Now THERE'S a slightly more logical pair... though not by much. > ***************************** Sephiroth: Tear off and discard both portions. > Minako arose. James: So to speak... > "Now the goddess of Love get's a turn!" > > She approached ChibiUsa and untied her. > > "ChibiUsa, do you like my tits?" Nakoruru:*Chibiusa* not really... > "I.. I don't know..." ChibiUsa said blushing. > "I know you do because you're always staring at them when I talk >to you..." Nakoruru: *Chibiusa* I'm only three feet tall! I can't help it! >"You knew that I liked your tits?" > > "Of course, and if you had asked I would have shown them to you, >that's what I did for the others when they asked." James: How come when I asked to touch a woman's tits, she slaps me? IT's NOT FAIR! *Jesse leans over and whispers in his ear* Okay, later then! >"Can... Can I touch them?" > > "Do whatever you like to them, ChibiUsa." Jesse: *Chibiusa* Can I bite them off? >ChibiUsa grabbed one and began squeezing it. She pinched the >nipple hard. > > "ChibiUsa, do that harder..." ChibiUsa began pinching pulling and >twisting her nipple harder. Sephiroth: ...And it burst, sending Minako whirling around the room, emitting a high-pitched farting noise. All: *Start laughing uncontrollably* Rezo: *wiping eyes and giggling slightly* Th-that was a good one! Sephiroth: Thanks. >"Bite them ChibiUsa!" ChibiUsa took the other nipple in her mouth >and began biting it softly. "Harder, ChibiUsa!! MAke it hurt!" > > ChibiUsa began biting hard now, as Minako screamed. At the same >time, Minako began rubbing ChibiUsa's pussy. Sephiroth: Poooor Diana! > ChibiUsa moaned and kissed Minako passionately. Sephiroth: Good me! Now it's Anime Lemon Cliche # 14... kinda... >Minako continued rubbing ChibiUsa's pussy as they french kissed each other >over and over. Minako located ChibiUsa's clit and began pinching it. >ChibiUsa moaned and came. Rezo:... and went... Sephiroth: ... running and screaming to get out of the fic... > "MINAKOCHAN!!!!" Rezo: ADRIAN! Sephiroth: STELLA! James: OH, ROCKY! *All stare at him* What? > Minako returned to the bed and Michiru arose. Sephiroth: What's with all of these 'women' 'rising'? >****************** All: OH! AH! Sephiroth: The "Firework" sketch, ladies and gentlemen... > Michiru approached ChibiUsa. Nakoruru: *Michiru* Psst! Wanna buy an "N"? > "ChibiUsa, would you like me to show you what Haruka and I do >every night?" Sephiroth: *Chibiusa* Not really... > "Yes!!" > > Michiru sat down on the bed next to her. > >"lie down and spread you legs." Rezo: *Chibiusa* Uh, no! YOU do it! >ChibiUsa did as she was told. > >Michiru lowered her face to her hairless pussy and began running >her toungue down her pussylips. Nakoruru: This is WRONG! WHY MUST THE FATES CONSPIRE AGAINST US *sob* WHY MUST WE SUFFER?! Oh, the HORROR! Sephiroth: Shut up, and let's get this over with! >ChibiUsa moaned in ecstacy as Michiru's toungue licked her. >Michiru began pushing her toungue into ChibiUsa's hole, >tasting her pussy juice. > >"Can I lick your's too, Michiru-san?", chibiUsa moaned. > > Michiru got into 69 position. Chibiusa stared in awe at the beautiful >pussy in front of her face. Sephiroth: *anguished* Little girls should NOT be enthusiastic about this! > She licked it, and Michiru moaned. She bean licking it more, tasting >her juices and sucking on her pussy lips. ChibiUsa found Michiru's >clit and cautiously took it into her mouth. Rezo: ... And bit it off. The End! > She began flicking it with her tongue and sucking on it. Michiru >moaned loudly as ChibiUsa did this, and began lickign ChibiUsa's >clit. ChibiUsa writhed under her as she took it into her mouth and >lightly nibbled on it. Rezo: And bit it off... THE END!! See?! Nobody listens to me! > ChibiUsa began doing the same thing to Michiru. Both moaned >louder and louder as they sucked and nibbbled each other's clits. >"Michiru-san!", Chibiusa shouted as she came, her pussy being >taken over by waves of pleasure. Sephiroth: Everyone out of the pool! > As she came, she mistakenly bit Michiru's clit harder than she had been, Rezo: I'm NOT repeating myself... > causing michiru to cum. ChibiUsa licked the pussy juice up, and Michiru >returned to the bed. >************************* > Makoto whent over to ChibiUsa. Nakoruru: From WHENCE did she come? Sephiroth: The other side of the room - no, wait, Camelot - AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH! > "ChibiUsa, I hope you like pain..." >CHibiUsa nodded. "Yeah, I do actually.. " Sephiroth: what? >"Good" > Makoto ordered her to spread her pussy wide. She did, and Makoto >pushed 2 fingers inside her.. ChibiUsa moaned, > >"More, Makochan!" Makoto pushed a third finger up ChibiUsa, and >then a fourth. > >Chibiusa was writhing on the bed as Makoto put more in her. >Makoto finnally pushed her entire fist up ChibiUsa's tight dripping >pussy. ChibiUsa screamed as Makoto pushed her fist in all the was >past her wrist. James: That's a bad way to lose a watch... > "Makoto!!! Make it hurt more!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rezo: NANI?! >Makoto obeyed ChibiUsa and pushed her other fist inside CHibiUsa >too. ChibiUsa now had both of Makoto's hands inside of her, and >was bleeding all over the bed. Sephiroth: *eyes closed, breathing smoothly* I must not fear. Fear is the little death that leads to total oblivion... Screw it. *starts hugging Masamune* Mommy, take me out of here... > Makoto decide to make it hurt even more, and took her clit in her >mouth, She began biting it hard. ChibiUsa was still screaming for >more pain, so makoto began pushing her foot into ChibiUsa's pussy >along with her hands. *All girls start crying* Jesse: Please! I've had enough *sob* I'll be a good girl from now on! JUST MAKE IT STOP!! > She forced the whole thing in, and ChibiUsa's pussy began bleeding more, with >two fists and a foot in her. > >"Make it hurt even more!!!!!!!!!" All: *in a small voice* noooo... >Makoto pushed her other foot into ChibiUsa. ChibiUSa was in so >much pain that she came, blood and cum spewing forth from her >battered pussy. Jesse: Now I know it can expand, but this is stretching it! Nakoruru: Don't mention stretch! *urk!* >Makoto returned to the bed, and as soon as she sat down, Rei >spread her pussy and began pushing the rod she had into her. He >others joined in and bit her nipples and clit. Sephiroth: ... Totally forgetting about Chibiusa, who went and called the cops! The End! >********************** > AMi got up and went to the bed where the bleeding cum covered ChibiUsa lay. "ChibiUsa, you're a bit too tender for anything vaginal, so I'm going to push this banana up your asshole.", Sephiroth: *Sarcastic; still clutching Masamune like a teddy bear* OH BOY! That makes EVERYTHING aaaall better, doesn't it? Logically, she should be dead from blood loss, but noooo, *gets slightly hysterical* this guy just keeps it going and going and going... > she said, holding up a long yeelow banana. Rezo: First fic that I've ever seen with a Southern accent... >Ami was smacking chibiUsa with both hands now as she pumped the banana in and >out of ChibiUsa's asshole. She called out, "toss me that whip!" All: 0/~CRACK THAT WHIP!0/~ > to the others >on the bed. They chucked it to her and resumed tortuening Makoto. James: Natch! >Ami took the whip and began whipping ChibiUsa's ass hard with it. At the pain >of the whip on her, ChibiUsa screamed. She abruptly turned around so ami's whip >hit her pussy instead of her ass. Jesse: *Sarcastic* Gee, that's the first thing I'd do... James: You would? > The pain searing through her made her cum. Ami pulled out the banana and >returned to the other bed. Sephiroth: *calmed down slightly* So now she's a masochist... Must remember that... >********************* >Setsuna walked over to ChibiUsa, the time staff in her hand. All: The WHAT??!! >[A few minutes pass] Rezo: Yes. But for WHOM?! > "oh PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!" Nakoruru: Hey! What's Mokona doing in this fic?! > she screamed as she came. Setsuna removed the Time staff. > >"Did you like that, Small Lady?" > >"Yes, thank you Puu!" Rezo: Omigod! Chibiusa's turning into Mokona! Jesse: Wouldn't the Time Staff kill her? or at least WARP her? Sephiroth: Maybe she's legal age now... > *********************** > > Hotaru approached ChibiUsa shyly. > >"ChibiUsa-chan?" > >"Hotaruchan!!" James: ROCKY!! > "I.. I don't know where to begin... ChibiUsa..." > >"How bout kissing her, Hotaru-chan," Haruka encouraged from the >bed. Sephiroth: Hey, isn't Hotaru about eight as well? *general consensus* Sephiroth: Ewwww... >""Ok.. ChibiUsachan.." >She neared ChibiUsa and kissed her on the lips. They began >kissing passionately, and ChibiUsa rolled onto Hotaru. Rezo: *Wrestling Announcer* AND SHE GETS THE THREE COUNT!! CHIBIUSA'S THE NEW WORLD CHAMP! > "Hotaru-chan," She moaned between kisses, "Let's rub our pussies >together." Sephiroth: *Announcer* Next, on Jerry Springer, "People who rub cats together!" James: *Hotaru* It gives you a charge, dude! >"Okay", Hotaru moaned as ChibiUsa kissed her. >ChibiUsa positioned her pussy directly over Hotarus and began >pumping her hips. Hotaru moaned adn moved her hips in time with >ChibiUsa's. Bith girls were dripping pussy juice all over each other >as their pussylips ans clits touched again and again. Sepheroth: Again, Anime Lemon Cliche #23 is in effect! >Hotaru moaned as their sexes touched again and again. Both girls >came as their pussies met. James: *Chibiusa's pussy* Hey! How ya doin'! Rezo: *Hotaru's Pussy* Whassap?! *WHAM! WHONK!* Jesse: Baka! "Hotaruchan!" "ChibiUsachan!" James: ROCKY-chan! > Hotaru laid there next to ChibiUsa on the bed for a few seconds as >her orgasm subsides. She kissed her best friend on the lips and >returned to the other bed. Nakoruru: I've NEVER had best friends like THAT! ******************************* > Usagi arose and walked over to her daughter. "ChibiUsa." > > "Usagi" Sephiroth: *Chibiusa* Gee, mom! Why didn't you protect me? The Child Protection people will have your arse on a platter. Jesse: *Usagi* Mmmm! Platter! James: *Chibiusa* -And then I can go and live with Hotaru. Mmm... Hota-*WHAP!* Jesse: James no baka! > They both instantly knew what they wanted to do. Nakoruru: They went and hunted down the author and covered him in pudding and gave him to two gay cowboys! James: *Gay Cowboy #1* Hmmm, I'm all out of pudding! Rezo: *Gay Cowboy # 2* Me too! Let's explore our sexuality! Sephiroth: *sigh* The "Two Gay Cowboys eating pudding" sketch... sadly... >They assumed the 69 position and began licking each others pussies. > "Ummm.. ChibiUsa, you taste sooooo god" James: Say... what DOES a god taste like? Sephiroth: Raw or cooked? Rezo: Like chicken, I reckon... > "Umm, Usagi, oh!!" > >ChibiUsa began squeezing Usagi's tits as she licked her, pinching >the nipples. Usagi began doing the same to ChibiUsa's small nipples. >They both came to a climax as they licked each other's clits and >squeezed each other's tits. Usagi returned to the bed and ChibiUsa >sat up. James: Didn't they already do this? Hey! It's almost over! > "Everyone, that was the best birthday present ever!!!" Rezo: Really? I thought it was a pretty f$^$% up present! > "So, ChibiUsa, you up for another fuck?," Mamoru asked. > "Yea!" She shouted, as she ran over to the bed to have sex with all >the others again. All: WHAT???!??! Sephiroth: *Ethan Hawke voice* I believe that these are symptoms of 'Stockholm Syndrome', where a captive becomes so broken that they fall in love with their captors... > > The End *They all disappear* ------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Back in Dark Place Central) Nakoruru: Thank god! It's over! Rezo: I never wanna go through that again! Sephiroth: Do you usually give a commentary? James: We usually don't have to watch fanfics, so go RIGHT ahead! Sephiroth: The fic had some of the basic hallmarks of a horrible fanfic - bad characterization and a stupid idea, namely. It's a pity that the author wasted his surprisingly good grammar and spelling on such a piece of tripe. We can be thankful, though, that there was no self-insertion; that would most likely require us to read other things by the author to understand, and that could push anyone over the edge. However, even considering its innate wrongness, there were two good things about it. Others: *gasps of horror that he might consider such a thing* Sephiroth: It was short, and it did not go into too much detail, unlike others I have had the misfortune to see. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have dibs on the washroom so I can attempt to drown myself in one of the sinks. Rezo: We have a bathroom? I'll be right back! *runs into the bathroom. A few minutes later he comes back.* Ahhh! That's better! Jesse: So are we gonna brainwash him before we send him back? Nakoruru: Nah! He's a big boy! He can handle himself! *Sephiroth returns, dragged by Rezo* Noooo... Sweet water of oblivion, return to me... *Sees Neuralyzer in Nakoruru's hand* Meh, just as good! *Grabs it, twiddles the little switches, and flashes it* Whoa, pretty lights... *A portal swallows him, sending him (hopefully) back to his place of residence.* James: Don't you usually have to tell the person something after the flashy-flashy? Jesse: Did YOU want to phone up Kara and tell her we messed up? James: Er... No... Jesse: Then we pretend that didn't happen. Nakoruru: With that out of the way, we must plot revenge! *Dark Shadowy Figure enters the room with a fully recovered Dan* Dark Shadowy Figure: Is it done? Good! Then hail the SOAP! I've got the perfect plan for revenge in mind... *Dr. Evil Laugh (tm)* FWOOSH! (to be continued... some time in January 2001) *In Kara Jade's subconscious... Something evil approaches...* Voice: I'll teach that damned elf to mess with me... *twang.* ========================================================================== episode 1: Why RPG's Should be Severely Censored and Devoid of Character Development episode 2: Steven Gohan's letter to the GIA episode 3: Doubleheader: The Anime Night Before Christmas and The Anime Geek Table Squad Meet Ranma 1/2 episode 4: The Anime Fight of the Century episode 5: Life Sucks!: A Slayers fic episode 6: Chibiusa's 7th Birthday Quote o' the Day: > "ChibiUsa, do that harder..." ChibiUsa began pinching pulling and >twisting her nipple harder. Sephiroth: ...And it burst, sending Minako whirling around the room, emitting a high-pitched farting noise! Oh, just a gentle reminder that my E-mail address is ken_chanx@hotmail.com! Send Fanfics, Jokes, Quotes, notes of your undying love, Flames (uh... on second thought...)