My life before knowing Christ
As early as Primary Four, I was wondering about the meaning of life. I was born in a broken family. My parents divorced and I was and still am living with my mother. Besides that, I was also a very shy person then. Due to my family background and the fact that my mother had to work all day and night to support my brother and me financially as well as take care of the housework, I hardly had anyone to talk to at home. Friends in my school became my only source of companionship during those difficult early times.
As I was observing my friends, I start to wonder to myself, "Why was I born under such unhappy circumstances? Why are most of my friends different?" "U mean, when I die, life will cease for me?" I came to the conclusion that there must be some kind of after-life. Otherwise, life would be a big joke.
How I accepted Christ
I started exploring religions. It seems to be the only way I can find some meaning in life. As my mother is a Christian, I was exposed to Sunday school at an early age, although nobody really told me about Christianity.
While I was Primary Six, I happen to come across a series of six Christian articles. The article was trying to explain how God created the world and made man. How man sin and how Jesus had to come down and save us. I have heard this story before and I was prepared to just read through it. When I came to the sixth article, I was presented the destiny of Christians through many different "crowns" they can win when Jesus comes back. They include the "Soul-winners" crown, which would be won if the Christian win another to Christ and many others.
That set me thinking, "Hey, if what I am reading is true, I will have everything to gain by being a Christian. I get the insurance that I will go to heaven rather than hell after death. Those crowns I read about are bonuses beyond that which I do not need to aim for anyway. If Christianity is false, life will certainly not be any different from now. The most I go to church in Sunday for nothing. Life can't get any worse for me than this anyway." It seems as though I have everything to gain and nothing to lose by accepting Christ. (It was only when I was a 1st year undergraduate in philosophy that I realized that this reasoning was first put forward by the philosopher Pascal!). So I simply follow the suggested prayer written there and prayed to accept Christ in my life.
How my life changed after accepting Christ
Well, after I accepted Christ, I could afford to just trust him to make things work out for me. I guess the most important benefit I got was the philosophy that happiness is not about having things or in the right circumstances, but is simply a matter of choice. When I knew that my "life-after-death" future was secured, I felt the freedom to look at the bright side and continue to smile no matter what the circumstances are. That helped a lot especially during my O and A levels, as well as the University times.
Although I only took God more seriously during my University days, I never regretted asking him to come to my life back then in Primary Six. I believe my simple act of faith then allows him the opportunity to bless me so abundantly and to teach and give me an everlasting reason to be joyful. It is my hope that, when I finally get to "life-after-death", I will be remembered as one who is, by God's grace and mercy, always joyful in any circumstances.
Thus I hope to encourage you people out there, that there need not be a right reason to accept Jesus. In my opinion, all he asked for is that we accept his gift of salvation. You need not wait until you are absolutely certain about Christianity or when you are good enough for him because you never will be
J . I am really amazed that I first accepted him out of pure rational and, perhaps you can say, selfish reasons. As I grow in him, God has given me a freedom that is really amazing, freedom knowing that his grace is sufficient for all my needs. That no matter what happen to me in my studies, my work, my relationships and the rest of my life, I just need to trust him. If all Jesus did is to die for me and give me a meaning to live my otherwise disillusioned life and nothing else, I will still praise him and live for him. What's more, he has blessed me so much more, my exam results, my current job here and everything else. Yet, I know that these blessings are not mine but his and that they can be taken away the very next day and I will still be happy. This sense of freedom is the best ever! When you people see me smiling all the time, it is really a manifestation of the great sense of freedom inside me. It can be yours too when you accept his gift.The song, In Christ alone, really ministered to me. I would like to live my life according to the principles expressed in it:
In Christ alone
I placed my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone