...Way too much energy today... Sorry I can't really update, but it's way to hot to be out here. ><;; Update later!

    (...),
      Squall.

   ...Yeah... got that new net service in, and it's going to drive me insane. Anyways. Finished all of my homework, studied for the quiz tomorrow, and transfered my notes to a new notebook. I'm doing alright... And now I ahve to go play "Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem" on GameCube, because I kinda forgot I had it. I've rented it for a few days. I have to be in bed by 11, so I'd best go play. See you all 'till tomorrow. Bye. Oh, And I have to get my junk together for school tomorrow.

   ...Okay... I hate humantity. Much more than before. How stupid can they get? I did great on the squallness factor today. I just... didn't care. Mom had me meet one of he friends and he held out his hand to me and a seen of Squall and Zell flashed through me mind. I just stared at him before walking away (to the near-by SunCoast.)
   Well, today I got home and was nagged to hurry up and install the new internet. After sighing angrily and slumping down into the computer chair, I did it. ><;
   Today was kinda boring, but was average too. I guess I should finish my homework... *chastise* Dumbass that I am, I'll fail if I'm not careful...

    Whatever...,
      Squall...

   ...Okay, When I was born, who left out the sense to say what I think..? Here I thought I was all "I say what I think, and if you don't like it, you can fuck yourself" type. Yeah, but I can't even tell my allies what I think. I'm thinking (Whatever... I really don't give a damn, this isn't my business and doesn't affect me.) while saying, "ah...okay." and giving advice. I can do it in real life, but online..? No. ><;

   ...Well, Classes were as boring as always, but what can I do..? I might as well obey. ><; Spanish class was slightly enjoyable, I guess. We picked our names I'm Teresa (Terror-ayy-suh) and my practices go well. Do be frightened if I greet you in a preppy "�Hola!" or "�Buenos Dias! �Yo me llamo Teresa! �Como te llamas t�?" "�Si! ...ch... �Como se llama el/ella?"
   -_-; See what I mean..? Goddess Preserve me, I am back at school and realize how much I HATE Bryan Hannah. My Lord and Lady shield me, but he's an idiot. ><;; I'll remember to give you some examples at some point.
  Well, today started out pretty shitty on the acting Squall-like factor, but then on the bus ride home I completely ignored a twelve-person horde that was seeking to annoy me, a lowly sophomore. ^^ pissed them off entirely. How fun.

   And as the ending note, I reiterate on how much I HATE Humanity and society! Oh, and someone stole my pillow and blanket from my garage. How rude. We have a back room on our garage, it's got a day bed, a swing and a dart board w/ table and chairs... and someone stole MY blanket and pillow off the bed. Dumb fucks. If I find them, I'll kill them.

    (...mother fucking bastards.),
      Squall.

   ...I am feeling so... perfect. And cold. I feel entirely emotionless. It's... comforting, in a way, I guess. I've been acting like Squall through school and during home hours. Go me. Anyways.
    I may have hurt Jesse's feelings by being harsh. Whatever, doesn't really matter... because I honestly don't care. He just keeps popping up whenever I'm working. You'd think not answering would give him the go away hint, but no. He needs to question what he did and why I'm not talking. Fuck off doesn't workl either. Anyways. That's pretty much it. I don't have serious homework yet, seeing as the teacher's are still trying to aqucaint themselves with their students

Teacher~  And is Miss Rachel, who won't laugh or smile for me, and barely talks. I'm glad she participates when I call on her. *point* Why do you only participate when called on?
Squall~   ...*glare* It's required.
Teacher~   Ah, okay! ^^ *laugh*
Squall~   *scowl* ...whatever.

Gotta shower. See you all whenever. I'll prolly be back in a few minutes.

    (...),
      Squall.

   ...Joy. The first day of school I slept all day when I got home. Here's how it went:

My Geometry teacher, Mr. Schiepek, is a lunatic who can't get past the fact that I lack a sense of humor (because, as in all real life things, I act like Squallness). Ironically, he placed me next to Seifer at a desk for two. My next class, Civics, taught by Mr. Howlett, who also finds my lack of common ability of laughing bizarre and makes the most of it by using me for ridicule. I also have Seifer in that class. Next, there is Spanish I, with Mrs. Masten, who seems nice enough. Then I have First Lunch, meaning I get the hot food (Seifer has Second Lunch), followed by Biology with a psycho-bitch, Mrs. Rogers. Right, so I've been thinking about Squall for the all of before lunch and during lunch and I'm thinking Balamb-ness. i go to ask the psycho bitch a question and I forget I need to say Mrs. Masten and I begin, "Instructor--" "Instructor? I like that! I think I'll have my classes call me that!" "><; Yes, well, When is the assignment due..? I'm sorry, I didn't catch it." "Oh, I forgot to tell you guys, didn't I? Oh well. Tomorrow, then." She's a psycho. But, on to fifth hour, which was the most looked-forward to class, World History. It went well, except that teacher, also, was completely amazed by my inability of laughter. Lastly, English II, with Mr. Peters. Fun, He's been teaching for two years at Birch Run, 6 total, and has discovered I write... "what kinda stories?" "...fantasy, and rp." "Rp?" "Role-playing." "Oh...right. Okay." And then a lovely twenty minute walk home with no shade for a half a mile in all black. Black shoes, socks, shirt, pants and dark chocolate brown hair.

   ...Teacher's seem to get a kick out of my lacking humor and laughter thing. ...Whatever. ><; Well. I ahve to get to bed. Bye.

    (...Whatever. All I'm here to do is complete school, and then-- successfully-- life.),
      Squall.

   Okay. I am going to share my beliefs on family. Joy.
   Ah, family. A childish belief that is completely unnecessary. I think Humanity can get on a lot better if they did not have family. But, of course, that would be different, wouldn't it?
  I hate my family. My mother, overly-kind, set in her ways, and a bitch if she doesn't get her way. She refuses to belief that she faults. She claims she'll admit when she's wrong, but that is a lie. She won't say it-- ever. She pisses me off with her occasional, "honey, I am always here for you. You can never get rid of me" thing. Well, mom, ever think I want you to go away? Hell, I don't care if you die or whatever, it's of no consequence to me. She annoy's me to no end.
  Alright, on to My step-dad. Bastard. I want to kill him with my own sword and revel in the sight of his blood. No, I'm not insane, i jsut hate his "I am man of the house, you must obey me" act. Fuck that, Mr. Davey. As far as I am concerned about you, you're a pathetic exsistance and I will be as cheerful as I ever get when you're dead and gone.
  My Sister. She's okay. But she's an idiot. She smokes. Cuts her wrist. Please, Sam, suceed sometime so you'll see little sister won't always be there to call 911. That's what I do. She's passes out from alcohol at some point and here I am, glaring down at her pathetic, dry-vomiting form, cursing her stupidity. Well, I walk inside, as leisurly as time will allow, and call 911.

911: Hello, this is 911, emergency?
Squall: *monotone* ...My sister has taken too much alcohol and is laying on the front yard, dry-heaving.
911: Okay, ma'am, just stay calm. Can you get her to sit up or stand?
Squall: ...not really.
911: Alright. Where do you live?
Squall: *gives her address, still emotionless* ... *sighs*
911: alright, thank you. We'll have an ambulance over immediatly.
Squall: ...whatever. Bye.

   ><; Idiot. She was okay, though they accused me. "Why weren't you scared for her?" ..."They told me to stay calm." Then they tell me I ahve mental issues. BITE. ME. ><
   The rest of my family can wait til later, because I have to be off by Midnight. It's 11:49 now. Sam's home. I'll talk later about my Dad. Bye.

   Wow, that was a quick mood swing. Whatever. *feeling like herself now*

I've lied... to you...
the same was that I always do.
This is...the last smile...
that I'll fake for the sake of being with you.
Everything falls apart,
even the people that never frown eventually break down...
The sacrafice of hiding in a lie...
Everything has to end at some time,
we're outta time to watch it all unwind.
The sacrafice is never knowing...
Why I never walked away...
Why I played myself this way...
Now I see... you're testing me.
Pushes me away.
Why I never walked away...
Why I played myself this way...
Now I see... you're testing me...
Pushes me away!
I've tried...like you...
to do everything you wanted to.
This is... the last time.
I'll take the blame for the sake being with you.
Everything falls apart,
even the people that never frown eventually break down...
The sacrafice of hiding in a lie...
Everything has to end at some time,
we're outta time to watch it all unwind.
The sacrafice is never knowing...
Why I never walked away...
Why I played myself this way...
Now I see... you're testing me.
Pushes me away.
Why I never walked away...
Why I played myself this way...
Now I see... you're testing me...
Pushes me away!
//We're all outta time... This is how we find how it all unwinds...\\
The sacrafice of hiding in a lie...
//We're all outta time... This is how we find how it all unwinds...\\
The sacrafice is never knowing...
Why I never walked away...
Why I played myself this way...
Now I see... you're testing me.
Pushes me away.
Why I never walked away...
Why I played myself this way...
Now I see... you're testing me...
Pushes me away!

   ...yes! I finally fixed my computer. No one cares, and the most emotional response I got was Seifer's "o.o; cool, I guess". It doesn't really matter, so whatever. *shrugs* oh well. No one cares. What's new? Panno signed off without saying a word, but she may have got kicked or something. There's not much more to do now, I guess. I think I'll go read, but before I do that I'll wait a little longer for Panno. Wodner what happened to her..? Well, whatever. Bye.

   ...><; *slighly annoyed* well, that was... annoying. Not really, but kinda. Cause what happened was panno and I decided to continue at 7:30. Well, we do for like a a half hour. we get... not far. She's gotta do her school work though, so I shouldn't complain.

   ...Well, joy of joys. I try to be nice and the human definition of 'normal' and look what happens... my entire update gets trashed. Fuck. And here I was spilling my heart to you guys. Too bad. It was very deep, I'm not joking. I wasn't holding back. If you're mad, which I highly doubt, blame Kris. And her stupid site thing.
  ... My birthday is tomorrow. Fuck. I hate parties. I don't want mom to bring the whole family from within Michigan jsut because I'll be fifteen. So what? Big deal. Most of the world will or has already done this.

   ...Well. I woke up at 9 AM after going to bed at 5 AM. left at 10:30 AM to go to breakfast, then to see triple X (xXx) and then to the store. There's not much to really do or say, so I'm going to go sleep. Bye.

   ...Back. Again. I'm bored. I've made lots of fun things, though. Many appear to have blood dripping through them. *shrugs* whatever. Oh, and I sliced my leg wide open. Panno was worried for me. *half smile* thanks. It seems pretty deep, I should probably get stitches, but who has the time? Or really cares..? I think I might go read... but this leg is kinda bothering me. I quick swished it under some cold water to help it clot, and then tore up an old shirt to use as a make-shift bandage. I don't have any gauze or tape, so I can't fix it properly. I'll prolly put some butterfly stitches on it. Anyways...
   ...whatever. I'm bored. I know I should get some sleep, but I don't have any pain-killers. Shit. But I hate being fussed over. *sighs* oh well. I guess I burn that brige when I get there, ne?
   Know what Squall did today? Entertained company. Jeff, Irv's boyfriend, came over and it was left to me to amuse him. This consisted of falling and scraping my knee to the point where it dripped blood.

(I didn't think it was funny, however...)
(You don't think anything's funny!)
(Fuck you.)

   Anyways... and showing him every trick my dog can do. Which there are many. But, in any case, here I am again, typing my thoughts.
   Well, would anyone like to hear how Squall feels about love? Well, too bad. You're going to anyways. I think love is a silly emotion, but like stupidity, everyone is susceptible. I don't care much for love, mainly because I don't think I could be comfortable in a relationship. Things like kissing, sex, hugging, and all that other emotional shit acquainted with devoting one's heart is just weird. Not my thing. Sure, I have a crush. I mean, come on, he's the best-looking guy in school, a total sweetheart, and very smart. And he enjoys the same books I do, is competitive and a rouse of other things. Everything I'd hope for in a guy. But, you see, I don't want to be anything more than a friend. Everything else is weird to me.
   And marriage? Forget that. I don't wanna. No one-night stands or anything like that. Nothing for the sort. I will more than likely be a virgin still when I die, and that suits me fine. In fact, I'd enjoy that. I don't want kids, I can go harass my allies for those, as I'm sure at least one of them will have one or two. One of the allies with the basic dream; make lots of money, support themselves and have a family. *scoff* Let them dream what they will.

(At least they have a dream...)
(Fuck you. Shut up.)
(and a plan.)
(...)

   Well, maybe I'll go do something else. I've banned myself from talking about Seifer and Squall, reading SxS fics, or playing FF8 so I won't badger panno about continuing. I still need to name that alter-ego...

    (...plan...who needs one? I'll figure that out when I'm there...won't I?),
      Squall.

   ...Whatever. I finally fixed everything and got it into place. Yes, I was bored. Panno's on, but doesn't want to continue the story.
    I guess I have been making some shitty updates. I haven't really wrote what's going on it the head of Squall Leonhart. Sorry.
   So, let's start now. Firstly, I doubt updates will be cut back on, considering I need to go to school soon. In... three days. I guess I'm glad. I need something to do all day. Though I'm enjoying reading my books...
   Most people think of me as quiet now. I'm so confused. I don't talk, no, not often, but I think a lot. So am I quiet or loud? ...Whatever. I guess that doesn't really matter. Here's my schedule, for those of you that go to my school:

1^st Hour- Geometry with Schiepek.
2^nd Hour- Civics with Howlett.
3^rd Hour- Spanish I with Masten.
4^th Hour- Biology with Letter(?).
5^th Hour- World History with ?.
6^th Hour- English II with Peters.

   ><; My mom and step-dad are fighting again. About something stupid. It doesn't really matter, I suppose. If they want to waste their time and energy-- let them. Mom's sleeping on the couch which means I probably won't be-- oh, wait, they stopped. ><; Damn indescive children. Anyways.
   I don't suppose I'll slack this year. I won't, as a matter of fact. I need to pass and get good grades. It's not that hard reall, if I just apply myself.
   I guess that's all. It's 11:26 at night. Bye.

   ...Okay... I changed the title color to white. I don't know. And I added one of the things that alter-ego whispers at night...

(Sweet Darkness, Hold Me...)

   And speaking of her, she doesn't have a name. What do you think? E-mail me and let me know what you think.

   ...Alright, if I'm not too lazy, I will fix all the old updates and convert them to this pretty layout. ><; fuck. Anyways. Whatever. I have company (no by choice, mind...). See you later.

   ...Oh...My Lady. I can't feel my butt. Well, I ended up doing it anyway. Go me. anyways. I'm tired. Night.

    (...),
      Squall.

   ...>< Lady preserve me. Anyways... I get a little annoyed with HTMl. I was going to change the layout but... erm. Got to irked to finsih, thus dropping it.

    (...),
      Squall.