...God. She got on and got back off. Oh my God.

   ...GOD DAMMIT!!! SHE'S STILL NOT ON! DOES SHE HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THIS IRKS MY MIND!? >< ...oh well. She'll be on eventually. I hope. I tried to get hani to call her, but she doesn't know where the number went. God.

   ...Anyways... now that I'm about to pass out from cleaning fumes. >< Cheryl just had me clean house. It smelled terrible. e.e My right hand is all sore from the chemicals.

[Cheryl] I told you to wear gloves.
[Squall] ...*shrugs* I'll live.

   ...Anyways. I'm still waiting for Panno. Dammit! Why can't she just get on line..? >< Sorry. Actually, no I'm not. ...Whatever. I'll talk to you all later, cause I got out of having to go shopping. ^^ Go me. ...Bye.

   ...I just read J's journal... but I don't have the heart to tell that I don't think those beautiful belief's will hold... My mom was like that, all giving and an I-love-everyone person... She snapped at 38... *sighs* It was my fault. I still remember the fight.



[Mom] Rachel, you're 12. Why are you so worried about life?

[Squall] Idiot! You don't think! Are you so certain that everyone in life will be ready to say, "Hey, I'm sorry, I was wrong"..? That's stupid! No one will be that pathetic!

[Mom] Why do you think everything's a cometiton?

[Squall] ...*sighs* this isn't twenty questions. I don't think life's a competition. Everyone eles does. And the few that don't, hold high, foolish belief's like yours, who will only leave the crestfallen and hurt. *turns to leave*

[Mom] Rachel, your only 12. How can you be so bitter to the world already..?

[Squall] *without looking back to her* I've prepared early. I sure as HELL don't know who I am or waht I'm doing here, other than a mistake of you and dad, but apart from that, I'm just ready early.

[Mom] *crying* My children were supposed to have a high future, to enjoy life and go for it. What happene--

[Squall] *interupting* That's your fault isn't it? For these foolish beliefs. This my example. *walks off, leaving mom crying*



   (...but I wish you the world with those beliefs, Jami. God knows we have to few pacifist.)

   ...Ugh. I'm tired. but I had lots of fun last night... Panno andI did a RP and it turned out great. I woke my arse up at 8 AM just to wait for her to get on, so we can continue it. I'm Squall (...duh.), she's Seifer (and good at it too...). My side character's Zell (easy enough. Hell, I used to live him.) and hers is Selphie. She usually plays Quistis too, but we both do that (I did a whole line of Quistis *loud roar of unimpressed "Oooo's"* ><'). When Jami's there, she's Irvine and Quistis. Quistis as her main, Irv as her side. She's doin' good for someone who's never played FF8. With a little confusing help from idiots, panno and I. *shrug* We try to help. It just never really... helps, I guess.    ... Dad's at motorcycle class, Cheryl'll be home. I can't wait till monday!! I'll be home and able to site online al~l day~y... *is excited by that fact* Fuck, all week. ^^ Alright, I guess that's all... oh wait. My dad's taking motorcycle classes and plans on getting me to ride with him. I told him a flat out no. >< I hate motorcycles. Loud, small and really, really fast. Not my thing...

    Well, bye (...I guess.),
      Squall.

   ...Hey, I was going to put music on here, but decided no. I have to go really soon. >< I don't feel like it. I want to take my air conditioner... But it's no big deal. Anyways... I guess I'll be online more often. *wishes Irv was online* well, g2g, bye.

   ...Hey all. I'm leaving soon...>< ugh, Sefier can piss me off so much! I don't know why she irks me so much, she just does. Her 'I'm high and mighty how dare you oppose me' attitude just gets under my skin... Oh well. It's no big deal... I'm really glad I found my FF9 game though. It was pissing me off. I had to start over because I couldn't recall where I was...

   ...There's something wrong with my printer... Oh well. Hey, I'm asking this nicely. I write poetry, tell me if you wanna hear some. Lemme know. Mail me. Guess my update time's gonna cut down a little because I found my Final Fantasy 9 game. Zidane's cool. Oh, I wrote a poem for Staci, I'm going to use it as a teaser for my other poetry. Here it is. Oh, and Chris? I wouldn't read it, were I you... Anyways, to the poem...

   ...What...the fuck. Chris just called. I'm bonding with panno. See ya'll later. ...>< bye.

    (...),
      Kel.

   ...I talked to Patrick today on AIM. He goes to my school. Guess what Squall did? Yeah, she slipped back to the old persona. Dammit... Oh well, it'll be easier to do in real life.    ...I just realized why I talk so much here. It's because this is what I think. ...My mind's always noisy. So it makes sense... (I guess...) I'm waiting for Irv to get her ass online so I can propose the idea of a Final Fantasy RPG to her. For you who are ignorant of it, an RPG-online is a story wrote by two or more people. I'm going to go invent a Final Fantasy 8 site. Bye.

   ...Hi. Again. Mom wants to take me to Saginaw fair tomorrow. 'Course since she's just pissing me off lately, I might not go. And we're taking my favorite person in the entire world- Ron, my step-dad. *slight sarcasm* I hate him. I want him to die painfully. At my hand too. *smirks* I am not violent! I told you not to entertain the thought..! Anyways... I probably won't go anyways. Just because I love to spite her... I guess I'll go. Oh, and apparently, we're going to the Children's Zoo tomorrow morning, but no beloved step-father this time. Damn, curse the luck. ...what the fuck am I going to do at a children's zoo..?
    ...Anyways. She bought another Disney movie; Tarzan and Jane. What a waste of her money.*sighs* Idiot. Anyways. I guess that's all. I'll let Irv have the computer now so she can bug you people. Bye. Seriously. Go away.

   ...I just watched the sunrise. The fucking sun. Do you have any idea how fucking tired I am..? I haven't slept in exactly 28 hours, 22 minutes and some odd seconds. I'm fucking brain-dead. Sure, while the rest of my family sleeps in the joyous bliss of peaceful dreams, what's Squall doing..? Updating her fucking journal, because everytime she closes her fucking eyes, she starts pondering the fate of the fucking universe... ...God, I love my exsistance. Really, I do. ...Anyways, apart from swearing at the oblivious readers... I'm up for another day then, unless my brain comes with an off switch, which (out of Gods' cruel irony) I find I lack. But, at least I have provided myself with books. God, I need some sort of fucking entertainment...    ...As of right now I'm reading the Dark Elf Triliogy, by R. A. Salvatore; containing the books titled Homeland, Exile and Sojourn. I'm on Exile and so far, it's a great series. I like Drizzt, but refuse to believe that's him on the cover. That's too fucking ugly for my mind's eye. I'll picture something better, thanks... Anyways, elves aside, I don't intend on doing anything other than reading today. I was scheduled to watch a movie with my mom *scoff* (...Bonding... How disgusting) but I got into a fight at 6 AM and well...that plan's toast. Not that I'm complaining. One of my luckier moves, if you ask me. Maybe I'll ask Irvine to come over and we'll spar. Or I could go over to her house. Or I could just read... or I could work on my new language, studying it so I could recognize words on instinct, rather than impulse...    *sighs* Leeta is so disgusting. While she sleeps, she rolls over and farts, snorting and oinking all the way. She disgusts me. I would love nothing more to slaughter her, watch her blood- and her life- slip from her grasp, as she frantically tries to pull my sword from her bloated gut. *smirks malevolently* Me, violent..? Nah, never entertained the idea. Anyways, I think I've talked enough for eight fucking days instead of just one morning, so I'm going to bed now. Since I don't have any high aspirations for the day, I can just go sleep and everyone else can fuck themselves for all I care. Don't mess with a tired, pissed and over-all annoyed Squall. It's not a good thing... Bye.

   ...I got really bored, so here I am. ...Actually, I'm not bored. I'm perfectly content with sitting and reading.

   (...So why am I here..?)
(Yes, why are you here..? Is it because that book made you ponder your own useless exsistance once more and you came to complain..?)
   (...you...can shut the fuck up.)

   ...Anyways. I invented my own language. Yeah, shut the fuck up, I got really bored, okay? I'm going to teach it to Irvine and Jami. Maybe Panno. If she wants... It's easy enough, but I won't write it here. ...well, that's about it. bye.

    (...),
      Kel.

   ...I hate her. A lot. ... My step-grandma lives with us... And I hate her. She just pisses me off. I try to get it through to her. I am not her's or anyone's friend. Get the Fuck away from me. She's an absolute slob. A fucking pig..! *sighs* oh well... Laws won't let me kill her, so I'll just be as ingnoring as I know I can be. Hey, if I ever feel the need to slip back to my old mask, I'll just think of her and poof! I am me. ...Anyways. Back to things that matter. I'm not really doing anything today, but my guinea pig's cage broke, so mom bought a new one. I'm going to go read now. And I ahve to update for Irvine. She can't come down today, so she called and told me what to write. It's not much...

    (...),
      Kel.

   ...Fuck. I'm tired. I spent the night at Irvine's last night. But I came home at 6:32 AM just so i could say bye. I didn't sleep. At all. ...3 AM and I was still watching T.V. ><' Damned insomnia. Oh well. That let me get home on time... Bye.

    (...),
      Kel.

   ...alright, no real updates, I'm just a bit too bored. ...I've been online a whole three minutes and no dissection attempts... (how...nice.) Anyways... I'm home now though, and--

Irvine~ DON'T FORGET TO TELL THEM ABOUT WANDERING AROUND IN THE THUNDERSTORM!!

   ...oh yeah. I walked home through a torrential thunderstorm, with my good buddy Irvine, who was kind enough to brave the storm... I got completely drenched. (But it was fun.)

Irvine~THE ONLY THING THAT GOT WET ON ME WAS MY SHIRT!

   ...yeah, dumbass. Miss I'll-wear-a-poncho!! ><; Anyways... Irvine will be getting a journal on here if I can confirm it with Jami-saa. And Panno... *was pissed off at panno* ...(for just leaving and not saying anything... ><) *isn't anymore* Well... Bye.

   ...ugh, Chris, you're annoying me.

Chris says:
what's up?

Kel says:
...nothing. Just... bored.

Chris says:
why?

Kel says:
because I can be... (I can just be something and you don't have to fucking dissect it..!)

Chris says:
ah

Chris says:
you dont' honestly WANT to be bored, do you?

Kel says:
...whatever.

   ...You can get really annoying. *sighs* anyways. I'm going home for a week, and then I'm back up at my dad's. Get the feeling I like it better up here..? I do. ...Anyways, nothing else going on. I'm not going on my mom's vacation 'cause I'm sick of camping(...she camps every fucking year!)...My mom pisses me off some times, alright, most times... alright, (refering a little to Evening: 8:59 PM, Entry Eleven.) I tell my mom my whole personality thing (...on the eleventh entry...)and what does she do today..? I'm in the car with Ron (unfortunatly...) and Irvine and my mom, going to the movies. Irvine and I were idily chatting about stuff like guns and weapons (...which is no big deal, we do that a lot...)and right in the middle of the converse, mom's like "why aren't you more like yourself?" ...I pause and glare at her for a second before stating as icily as I could,"We already discussed this." and she tries to 'glare' back and says innocently,"Discussed what?". I sigh, roll my eyes, and keep talking to Irvine.(Dumbass mother of mine...) She 'glares' little longer before turning around to Ron and comenting on my "ice bitch qualities"... You know what, mom..? You can fucking bite me. I don't really give a damn about what you or anyone else thinks. *sighs* Idiot...

(I love her...really, I really love her...)
(really..?)
(...No.)

   ...Not much more to say, so bye. I'll update as I go... Bye.

    (...what the fuck do you people want..?),
      Kel.

   ...Oh. I forgot to put so earlier (...because I added it after I updated)but I have a link page now, you can see the button for it at the bottom, with the other buttons... Woke up at 5:06 AM this morning. e.e A little tiring, considering I went to bed at 2:30 AM... Chris asked, 'Do you ever get any sleep?', I answered, 'sure... About an hour or so...' But it's enough, I can run the whole day like that. Of course, when school come, I'm in bed by 10:30 PM so I can get up at 5:30 AM with my 7 hours of sleep. I have to get up two hours and a half earlier than my scheduled bus-time (7:00 PM) because I need time to think and wander around, attempting to get my wits together. *Is not a morning person* And that takes an hour, (1/2 for wit-gathering, 1/2 for thinking...) next, I get ready (15 minutes...) and then finishing Homework that was uncompleted(...15 more minutes)... Anyways, school starts again on August 25^th. ...I'll be a sophomore. Lucky me... Well, bye.

   ...Fuck. My head is pounding. Damn demolition derby... We got back an hour ago, I just worked up the energy to come type. Some Cowboy Bebop Marathon on tonight... I'm so bored. Anyways... Tomorrow, I am home. Then monday, I go to my mom's. Then, on Saturday, I come back up to my Dad's... Bye. Sleep is a necessity...

(...sometimes.)

    (...Fuck.),
      Kel.

   ...I'm tired. And full of thoughts. Well. You know how I'm Squall-like..? This is great. My best friend, the one I talked about in the old entries (Zea). For FF8 fans, she is Seifer to my Squall-ness. (...Those aren't words... Squall-ness..? Dumbass.) She's my best friend, rival and the only one who can PISS ME OFF completely. My friend, newly called Irvine, convinced me of this.

(Fuck, she's right.)
(Always is, isn't she?)
(Fuck you, random voice.)

  ... Anyways. I thought: (Fuck, that makes sense.) and then: (Fuck, we're reincarnates...or something like it... of video-games freaks. Go us.). how...fun. See ya later. Bye.

  named my necklace... Chris did it for me... See Bloodlust. (It loads too long... Oh well, everyone'll live... except Seifer, with her patience of a two-year-old. *small smirk*)

    (...Great...now she's gonna use this to her advantage.),
      Kel.