Rath's Journal... Version 8.0: feat. "Jack Skellington"

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I do not expect to be held responsible for my words in here. This is a journal, so if you wish to confront me on anything said in here, give up. I'll sic my Yami on you. u.u; I do wish some amount of privacy, even if it's web-journal. I'll talk about innermost things here, things I won't and would NEVER say in real life. I refuse to be held responsible for anything as a result of my journal.

11.15.2003 | Saturday

Begin | 21:24
End | 22:02
^^ Glorifying my out-of-state bud! Coz she's �BER ham sandwich like that.

  Okay, yeah. First off... HOW FRICKING HAM SANDWICH AM I?! I OWN BOOK 10, AND YOU ALL (except Kaiya-chan, because she's special ^_^ ) THAT DON'T OWN IT--- SUCK!!! X3

   Anyways. Now that that's done with. I'm pretty good now, and I suppose that has been sort of rare lately. But that's only because of the rough week-- and believe me. It has been rough. But it's done with now and I've got my usual manga fixation. ^_^ Cause I rock like that. And you SUCK (unless you're Kaiya-chan, then you're like, the best thing since sex) coz you ... don't have it. Ha.

  ANYWAYS. I also bought Gravitation vol. 2 and now i'm really tired, and I think I'm getting sick again. *yawn* but like bloody hell I'm moving until Kaiya-chan goes to bed. Coz she's ham sandwich, and owns my soul. And you-who-are-not-Kaiya-chan SUCK!

  And yeah. I spent a good deal of my morning on Gaia, and watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and it was cute, and funny, and scary and all that stuff. It was great. I did make a story, but dolt that I am, forgot to save it, and definently didn't save it. I'll have to see if Kaiya-chan has it later. Coz she's snarky, and all nifty like that.

  Oh, and as to what's with the Ham Sandwich thing? It's Marci's word, and it means cool-- she bid I spread it. SO, if you decide that you wish to help spread the wordness, do so in the name of Marci. DO IT NOW, DAMNIT! right. Anyways, now that I won't be maimed for taking her word, let's continue.

  Yeah I found out a secret about a friend, and I'm so glad she told me, cause it makes me feel all special like. And that's snarky, because I like to feel special. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Apparently she was really worried about it, but that's bullshit, cause there's no need to worry about stuff like that.

  And you have no idea what I'm talking about. Because you SUCK. But I bet Kaiya-chan knows, coz she's better than you. Ha. Eat THAT, you loser. And right. I like, completely adore her. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have lots of friends. And I don't want to dis any of you. Love you all. But I just want it to be known here and now that Kaiya-chan is my best friend and I just want her to know that. And if you have issues with that, take it up with me. Don't give me that shit though if I don't know you that well, or if we've grown apart. Marci and I know we're not best friends anymore. And I don't talk to anyone as much as I talk to Kaiya-chan. I adore my friends, but I'm closest to her. I'm getting real frickin' sick of having to say, "Well, I mean, you're my friend too, and I don't mean that I like her more.." and having to stutter through a thousand BLOODY explanations to account for you guys. You frickin' KNOW you're my friend, CONTENT yourself with that. If you're going to frickin' bitch, whine and moan about it, then SCREW IT. I've got a lot of shit to do, and a good friend shouldn't put another person through bullshit like that. Kaiya is my frickin' best friend, got it?! GOOD.

  God. Glad I got that done with. I don't think I really have anything else important to say.

KAIYA IS THE MOST FRICKIN' HAM SANDWICH PERSON ALIVE -OR- DEAD.

Rath

11.12.2003 | Wednesday

Third Hour | 10:40
Reply

Whoa, that provoked an update. It's third hour and I'm at school, and yeah. I jsut read Kaiya-chan's journal. In response:

Kaiya-chan, I know you don't ask me to promise that stuff. Well, except for one thing, and that's probably the one I'm most ... I don't know the wording, 'anxious' about? I don't really know what to say, I can't really explain it and I don't feel like saying those things in here. People would think I'm depressed or something O.o How can I be?? o.o Wait. I know. THOSE BASTARDS HAVEN'T GOTTEN FRICKIN' BOOK TEN OUT YET!!! x.x THAT'S how I can be angsty. I just want my manga. ;; It's all I ask for. No real update today, just saying I know I don't have to promise her things, and yeah. I just do it... for hell if I know why. Have to. Want to.

Rath

11.11.2003 | Tuesday

Evening | 19:10
*GROAN!*

That two-day grace period where I can claim that I've slacked off, I'm tired, I forgot to update, ect. has passed and now I must update. Which I don't really mind, I've just got a bad headache and all of the HTML/CSS is glaring at me. ~.~ Oh well. I'm really, really tired. But I'm not saying anything. Because if I say something, that means I'll have to sleep. And God knows I love her, but... I don't know if I can take all the friggin' promises I make. I should know better than to make them, but then, she's just... so frickin' abused, I can't help but try to be the one person who won't fuck up and screw her over. I don't know why. She's my best friend. And so, I want to try my hardest to do what she wants of me. But I feel some weird need to be so fscking honest with her, it's almost creepy. I don't care-- at all-- on almost all days, but some days when I think, I guess it does bug me just a little. But not about her-- God, no. She's my best friend, I love her like a sister. It's me. Always me...

Rath

11.09.2003 | Sunday

Late Evening | 22:04
Ooh, shiny! new calculator!

  Well, I'm home again. Happy -freaking- joy. ~.~ it's no big deal. There hasn't been any yelling yet, and I missed my computer and it's nicely beaten-into-submission keyboard. *huggles it* *yawn* But damn I've been tired. Ever since that family thing. Famil functions always bore me. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, Sara and I just sat in her room most of the time, talking and playing with fire and listening to music. Which is what i'm doing now. ^_^ Fire is fun stuff. *yawns again* o.~ Damn. Tired.

  Well, came home and noted that I got a new graphing calculator, seeing as the old one broke. No idea how that happened. Oops. *shrug* Damn things are expensive though. One hundred dollars. ~.~ I don't think we have that money to spend. Oh well. Shit happens. It probably went out of my earnings, anyways. Big fscking deal. Yes, fscking. New word. Prolly snagged it from Hani, or Ree's muses. I do that.

  Well, dad gave me flowers after we got into a fight. ~.~ I don't really care that much that he yelled at me, I'm just... pathetic, lately. I cried. A lot. And I couldn't stop shaking. That happens a lot lately. I don't really care why. Or know. *yawns* I think I'm getting sick again, and then there's all the family fighting, which really beats down on my mind. I feel kind of bad for Dad feeling so guilty for yelling at me. He thought he made me cry, which is only partly true. It's just, I can't ever bring myself to dispell what they say, because it's all true.

Why bother...?

Rath

11.07.2003 | Friday

Afternoon | 13:44
Ugh... >.< ... ~.~

*sigh* I'm fucking sick of this. Do I just fucking scream scapegoat lately, or what? Whatever. I don't fucking care and I don't feel like fucking talking about it. As always, only one person can ask about it(no intention of hurting the rest of you) and she knows who she is.

Rath

11.05.2003 | Wednesday

Morning, Third Hour | 9:42
BLOODY FUCKING GOD-DAMNED HELL!

Oh. My. FUCKING. BLOODY. GOD. I am so unbelievably pissed off. I want to fucking scream. In fact, I have fucking screamed. Every swear word I know at the top of my lungs. Fought this morning with my mom. She wants to send me to live with my dad, and like I even fucking care. I'm so fucking pissed right now it isn't even funny. Yeah. This morning, I was doing my Chemistry, writing a story with Rath in it. Because I'm easily amused. And yeah. We have to insert 25 chemistry words. Almost fucking done, one more to go, and she's fucknig swearing at me to get my ass out the door. That not only pisses me off, because I'm trying to do my fucking homework, and if she hadn't even fucking started with me, then I would've fucking been done and there shouldn't have been an issue. But whatever. So, yeah, I run out, carrying my combat boots, and toss my stuff in getting in and she's all, "Do you have your Chemistry folder?" in a pissy-ass voice and I reply, equally pissy, "No, it's fine. Let's just fucking go." and yells "GO GET YOUR FUCKING CHEMISTRY FOLDER!" So I go. And I look. And I don't find. Whatever. I came back out and got in the truck, and waited for like twenty fucking seconds, and was like, "are we just going to stare at trees or are we fucking going?" and she doesn't reply, and just backs out. Within five seconds, we're screaming at each other, I told her I hate her, and she said she didn't care, I replied that I didn't care, and then we just basically screamed and swore nonsense back at each other while I repeated that I didn't care what she thought-- or what anyone thought-- she beat down the point that I lie, I'm not worth shit because I have no work ethic and that I will never amount to anything and I won't be able to do shit, and will never make college. You know, I'm tempted to prove her wrong, but why fucking bother. Why -even- bother. I don't even care enough. So yeah. Got to school, and Liz B is all friendly and nice and "^_^ hey, look, it's my white-haired friend, Rachel!" and I'm all "Liz, I'm not in a good mood, I'm fucking pissed off. Please leave me the fuck alnoe for now." and I punched the doors and walked into the school with the lovely words of "GOD-DAMN MOTHER FUCKING ASS-RAPING" at the top of my lungs and some teacher was like "easy, easy!" and I growled and was like, "NO! FUCK EASY! NOTHING'S EVER FUCKING 'EASY'!" and stormed off. Yeah. Fun. Went to turn in my chem, swearing the whole way and Mrs. Licht's all...

Licht: "Rath, Rath, what's wrong?"
Rath: "Wrong? Nothing's ever fucking wrong."
Licht: "Wait, come back *as I'm/Rath's leaving* Hold on, stay here--"
Rath: "Stop trying to be my fucking counselor, I'm fucking fine!"

Cooled down a little in my first hour, spent second hour ranting at people and throwing beans and found out that my graphing calculator is fucked up. Like hell I EVEN fucking care. >< Whatever. I'm fucking out. I have a presentation to do. I'm so fucking pissed. She wants to ground me, too. For three fucknig weeks. Wants me off the computer earlier, and not on in the mornings. I'm so fucking pissed. I'm going to fucknig hurt something. God. I wish I believed in cutting. I do beleive in homicide though. That works good. I think I'll do that. C'mere, *random annoying persons' name*. Anyways. Out.

Rath

11.04.2003 | Tuesday

Morning, Third Hour | 9:44
X3 "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!"

X3 GOD THAT'S FUN STUFF! ^_^ I dyed part of my hair white/plat. blond and XD It just cracks me up. I thought everyone would hate it, and I didn't give a fuck if the did, and it turns out lots of people love it. ^o^ I'm having so much fun though, because I get the occasional "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!" response, which sends me into a fit of giggles. ^__^ I'm entertained. Immensely. Anyways, there's not much to really say, other than that, and I'll try to get you guys a picture soon. n.n

Rath

11.01.2003 | Saturday

Afternoon | 15:04
~.~ 'Could the world stop spinning?'

  Hee, still listening to "This is Halloween" and I finally got the new layout up, if a day late. It's alright-- It stays until the end of November, when I'll do something else, probably for Christmas.

   well, let's see what's on the agenda for today... I had originally intended, of course, to get the new layout up, and then I did that, then I was intent on RPing with Kaiya-chan. Now I suppose I need to do something else.. oh, that's because she went out with a friend just a nidge ago from when I'm writing this. Stupid automatic guilting actions. I can be so fucking childish. That irritates me. ANYWAYS.

  Now I'll prolly go work on setting up the RP at Amnesia-- I've got a lot of work to do. I think I'm okay, but I think I might be getting angsty, because I usually do after I irritate myself because of something I've done. Hm.

Rath

10.31.2003 | Friday

Early morning | 23:58
Er. . . ANYWAYS!

  Er, yes. Anyways. Better update now. ^^;; Listening to "Like a Prayer" again, while at Sage's house. ^^; Sorry about that, I was really hyper. ^_^ I went trick-or-treating! Yay for me! And I might get to see Jami tomorrow! ^o^ n.n but yeah. Let's see if I can detail today for you...

  Went ta school, got obsessed with "This is Halloween" (and now getting the urge to listen to it again O.o; ) and stuff during third hour. ^^ Then, I went to lunch, and saw Manderz wings, which tempted me to get them, and so I went out of the school, and called mama, who bought them for me. Demo... they were a cheap, crappy pair, not like manderz, but it's okay, cause we fixed 'em. XD; Rath style, lol. Yay for masking tape! Er, packing tape, or whatever. CLEAR DUCT TAPE! X3

  n.n day was fun and normal and stuff. THEN... I went to Cadet Teaching and yeah. XDDD Little kids are so CUTE! n.n I got lots of candy, and it was fun. n.n then I got to go trick-or-treating with Sage-chan, and got lots more candy!And yeah, I dressed up like Rath/Y�kai... and it was DAMN FUN! ^o^ anyways, lates, minna!! Oh,and it's actually 3:45, demo... n.n; I'm lazy.

Third Hour, again | 10:39
This is halloween everybody make a scream

Hey. You. YES YOU. Go out right now and download the midi file, preferably the MP3 of "This is Halloween," from The Nightmare before Christmas. DO IT NOW.

Rath

P.s. The background for this journal is Tim Burton's "Jack Skellington," the lyrics are from "This is Halloween," both from "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and I don't own ANY of that. HOWEVER; I made the background, so touch it without my permission (o.O If you ask, I'll freely alter the image for you, even) and you will be smote.