Sin's Journal... Version 6.0: Rath Illuser

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I do not expect to be held responsible for my words in here. This is a journal, so if you wish to confront me on anything said in here, give up. I'll sic my Yami on you. u.u; I do wish some amount of privacy, even if it's web-journal. I'll talk about innermost things here, things I won't and would NEVER say in real life. I refuse to be held responsible for anything as a result of my journal.
P.s. The Background is Rath Illuser from Mineko Ohkami's "Dragon Knights". Snatched it from this nifty place called Dragon Knights Sanctuary. Go, check it out!

08.30.2003 | Saturday

Afternoon | 13:50
*~.Update pending.~*

.............

~.~,
Sin

08.27.2003 | Wednesday

Early Morning | 6:08
"Deep sleep dreaming," huh? I can go with that. Minus the dreams, of course.

*yawn* Finished yesterday's update, prolly gonna go put a book cover on my Lit. III book, and take another half hour nap, because I'm TIRED and Jami's not on, and I know she'd tell me ta go, so go I will.

~.~,
Sin

08.26.2003 | Tuesday

Early Morning | 6:24
I've woken now... To find myself..
In the shadows of all I've created.
I'm longing to.. get lost in you..
Away from the place I've made...
Won't you take me away from me?

  Mrr... The first day back wasn't as hard or terrible as I made it sound. I just like to complain about stuff like that. I could try to give you a general run down, but I dunno how long'd that-- ah, hell, I'll do it after school if it takes that long.

First Hour: Algebra II, Mrs. Lebsack.
  Not too bad, but then again, I've no idea what our teacher is really like, because she just had a kid, so she's out on Maternity leave, or whatever. Our sub is really nice, quiet and polite. She seems like fun, but really young. Which doesn't bother me at all. Not much happened-- I sit next to Tori and no one, and I have Marci, Tori, Joe, Carli, Cory, and Andy R. in that class, and that's about it for people I know/have known.

Second hour: Chemistry, Mrs. Licht/Light.
  Easy enough so far, but also snagged us an evil assignment (Not so hard as I said, but still. Who the hell's even HEARD of those scientists?? >> other than lil kris, lol), but she's really nice, so far as I know. (^o^ Calls me Rath)

Third hour: Geog. of Michigan, Mr. Birkmeier.
  (*yawn* Okay, finishing this from yesterday..)
  This class is HILARIOUS. We have SO much fun, and we laugh so freaking much, it's just great. ^^ I don't know why we're laughing about 80% of the time, but hell, it's still fun. (^o^ Calls me Rath)

Lunch hour.
  o.O I have first lunch, which Mandy V., Jessica A., Inu-Chan, Jackie W., Joe K., Phil-sama, Mallory-dono... and some more peoples. n.n Not too bad over all. Hot food and friends? Woot.

Fourth hour: Literature III/American Literature, Mrs. Oeming.
  Well, the lady's nice enough, if forgetful. ^^ No much to really do, but we've got a test later today (Wed. 08/27) and were assigned to read the chapter and take notes. ~.~ I'm working the notes now, and will again at lunch? o.O Food? Who has time for food? O.o o.O What is the concept... this... "food"?(^o^ Calls me Rath)

Fifth hour: American History, Mr. Johnson.
  I've had the guy for World History, and even if he is strict and his homework's fucking bloody hell, it's no big deal. ~.~ Because it's a remembered schedule, so it's easier to fall into place.

Sixth hour: Cadet Teaching, Staff.
  For the first two days (Mon. 08/25 and Tues. 08/26) we just sat in the counseling office, because we're not assigned yet, but we should be assigned today. o.O A Cadet Teacher goes over to the elementry and helps the kids and the teacher.

   Well, not much more to say, because this is really today's (08/27) update a~and I'mma go do that now.

meh,
Sin

08.25.2003 | Monday

Early Morning | 5:47
I linger in the doorway..
Of alarm clock screaming monsters, calling my name..

  ~.~ Oh GOD. It's early. I remember doing all this shit. x.x At least I already know this years going be rough. But I don't really mind helping Rachelle (senior, Her bf (senior), Thatz (junior), and Tori (junior) with American History, because I'm one of the only two juniors that have experience with Mr. Johnson-- because I took World History as a sophomore-- and, it's a few junior's, mainly senior's class. They're not really sure what to expect, and Johnson's reports are killer's (miss one and you fail that semester o.O) and his notes are continuous.
  ...Ugh. Just wanna sleep. I'm awake, sure. ...I went to bed early, of course. x.x But I didn't fall asleep until what, 3:00? And then I woke up at 5:00 and kept waking up. Stupid sleep. Stupid body that needs it. u.u; ANYWHO.
  So yeah... No real update today, it's already too mind-numbing to think of what to type. x.x;; Mer. Stupid ... school-like thingy. I really do hate the stupid thing, but I guess I don't mind it that mu--- o.o n.n Yami typed me a note! *bounce away to get it*

^^ Hearts, from Hell,
Sin

08.22.2003 | Thursday

Semi-early Morning | 9.04
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming...
Cannot cease for fear of silent nights..
Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming..
The Goddess of imaginary Light.

*Again, Yawn* ~.~ At least I feel relaxed. And cold. God, never thought I'd say it, but I'm so fucking HAPPY to feel frigidly, toe-numbing, cold. Still tired, had a rough schedule, but (AGAIN! FOR THE SAKE OF JAMI!) I grabbed all the sleep I can today. Here, so I'm not pestered about the schedule, btw, it's in military time, like the journal entry so just 2:00 is 2 am, and anything like 13:00 is 1 pm. 12:00 is 12 noon (pm), and 0:00 would be 12 midnight (am) Got it? Good. Here:

Bed: 2:00 (was supposed to get up)

Woke: 3:00

Worked until: 5:30

Back to sleep until: 6:00

And I just couldn't sleep anymore. ~.~ I'm still tired now, but it'll be okay. Mainly because it has to be okay. Ugh. I've got too much stuff to do to, so there's no real choice. *shrugs*
A~and, I get to go shopping today. Which is cool, but not cool, because I'm all PMS-y and that'll suck for trying on jeans (which I hate doing anyways) and for wandering around the mall. ~.~ VERY FUCKING IRRITATING. u.u; I said we should've just gone yesterday. Anyways... I'mma just go, because I'm tired, and bitchy. And I've got to stuff episode 30 of Rurouni Kenshin into my head before I can happily stagger off to the mall. ><' no, I don't like Birch Run's mall. It SUCKS. u.u; Adore Birch run, the schools, the people. But the mall? Hiss. I'm a loyal suncoast fan. They get a suncoast, then we'll talk about spending my cash there.

Don't forget, we've got hell monday!
Sin

08.21.2003 | Thursday

Afternoon | 12.29
My wounds cry for the grave.
My soul cries... For deliverance.
Will I be.. denied? Christ! Tourniquet! My Suicide.

  *yawn* Ugh. I feel so rushed... I can't believe school starts next week, monday. I can't even count right now, I'm so tired. But according to my SubProfile, there's only four days left, including today, of course. ~.~ not shibby. I'm only 1/4 looking forward to it. I miss the lack of thought because you're too dead off your ass to logically brood over anything, and everything leads to giggles, because nothing makes sense anymore. I miss that. But then I remember going to bed at midnight, just to get up at 2:00 am to groggily type out a 4,000-word report, and turning it in during second hour, but only after rushing down to the library to recreate the final copy; using the original final copy as a rough draft. ~.~ And I remember the assholes, and I remember the fighting, and I remember the large crowds, and the idiots (Oh, how I remember the idiots..) and I become SO willing to become broodingly depressed and overladen with thoughts, just to avoid all that.
  e.e And if I hear one more FUCKING thing about how I need to fall in love, I'm going to get a god-damned uzi and take you all out. NOT ONE FUCKING THING ABOUT IT. ><' I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want to go on dates, and I don't want someone pestering me about these things. If I need sex, I call the fucking 900 numbers! >< Got it? Good. Anyone FUCKING jokes after reading this and IMs me, is liable for pain. Verbally, and then physically.
  That said... *yawn* I'm prolly going to sleep forever today. But I'm getting really edgy, because I hate dreaming. One more fucking dream and I swear, I'm gonna scream and kill myself (I'm KIDDING... It's just a form of speech). Anyways. Yesterday was nice.. I went shopping early in the morning with my 'Nee-chan and Thatz-Chan. ^^ I bought chocolate covered pocky (which sam ate almost all of), Strawberry-- the sort you dip, not pre-covered -- pocky, and I bought vol. 1 of "The Kindaichi Files: The Mummy's Curse," vol. 2 of "-Fake-," vol. 3 of "Chobits," and vol. 1 of "Gravitation".
   ~.~ More shopping tomorrow, because I need to get school clothes and school supplies... I'll have birthday money though, so maybe I'll buy some more manga (oughta just buy -Fake-, the DVD, you know?) But yeah. I know mom's coming home and all, but I'm going to bike over to my gramma's, so she can see me since she didn't get to yesterday. Ttyl.

See ya'll in my little piece of Hell,
Sin

08.18.2003 | Monday

Late Morning | 11.34
Avril!! Haven't listen ta her since the Evanescence obsession began! ^o^

Sorry for the big lack in updating. I'm pretty busy ~.~ o.o n.n But I got my schedule changed today. For those of you that go to my school and feel like comparing, here's Semester 1:

Algebra II - Lebsack

Chemistry I - ?

Geog. of Michigan - Birkmeirer

English III - Oeming

American History - Johnson

Cadet Teaching - Staff

I'll give you Sem 2 if you want it, but you can talk to me at school for that. *yawn* I'm probably going to go sleep. Fuck doing that which needs to be done. I'll call Sage and she can mow the damn thing. Hell if I fucking care if it gets overgrown. u.u; I, personally, like it, but yeah. Oh, and my folk's aren't home until thursday. *grins* So everyone come over and bring your own beer! Well. No beer. I'll snipe you out. But bring your own caffeine supply cause I ain't sharin'!! n.n;
A~and anyways... my birthday's in two days, and while I'm not thrilled about surviving another year (heh, lol ^^' Just kidding.. o.� Or maybe not. lol, anywho! n.n; *silly*) It's definently a plus that my sis is taking me on a $50.00 shopping spree at Fashion Square Mall!! ^o^ And I'm trying to decide where it'll all go, so I'mma post a list of my manga debates, and you tell me what:

Fake volume(s) 2+

Chobits volume(s) 3+

Angelic Layer volume(s) 2+

Real Bout High School volume(s) 2+

And as for other stuff...

Pocky ( ^o^ Yum. )

Trigun Neko (cat) XD

Cowboy Bebop puppy, Ein XD

Anime soundtracks ( ^o^ snarky. )

Plushies?? (tell me what one's I should look for)

And that's about it, unless you've other recommendations on what I should spend that cash on. Oh, ^^; and if you say "you" (aka my friends) my sis has officially declared violent physical maiming of any of you. I don't mind sharing my manga with you all though. ^^; Eh. Oh, and if anyone wants to come with, that's fine too. ^^ Maybe we can go see a movie or something (Pirates of the Caribbean!!!! ^O^ ).
Um... Oh! Congratulations to all the occupants of The Garden, for we've reached over 1000+ hits! n.n snarky! So... give us gifts that say go us! lol, j/k. ^^ I'm just happy to be here and yeah. AND for the hell of another list... Here's a list of who gets what "treats" from me. Wannt a Treat? IM GrapesChan and I will chat with ya and decide a fitting treat for you.

Jami-chan: *Kitty Treat*

Ree-chan: *Shounen Ai treat*

Inu-chan: *puppy treat*

Tori-chan: *blood treat*

Thatz-chan: *Harper Treat*

And I think that's it for today's update! *huggles* Hearts!

Ja ne!
Sin

08.14.2003 | Thursday

Evening: 20.29
"Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide. (suicide)"

Whoa, long time, no update, ne? Gomen ne, Jami-chan, Sano-chan and Panno-chan! Well, I guess there's not much really going on. I went camping and got back a while ago and it was nice. I like to camp. ^^ Yah. got totally distracted from this update because now I'm RPing. Hee. Amusing. ^^ I adore it all.
*pause*
Waii!!! Sam brought me her CD!!! ^0^ >>;; I was SO freaking Evanescence deprived. ;-; It was horrible. Anyways. Since I'm so distracted. I'll updated some other time.

Ja!
Sin

08.06.2003

Early Evening: 04.34 (0434/2359)
"I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away."

  Uck. Sorry it's been so long since the last update. I don't really feeling like detailing everything, so I'll just let you all know I'm still alive. Meh. Anyways! ^^' >.> Evanescence ish good for you. I have to update for Sano-chan. *lazy*
  I should update for myself as well. x.x' *talked herself into it*

  Okay. Well, not much really going on. Let's see... I passed my written exam for Driver's Training (yay!) and I've been hanging out at Sano's a lot lately. ^^ Which is shibby. I need to update at Amnesia, but I've been really lazy. I have art to liberate, poems to liberate and one sent with alread-give permission, and I've got to get ahold of Phil's new book. I'm working on teaching That-chan RPing. ^^ I'm glad she found a partner. I felt bad when I said I shouldn't. n.n' Oh well. I'll RP with her if she wants, but we're both pretty apathetic people.
  ...Yeah. It's getting rough. May have to kick this Evanescence obbsession, according to Yami. u.u' It's my fucking choice... *sigh* She was suggesting that I not listen to Evanescence and that I not read Dragon Knights and that I not do an angsty RP. >< Like that would fucking help, yami. u.u' Please don't presume to tell me my own business... you don't own me, even if we share a body.

...I do what I want.

Ja ne.
Sin

08.03.2003

Late Evening: 11:38a
No. Not a sheep... *pause* ...A duck.

Well, I've been ungrounded for a bit now (got off early) and I jsut got back from Driver's Training. ^^ It was fun, but I don't really feel like sharing it. I'm pretty irritated and depressed as always, but hell, I don't feel like talking about that either.
Excerpts:

[Sin] *responding to a girl's comment* ...You LIED to me?! *glares at Casteel, her Driving Instructor* And what are you, a sheep?!
[Casteel] *blink* u.u' No. Not a sheep. *medium pause* ...A duck.
[Car] *cracks up laughing*

[Sin] So yeah. I tend to go through malls and randomly yell, "SEX!!!" at the top of my lungs. Cause I love getting weird looks from people. My ma yells 'bout it though.
[Casteel] u.u' She shouldn't. Next time she yells at you for it, smile, and tell her, "I'm only getting weird looks because either they aren't getting any or they aren't getting enough."
[Car] *again, breaks into unstopping laughter*

[Sin] ... Hell, Casteel. It's 11 o'clock at night. I'm confused.
[Casteel] Better wake up.
[Sin] o.o ^^ Buy me a cappuchino?
[Casteel] Better idea. Go hit your head on that post.
[Sin] o.o What post? *point to a street lamp post* That one? Be specific, man!
[Casteel] No, -that- one.
[Sin] @.@ What one??
[Casteel] *sigh*
[Girl in back] *point to the metal part behind the driver's seat* THAT one.
[Sin] ....Oh. *long pause* ..........That's not a post.

That about wraps it up for Driver's Training amusement. Oh, and btw. ^^ I got a new keyboard AND a new mouse. XD The mouse glows.

Ja ne.
Sin

07.30.2003

Afternoon: 12:04p
Still Grounded...

  Again with the sneaking on-ness. ^^' I'm home alone and I have the oppurtunity. Mom won't be home until six and sam's at work early. Ron's at work too but I dunno how long. Gotta be careful not to get caught in my ... endeavour's. ^^;; Silly me.
  Well. There's really not much to say. Life continues on much as it has the last 15 years. A little more depression than "back then" though. You just ignore it and keep going though. n.n It's what I do. Oh! Got my permenants in (my capped front teeth). Yahiko's Polish now because she was petting them (don't ask). And I got bribed with two more manga ("Angelic Layer" vol. 1 and "Jing: King of Bandits" vol. 1) to keep me quiet about my opinions. *shrug* Gramma leeta's back this weekend. That so won't end well and you all know how well I get along with her. u.u' Anyways. Yahiko's leaving us. Sano might be bt I hope not. ;; Bye Yahiko-chan!! (And it's okay I understand what with school Poms and babysitting and other stuff. n.n )
  Apart from that stuff... Driver's Training is much the same. I don't drive again until Saturday at 6.0p. No problem. And then I drive the next day (August ³) at 6.0p and 8.0p. Again.. no real problems. Well. I got some other stuff I want to do so I'm going to wrap this update up. ttyl if I sneak on again. *grin* you KNOW I will. ^^ so bbs.

Ja!
Sin

07.28.2003

Afternoon: 2:20p
Grounded!!

ACK! Gotta type fast and keep this update short. I've been grounded for two weeks and I've still got ten days left. So... ^^' Sin snuck online. Go her. Yay. Anyways! I started Driver's Training and that's erm. Going well. I'm not a GTA3 driver irl but I don't drive well in cities. As for backing up? ... x.x' "[Casteel] Reikowski! The TRUCK!" "[Sin] GAH! WHERE THE HELL'D THAT COME FROM?!?!" "[Casteel] x.x;; THE ROAD REIKOWSKI WATCH THE ROAD!!!" "[Sin] I AM WATCHING THE ROAD!!" ^^;; Yeah. It's amusing. Anyways... about the last update. Ignore it and we'll just push it off as P.M.S. Cool? Cool.
Not much more to say but life's been hetic. Mom's still not stopping that whole Lykouleon thing. Wonder what's up. Oh well. Anyways. Gotta go read my comics and take care of my Neopets before they starve or something. Gotta do that. *nodnod* And chitter with friends on AIM. Might sneak on another day.

Ja!
Sin

07.17.2003

Afternoon: 2:32p
Ugh.

Ugh. Exactly as the title says. Ugh. Why does everyone feel the fucking need to lie to me and act like I'm jsut a fucking child who doesn't know shit? It's fucking irritating. *sigh* I don't mean to complain. Really. I don't. But I'm fucking sick of being lied to and of being shoved off and of being told to fucking behave. It's just fucking pissing me off! I know I shouldn't say anything considering everyone I lie to. But still. No one ever realizes my fucking lie! ...No I'm not going into details. You never get real fucking details about my past or hell even my present. So just don't even fucking ask. If I wanted anyone to know I would fucking broadcast it about. I'm going to go beat some of my aggravation out of the local assholes. See you later and have a fucking nice day. If anyone even fucking asks I swear I'll just fucking kill you. I don't want anyone to fucking know and I don't need anyone fucking pestering me.

. . .
Sin

07.15.2003

Afternoon: 6:33p
Version 6.0: Rath Illuser

Hey everyone! Like the new layout? My god this CSS stuff is gonna take some getting used to. ^^ Mm's such a great friend setting all this up for me. It'll take some re-learning but I think I'll get it okay. Ya see.... the layout idea and all that is mine (not the bg-- I can't remember the link but I'll snag it in a few days..) but I wasn't sure how to set it up. ^^ Mm and her infinite wisdom did like... all the work for me. She's so cool!! ^o^_v
So. I've got two aritifical and temporary front teeth called... temporaries! My caps won't be done until two weeks from tomorrow. Uck. They're SO irritating. Just like CSS It'll take some getting used to-- not having two chipped front teeth. u.u' They didn't bug me in the slightest and I thought it was just a waste of time and money to get them fixed. *sigh* Whatever... e.e I was bribed with two new Chobits manga (1 & 2) and a NewType magazine. Yay. So I can't say what I'd love to scream. Anyways... camping was great. I miss it a lot and now I feel really pent up. e.e When I feel a bit more social I'll give you the details okay? Okay. TTYL.

Jaa ne.
Sin

07.14.2003

Morning: 9:38a
It's My Life...!

Okay I'm back from camping. o.- Mou. And I feel more Rathish than ever. If this keeps up I'll feel the need for another name change. lol. Demo..... camping was fun and we amused ourselves easily. e.e I have to get my teeth fixed today. It irritates me. And my mom's gotten all Lykouleon-ish. I'll write later after I get back from the dentist....

Jaa...
Sin