JOURNAL III
2/08/04, 3:40 AM, I have such a big project I am working on and now I find myself unable to think or determine how to execute what is needed. Sometimes I am so personally and emotionally involved I cannot differentiate between what is relevant legally and what I feel is blatant. Please pray for me, I have to have this done by Sunday evening and I am short on sleep. God, thank You for answering my prayers and working for our cause so miraculously, You have shown and given us many things. Please grant me the wisdom, direction, determination, comfort and strength to finish this project quickly, effectively and powerfully. Cause those who read it to be shown the truth and fill their hearts with desire and determination to look into our case and diligently work to bring Bethany and Lilly home to us quickly. In Jesus' name I pray these things I ask be granted me, Amen.
2/08/04, 10:37 PM, I completely scrapped the letter I had been working on because I found I had already done what I was in effect re-doing. Right in front of my face and in the report was a document which detailed exactly what I was trying to re-detail. I felt stupid, I mean I spent two weeks on that two months ago and I forgot. That's what I get for staying up 24 hours in a row! God has been revealing many hidden things to Nancy, Grandma Nancy and I. We are discovering so many things and God is good, He is directing all our ways. Praise God for His forgiveness, Love and Mercy toward us. Great things are coming. Right now I am finalizing the project I was working on and getting it ready to send out. Pray for it to be powerful and accurate and pray for it to be well received and given much credit. In Jesus' name, thank You God.
2/12/04, 12:25 PM, Praise God... He has revealed great things today. I pray God Touch, Heal and Bless the people He revealed to us today. Thank You God, You truly are wonderful and great.
2/13/04, 7:56 AM, Praise God... He has revealed great things yet again today. I pray God Touch, Heal and Bless the people He reveals to us today. Thank You God, You truly are wonderful and great. It is too early to begin making the calls I need to make today and I must finish up an email I promised to send and my spirits are very up, many hidden things have been revealed yesterday and will be today. I have not slept again for almost 24 hours but I am refreshed and convicted. Nancy and I made a new friend, she knows who she is, and we have even more prayers being said for Bethany and Lillian to come home safely and quickly. I pray in the name of Jesus that God grant me the wisdom and strength I will need today, that the Holy Spirit comfort and guide me in all my conversations, directions and ways, that Bethany and Lilly be kept safe from harm and prepared to come home soon, that they know we love them and have not given up on them, that Kristin and her family be blessed and Kristin's back healed, that Alan and all of his family be given joy and peace today in the Lord and that God grant us favor today with those who are and will be involved in our case. Thank you God, and help me to let go of these bad feelings I sometimes have about my parent's and others who have enabled them, help me to forgive them, help me to love them, I am weak, make me strong, I am angry, fill me with love, I am hurt, heal me and fill where I lack, armour me with truth, righteousness, Your word and precepts, the conviction of the Holy Spirit and send Your angels to remove all obstacles and uncover every hidden thing. Lord, let great and good things happen for Bethany and Lilly, our family and those helping us today, Amen!
2/26/04, 5:11 PM, I have not been on this site for a little while. I found out some new information that disturbed me and I have simply not been able to think about the site. I think about the girl's desperately everyday and miss them terribly. God has given me comfort and I have a sense of peace in knowing they will be home soon. I have more pictures to add but not now. This is all I can do today, please pray for the girl's and our family.
3/11/04, 6:40 PM, Praise God! God is good, God is mighty, God is magnificent! I have been having nightmares, strange and upsetting ones. Also quite realistic ones. dreams, mixtures of different things and emotions. I am thankful when I see Bethany and Lilly in them, whatever the dream consists of, it makes me feel closer to them. I miss them. I have pictures to upload and things to do here but I am struggling with even leaving this journal entry because the pain is so close. Forgive me for neglecting the site, my emotions have been so strong lately.
3/18/04, 4:52 AM, Praise God... I pray God Touch, Heal and Bless Bethany & Lilly and Alan and his family and my family and I. As the battle drags on, I could have no better army than that of God fighting for me. As I grow and learn, I pray and ask for prayers of strength, wisdom, hope, faith, prosperity and victory. I ask God to guide me in His will and keep me focused in His ways. I pray specifically for those who are lazy and uncaring, who hold no understanding or fear of God enough to do good. I pray for their hearts, minds, spirits and bodies to be renewed by the love of Jesus. I ask Bethany and Lilly be protected as well as the truth revealed to those who will help them. Fill me with Your spirit and Your word. Guide me to victory. Cause every person I contact to hear my plea and see that it is good, cause them to be touched by Your Holy Spirit and guided by Your will. Bring Bethany and Lilly home safely and quickly. I pray for those who are working and fighting for Bethany and Lilly and our family, that angels be sent to protect them from all evil and temptation and any attempt to move them from your will be turned around into an example of your greatness. I pray you guide and fill us with righteousness and grant us favor in every step we take. In Jesus name I pray.
5/9/04, 10:11 PM, It is Mother's Day, I have spent the entire day writing about my childhood and our family dynamic. I finished three chapters and they are good, better than I imagined.I have not been on this site for a long while. I think about it often and have been having nightmares again but mostly I have stayed out because I have been in too much pain. I am only writing here now for my children. I had determined to write something here for them today and since it is almost over I am here writing. Bethany and Lilly, I love and miss you so much, I want to hold you both so much I can feel you between my arms already. I had a strange prophetic dream the other night that you were home again, older and bigger, as you are now, it was very realistic. I believe you will be home soon. My love cannot be defined by any reasoning as it is ever increasing and of strength so great it is immeasurable. I face my pain for you, I better myself for you, I hold onto my faith for you.
8/04/04, 6:04 AM, God has been changing me. I prayed for His help and He has delivered. I have lost about 35 pounds and gone down over two sizes. I almost forgot what I looked like before the chemotherapy and depression. It feels good to look in the mirror and see my face again. I feel like I have been grieving and depressed for so long that my health has suffered. It feels good to have a plan and to stick it through. Pain over Bethany and Lilly is strong lately but steps have been taken as I follow Gods lead in my life. I will not worry about the outcome when I am following His direction. I love Bethany and Lilly.
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1