BETHANY, I never saw a child as perceptive and aware as you are. You are smart and strong and very creative, incredibly talented. You have wisdom in your soul and this is revealed through the smile in your eyes. You are so incredibly forgiving, understanding and optimistic and your love for God is incredible. You are truly beyond your years in this life and I miss your insight, your energy, your compassion but especially your silly side. I love to watch you put down your burdens and just have fun. You are like the ocean, strong and powerful and wonderful, beautiful, mesmerizing and utterly natural and peaceful. You are so very great and special. I miss how you could always make people, myself especially, laugh. This is a wonderful gift you share so well. I miss your hugs and your warmth, I miss the sound of your laughing and I deeply miss the grumpy Bethany in the morning. In fact I can hear your morning grumpy voice right now not wanting to wake up and I really miss it, these memories are precious to me. From the day you were born I fell in love with you and I could not help but be happy around you, even when you were crying you were precious and cute. I will write more of my memories later, in other letters, it is too difficult right now because I miss you soo much. I love you.
LILLIAN, you remind me of myself as a child, I feel we have a super special connection. You are so loving and giving and sweet, you try so hard to please and be good. You are soft and gentle and kind. You are full of energy and ready to jump into any situation eagerly and with optimisim. You are always the first one to make a friend, protect others and stand up for what you feel is right and good. You are so smart and talented, you can literally do anything you set your mind to and intend to. Some would say you are idealistic but the fact is you are realistic about your abilities, gifts and skills. When you do something you put everything you have into it and sometimes out of sheer determination you excell in what you're doing. You can play any sport you choose and you run like the wind. Remember how you outran everyone in your class, even the boys. Your daddy runs faster than anyone I ever saw run, you got that from him and yet if I remember correctly, you outran him and he was so proud. You are sensitive like I am and you have so much love to give. You want to help everyone and are ready to sacrifice yourself for someone else. I remember in school and Girl Scouts your work was often incomplete because you were so busy helping other kids. This is a perfect example of your loving, giving heart. You can be stubborn like your mom, and so cute when you get mad about something. Your smile is infectious and your eyes reveal your heart so deeply. You truly do stand out in your beauty. You are my shining star, the light of my life. I remember we used to hug so much, we were always holding hands or you were in my lap or next to me, leaning against me. It was as if we fed off of eachother or shared some type of energy or connection. Like a battery that needs to be charged and we would hold hands or hug or just lean into eachother and feel better. We are so close. Remember the time I held your hand and stroked it over and over while you fell asleep and if I stopped you would wake up and look for me and wanted me to keep stroking it so you could relax. That night was special to us. I stroked your hand for over four hours and everytime I stopped you woke up searching for me. That was always so special for us. I told you that night, as you came and laid in my arms that everything was okay because even when we could not be together, that we were always with eachother, inside eachother. I told you that you were in my heart forever and that when you were thinking of me I was thinking of you too. I told you about all the special thoughts I have for you and now I cry because I miss you. I told you the important thing was to learn to feel me inside you and you inside me and to know, no matter where the other is, we are together inside and we can find reasons to be happy. I am happy to have the honor of loving you. I am happy you are such a beautiful little girl and that God gave you to me. I am happy that you love me as much as I love you. I am happy that you are so wonderful and healthy. Most of all I am happy when you are happy. I love you.
Mommy