August 25, 2002 (Written October 6, 2002)
I FOUND HER/THEM!! My records were petitioned from the court and a social worker was made the master of my records. She gave me her first and middle name and we looked up marriage records. I found that she was married to a man that was born in Michigan. On Sunday, August 25, 2002, I called every person listed in Michigan with that same last name, and asked if they were related to him. After about 45 calls, I finally talked to a woman that said her husband was this man's brother. I talked with her husband and he told me that his brother had died in 2000. (This man was not my birthfather, although I was not sure at that time) He gave me one of my half-sister's phone number and my husband called her for me.
When he dialed the number I was freaking out. I was pacing and crying. I started having a panic attack. It was such a trip!!!!!!!!!!
When he first started telling her why he was calling, she stopped him. She said she knew why he was calling and had gotten the same type of phone call two years before. She said 'our' birthmother had 8 kids and three of them were given up for adoption, and one of them had found them already.
The night I found them, I could not sleep. The next day at work, I could not work. My brain was going crazy. It was like I was rearranging everything, where I was in this life, who I was, all the details that I learned were processing and it was driving me crazy. I didn't think it was going to stop but it finally did after about 3 days.
Skipping all of the details, I have 3 brothers and 5 sisters on my birthmother's side. I also have 1 brother and 4 sisters on my birthfather's side. I had to make 2 spreadsheets to keep up with them all, and their ages and their spouses and kids. Most of them live in Florida and a lot of them live in other states like Idaho, Oregon, Georgia, and Nevada.
My birthfather died also, in 2000, and never knew about me. I'm really sad about that. I have been told that he was a nice and funny man. He loved his children and was a hard worker. I look just like him! More than any of his other kids.
Now for my birthmother! We finally spoke on the phone on September 11, 2002. I had already spoken to a few sisters and a brother by that time. When she answered the phone, it felt like I recognized her voice. We happily chatted for a couple of hours. She was not looking for me but was glad that I found her. She has never had a computer and had never searched online. She filled in all the gaps and answered all of the questions I had. Everything went great and is still going great! She lives in Florida, and I live in Texas, so I don't know if/when we will ever get to meet. We don't have any plans to meet at this time. She did keep saying 'we'll have to get together soon!' We have spoken on the phone three times now.
I have an aunt and uncle and three cousins that live right by me, on my birthfather's side. I went to their house and saw pictures and videos of my birthfather and his children. I look more like my birthfather's side than my birthmother's. One of my little sisters looks exactly like me when I was her age. I am 11 years older than she is. My brother on my birthfather's side was happy at first, then kinda skeptical, but I think that he believes me now. I had to convince him I wasn't looking for anything, just a brother :-) They have all welcomed me with open arms. I have a really awesome cousin that I've been speaking with online almost every day! Every once in a while, I'll get a call from one of them I haven't met yet. I still haven't spoken to all of them yet.
That is the end of my long journey. My adoptive parents and family are just as happy as I am.
Now I am going to help other adoptees find their birth families. I've already helped about 8 of them this year, steering them to the right places, and they have been reunited :-) |
