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	January 2nd, 2005 It's January 2nd and I had to turn on my air conditioner. It's been raining all day and since it's also quite warm, things got muggy in my apt. I still had to giggle at how silly I felt turning on the a/c. As I sit here in shorts and t-shirt. I guess there are a few things I love about Texas. The weather is definitely at the top of the list. I had a great time on New Years. Tommy threw a party and it was fab. Of course, most of us spent a good amount of time out in the driveway because it wasn't midnight yet and none of us had to give up smoking until then. (Actually, I don't think any of us made that resolution, although I do believe I'll be sloughing off the nicotine-stained monkey in the coming weeks.) It was a beautiful night. I was disappointed that more people didn't dress up, but then again, I stood out more in my tiara that way. I got a new one for Christmas, so I had to wear it. Midnight came and there was much champagne and kissing. Then I went home. I had to work on the first. I showed up at work sans make-up. I did put some on once I was there, but I had some issues rousing myself from the warm folds of the bedding and I didn't have time to do it at home. I really should clean up my act at work. I know my give-a-shitter is broken in regards to my current Jill Job. But I think it's starting to show and that can be bad. I've been doing some New Year's re-evaluating. I can feel some changes in the air and I do believe the coming weeks will hold a certain amount of life shuffling. Not the least of which will be my moving back in to the condo. Which I am certainly looking forward to. I love this place. I've missed living here. It seems like my escape from the world. I feel good being here. It makes me happy. There are many other things occupying my mind, as well, these days. Thoughts of the ebb and flow of friendships, and how the give and take between people can become so unbalanced. I've never been good at letting go, especially of friendships. As an Air Force brat, they are a precious, precious commodity. But I am no longer willing to give so much and get so little. If there is one thing this past year has taught me, it's that I deserve so much better than I have settled for in the past. And I am also more willing, these days, to stand behind my decisions. I'm getting a bit philosophical all over myself here, but I think I've made the point. Anyhoo... I need to head back to my apt and finish my laundry. Then, I might go to the movies. Or crawl into bed and shut out the world. I haven't decided. Either way, I'll take some time for me, cause I deserve it.

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