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	December 31, 2004 I have to admit I am little bit irritated. I was talking to a friend earlier who intimated that some of our group was making plans to ditch the party we were originally going to go to and go to someone else's house after making a token appearance. This irritates me for several reasons, not the least of which is it has happened before. I just don't understand the attitude. I have been invited to the first party and I have always intended on going. Partly because a few of our out-of-towners are supposed to be there. Now, they may not be. I could miss seeing my far-flung friends because third parties have already a judged a party to be not good enough, or not fun enough, or not having the right people. I'm not sure why I'm getting angry about it, but the more I think about it, the angrier I am. My attitude is: Go to the party, and have a good time. No one can stop me from having fun. I'm the one who decides how much fun I'm going to have. I guess I'm feeling like I'm going to have to drive all over this fucking town to see my friends, on the worst night to be out driving around, just because someone else has decided to fling their nose up in the air. The previous plan was a good one. We were all going to be in one place. If there were people there we didn't want to talk to, we can avoid them. I've done it before, I know it's possible. I have to stop thinking about it. I'm getting upset. So, this is the last day of 2004. I admit my previous ebullience about this year ending has waned a little. I'm nervous that 2005 won't be much of an improvement. But then again, I have no choice but to find out. Time will march on. This is usually a time to look back on the previous year and mull things over and evaluate what worked and what didn't. I say fuck it. I can't change it anyway. It was what it was and I can only look forward. Look out 2005. You'll be better than 2004 if I have to stomp on someone to make it happen! Happy New Year, Gang. I would be remiss if I didn't thank my friends, old and new, for all they have done for me this year. There have definitely been some ups and downs, but we all seem to have come out ok. Onward and Upward.

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