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·Mad With Grief·
I used the lyrics Brackish by Kittie and All You Wanted by Michelle Branch for this fic. It's kind of disturbing really. Don't question what goes on in my head...
She didn't know that it was never going to come though...
I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away
They were almost exact opposites. One was pretty and well liked, casual friends with everyone with no enemies at all. She was a good student, admittedly could’ve done better in her school work, but being as busy as she was every weekend and after school, with all the invites she got, she couldn’t really be blamed now, could she?
The other girl on the other hand…was her opposite. Pretty yes, but in a different way. Not all bright and warm, like Annabelle was...she was...pretty in a dark, exotic way…She was a great student, with a raw talent for history, art, English and music. She never failed to make herself an art project either, with dark black highlights around her wide green eyes, as many piercing as her parents would allow, and two illegal tattoos on her, one on her stomach, and one on her chest, which her parents didn't know about. With her morbid attitude on life, she wasn’t well liked…not when she made everyone around her uneasy…
Everyone except Annabelle of course.
These two were impartible. Annabelle looked up to Madoka as if she was the closest and best sister a girl could have. Madoka regarded Belle as such a life long friend who she could never loose her respect for. Madoka tried out everything Belle liked, and vice versa, and they both got swept away in each others lives, enjoying each others company so much, they could never imagine life without each other. They were the perfect example of life long best friends.
And now they were parted.
She is not scared to die
Best things in life drive her to cry
Crucify then learn
As Madoka saw the group of five boys approach her, she knew she had to stay and fight, unfearful and dedicated to sticking up for those just like her, who had to put up with the closed minded and ignorant fools who now were considered the top of the human status. She turned and threw her bag, ready and packed for Belle’s house, back into her own, before turning back and facing them determinedly, one hand resting on her flick lighter which was in one pocket, and the other hovering just above her other pocket which held her favourite switch knife.
“Hey freak! What’re you still livin’ for?” the main head boy asked roughly, moving uncomfortably close to the antisocial gothic.
“I only do so I can complete my goal in life…to kill all fucktards like you…”
“…get her!”
Slash. Slash.
Dead.
I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone
to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the tide comes
I'd take you away
The news hit Belle like a stream train. She just couldn’t believe she was gone, couldn’t believe the only person who really knew her wasn’t there for her anymore, and now, never would be…
She clung to the bag Madoka had packed, for coming over to her place for that night, all the contents still in there. Other things’ Madoka’s weeping parents knew she should have, aligned on her school desk, nothing else in their way. A shrine to her best friend, her guardian angel…whom just couldn’t be gone…it was unfathomable…they had everything planned out…which Unis they’d attend together, which jobs they were going to get and where they were going to live together first, until they found the males they wanted to share their lives with, and then where they’d move to, always within a street together, or next door if they could manage it.
Tide goes in, tide goes out…just like all her hopes and dreams…now that she had no one to lead her there…
Take so much away from inside you
Makes no sense
You know she can't guide you
She's your fuckin’ shoulder to lean on
Be Strong
As she had lay there dying, and the males had fled like scared rabbits from what they’d done, Madoka dragged herself inside, but not to spend her last minutes with her family…
With a pen and a notebook from her sleepover bag, which she never left home without, she began to write…
BlueBelle…you’re the bestest friend anyone could have ever had and never, ever forget that…if it wasn’t for you I never would have lived this wrong, and I’m not afraid to go now, because my life has been so fantastic with you there. The only part that holds me back is you, and the thought of what you could do without me around…
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
Was somebody who cares...
And I’m that someone who cared, and still, I care. I never will stop, I’ll always be beside you, throughout your life, watching you and knowing you’ll do fantastic things.
Don’t give up for me Bell, never, ever give up…
Sit & watch me burn
As she read these words again Belle dissolved into tears. No…they weren’t tears…they were something so much more then tears…they were what you cried when you had nothing to live for and everything to die for, no feelings left except pain and only memories to make you sob.
I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone...
Take so much away from inside you
Makes no sense
You know she can't guide you
She's your fuckin’ shoulder to lean on
Be strong
But she couldn’t be strong, not anymore…how could you promise something that only killed you everyday inside anyway?
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares
And reading these words even more broke her into pieces. She fell onto the ground and didn’t move again.
Not for hours.
Not for days.
All you wanted was somebody who cares
If you need me you know I'll be there
Oh, yeah
And where was she now? Gone, gone, gone…
Dead, dead, dead…
She's taught to believe
That it be ok
Look at your face
Scarred in dismay
Now times have changed
And so have you
I think I'd rather crucify than learn
Waking up again, now a different person, drowning in drugs her parents had induced her with to make her wake and live another day.
But now she was something else
Now she was a reincarnate…
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares
Carefully applied, black eyeliner and mascara, once Madoka’s of course.
Cloaked in black, dark reds, blues, greens, from her creator.
Light brown hair streaked with black, red and orange, long fingernails chipped from learning to play electric guitar and painted black in so many layers.
Draped with jewellery, some once Madoka’s, some newly bought, from a shop she’d only visit with Maddi. Everything new about herself to preserve the memory of something so familiar, so old, to keep herself alive...
I'd like to take you down
And show you deep inside my life
My inner working
To smell & lack of inner pride
To touch upon the surface is not for what it seems
I take away my problems
But only in my dreams
Freedom in change, happiness in memories, now that of the one person, which was once two. One was gone and now’s been found. Bliss in the salvation of madness.
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone
But she’s never gone, not when I’m her now…
A disturbed look from an old friend.
“What happened to you Anna..? You’ve…changed…”
“I’m not Anna…I’m Mabella. …who’re you…?”
Take so much away from inside you
Makes no sense
You know he can't guide you
He's your fuckin’ shoulder to lean on
Be strong
“You’re my best friend Madoka.”
“You’re my best friend too BlueBelle.”
Laugher.
Memories.
Silence.
Keladryie. Uploaded Jan//2005. Made for 1024x768.