Number 66
"The elite," "elitism," "elitists" are favorite words nowadays of ~ what to call them? Most often, radio and TV talking heads, the ranting class, who think they are conservative like to hurl these terms at people they think are liberals. No matter who's talking, they imply the real people, the real folks, ain't the elite; no matter what his politics, no one identifies himself as elite. Guys with high paying, high profile media jobs don't think of themselves as the elite.
A certain person lumps me by implication with what he deems brainwashed, East coast, elitist liberals. For widely different reasons (or non-reasons), I've been called an elitist years ago and again recently by liberal friends. We used to think of elitists as rich Republicans, and now they've become affluent leftists. But I'm still the same impecunious, serious but fun-loving, bookish dweeb I always was.
www.yourDictionary.com says: "French élite, from Old French eslite, from feminine past participle of eslire, to choose, from Latin ligere; see elect." This does not mean the elite are the chosen people, it means that elitists make choices. Perhaps they make choices different from yours.
When a word like this is used by people who place themselves on opposite poles of whatever scale they're looking at, the word doesn't mean anything. It's just namecalling. It's an ad feminem attack.
Well, it'll all get right when the sun comes out again. Yay for spring.
The Feel-Good Curriculum by Maureen Stout is about the "self-esteem" agenda that's overtaken much of public education in the U.S. and is responsible for grade inflation and social promotion. There are too many good passages in the book to quote or even summarize here, but I do want to recommend it to anyone interested in education. A few salient points:
One of my Latin American students became dissatisfied with her children's preschool because they were not being taught phonics. A neighbor had also warned her against using phonics, but ~ her kids weren't learning to read. Another student, also Latin American, finds that her son is having problems because his aggressive personality has no acceptable outlet in his preschool's non-competitive environment. These are two aspects of the same problem. The aggressive little boy has to learn cooperation, but he also needs to find a place where he may be allowed to excel, if he can, which is what he wants to do. That spot will probably be sports, since that's one place where aggressiveness is valued.
Why is it, by the way, that people usually don't resent the fact that some people are athletically gifted, while they may resent people with high intelligence or academic success? I heard someone ranting on the radio about a school that is getting pressure not to display the best artistic or academic work on the walls, because it might make some students feel bad. I bet they don’t get the same pressure not to display athletic trophies. Some people have greater natural athletic or artistic or intellectual abilities, but most people can improve by study and practice. Maybe parents don't like being reminded that they're not putting in the time and sweat that some others do to help their kids. I had trouble explaining to my American students last year that they could improve their English skills (and thus their grades) by working at it. As one of my students put it so succinctly, "It's not fair that some people get better grades just because they write better!"
Or as my bro Sam (maybe I'll start calling him Sambro) once said, there's a direct correlation between grades and turning the pages of your textbook. Kids will feel good about themselves if they do that.
Reading advice columns makes me yearn to give my own advice. A syndicated advice column for questions about families carried the following letter, and while I thought the advisor (T. Berry Brazelton) gave a good answer, I'd go further than he did:
"How do I tell other adults that I don't like the way they discipline my children? I have had some parenting classes and believe in speaking to children using 'I' messages. My children and I were leaving a Boy Scout meeting when the cub master, who is also a friend, noticed that my son (Kid X) was deliberately running and bumping into my van. In a deep, authoritative voice, he said, 'Kid X, you know better. Now get inside the van.' I turned to the cub master and told him, 'That was a "you" message.' At other times, his wife has told Kid X, 'I think you need to...' How do I tell my friends to use a different approach with my kids?"
As you probably know, "you messages" address the perceived fault of the person addressed, whereas an "I message" might be something like, "Kid X, I feel anxious when you run into my van." Of course, these might also run into a third-person message: "Mommy feels nervous and worried when you run into the van. How can we help Mommy feel better so she doesn't have to change her meds again?" "You messages," the theory goes, are hurtful whereas "I messages" preserve self-esteem.
I was not aware of the "I message" theory when I was raising my kids. My "I message" might have been something like, "I'm going to slap you into the next county if you don't stop running into that van!" This was my version of my mother's, "Stop running into that car or else I'll shake your toenails loose!" (Note: No toenails or counties were hurt in the delivery of these threats.) I'm all for the authoritative voice with people who are smaller and younger and weaker than I am. My boys turned out OK, now that they're bigger and stronger, though still younger, than I.
Seriously though, I don't know that all children at all times can be persuaded that another person's wishes outweigh their own immediate pleasures or fears. Certainly adults don't always care about that. The cub scout master recognized that the boy was old enough to be capable of rational thought and moral choice when he said, "You know better." He also made things easier for the boy when he gave him an instruction rather than a choice: "Now get inside the van."
Reminds me of a friend of mine who took his young dog to a trainer because he was out of control. The trainer told him dogs are pack animals and need a leader. If you don't lead, they'll try to. This pup was trying to lead, but he couldn't handle the responsibility.
I'll be happy to answer any requests for advice you may have concerning your friends' and relatives' behavior (your own, like mine, undoubtedly needs no improvement).
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