PARVUM OPUS

Number 55


YES, SPOT, THERE REALLY IS A CHRISTMAS

I bet some of you have photos of your child's first Christmas. There's a commercial running now ~ for dogfood or cameras or something, doesn't matter ~ about a young couple ga-ga over their dog's "first holiday," buying it presents and taking its picture and so on, and they have a big Christmas tree in the room. It's not a Chanukah tree or a Muslim tree or a "holiday tree." It's a Christmas tree. So why be coy about the dog's "first holiday"? If it's necessary to be absolutely all-inclusive about the holidays, they're going to have to get rid of that Christmas tree, or maybe run a series of ads, one for a dog's first Chanukah and another for a dog's first Kwanzaa and another for a dog's first Ramadan and so on and on.

CHRISTMAS DISORNAMENTS

I don't want to be too critical of people's taste in Christmas ornaments. At this time of year more than ever, we should remember that it's the spirit that counts. But ~ this year I'm seeing 8-foot tall illuminated Christmas figures ~ Santas, trees, snowmen, etc. ~ on people's lawns and porches that I don't remember seeing before. These aren't the old, familiar, hard plastic illuminated Santas and Nativity figures, but soft inflated plastic, huge plastic, more suited for a grocery store or car dealership. I wasn't crazy about them but I thought, hey, at least kids will love them. But some people don't want to leave the air pump and lights on all day, so my charitable thoughts disappeared on seeing these nightmarish icons deflated. When you turn off ordinary Christmas lights ~ which are never ordinary, even the smallest, biggest, gaudiest, or faintest are beautiful to me ~ you just have a non-lit space; maybe the cords are visible close up. But when these monsters are turned off, they sink into a limp, soggy looking heap of wrinkled plastic on the lawn. The meager charm of the soft glow of gigantic plastic snowmen is more than cancelled out by the daytime mess, which looks like (1) a pile of large, colorful trash bags, or (2) huge, festive, used condoms.

One of my neighbors has been decorating with giant plastic ever since Halloween; giant witches, pumpkins, turkeys, and now Christmas figures litter his lawn. I'm afraid he's going to find some for every other holiday of the year, and for non-holidays too, blooming briefly at night and dying on the lawn every day.

FOLLOW-UPS

FULL CIRCLE WITH CENTER

A year ago, in PO 3, I wrote about the naming of places this and that Center, and especially Centre. Yesterday I found a web site with a link to a Mapping Center, which was simply a page of links to various maps for the real-life place I was interested in. First of all, "mapping" was a poor choice of words because it sounds to me as if you're going to make your own maps. "Center" is a poor choice, worse than the Professional Centers and Medical Centers I complained about a year ago, because ~ well, it's just a web page with links to maps. They should have just called it "Maps." Harrumph.

THE OLD FARMER'S ALMANAC

I just bought the 2004 Old Farmer's Almanac, published in New Hampshire. I buy it every year. There are other almanacs, which are probably good too, but I stick with the same one, because in this case longevity and consistency are the point. The OFA with the yellow cover was founded in 1792, and says its "North America's oldest continuously published periodical." I think my grandparent farmers (both sets) probably bought it.

One of the things I look for every year in the Alamanac is the winter solstice, because that's when the days start getting longer, and we get more light, a little more every day. On page 70 of the 2003 edition, I find that that the shortest day was December 21 (length of day, 9 hours and 4 minutes), making yesterday, December 22, the winter solstice. Today, December 23, is the new moon.

A HAPPY HOLIDAY

From www.Engrish.com:

All the things that it is reflected in the eyes are fresh, and it can be impressed by the heart. Let's walk slowly.

Perhaps this is a variation on the Thai proverb:

Life is short. We must move very slowly.

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