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DISTORTION, VIOLATION, CORRUPTION

What I'm all about. At least tonight.

From Garner's Daily Usage Tips:

"Distortion of language, violation of logic, and corruption of values are about the most common devices through which advertising operates." Henryk Skolimowski, "The Semantic Environment in the Age of Advertising," in Coming to Terms with Language: An Anthology 25, 30 (Raymond D. Liedlich ed., 1973).

Not just advertising. Media, politics, religion, all distort language, wrenching traditional understandings out of it and new definitions into it; violating logic and grammar; and corrupting values. In academia, post-modernism and deconstruction tell us that all values are equally valid, and "misreading" is what we must do. I say let's get reading down first and the misreading will take care of itself.

DISTORTION

Heard on TV:

"I was stricken by (a story)." This is not the same as "struck by". "Stricken by" usually means something like afflicted by. "Struck by" usually means impressed by. However, both forms have pretty much the same definitions. Variants in usage are a matter of custom.

"Other areas of the region." You might as well say "other areas of the area" or "other regions of the region". Maybe a region us bigger than an area. But both are indefinite and vague.

VIOLATION

LET ARE KIDS WALK was a protest sign carried by a mother who wanted kids to participate in their high school graduation ceremony even though they hadn't passed the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills. Well, you don't need a diploma to put one foot in front of the other. Maybe they need two lines at graduations now, one with diplomas and one without.

CORRUPTION

Haven't seen one, but I read about "Buck Fush" bumper stickers. Like the FCUK clothing company (French Connection UK), the wit aims at people who are too young to drive or to buy their own clothes. If no vulgarity is reserved for the private sphere, soon there will be nothing left with which to irritate people, much less shock them.

THE ROACH IN MY SANDWICH

Our favorite sandwich shop, Potbelly's, has a bookshelf in the corner and that's where we sit, so we can look at the titles, miscellaneous stuff somebody picks up at yard sales. Saturday I spotted something new, or rather, old ~ archy does his part, a collection of archy the cockroach stories by Don Marquis, with fabulous illustrations by George Herriman. I wrote about archy and his friend mehitabel the cat in PO 57. You may recall that archy was formerly a human whose soul entered the body of a roach as punishment for being a vers libre (free verse) poet. I'd never seen this book before, which is out of print, and I was delighted to be able to buy it from our perky clerk, Kate, for $2. She said she'd heard of archy from her mom.

Judging by the title, I thought this must be a WWII publication, but it's actually a 1936 book, from the depths of the Great Depression, full of funny observations on politics, strikes, communism, etc. (I once heard a young editor say, by the way, that if you're talking about personal depression, you spell it in all caps.)

I did the bad thing and flattened the book on its spine so I could scan the cover and spine art just for you (attached).

I was going to include several snippets because you may never see this book yourself, but it contains an embarrassment of riches, so here's just one selection from the authors desk:

i climbed upon my boss his desk

to type a flaming ballad

and there i found a heap grotesque

of socks and songs and salad

Note "my boss his desk" for "my boss's desk". The meter is the same for both, but Don Marquis was harkening back to the days of early English when possessives were formed with "his" and thus we got the apostrophe S possessive form. At least that's a theory. One of my English professors said that wasn't so, because it doesn't explain "her" and other possessives. But since "he" and "his" were the generic references to all humans of both sexes, I still think it's a good theory, Also, the form "my boss his desk" appears in Dutch and German, according to Wikipedia. Now that I remember, that professor did me another academic ill turn. Oh well, I suppose he's passed on to the great classroom in the sky by now.

FROM YOU

Dan quoted me from a recent PO: "The loss of precision in language leads to us not knowing exactly what people mean." He said, "Am I making up rules, or should the 'us' be changed to 'our'?" Dan is right. "Knowing" is a gerund, thus a noun, and needs the possessive. The only way my faulty construction could be acceptable would be if the gerund led an appositive phrase, such as, "The loss of precision in language points to me ~ not knowing exactly what people mean." My mistake was just carelessness. In speech, it's a common vulgarism. Dan also sent this subhead from USA Today (which he said should have been USA Yesterday by that date): "And it doesn't take but a moment to see what belongs on top." It may be a double negative, as he suggested, though we don't usually think of "but" as a negative. It should be, "And it takes but a moment to see what belongs on top." Dan also mentioned the common expression, "I could care less" meaning "I couldn't care less" (meaning I don't care). In this case, I think either way it's sarcastic. This one doesn’t bother me.

Dave DaBee sent in a Slate story about writers' favorite fonts for composing (not print). It's surprising how many stick with Courier after leaving the typewriter behind. Dave also explained the password Blink182: it's "a rock group that gained notoriety for being naked (blurred) in their music videos".

Jan sent a couple of fun items too long to include here, but I found them at www.verballyinsane.com/article.php and www.fun-with-words.com/double_english.html. Great signs on the fun-with-words site, like: "Caution: Water on road during rain." There's a sign about a half mile from where I live, at an intersection in a residential neighborhood, that I can't figure out: "No engine brake." The Ohio DOT explains it (it has to do with a kind of noisy brake on big trucks), but I've never seen this sign anywhere else, and I don't know why it should be there, where I never see big trucks.

Mike Sykes sent a detailed response about "becoming increasingly common", ending with:

In fact the interesting thing about an acceleration is that it can change instantaneously ~ to see this you have only to consider a car slowing to a stop: at the instant it stops the deceleration changes to zero from whatever it was before.

He also says to spell it "co-operate for the sake of clarity" and is thankful we don't have "the wretched diacriticals" anymore. I'd forgotten about that. "Cooperate" used to have two dots over the second O to indicate pronunciation. Regarding hate crimes, when I said law is for actions, not thought, Mike wrote:

Consider that, at least in British law, importance is attached to intent. To steal requires intent to deprive the legitimate owner permanently. Hence taking a car for a joy-ride and then dumping it doesn't constitute theft. And doesn't intent figure in degrees of homicide?

Yep, you are correct. But is it worse to pound somebody because he's gay than it is to pound a stranger for no particular reason? Is non-specific hate better in some way? And when I called "Life is like a football game" a metaphor, Mike reminds me that it's a simile (using "like" or "as"). Was I asleep at the keyboard?

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NEW! SHORT ORDER

Short Order is a new series of my short stories in 5 1/2" x 8 1/2" booklet format. The first two are available now for $5 each (includes mailing).

/// In Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn, a young computer guy who dreams of becoming a big-time gambler sets up web sites for his role model, a real big-time gambler, Stockyard Stan of Kansas City. But when Carl comes up short on his gambling debts, he finds himself wearing concrete boots in the middle of a Kansas cornfield. 26 pages.

/// Still Ridge is about what happens when the old-time moonshine business meets up with a predatory modern bottled water corporation. How far will Kate, a newcomer to the mountains, go to protect the water supply? 22 pages.

GET COMFORTABLE! For women who get massage or chiropractic treatment, who sleep on their stomachs, or have implants, try Rhonda's original Breast Cushion to take the pressure off. Go to www.keithops.us/cushion.

WHEN SONNY GETS BLUE! Check out the video clips of Sonny Robertson and the Howard Street Blues Band at www.sonnyrobertson.com and www.youtube.com/rondaria, with his new original song, "A Different Shade of Blue".

SEARCH IT OUT ON AMAZON : It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter. Proverbs 25:2

The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is not composed of atoms, but stories. The physicist Werner Heisenberg said the universe is not made of matter, but music.

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