THE SKY IS WARMING! THE SKY IS WARMING!

Parvum Opus is mostly about English as she is spoke, and writ, and read, and taught. Since language is about everything, sometimes I write about everything else: education, literature, books, publishing, media, and politics. Science, not so much. But I don't consider anything to be "off topic". So when PO reader Herb H., a scientist, sent the link to The Great Global Warming Swindle, I figured it was worth passing along. As we know very well by now, global warming is a political issue, an emotional issue, and even a moral issue; in fact, actually a matter of faith. Since most of us can't do much about it, outside of buying energy offsets (overturning the old adage, "Everyone talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it"), we now have an opportunity to beat each other up about it. Just sending that link was enough to cause one very nice reader to signoff, though I don't know whether he actually watched the video. Of course there's no reason to spend time every week on something you know in advance you won't always agree with. But the only reason I can think about global warming at all is because I've heard arguments on both sides. I conclude that it's being milked by politicians on all sides, and it's hard to see through the smoke. Pardon the mixed metaphor.

Here's the scientific argument of the video, as best I can follow it.

/// Everyone agrees the earth goes through long, slow cycles of heating and cooling.

/// There is measurable warming on the earth.

/// Possibly the industrial revolution has made some changes to the earth's atmosphere, but there's no way to measure precisely how much or where human activity has caused it.

/// The sun, with sun storms and sun spots and so on, seems to have a larger effect on earth's atmosphere than anything humans could contribute.

/// Examination of the historical record shows that global warming precedes elevated carbon dioxide levels.

/// Carbon dioxide is necessary for life anyway.

To me, the crux of the political argument is whether CO2 precedes or follows warming, though even if higher CO2 levels preceded the warming, it wouldn't prove cause and effect. (Post hoc ergo propter hoc ~ "After this therefore because of this" ~ is a logical fallacy.) Although a lot of people draw this conclusion, the charts I've seen do not show clearly which comes first, over hundreds and thousands of years of measurements. I'd have to see something more precise than a line graph.

Supposedly, if human pollution creates excess carbon dioxide which overheats the earth, it's our fault, thus certain political and economic implications ensue. While it's a good idea to reduce all kinds of pollution, demanding an end to all carbon dioxide emissions is ... politics. Some of you may remember a global cooling scare of a few decades ago, but I ran across a news story from just last summer about Russian scientists who think we can expect global cooling very shortly. Let's just say we still can't predict the weather.

Here are a couple of responses to the PO Extra:

Mike Sykes: Just to show how tricky some of the terminology can be, there was a letter in a New Scientist I was reading this morning that pointed out that the Stern report (UK, on economic implications of climate change) seemed to be confused between current levels and future targets for greenhouse gasses measured as CO2-*equivalent* and historical data which are *actual* CO2 only. And the difference is significant.

Goes on all the time. You can't really form an opinion until you've read http://www.ipcc.ch/SPM2feb07.pdf (18 pages) and I haven't. Even then it's only a "Summary for Policymakers".

David R. (also in England): I have reservations about all the hype on Global Warming caused by human activity. We have been here before. The Romans grew vines on Hadrian's Wall and 500 years ago ships sailed to waters that are now icebound. [And that's why Greenland is called Greenland.] In 1976 I read an article in a Canadian magazine which suggested that the stories about the ozone layers were sponsored by US Government scientists to encourage people to turn in their old refrigerators and buy new environmentally ones thus kick starting the manufacturing industry.

Our Government tells so many lies that I don't believe anything anymore.

I do not deny that there is climate change ~ just the cause of it.

A couple of people pointed out that an MIT scientist in the video named Wunch complained afterward that the program wasn't what he expected, although he did not retract anything he actually said. Apparently no one else interviewed had any complaints. Also, someone said the video is paid for by interested sources. No doubt. So is every other report.

It's instructive to see viewers' emotional and insulting comments on YouTube (the video is on at least a couple of YouTube sites). What's the name-calling all about?

And what about the line, "End of discussion"? It's comparable to the very irritating bumper stickers that say, "God said it, I believe it, that settles it." No room for nuance, or discussion, there. I'm in favor of both science and religion, but "it" requires plenty of discussion, and science has changed over and over again. As has the earth.

I'm feeling optimistic, though. We've been threatened with overpopulation by experts for a long time, and if that's true also, I'm thinking that a global warming disaster could take care of the excess. Nature creates balance.

Which may explain why, while some people are saying polar bears will die off because of melting ice caps, some animal rights people say that a baby polar bear named Knut, rejected by its mother in a Berlin zoo, should be killed since being raised by humans will deprive it of its right to live ~ and die ~ as a wild polar bear. Which it wouldn't have done anyway even if its mother had not rejected it. Excuse me, I have to scream now.

WE'RE ALL BUFFERS ON THIS BUS

We talked about Gypsies in PO 147, also called English Travellers or Irish Travellers. There's a pretty good new dramatic TV series called The Riches about Irish Travellers trying to leave the old life for suburbia (Monday nights on FX). The family (headed by Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver) call non-Gypsies "buffers". I hope to pick up more of the argot in the show. The web site, however, has no useful info along those lines and is too tricky to navigate easily.

DOUBLE FEATURE

Heard somewhere (around St. Patrick's Day): "The [U.S.] features more German-Americans than Irish-Americans." We don't exactly feature them. We have them. "Feature" is one of those words that's become an all-purpose verb for people who are unable to say precisely what they mean.

SO THAT'S HOW IT WORKS

Statement of moral principle by Miss USA (the one who had to go to alcohol rehab, Tara Conner): "The more honest and open I am the less I'll be held accountable for." She's probably right. So the theory is that as long as you tell everything, you won't be responsible for anything you do.

FIRST BOOK

An organization called First Book is sponsoring a project to give books to children, and you can help. Go to First Book and click on the Dr. Seuss Cat in the Hat sign. You can select among Cat in the Hat pictures to color by clicking on color patches. Then enter your name and state and send. For each picture colored, Random House Children's Books will donate a book. You can do as many as you like, up to May 1, 2007. Let your kids do it. It's very easy.

CASTING ASPARAGUS

Dave DaBee said an alternative to "casting nasturtiums" (aspersions) is "casting asparagus", thanks to Pogo. Always carry some with you; nasturtiums or asparagus, either one, so you won't have to cast aspersions empty-handed.

MR. LANGUAGE PERSON

Take a look at classic Dave Barry, "Mr. Language Person":

Join us now for another rendition of "Ask Mr. Language Person," the only grammar column mentioned by name in the Bible.... Some words of wisdomality.

Welcome to ''Ask Mister Language Person,'' written by the foremost leading world authority on the proper grammatorical usagality of English, both orally and in the form of words. In this award-winning column, which appears nocturnally, we answer the grammar and vocabulary questions that are on the minds of many Americans just before they pass out.

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HUR HERALD

Parvum Opus is now being carried by the Hur Herald, a web newspaper from Calhoun County, West Virginia. See Editor Bob Weaver's interview with me (February 10, 2007 entry), and the PO every week in Columns.

NEW! SHORT ORDER

Short Order is a new series of my short stories in 5 1/2" x 8 1/2" booklet format. The first two are available now for $5 each (includes mailing).

/// In Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn, a young computer guy who dreams of becoming a big-time gambler sets up web sites for his role model, a real big-time gambler, Stockyard Stan of Kansas City. But when Carl comes up short on his gambling debts, he finds himself wearing concrete boots in the middle of a Kansas cornfield. 26 pages.

/// Still Ridge is about what happens when the old-time moonshine business meets up with a predatory modern bottled water corporation. How far will Kate, a newcomer to the mountains, go to protect the water supply? 22 pages.

THIS IS REALLY NEW! For women who get massage or chiropractic treatment, who sleep on their stomachs, or have implants, try Rhonda's original Breast Cushion to take the pressure off. Go to www.keithops.us/cushion.

WHEN SONNY GETS BLUE! Check out the video clips of Sonny Robertson and the Howard Street Blues Band at www.sonnyrobertson.com and www.youtube.com/rondaria, with his new original song, "A Different Shade of Blue".

Check out the new "Someone went to Heaven and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" shirts in the Parvum Opus CafePress shop, plus a new Parvum Opus mouse pad! Now you can buy neat products with the Parvum Opus / KeithOps Catti logo at CafePress.com/parvumopus.

SEARCH IT OUT ON AMAZON : It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter. Proverbs 25:2

The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is not composed of atoms, but stories. The physicist Werner Heisenberg said the universe is not made of matter, but music.

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