PARVUM OPUS

 

Number 198

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EVERYONE CAN LEARN ENGRISH

 

Jan G. found some fabulous Engrish on her trip to China. These read like poetry.

 

A fire warning sign:

 

            Potential danger is worse than naked fire.

            Precaution before salvation.

            Fire can be devastating.

 

From restaurant menus:

 

            Stewed dork with minced garlic

            Cake (which is) fragrant and crisp glibly

            Retreat and think of cakes

            The sole of a sock is crisp

            Blue and green propeller

            Make dried bamboo shoots secretly peanut in the south garden

            Purpose-built dried shrimps of south garden

            The refined small fish of south garden is dry

            Make beans peel one in bittern of south garden

            Fragrant kernel of corn of explosion

            Do the bamboo shoot and braise chickens yellowly

 

GROWING DOCTORS

 

Bob O. found this billboard with a picture of a doctor in a health group:

 

One of 40

Excellent Doctors

And Growing!

 

That phrasing seems off to me, suggesting that the doctor is growing, rather than the group. But in terms of conveying the ad message, it does seem to "work" and other phrasing I thought of sounded more clunky or would use up more billboard space for words, taking away space for the picture, or causing a smaller font, which would make less readable by a passing motorist.

 

And thus causing more accidents. Which reminds me of a great travel book, happily still in print, Flattened Fauna, which answers the question, "What was that?" by helping you identify dead animals on the road. Useful, but appalling to some (see pall below). One Amazon reviewer wrote:

 

Indeed, a culture so in love with huge smoking pieces of metal thinks it's "evolved" to the point of no return ~ producing this book. Dispeakable in every aspect.

 

"Dispeakable"? Anyway, I assume this reviewer never travels in automobiles. He or she must be a vegetarian. Bill reminded me of the "I'm a vegetarian." "Oh? I'm a humanitarian." joke.

 

DOZENALISM

 

Regarding the Euroenglish joke, and Esperanto, Mike Sykes wrote:

 

Every generation invents new jokes on the subject (and reinvents old ones as well). What amazes me is that people still write to newspapers advocating spelling reform, as well as various other lost causes, such as Esperanto, calendar reform, dozenalism , daylight saving, to name but a few.... There would be more profit in getting more adept at hexadecimal ~ I've sometimes wished I was. Coined only around 1954, in the computing context, according to the OED Online. However it doesn't recognise dozenal, nor should it in my view. Useful for packaging bottles though.

 

I took a numbers class in college that made us work with other number bases, like 12. I understand the logic but it's hard to change your habits, and I don't intend to as regards dozenalism, and I don't even want to think about hexadecimalism.

 

SOMEONE SAID

 

(O) "They turn a different cheek to it." The speaker meant they ignore what he says or don't believe it. At first, I thought the speaker meant "turn the other cheek" as in the original, which means don't take revenge, but it could have been a reference to, let's say, a lower cheek. We always assume Jesus meant turn the other side of your face for smiting, but maybe he meant to turn another cheek for an ass-kicking too. Or we could interpret that passage as meaning two cheeks are enough for smiting. After that, you're on your own.

 

(O) From an ad for a course of business advice from Donald Trump University: "Disclaimer: Your earnings may not be as lucrative as Donald Trump's." Technically this is correct; earnings can be lucrative if they also earn interest or are invested well. But I think what's meant is that you might not earn as much money as the Donald, or your business undertakings might not be as lucrative as his. I think he deals mostly in real estate, not in investment or money markets, where you'd get lucrative (profitable) earnings.

 

(O) Twice in one night I heard people called "disenfranchised" who are not, i.e., they haven't had the right to vote taken away from them. They were called the "disenchanted and disenfranchised" and the "poor and disenfranchised," that is, the annoyed and the broke. Of course, even they get only one vote. If they're citizens, ideally. (Vote early and vote often!) The implication is that these groups of people, whoever they are, do not have total control over their lives, like everyone else does. Don't you? But maybe the speakers meant they didn't own a franchise. Everyone should have a franchise, and a lucrative one at that.

 

(O) "He didn't want to put a pail over it..." The speaker meant "put a pall over it", as in casting a cloud over whatever was going on, which I neglected to write down. A pall is "a cover for a coffin, bier, or tomb, often made of black, purple, or white velvet," and thus also means "a gloomy effect or atmosphere." I guess if you could throw a pail over something that would create a gloomy effect on the inside, however entertaining it might be from the outside.

 

HOW FAR IS FAR?

 

Garner's Usage Tip of the Day says that "far distance is redundant. In most contexts, each word implies the other. A more idiomatic phrasing is always available."

 

I can't agree with him here. "Far distance" is not more redundant than "long distance" as suggested. We can have short or long distances, and we could say "near distance" as in "My vision isn't so good in the near distance anymore" or perhaps "The painter mastered perspective in the near distance."

 

On the other hand, Garner also sent this quote:

 

"A recent authoritative study has shown that this distinction between 'shall' and 'will' is not now and never has been consistently made by the 'better people' either in England or in the United States." Robert T. Harris & James L. Jarrett, Language and Informal Logic 82 (1956).

 

I'm glad to hear that. Now I'd like to find an authoritative study on the subjunctive (e.g., "If I were" vs. "If I was"). Reading old texts shows that educated people haven't always made that distinction either.

 

SOLIDARY

 

My Dutch-speaking student said they have a word, "solidary," which doesn't seem to have an exact equivalent in English. It looks like "solitary" but it's closer to "having solidarity" in meaning, but that's not it either. It means something like empathetic or being in sympathy with, but as far as I can tell, it's closest to the Spanish word we have adopted, simpatico, meaning "of like mind or temperament; compatible. Having attractive qualities; pleasing." I didn't find "solidary" in online Dutch-English dictionaries but she says they use it a lot.

 

THE WAY WE LIKE 'EM

 

Dave daBee wrote:         

 

When Ginny wants to veg out after work in the early evening, she watches ET (Entertainment Tonight). On tonight's show, talking about some studboy on the cover of Variety, the announcer gushed about the photo session:

            "Making the superstar larger than life, the photographer blew up the image onto a life size canvas."

  

Hmm. Maybe the canvas was life-size in regard to ordinary people, and the stud is actually quite tiny in person. Reminds me of what someone said about one of the first railroad engines: Large as life and twice as natural!

 

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SEARCH IT OUT

Proverbs 25:2

It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.

 

The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is not composed of atoms, but stories.

The physicist Werner Heisenberg said the universe is not made of matter, but music.

 

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Link here to look for books on Amazon.com!

 

 

 

 

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