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EVERYBODY HAS A BOOK INSIDE ...

...but they won't write it. Here's a quote from Garner's daily usage tip:

"The inclination to write is common. Sometimes every other stranger who hears that I write confesses a desire, even a plan, to do the same. It doesn't surprise me that so few of them ever follow through. Consider how much is required. Time on the grand scale: years of patient practice to develop craft. Time on the ordinary scale: a few daily minutes or hours, getting a draft down, rethinking it, polishing. Concentration: the right environment, and freedom from distracting worry. And above all, conviction: the belief that the words on the page matter and the confidence to hang on to that belief in the face of a skeptical world." ~ Bruce Holland Rogers, Word Work 181 (2002).

Every once in a while someone asks me about helping them write a book. Usually it doesn't come to anything.

Years ago a man with an idea that would change our entire economy ~ something to do with either raising or eliminating the inheritance tax ~ wanted me to work on his book with him on spec. Inexperienced though I was, I turned him down.

A woman told me that she could write an unbelievable book because she had lots of personal problems. I believed her; I didn't wait to hear them.

Another woman who'd worked in various capacities in the travel industry wanted to round out her career with an airport book of humorous anecdotes about flying. I did some research for her, collected material for sample chapters, wrote an outline and intro, and solicited some interest from the Maury Povich show. Then she faded, either because she realized more work would be required from her (she worked sometimes as a court reporter by turning on a recorder in the courtroom, paying someone else to transcribe the recording, and collecting the fee), or because she died. I never tried to find out.

A couple of weeks ago a woman called me with an idea for a "story" that would make readers aware that before the Nazis appropriated it, the swastika had a venerable history among the Hindus; her mother uses the swastika design in her devotional paraphernalia. Well, she didn't actually have a plot in mind, she just wanted to write about the swastika. She wanted someone to do more research, I gave her some research tips, she hasn't called back.

If you ever think you have an idea for a good book ~ sit down and write something.

SOUND BITES

Kim Komando, who has a radio program on computers, said what was called the "slave drive" is now the "secondary drive" (and master drive is now primary drive) not because it's technically clearer but because "slave drive" offended somebody. Why?

Dennis Prager, radio host, said "I don't think husbands and wives should argue verbally." Well, the alternative is physically. He meant "orally". "Verbally" is with words, which can be written, and he did suggest instant messaging. "Orally" means by mouth. Remember the old line from Samuel Goldwyn: "An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."

UFOs (Unidentified Faulty Oration)

"I've been so lucky to grace the cover of FHM magazine three times!" You may say someone else graces a cover, but this model ~ who felt "honored" that a football player grabbed her rear ~ probably doesn't know what "grace" means or that it's not tasteful to flatter yourself that way, like those invitations that read, "You are graciously invited..."

"I have been given a cause, not wittingly or not wantingly..." "Wittingly" is OK, it means knowingly, but there isn't a "wantingly".

"...it would be chaos and expensive." We often say something would be "chaos" instead of saying it would be chaotic. That's OK. But it's clumsy to pair the noun with an adjective in this parallel structure.

"...working toward a lastable peace." Whoever said this never heard or read "lastable" before and should have KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) tattooed someplace visible, i.e. use words you really know.

"You can't analogize this war with WWII." "Analogize" is a word, but it's an intransitive verb meaning it cannot have an object ("this war"). I guess you have to analogize aimlessly. However, there's no reason to reach for a word like this when "compare" is ready and waiting and correct. KISS again.

YOU SAID

From Anne DaBee:

New thing to fuss about (for me) ~ "A planeload of refugees from Lebanon WERE unloaded..." ~ shouldn't it be "A planeload...WAS...unloaded?" ... I was heartened, though, when I attended a recent open house at the private school where several of my grandgirls are/have been students. We were visiting a language arts classroom and watched a really great presentation by the students, after which the teacher asked for questions from the parents/grandparents. I asked if anyone taught parsing and diagramming any more, and was pleasantly surprised to have the class, en masse, groan. We all laughed, and the teacher said, "Does that answer your question?" He wouldn't have been permitted to teach that in a public school, at least not around here. ...

Of course "a planeload ... was unloaded." It's true that the Brits treat collective nouns as plural ("the faculty were," e.g.) but we do not, so if the reporter was American, he or she was wrong. If British ... maybe not. And I'm in favor of sentence diagramming. It clarifies the logic of grammar in a way the memorization of terms and rules does not, especially for students who like math and logic or who learn more visually.

Bill R. wrote about "red up":

Didn't use it in speech, but have seen it as "redd up" or "rett up". In the wilds of northwest Ohio, it's "commuppence," but we do do things up brown. (I read that a really bad Australian dinner is described as "enough to choke a brown dog." No idea why only brown dogs are susceptible.)

Mike Sykes said he has free access to the OED (lucky him) but didn't find "red up". It's an Americanism though it has a British/Scottish history.

Regarding the dearth of proofreading, Bill sent

... an opinion piece from the The Chronicle of Higher Education ~ a conceit remaining from my one-time idea of teaching at the collegiate level. It's clear to me now that there is no place in academe for an almost-dead, heterosexual, white, male, military historian ~ that's 5 1/2 strikes out of six.

I don't think Bill is almost dead, and I should think a military historian would be real useful right now. Anyway, it's a good article but you have to subscribe to the Chronicle to read "Where Have All the Proofreaders Gone?" by former editor in chief of the Encyclopaedia Britannica, Robert McHenry. Here's one quote from the article:

My understanding and enjoyment of what is supposed to be on the page are increasingly subverted by what actually is.

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The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is not composed of atoms, but stories.

The physicist Werner Heisenberg said the universe is not made of matter, but music.

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