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FIGHTIN' WORDS

A play opening locally is called "N*W*C – The Race Show". N stands for the bad N word, W for wetback, and C for chink. But where are the bad words for white people (let alone female people)? I know the N*W*C people have some. They're holding back on us. Most rap songs provide the bad words for women, but this show is just about race. "Honky" just isn't bad enough. There have to be more. My father certainly had more than one term for N*W*C's. I almost signed up for a drawing for free tickets to this play using the name White Devil or Blue-Eyed Devil, but that wasn't bad enough.

FLAG WAVING

As you know, this week many people in California and elsewhere protested the possible tightening of enforcement of immigration laws. They're so grateful and happy to be here that some of them demonstrated waving the flag of ~ a foreign country.

The language angle on this issue is one I've written about before in PO 93. Here's what Fran Lebowitz said on the subject in a 1997 article:

If you want to ensure generation after generation of Mexican gardeners in California, you insist on bilingual education in the grammar schools. You can pretend that you would just as soon have your cardiologist speak to you in Spanish, but if you don't speak Spanish, you would just as soon not.

And on the subject of language, why do some Hispanic politicians and others refer to Mexicans as "la raza"? This means "the race". Mexican is a nationality, not a race. Mexicans are mixed Indian, European, and other, sort of like American, and by American I mean not only United Statesian, but North and South American. This isn't a race issue, but the politicians perhaps want to stir up more destructive and in this case irrelevant racial feeling in the United States, for their own ends.

Also, a news commentator said: "The guest worker program is something Americans are obviously enthralled with." This means we're spellbound or captivated by it. Not quite. However, since the word comes from an old English word thrall meaning slave, perhaps we are held captive by this issue, in a way.

One of the non-language issues is, why aren't the illegal immigrants protesting in Mexico, about Mexico's inability to create a functional economy? Could all that energy from all those hard-working people be harnessed productively at home?

By the way, here are a few things my legal students like about the U.S.:

~ Professional sports that usually don't result in injury or deaths among the fans.

~ A post office that works without bribery and usually without mail theft.

~ Good roads.

~ The stores have sales.

~ More educational materials for children, such as biographies of famous people written specifically for children.

~ Big, beautiful, clean 18-wheelers.

BUT NOT REALLY

On a decorating show, the host said about some chairs, "You can virtually paint them any color you want to." But can you actually paint them any color? This use of "virtually" is nothing but mindless filler. "Virtual" means, of course, effectively but not essentially; I like the 1913 Webster's definition: Having the power of acting or of invisible efficacy without the agency of the material or sensible part.

POD PEOPLE

A foot doctors' office has a big sign that says "Foot Doctors". Why not "Podiatrists"? Perhaps they're afraid of being confused with "pedophiles", like the Welsh pediatrician. "Pedophile" isn't really a good word for child molester anyway, because the root "phil" means love, and rape isn't love.

JUST LIKE

I know a man who, when called upon to say a prayer at church, throws in the word "just" about twice in every sentence: "Lord, we just ask you to just bless us and just etc. etc. etc." The effect is peculiar, sort of humble, sort of lame. You could substitute "like": "Lord, we like ask you to like bless us etc." Back in the day, it would have been just plain "uh". All these verbal delaying tactics suggest someone who's not prepared to speak, but "just" and "like" also suggest a lack of certainty about what the speaker intends. One just ~ merely ~ approximates an intention, or, like ~ sort of ~ means it. "Uh" is better.

TOO MUCH INFORMATION

Traffic sign: "Hill blocks view." Since when do we have to be notified that we can't see over hills, around corners, and through solid matter?

INCREDULOUS

On a news talk show, a woman kept saying, "It's incredulous!" She meant "incredible"; "incredulous" means believing something too easily.

A co-panelist jumped in a said, "It's incredible" (or not). Some people think it's not only rude to correct someone else's speech, but also rude to use a word correctly in the same conversation, so as not to embarrass the other. I don't agree. For one thing, it would be way too much trouble to attempt to duplicate other people's errors, on top of one's own.

PURELY GRAMMAR

TV ad: "One of the nation's strongest and highly rated insurance companies."

The parallel construction in this fragment combines the two adverbs, strongest and highly rated. They are not parallel; it should read "strongest and most highly rated." If you break the phrase apart, the weakness of the phrase becomes apparent even when the flawed parallel structure is eliminated:

One of the nation's strongest insurance companies.

One of the nation's highly rated insurance companies.

The second phrase here isn't wrong, but it's probably not what they mean, since the superlative was used in "strongest"; why descend to only "highly rated"?

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