PARVUM OPUS

 

 

 

START SPREADING THE WORDS

 

Following up on last week's euphemism/dysphemism note, I'm mounting a campaign to introduce the neologisms pheme and phemism into the language. A pheme is a word of simple truth, without a good ("eu") or bad ("dys") connotation. Maybe someday we'll have departments of phemology, staffed by phemologists. They'll probably screw it up, but having a job will keep them off the streets.

 

WHO OHM I

 

On a sidewalk in my neighborhood, someone wrote in the wet cement "WHO OHM". When you're walking you can see that "WHO" is "OHM" upside-down. This could be a trigger for a fruitful philosophical meditation, except that an ohm is "the standard unit in the measure of electrical resistance" (named for the German physicist Georg Simon Ohm), not a "syllable or ejaculation used by Hindus and Buddhists in religious rites; orig. among the Hindus an exclamation of assent, like Amen, then an invocation, and later a symbol of the trinity formed by Vishnu, Siva, and Brahma" (i.e., OM). However, it might be interesting to experiment with OHM as a mantra. See what happens.

 

OVERHEARD, UNDERTHOUGHT

 

From the news: A Hamas student leader who wants to unify Palestinians under a Muslim flag said, "We reject all Western ideas, all Communist ideas, and all other ideas."

 

Bet I could make them think another thought. It's easy, like, try not to think about an elephant. See, you can't not do it without plugging your ears or covering your eyes. Too late here, of course ~ if you've gotten this far, you've already seen the word "elephant".

 

SEA LIONS AND SOUP ~ WHO KNEW?

 

From NPR: "Sea lions leaving a trail of won ton destruction on the beach."

 

I kept listening to find out if this was a lead-up to a joke, but it wasn't. Just a glitch by a tired, hungry, hallucinating radio reader.

 

MODEST IN VAIN?

 

"Jack Benny played a self-deprecating, vain character opposite of what he was in real life ~ the most modest of men."

 

Or maybe he played a self-aggrandizing, humble character, while in real life he was the most conceited of men.

 

MAKES MY TEETH HURT

 

"Here's a misnomer: many children have had dental implants."

 

Misnomer means "wrong name" or "wrong word", not "surprising fact". In the same discussion:

 

"Because of the techniques we have now, dental implants can be a pleasurable experience."

 

I don't believe it for a minute. Serves me right for listening to a radio program on dentistry.

 

LEARN THE LINGO

 

Browsing the Web for the name of someone I used to work with, I chanced upon a couple of items of interest. A speaker on the history of the Hispanic culture and cultural diversity listed 13 points of cultural communication from the U.S. Army field survival manual:

 

Accept, respect and adapt to their ways.

Avoid the cookie cutter approach.

Expect differences.

Demonstrate courtesy and respect.

Cultural exchange is good.

Be polite and don't rush.

Don't offend.

Learn the lingo.

Watch and learn before you do and say.

Trust but verify.

Trust is key ~ If you make promises ~ keep them.

Practice tolerance.

Don't push ~ respect privacy.

 

I think using the Army Field Manual demonstrates quite a bit of diversity. Another speaker at this same event, discussing southwestern pueblos, translated the meaning of each of the Eight Northern Pueblos:

 

Tesuque Pueblo ~ Cottonwood Tree place.

Pojoaque Pueblo ~ Place to drink water.

Nambe Pueblo ~ Pueblo of the roundish ruins.

San Ildefonso Pueblo ~ Where the water cuts down through.

Santa Clara Pueblo ~ Valley of the roses.

Ohkay Owingeh Pueblo ~ Strong people.

Picuris Pueblo ~ Those who paint.

Taos Pueblo ~ Place of the red willows.

 

But wait a minute ~ two of these are Spanish names: San Ildefonso is Saint Ildephonsus and Santa Clara is Saint Clare. These pueblos have other names in Indian languages, so possibly the speaker attached translations of other names to the commonly used Spanish names.

 

ENGLISH LANGUAGE STUDIES

 

Bob O. said he has a friend in prison who's turning his life around and starting to write, among other things, so he wants to know how to improve his writing, and could I recommend one basic book? The problem is, there isn't one book that will turn you into a good writer. If it were easy, I wouldn't still be scratching my head in Parvum Opus. It's like the visitor to one of the stately homes of England who asked the gardener how they achieved such a beautiful lawn. He said, "First, you start about 300 years ago."

 

Furthermore, what are the "basics"? Grammar? Vocabulary? Logic? Language skill isn't something you pick up with a couple of textbooks and an English class. It is a lifelong study. But I wrote down the following advice (here revised) for Bob's friend. If any of you have some more good tips, let me know. (Bob sent his friend a copy of Strunk.)

 

General advice

To write well, you must read a lot, and this means reading excellent writing, not just newspapers and magazines: Always be reading something. Start with the best writers of English fiction and essays, the ones they teach in school. Also, if you learn to read the older books, which have more difficult sentence structure and unfamiliar vocabulary, you'll find it easy to understand contemporary writing. Shakespeare and the Bible are classic examples of literature that has formed the style of many English writers and orators. It's a little like learning to drive a car with a manual transmission; after that, driving an automatic is simple.

 

Also, you have to read literature to get a sense of what your story means in the context of, well, the rest of the world.

 

Learning another language always helps your English, and this must include grammar, not just street conversation. Any language will help, but learning Latin is a great foundation ~ not easy, though.

 

A basic understanding of logical argument is essential to clear writing, and clarity is essential for good writing. Fred recommends The Trivium, The Liberal Arts of Logic, Grammar, and Rhetoric by Sr. Miriam Joseph, CSC, PhD, and Historians' Fallacies by David Hackett Fischer.

 

And remember, even if you didn't do well in school, the best-educated people are ultimately self-educated. School is only a beginning.

 

Standard and all-around references on English usage; old and new editions are OK

Modern English Usage

by H. W. Fowler

 

The Elements of Style

by Strunk & White

 

Garner's Modern American Usage

 

Merriam-Webster English Usage

 

For style details such as capitalization and punctuation, plus grammar

Chicago Manual of Style

Used by many publishers.

 

The Associated Press Stylebook

Used by newspapers.

 

Two good online dictionaries

www.dict.org

Good for history of words as well as definitions using examples ~ understanding the history of the English language and word parts helps with vocabulary.

 

www.yourdictionary.com

Includes a sound link for word pronunciation.

 

Old-fashioned readers for elementary school, but still excellent for basic studies, better than modern textbooks; often used today in home schooling

McGuffey's Eclectic Readers

Buy the boxed set of 7 books; many classic writers are in these books, so if you like something, you can find books by that writer. Note: I just heard on the radio today that some studies show that students who are given more difficult assignments actually learn more and score higher on tests than those who get easy assignments.

 

I haven't read these but they are probably useful (and no offense meant)

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Grammar and Style

English Grammar for Dummies

 

COREX

 

Son Foy sent this correction on "Kafka, the German writer":

 

Kafka was a Czech who wrote in German. Though I guess that would make him a German writer as well.

 

 

 

 

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