NOT A WORD

In the August 29, 2005 issue of The New Yorker, Henry Alford quotes New Columbia Encyclopedia editor Richard Stein: "It was an old tradition in encyclopedias to put in a fake entry to protect your copyright." (p. 32) The New Oxford American Dictionary has done the same thing, including a made-up word with definition, which turns out to be "esquivalience". The NOAD editor-in-chief, Erin McKean, said, "Its inherent fakeitude is fairly obvious."

But why is esquivalience more fakish than the other possible fakes, such as electrofish? It's not enough to say it's too long or too elaborate, as the panel of investigators/guessers said. The editorial explanation is that the letter L doesn't make etymological sense, given the fake definition, "the willful avoidance of one's official responsibilities." If it were esquivarience, says McKean, it might mean "slight differences between racehorses." Varience, however, would be spelled variance, and equi, not esqui, is the prefix meaning horse.

DENIZENS

The NOAD daily word e-mail, by the way, sent a partial list of denizen names, i.e., what you call people from various places. Someone from Arkansas could be an Arkansan, Arkansawyer, or Arkie. But someone from Ohio could be an Ohioan or a Buckeye. Someone from Connecticut could be a Nutmegger, or a Connecticuter, which is, of course, cuter.

And the cities: Buffalo, Buffalonian. Perhaps the plural could be Buffaloni? Las Vegas: Las Vegan (sounds like they're all strict vegetarians and you know they're not). Phoenix: Phoenician, oh yeah. Lebanon, Pennsylvania: not what you think, it's Lebanonian.

Some of the labels are attributed to the U.S. Government Printing Office Manual of Style, but I couldn't find such a list on that web site.

NOW WHAT?

My fascination with words stems from my constant effort to figure out what's going on, like General Halftrack in Beetle Bailey, when he comes upon the tail end of some peculiar scene. There was a logical progression, but he missed it, and is always looking in a window saying, "Now what?" I try to answer that question by analyzing language. Language does have its limitations, as far as grasping reality goes. But it's what we've got.

Again from my NOAD e-mail:

"There is no more irritating fellow than the man who tries to settle an argument about communism, or justice, or liberty, by quoting from Webster."

~ Mortimer Adler, "How to Read a Dictionary" (1941), in Words, Words, Words About Dictionaries 53, 59 (Jack C. Gray ed., 1963).

And so:

EVERYTHING I KNOW I LEARNED FROM MARK TWAIN AND MISS MARPLE

A few weeks ago, Canadian Muslims issued a fatwa*, or religious decree, decrying religion-based terrorism, saying it goes against Muslim teaching. The problem is, it doesn't. Because of the Islamic principle of nasikh, which I explained in PO 131, it is impossible to say that Islam is opposed to violence against nonbelievers, though many individual Muslims may be. It is even impossible to argue that the passages in the Koran that call for violence are really metaphors for the spiritual struggle ~ i.e. jihad means fighting against one's own sins ~ because Mohammed himself was historically a fighter, a warrior, a killer. He wrote literally, not figuratively, about killing nonbelievers.

Then there's the bomber who escaped England and is now in Italy. His Italian lawyer says he didn't really intend to kill anyone, just to scare them.

So are you gonna believe them, or your lying eyes? Or ears?

I think it was Mark Twain who wrote that murder leads to a general degradation of character, and is soon followed by stealing, then lying, and eventually spitting on sidewalks. Something like that. And as Agatha Christie's Miss Marple said (as played perfectly by the late Joan Hickson), "Oh, my dear, you mustn't believe what people tell you. I haven't for years."

Some people say the reason we haven't been attacked again since 9/11, like England and other countries, is that the Muslims in the United States are so well assimilated and appreciate the country they've chosen to live in. I'm not so sure. Plenty of native-born Americans don't feel that way.

Increase Your Word Power!

Islam

Submit/surrender, to Allah, and presumably also to Mohammed and Islam. I once worked with a woman who said that she had a problem with the word "submit" on computer links. I know the feeling.

jihad

Islamic holy war

fatwa

Islamic religious decree, as when Salmon Rusdie was sentenced to death for writing The Satanic Verses (1988).

taqiyya

Concealment; lying in the interests of self-preservation and the propagation of Islam

kitman

Mental reservation; telling the truth, but not the whole truth, with an intention to mislead, in the interests of etc.

Partly from The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam (and the Crusades) by Robert Spencer). Fun review of Spencer's book from revivingislam.com (which was temporarily shut down): "May Allah rip out his spine from his back and split his brains in two, and then put them both back, and then do it over and over again. Amen."

I love the literary life.

HONKINGDUCK.COM

I just discovered a fantastic web site with complete sound clips of hundreds of old songs on 78 rpm records, recorded from 1924 to 1946, honkingduck.com. I was looking for "Sweet Fern" by the Carter Family, and found it! Amazing. Some wonderful stuff here. Go listen and see where we came from, lots of us did, anyway. My mom's family listened to the Carter Family on a wind-up Victrola, and she used to sing those old songs around the house. Music ranges from old Scots/Irish fiddle dance tunes to early forms of the blues to original songs by the Carter Family, and more.

JUST CURIOUS

What are you reading? Or what summer reading have you just finished?

MORE COREX

Re "shiver me timbers": Mike S. pointed out that "timbers" are the pieces of wood composing the ribs, bends, or frames of a ship's hull, not the masts, as I thought (without bothering to look it up).

Bernadette Roberts Workshop

I am organizing a workshop with Bernadette Roberts, a remarkable Christian contemplative and author of three books:

What is Self? : A Study of the Spiritual Journey in Terms of Consciousness

The Path to No-Self: Life at the Center

The Experience of No-Self: A Contemplative Journey

This workshop, called The Essence of Christian Mysticism, will be held on the weekend of May 5-7, 2006, in Loveland, Ohio. For more information, go to Bernadette Roberts Workshop. The site may be updated from time to time.

Link here to look for books on Amazon.com!

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