HAPPY WINTER

One more rant about "holidays": A TV car commercial said, "It would be nice to get a BMW for the holidays." Yeah, it would. But let us remember that gift-giving is not associated with every holiday, it's traditionally Christmas, because of the gifts of the Magi. But it's profitable to step up the gift mentality for every possible holiday. This month we have Martin Luther King Day and Presidents Day (an insignificant blend of Washington's and Lincoln's birthdays to create another three-day weekend). So where's my BMW? I'm waiting for a BMW to become a part of my faith tradition. So far, however, my faith tradition runs to after-Christmas sales. I saw a spindly artificial Christmas tree on sale cheap next to a spindly artificial "Winter Tree" with little optical filament lights. It wasn't even a "Holiday" tree. You couldn't get more minimalist unless you set a dry stick on fire and called it a Winter tree. Which does sound festive.

PARAGRAPH INDENTS

We learned early in life to indent paragraphs. Since a paragraph is supposed to be a briefly developed but more or less whole thought, and distinct from other thoughts, this helps our understanding of what we read. If you have the space, you may leave a blank space between paragraphs and not indent, which is what I do here. But I've seen evil graphic designers do neither. Maybe they think that since in many paragraphs, the last line does not go all the way to the right margin, any further visual distinction is unnecessary. They're wrong, simply because some last lines do go to the margin. Some graphic designers literally see the text as a big gray block when they're designing, and don't think about ease of reading.

DECISIVE

Americans say "make a decision" while the British say "take a decision". "Make" sounds like the decision comes from within, it is created by the person who decides. "Take" sounds like a person just picks a possibility that already exists outside him. I don't know if "take a decision" really has that sense to the people who use it, but that's how it sounds over here. Any thoughts on this difference?

I believe the British also say "take a meeting" where Americans say "have a meeting", although the British usage has cropped up among trendy Americans.

I won't go as far as some people do to posit any very deep meaning to these small differences. For instance, someone once wrote about the difference in use of "can" and "may". Americans will ask a waiter, "May I have a menu?" while the English will say "Can I have a menu?" Supposedly, Americans think that they know it's possible to get a menu (the waiter can or is able to give them one). They are politely asking if the waiter will do them the favor of bringing one. The English assume that the waiter is willing and expects to serve, and are asking if there is any reason the waiter cannot bring a menu. The writer deduced that this all stems from the differences in class structure.

ADVANCED SEARCHING

Robert Z. sent this in answer to my speculation about the possibility of searching the Web for images and music:

"Will the technology ever advance to the point where it could be possible, for example, to search the Web

for a person's face?"

Maybe:

www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,66185,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_4

"Could it be possible to hum a few bars and search for a melody?"

Yes... in fact a UK company has been doing this for years for cell phone users:

www.shazam.com/uk/do/home

Amazing stuff. Thanks, RZ.

Do You Speak American

A TV special called "Do You Speak American" followed Robert MacNeil around the country as he interviewed various Americans who all sound different, yet still speak comprehensible English. The show also reported on the Texas border town that not only made Spanish official, it made English illegal. It also passed laws subverting U.S. immigration law. I don't think we want to go there.

PANDERING

A news report said someone was arrested for "pandering sexually oriented material". Wrong. "Pandering" does not mean selling or distributing. It means pimping. One can pander to someone's desires, though only the lower ones. Dict.org says, "From Pandarus, a leader in the Trojan army, who is represented by Chaucer and Shakespeare as having procured for Troilus the possession of Cressida." A criminal cannot pander chocolate, for instance, but he could pander to your lust for chocolate if you live in a world where you think chocolate is "sinful".

ALMOST RIGHT AND ALL WRONG

These came from a Web site about ear candles. Funny, because these are mistakes are typical of people who don't quite hear or remember words exactly.

>>> "non-evasive medical procedure". It should be "non-invasive". There's a huge difference between "invade" and "evade". Just ask any soldier.

>>> "no contradictions are known to date". It should be "no contraindications" ~ indicators against a procedure, not speech (dicta) against a procedure.

I CAN'T KEEP UP

According to Briana in West Virginia, writing to Dear Abby, the euphemism "hearing-impaired" is no longer so acceptable, although it appeared to replace the formerly less acceptable "deaf". Now "deaf" is back in, or the lengthy "person with hearing loss". The reason, wrote Briana, is that many deaf people, including herself, do not consider themselves disabled. It would be interesting to do a survey among deaf people who were born without hearing and those who lost their hearing later in life, after knowing what it is to hear music, and the ocean, and whispers. Would they all feel that deafness is not a disability? How many faculties would Briana be willing to do without before she began to feel she was missing something of value?

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I have a contribution in a new anthology about the "center of life", Changing Course: Women's Inspiring Stories of Menopause, Midlife, and Moving Forward, edited by Yitta Halberstam.

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