FUCK YOU NIDIA.
I know everybody in the States was already aware of what a dumb cunt Nidia is, but I'm still behind. Being canadian, I just saw Tough Enough episode 3 – HHH yelling at everybody was alright, but not as harsh as I was hoping. Still, good way to start the show. And then what happened? Piles and piles of shit.
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"You try to go home to see your family, but there's too much blood on the knob..."
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I forgot, this show isn't about wrestling, it's a "reality show". And the reality is that Nidia and Chris frolic playfully in the hot tub, but Nidia isn't sure if she should distance herself from Chris, and blah blah blah. Then she gets upset because he dunked her head underwater in a desperate attempt to get her to shut her fat face. Chris: 1, Nidia: 0.
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I don't wanna hear about each contestant's secret opinions of each other, I don't wanna watch them dancing, I wanna watch these people learn how to wrestle. Christ. So while watching RAW tonight, my friends and I came up with a further course of action for our perfect Tough Enough contestant:
While everybody else filed away to go to the hot tub, what you'd wanna do is pushups. Do pushups as they leave and sarcastically tell them to enjoy their soak. That should be enough to get them to stop speaking to you. Then mutter under your breath that they're all pussies while you start doing sit-ups.
Later, when everyone else is asleep, hit the hot tub. But don't relax; sit there with your arms crossed and claim that you're only doing it 'cause it's good for your muscles. Then after you exit, piss in the tub.
Any time you get asked about the other contestants, just say "Frankly, I hate all these people. I'm going to kick their asses." Say it again and again so it's the only soundbite MTV has. Start sneaking dirt into Nidia's food and bugs into her shampoo. Track down some laxatives. "Accidentally" kick other contestants in the balls.
I gotta say, I'm really not liking the direction Tough Enough is taking. I don't care about these people, I don't even know who they are. I could care less what they think of each other, I just want to watch them cry and bleed while years of dues-paying are piled onto them in front of a camera. I don't see how anyone who comes out of this program is going to gain fan respect without a hell of a catchphrase. Nidia's can be "I just wish he'd be himself! He's so phony! Hahaha! I'm fucking stupid!"
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HHH should have snuck back into the house with a chair and given them all bloody concussions, then made them wrestle in an acidic hot sauce concoction for eighteen hours. Mick Foley used to do that every day in front of crowds of homeless people for free. Man, fuck Tough Enough.
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Mick Foley writing his next children's book:
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Mick Foley's Crimson Flow for our Lord Below.
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Oct.30/01
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