HOUSE SHOWS ARE GO!

The World Wrestling Federation "B" group is coming to Moncton and Fredericton! That's right, if you've got 5000 seats or less, it's all here -- armbars, ankle locks, and tapping out? You bet!

You'll see all your favorite superstars! Like Undertaker! Essa Rios! Justin Credible! X-Pac! And bad, bad D'Lo Brown!

And they'll all be signing autographs!

This event will determine once and for all which wrestler is the greatest on earth: Hardcore Holly or Hugh Morris!

Come meet all your favorite stars! Test! Albert!

And many more!

Plus, tag-team wrestling! It's the mighty team of Helms and Storm versus the gay team of Gunn and Palumbo!

Be there Be there Be there Be there

AND BE SQUARE!

So as all this Simpsons-stealing shows, I'm pretty excited about a couple of house shows that are coming my way. I'm gonna go to both, even if they're virtually identical, and I'm gonna love 'em. I was smiling for hours the day I found out they were on their way. Finally, Keith gets to see WWF.

Historical note: My friends Mark and Chris saw the WWF the last time they were in town, which that fat bastard Kevin Kelly informed us was seven years ago. As the legend goes, Undertaker came to the ring for the main event, Yokozuna followed but hit his head on the way to the ring, turned around and left. Also, they called the Aitken Center the "Arken Center". Tough act to follow, but I'm sure they'll pull it off. As long as I get to see Billy Gunn in the flesh, my life will be complete.