| The Beginning of a New Life Essence was conceived shortly after the birth of her stillborn sister Azaria. It was a shock to us that I got pregnant so soon after such an experience, but we know that God does things for reasons beyond our understanding. He sees things afar off and knows what we can handle. We refused to love this next baby any less than the first. We also refused to be fearful of things that were beyond our control. Why? Because worry has only made situations worse...i.e.,high blood pressure, insomnia, ulcers, etc. God wants us to cast all our cares on him, because he cares for us! He wants to prove his Word to us, so we decided to trust God at his Word. We decided to enjoy every milestone of this pregnancy as well as all of the kicks and squirms. We didn't rely on kicks to bring us comfort, we relied on God and his promises. Because there are times when the baby is just too big to move as much or the baby is sleeping or just a little lazy. Imagine the amount of worry that would arise if you relied on feeling movement!. The pregnancy was sooo similar to my first pregnancy that it was alarming. I had no morning sickness or aches and pains, not even heart burn! I gained the same amount of weight at the same time intervals. I even carried this baby the same way! Due to insurance changes, I had to change doctors...which was a blessing. My new doctors were wonderful. They did everything to ensure that the situation would not repeat itself. They had to pull my files from the hospital to find out what had really happened. We decided to keep the pregnancy to ourselves because we wanted to shower this baby in prayer. We decided to believe God for a Supernatural Childbirth so we prayed God's Word and promises over this baby daily. We prayed for our doctors, that they make the right decisions concerning our pregnancy. We also prayed that God would grant them insight into our situation. We kept the pregnancy to ourselves for about 5 months, after which we told certain people that we knew would pray for us. Some people thought that we were being selfish for not "spreading the news", but everyone doesn't share our level of faith! I believe that had we "cast our pearls before swine" we would've had to battle with their negativity and doubts along with other things that we were dealing with! So we kept it to ourselves for a season. Hospital Visits In June 2003, while visiting my parents, I had to be rushed to the hospital. My stomach was feeling horrible. We prayed and I refused to fear. I kept reminding God of his promises. In the ER we found that all was well...the baby didn't like what I'd eaten that day! In late September, I had to visit the ER again. This visit was due to a 2nd degree burn that I incurred while cooking. Hot grease popped on my hand and took the skin off of my thumb. We decided to go to the ER to make sure my blood pressure was stable. All was well, and the doctors couldn't believe how calm I was. The baby wasn't affected by the incident in any way. Azaria's Anniversary As we got closer to the due date, which was November 14, 2003, my doctors began to monitor me more closely. By 33 wks, I was visiting the doctor every week. At 34wks the docs decided that I should come in twice a week until the baby was born. I had a NST (non-stress test) at every visit and an ultrasound at one visit per week. Azaria's (my first daughter that was born still at 34wk gestation on 11/03/02) anniversary wonderful. We didn't mourn or act sad in any way. Yes, we love our 1st daughter. No, we haven't forgotten her. We just live in such a way that would make her proud to have us as her parents. I don't think she would want us to mourn her, rather celebrate that she is in heaven. I knew that there was a chance that this baby could be born on her sister's birthday, but I didn't know how I'd handle that. I'm quite sure that God would have prepared us for that...had it happened. Happy Birth Day Essence My water broke at approx. 2:00pm on November 5. I called my husband to let him know. When he got home, we packed a bag and drove to my doc's office just to make sure. He sent us to the hospital. We checked in at approx 5:30. The contrax were 4-5 min apart and very strong (according to the nurse) but I didn't feel any pain. They thought that it was weird, but I know what God has promised!! My doc told me if I didn't dialate by 8:00 that they would give me a c-section. I was furious because I had been praying for a VBAC (vaginal birth after delivery), and I didn't think that she was giving me time to do anything. At about 8, I hadn't dialated much, but more importantly the baby's heartrate shot up and wouldn't go down. The doc order that I be prepped for the c-sec. Once in the OR and ready for delivery, I had calmed down a little, but I was upset. After speaking to my husband about it, I repented for my attitude because it wasn't what God would want...and I knew that I wasn't acting as I should.. After the doctor cut me open, they found that I had a huge "window" in my utereus, i.e. a hole! The baby's head was blocking this hole. If my labor would have progressed, my baby would have been delivered in my abdomen! God knows what's best for us...even though we don't understand at the time! Essence was born 7lbs 5 oz with a head full of hair and very alert. She is our second blessing from God even though her sister, Azaria didn't see the world that she is experiencing. I didn't need any pain medicines afterward. My recovery was very quick. I was walking the next day. My incision is almost invisible! Breastfeeding was a great challenge, but God has surrounded me with supportive friends. God is awesome! Even though I didn't get the VBAC, God answered my prayers and gave me a supernatural birth. God knew that I would have died had he not stepped in and made me get a c-section! We praise him daily for all that he does for us. Essence means "the crucial element" Amariah (heb) means "Jehovah has spoken" or "Yahu has promised" |
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