Conan O'Brien: Oh, I'm sorry. [turns to audience] This is serious.
Conan O'Brien: I really want the Late Night hosting job. I have to get it now because I'm Irish, and in about three years my head is going to grow so big there won't be a camera lens wide enough to get it all.
Mimi Rogers: There's no 'd' in 'Rogers.'
Conan O'Brien: Yes, there is. Check it out. [shows her his card] Now, tell me, Midi. I'm sorry. You sit here and you become an asshole.
Conan O'Brien: I could play a psycho on TV. I know I could. I may have to.
Mimi Rogers: I'm sure if you walked around here naked for a while, you would get used to it.
Conan O'Brien: I don't think anyone else would.
Conan O'Brien: People say that it's tough to be a model. No. Turning a big crank is though. [mimes turning a crank]
Conan O'Brien: This isn't going out to anyone, I don't have to pretend. I havn't seen it but I will see The Rapture because you came to my rinky dink show.
Mimi Rogers: Have you seen much?
Conan O'Brien: No, I don't get out much. I look at a model all day long, that takes up a lot of my time. I'm getting that "you're a bad host" signal. Oh my God, bad host, no job.
Conan O'Brien: The next guest on MY show... It's going to be my only chance to say that...
Jason Alexander: How could I miss an oppurtunity like this?
Conan O'Brien: It's not often you get to share camera time with me.
Conan O'Brien: Modeling, I've been told, is hard. That and turning a big crank.
Conan O'Brien: I'm getting another signal I'm supposed to say goodbye.
Jason Alexander: That was a smooth transition.
Conan O'Brien: Ok, that's the end of our little show. There are only two guests unless somebody else wants to come down and I don't think you do. Well, thank you for showing up, it's not the best time to come down to Burbank. If that's all I ever get, it was a lot of fun. I had a good time. Goodnight.