I was born and raised Catholic with my entire family belonging to the Catholic Church. For as long as I can remember, and from what my mother has told me, I was alway questioning the religious beliefs of the Catholic Church. I was a "problem" child in bible study and always asked the questions that my teachers either couldn't answer or wouldn't answer. But because of family tradition, I continued to attend church and went through Baptism, First Communion and Confession. Around this time, my mother and father divorced making us "bad" in the eyes of the church. We backed off attending mass as much but still attended bible study and attended chuch on holidays and other special occassions. My mother felt very strongly that her children have religion in their lives.
In 1989, my younger brother was in a freak accident that nearly cost him his life. Luckily he survived but had to undergo 14 months of rehabilitation and is still not what others view as "normal." At this point in my life, I really began to question the Catholic version of God. I could not comprehend why a god that was supposed to be all-loving and all-forgiving could let this happen you a young, innocent boy. I was 14 years old at the time, and knew that I needed a change in my religious life. It was also around this time that I began Confirmation classes within the Catholic Church. After attending 4 classes, I informed my mother that I would not be attending anymore. Surprisingly, she was okay with that as long as I tried to find a religion that suited me. I did just that. I began to explore all the churches in our small, central Nebraska town. Granted, my choices were quite limited: Luthern, Methodist, Nazarene, etc. Basically your typical, Christian-based churches. Still, nothing suited me.
The following year in school (1990), I was working on a speech on Satanism. My research had cross-references to Wicca and Paganism. (I now KNOW that Wicca and Satanism are as different as night and day.) From the little information I could discover on Wicca, I was interested and wanted to know more. Something just clicked with me. Wicca made sense and for the first time in my life, I felt that I had found a religion that was me and incorporated my personal beliefs into its beliefs. Once I discovered Wicca, I couldn't get enough. I was reading anything and everything I could get my hands on...mind you, that was not much and this was also before the Internet. I was thirsting for knowledge but there was so little to be found.
Jump ahead to 1992 and I escape small town America and head to college...to where else but an even smaller town in Nebraska. But the people and the resouces available there were a plus. I began to purchase books on Wicca as much as possible and as often as my funds allowed. I began to build quite a library but was still feeling quite alone and desparately wanted someone to talk to about Wicca. My next year of college, my wish came true in a wonderful friend named Raven. Although Raven wasn't Wiccan, she was Pagan and shared a great deal of my beliefs. We spent endless nights chatting about beliefs, gathering and sharing information and just learning.
I continued to learn, both with Raven and on my own. I was really beginning to understand Wicca and initiated myself into the Craft in 1995. In 1996, a group of new students came in and I found several that were Wiccan and interested in learning. We began a study group with me and another Wiccan taking the lead. It was a good experience for the most part and nice to have others to bounce thoughts and ideas off. I was also glad to be there for those people who were just starting out since I had no one when I began. Also, the internet was in full bloom at that time and the information available was wonderful. I developed a very close relationship with 2 others (~J~ and ~M~) in the group and we began practicing together. We wanted to find one more person to better balance out our group. We found that person (~S~), but it also proved to be a very big mistake. We soon learned that ~S~ was using Wicca in a negative way and potentially hurting others. It was at this point that I backed off from Wicca entirely. The intent of ~S~ and her (mis)use of magick scared me.
It wasn't until late 1999, early 2000 that I once again began to pactice magick. In 2002 I reinitiated myself into the Craft. I chose a new magickal name and reaffirmed my beliefs in Wicca. It's like I'm looking at Wicca with new eyes. It is a wonderful thing for me again. I'm back in that same small Nebraskan town where I first began my quest for Wiccan knowledge. But both the town and myself are different. There still is not resouces widely available, so thank the Goddess for the Internet. I wear my pentacle necklace proudly. I'm "out of the broom closet" to several of my friend, several of my co-workers and my mother's side of the family. I'm open about my religious beliefs. I don't advertise that I'm Wiccan but if someone asks, I do not deny or hide the fact either
I'm an eclectic Wiccan, meaning I don't follow any particular path. Since I am solitary, it is very easy for me to do this, I simply do what feels right to me. Most of my knowledge has been taken from what information I can find either on-line, in books or from others of similiar thought. I have an affinity for Numerology and reading Karma Cards. I'm also very interested in crystals and stones. Elemental-wise, I'm a true North/Earth. Everything about me screams this connection.
So that's where I am today. At this time I would like to formally thank and acknowledge my friends and family members that have supported my religious decision and beliefs. I love and appreciate all of you. Thank you for looking at me with unbiased eyes and open hearts. To you, I dedicate this page. Blessed Be.
~ Keirah