Sometimes I don't really feel like writing long-winded essays, or even complete sentances, but I yet have something I wish to express. In such times, I write something which at first glance appears to be a poem but under any attention reveals itself to be... much more demented. I call such a creation druggle.
Druggle lacks the self-criticism and audience consideration that poetry must have. There is no attempt to rhyme, assume a particular format, or even make sense. It is just me expelling something from one of my outer layers. It is really much more expressive than impressive, and so it may be a total waste of anyone else's time to read it.
However, to me it is important... in the same way that a motto like "Figure it out" or "Lord, Keep me going" can help others to move forwards rather than collapse in despair, my druggle helps me... not simply to survive, but to sustain my high-tension lifestyle.
So, druggle gains tremedous benefit to me at the sacrifice of influencing anyone else directly in an intentional way. The indirect effects have never I considered, and do not plan to... they will reveal themselves.
The only druggle I have put here is fairly weird, even for me.
Soft Darkness without (the Klan of Yin) speaks about a subtle energy which exists outside of the "group mind" of the masses. It would be more appropriate to think of the place as a state of self, when your emotions are not tied to those of your society... neighter by being in sync with them nor by having contempt of them, or sadness for them, or pity, or anger.
I say "place" because it is obvious that you need to be in a place that is near to what you want in order to partake of it (e.g. no matter how much food you have in your fridge, if you never get up and go there you could starve). Analagously, states of self are different and allow different actions (e.g. taking action requires being awake, but sleep is necessary to recharge. Trying to neglect either will have detrimental results. Trying to act while sleeping will fail, as will trying to sleep while acting).
So, that's what the title means, in brief. It reminds me that in order to stay balance and focused, I need to change states of self as appropriate. Yes, this is obvious, but it is also neglected nowadays, by the overwhelming majority of people. Most people drink too little fluids, sleep too little, exercise too little or in an unbalanced way. So the title of this druggle does a lot to sustain me.
What of the rest? Well, that's another set of stories... just wanted to illustrate the compactness and importance of druggle with respect to me.
What does the title really mean? Let us analyse it:
Soft - The energy is subtle, and comfortable to touch.
Darkness - you take in light and food and other forms of energy, but darkness takes you in, engulfs you. Yet a soft darkness is not total darkness, but again, a comfortable, supportive darkness. Supportive of romance, relaxation, gentle soothing sleep, intense exercise. Think of a shoreline at night.
Without - Outside of, apart from, with no respect to.
Klan - Group, tightly-knit. Social prision. Gang. Mob. While this group may offer support, its tendancies to destruction of others and self may be cause for concern. Or a source of power. Depends on perspective.
Yin - of Yin/Yang fame. Yin represents softer things such as water (rather than earth), fluid things such as energy (rather than mass), gentler ways (circular motion rather than linear). The minority form of yin speaks of the hard within the soft: the turning points within the curve, the photons which carry light energy, the atoms which comprise water.
Klan of Yin - This is the majority Aeonic current, or social pressure to change from day to day. It is not the harsh pressure to conform, but more the ambient pressure to follow rather than lead. Your actions are neigher criticised nor dictated by this pressure, but your thought and emotions will form around kernals of the common paradigm which are copied automagically into you by interaction with others.
Listening to the Klan of Yin, would lead to thinking just like them, which is bad as they do not wish to control their own lives, but would rather have some else dictate their destiny, then complain of, or send praises to, this person (or entity) but never leave their service.
(Without the Klan of Yin) - This shows that although solitude is wonderful, it may be too easy to assume that it is ever-present. While it is true that we are always alone (pushing the fifth chakra, the spirtual body, past cutoff into saturation leads to the revelation that you are now an automous entity, in the same way that each CPU is seperate, even if it is part of a system which is part of a network), this sense of self can degrade if attention flows too much to the outside or too far into space (the 6th and 7th chakras deal with infinity and void).
So the brackets actually emphasize the importance of remembering to maintain the sense of self, despite all distractions. This reminder is in the form of an anetdote of sorts - I start to talk about Soft Darkness, and as an after-note, remember that it is not possible to experience this while focused on family, friends, peer group, signifigant other.
K31. Sun. 3 Feb. 2002.