AN: Stupid plot ideas won't go away and then I start writing and do you guys know HOW many stories I have going at once right now? *whimpers* Okay, okay, feedback motivates me... motivation makes me write and the faster I write the closer I'll be to finishing and the closer I am to finishing the less stressed I am and the less stressed I am... Just leave me feedback and I'll love you, forever. Period. Disclaimer: I am not a girlfriend, friend, manager, owner, dancer, band member, roadie, groupie, fan... oh wait I'm a fan but this is a work of fiction. The people are real. The events are not. Chill. Breathe. Read and enjoy. ***************************** The Sometimes Girl *************************** I've been Nick Carter's girlfriend for the last five years, sort of. It depends on which calendar you're looking at. If you look at continuous dates, like from our first date when he showed up with a bouquet of daisies and kissed me chastely goodnight until now, then yes, we've been dating five years. If you count the actual weeks we've been considered a couple, and subtract the many weeks we were fighting or split up, it adds up to about two years and nine months. Either ways it's a significant chunk of my life and a damn impressive time for a nobody to be dating a pop star. I'm known as Nick's on again, off again girlfriend in the press. And on again, off again, on again, off again, on still again, and well, you get the point. I'm the 'sometimes girl'. We have a unique relationship. He has his mansion in Tampa, I have my apartment in downtown Orlando, we share a condo in between the two. We both spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with our respective family and friends. New Years is spent together. He has his dogs, I have my cats, and the condo has a giant fish tank full of exotic fish and crabs that we care for together. He's my Nicky though. Always has been, always will be. Or so I used to think. I'm not so sure anymore though. Cause, you see, there's this girl. That's not at all unusual really. We've both seen other people during our numerous breaks away from each other, him more than me, naturally, but still. He has women throwing themselves at him and I refuse to tour with them so a lot of times on tour he ends up with some bimbo for a few weeks and I ended up having a fling or two. It happens. We always ended up back together though. But Tiffany is different. Tiffany is pretty and smart and mature and so damn sweet it makes my teeth ache. Tiffany is tall and athletic and looks perfect no matter how early or late it is. There's never a platinum hair out of place, never a wrinkle on her immaculate outfits. She models between acting jobs, of course, and took ballet for twelve years. She can dance as well as the boys and when she walks she has this whole natural grace thing going on. That's not me. I'm just Corinne Mattley. Crazy Corie with wild brown curls and light gray eyes. I'm not exactly a midget at five six but that puts me more than half a foot under Nicky, and I'm perpetually late. My clothes are usually casual and the great majority have paint stains on them. I'm an artist by choice, an interior decorater cause I have to pay the bills. And I'm a klutz. I trip over everything. Nick always says he thinks its cute when I fly into a room only to discover I've locked my keys in the car and that there's a paintbrush still stuck behind on ear before going flying when my foot catches on a snag in the carpet. He calls me endearing. Or he used to. And Nick is sweet and funny and treats me oh so well. We're always acting goofy together, playing chase or going and splurging in toy stores. I didn't have much of a childhood but Nick lets me play make believe. I don't have to be a grown up around my Nicky and I treasure that. I really do, despite our problems. But beautiful Tiffany has been the girl on his arm for three months... THREE MONTHS! We've never been apart so long and its killing me. We fight, shag someone else, and make up. We don't STAY broken up. We just don't. But here we are, three months later. Him happy as a freaking lark, and me alone. And then there's all these rumors about him proposing to her and, and its just too damn much. I don't know what I'm gonna do. He gets home tomorrow, or so his message on my answering machine said. Tomorrow they all come home from their tour to star their new album and for the first time ever a very large part of me doesn't want to be there to greet him. *************************************************************************************** So I don't. I sit at home and stare at my clock and watch as the minutes crawl by and hate myself and hate Nicky and hate perfect, perfect Tiffany as the time they are scheduled to pull into home comes and passes without me. Nick doesn't call and that hurts me more than I could believe. Kevin calls me the next morning. Bright and early. I decided a long time that Kevin was going to be my Backstreet buddy and protector. I, naturally, couldn't pick Brian even though he was my first choice because he was Nick's best friend. So if we were having a fight I knew Brian would automatically support Nicky, no matter what. I considered Howie but, though we get along, we're not really friends. He's too much of a peacemaker and I love to start a good argument. AJ and I got wasted once, years ago, both after bad breakups, and had mind blowing sex. We try to keep our distance. Plus, Nick respects and is kinda afraid of big bad Kevin Richardson. All right, when it comes right down to it I am too but... We get along. Most of the time. So Kevin is my main man. "So, we missed you yesterday. Wanna tell me where the hell you were?" I make a face I know he can't see and sigh. "Really? You ALL missed me? That's surprising. I thought everyone was so blinded by Tiffany's perfection that you wouldn't even be able to tell if I was there or not. In fact, I was. I was standing right there in the corner and NO one saw me... Yup. No one at all." Kevin sighs. "Corrie, come on. You know Nick..." I hate the tears that cloud my eyes and dash them angrily away before interrupting. "Yeah Kev, I KNOW Nick and I know that he doesn't just stay with someone to stay with someone, not for THREE MONTHS. You know how much we've talked lately? Once a week if I'm lucky. It may have started out as a fling but its turned into something a hell of a lot more and don't insult me by denying it." "Corrie... sweetie..." "Kevin." "He says he loves her." I swallow and stare numbly at the receiver that dangles from my hand. Its official, I can feel my heart breaking. I can hear Kevin talking, yelling, pleading with me, but none of it really registers. I wet my lips and try to find my voice. "I gotta go Kev. I'm glad you made it home safely..." I hang up and proceed to stare at the blank wall for the better part of an hour. Nick's love is a beautiful wonderful thing. I know, because I use to have it. There's something about him, you can see it, something bright and elusive and wonderful. He has this draw, this inner light that makes people love him. And he's passionate. Nicky's so damn passionate about life and living and being who he is. He gives so much of himself but at the same time he's so inaccessible. He cares so much but he's been hurt over the years, has gone through so much shit between his family and being thrust in the spotlight at such a young age. He doesn't say 'I love you' unless he really, really means it. I didn't hear those three precious words until we had been dating for nearly nine months. Nine months. And after three Tiffany has him panting after her like a beautiful blonde puppy. But why not. After all, Tiffany's pretty and perfect and so right for him I want to cry. Tiffany with her big blue eyes and easy smile with straight white teeth and long platinum hair and, and, and... A huge tear trickles down my cheek and I sniff, dejected because it tears me up so bad inside... I've seen pictures of Nick since she's been in his life and he seems so happy. So damn happy. Happier than he ever was with me. Happier than we could ever be because we're Nicky and Corrie, bickering and laughing until the end. Our lives together are never peaceful or tranquil but... But he completes me. Nick Carter completes me and he's in love with somebody else. Life sucks. A lot.