AN: Finally, finished! This chapter was hell to write, hopefully it was worth it. I just want to thank everyone who has been supportive and excited about this mini series. It was a blast to write, even with Nick, who is so over written in general, not that it isn't all good but, ya'll know what I mean. I would adore getting feedback on this chapter, on everything in general, on anything in general. See ya soon! ~Kei inspiredthoughts@hotmail.com ************************** The Only Girl: Epilogue ************************* He sees the ring first when I open the door. I can see it in his face, the sudden sharp and familiar pain that’s only there when I hurt him. I can see his eyes die from merry sapphires to hard, pale ice. And I hate knowing that he hurts because of me because no matter how much I love AJ, a part of me will always care for Nick. My Nicky. Not because Nick Carter is perfect, or because he’s the most popular member of The Backstreet Boys. There’s just something about him that’s so absolutely, enchantingly endearing you can’t help but care for him, not matter how many times he’s taken your heart out and ripped it into little bite sized pieces. “Oh Corrie…” My name is a sigh, half tearful, torn from his mouth as he reaches automatically for the offending hand and unsuspected ring. His touch is gentle, warm, as he slides his palm against mine so that our hands mirror each others’. So that our separate rings touch, silver against gold. We stare at each other, gray and blue, and I wonder at the tears in his eyes. “I love him Nick.” He flinches but nods. “I know. I… I’ve known for a long time. I… I think he’s loved you since the first time he laid eyes on you.” “I don’t believe in love at first sight Nicky.” He chuckles ruefully. “Just because you don’t believe in something doesn’t mean its not true. I fell in love with Tiffany the first time I saw her walk into our lobby. There was sunlight streaming around her and she looked like some sort of golden haired angel, bright and so perfect I knew I would never see anything like it again.” I swallow heavily. “Did I matter at all?” Nick looks quickly away, shame open on his face. “Sometimes you mattered too much. I did love you Corrie, a small part of me always will. You do know that right?” I smile again, watery. “Sometimes that’s what makes it worse, ya know… the fact that I had you and lost hurts more than the fact that I might have never had you at all. Because then instead of never being enough I became something less.” Nick blanches and reaches for me and I back warily away. The pain in his face is bad enough. If he keeps talking I am going to start crying and I, for one, have cried enough for, and in front of, Nickolas Gene Carter. “Corrie…” “Just stop Nick!” I yell. He pauses, surprised, and I reach out and take his outstretched hand as I look up at him from lowered lashes. “Please Nicky. It kills me to hurt you and this hurts you. I… we can’t talk about this anymore. I just need to know, will you and AJ be okay?” Nick hisses as he exhales and draws a deep breath in through clenched teeth. He looks away from my intent stare and answers in a far away empty voice that makes me shudder. “If he ever hurts you like I have, I’ll hunt him down and kill him with my bare hands. If he looks at another woman, if he makes you cry from anything but joy me and AJ will be anything but okay.” I sigh softly, relieved, and stretch up on my tiptoes to kiss the man I’ll always love on the tip of his chin as I release his hand and step back. “Thank you Nicky.” Nickolas Gene Carter smiles sadly as he stares down at me, azure eyes gentle and soft and resigned all at once. “Be happy Corinne. Be happy and nothing else matters. Nothing else at all.” It’s amazing how many times someone can walk out of your life and still never really be gone. ********************************************************************************* Alexander James McLean and I were married two years to the day he proposed. I wanted to get married sooner but Alex got some warped idea of poetic justice stuck in that bleached head of his so I gritted my teeth and waited. The press, of course, had a field day, after Kevin, Brian and Howie’s jaws picked themselves up from the floor. Talk about the ultimate “surprise”. Tabloids, "People", even "Time" picked up the story of Nick Carter’s sometime girl becoming AJ McLean’s only girl. I had a new official press title, the something girl. Glamorous huh. Creative too. Yum, yum, taste the sarcasm. We all dealt in our own ways for those two crazy years but life, as I previously stated, has a tendency to go on with predictable normalcy. Wow, I just used me and normal in a sentence together. Wonders will never cease. Kevin continued to take me to get manicures, Howie pretty much made sure me and my volatile temper avoided him as much as possible, or maybe it was that damn passivity of his. Brian bought me a baby blanket which I promptly tried to strangle him with because if the tattooed wonder wants children he can grow his own uterus to push them out of by himself. Or adoption. Adoption is looking cool, but that’s a long way off. Grannie Mattley ordered customized cake figurines for the wedding- the groom had sunglasses. Nick gave me away by walking me down the aisle when Aje and I were finally married in a small church with stained glass windows and a vaulted ceiling. My mom, in a rare display of emotion, went through two boxes of Kleenex during the service. Denise McLean went through five. Tiffany was my Maid of Honor. Her daughter was my flower girl. Who would have thought that Nick would be the first to be a father? You couldn’t even say the word commitment within a five mile radius of him when we started dating. Rebecca is my Goddaughter, which is so endearingly cheerful it makes me sick at myself. The fact that I found Tiffany being in labor for thirty-seven hours amusing makes me sick period. Hips are supposed to exist for a reason I guess. It was cool to see her as less than perfect though; I didn’t even know she knew that kind of language. Hell, I didn’t know some of the phrases she used during the last few hours. We honeymooned in Seattle. Poetic justice got the better of me that time; it wasn’t even totally Aje’s fault. I even visited my father’s grave. I didn’t bring flowers. I did bring knee high socks instead of lingerie. AJ always said he thought I looked sexy in them. I’m happy. Happier than I could have ever believed. Happy in the stupid fairytale kind of way. In the “It’s a Small World” ride kind of way. I don’t even paint with black and red anymore. Creepy huh? Nickolas Gene Carter broke my heart. Ripped it out and ate all the little writhing pieces. I’ll never be his sometimes girl again, but I am, and will always be, his friend. His forever friend. AJ and I started out at friends, we screwed, we wept, we laughed. We loved. And no matter where we go or who we become in life there’s one thing as sure as the sun rising in the east and teenies screaming every time Nick winks and that is that, out of all of the world, I am Alexander James McLean’s only girl. The only one he'll ever love again. The only one he'll ever trust with who he is. Funny how things actually do work out huh? “It’s a small world after all… it’s a small world after all… it’s a small world after all, it’s a small, screwed up world.” And I wouldn’t have it any other way, in the end. The end.