AN: Okay, this is realy author love, updating on my vacation and all. Thank you SSSSSSSSOOOOOOO much to everyone who has emailed me about this story with feedback and stuff though. Good karma vibes for everyone! Ya'll are FABULOUS! And yes, I am a feedback junkie... LOL *CAUTION* The first section of this chapter contains slightly harsher language than I normally use because, well, its Eminem. I toned it down quite a bit though, trust me. Just a friendly warning but I don't think I get too vulgar. *************************** The Only Girl: Chapter Seven ************************** "So that was AJ McLean? He's pussy whipped." I cast amused eyes towards the white rapper next to me and smile sweetly. "And you have abandonment and anger management issues. Besides, its impolite to talk about people behind their backs." Eminem steps closer to me in one swift movement and he's tall, not nearly as tall as my Nicky, but much taller than I can ever hope to be. That and he has the whole intimidation thing down well, so well he could even give Kev a run for his tree hugging manicured money. It's the eyes, I decide as I stare at them lazily, unconcernedly studying the potentially violent force in the ice of his blue, frigid glare. Nicky's eyes were never that cold and that's comforting in a way. Eminem is the first man with blue eyes I've been able to hold a conversation with without comparing him to the one that broke my heart by marrying every man's vision of feminine perfection. Wow, I'm pathetic. Eminem's coiled though, like a cobra waiting to strike, but I'm not very frightened. I've been through crap in my life and I'm a survivor. Besides, the worst he can do is deck me before they pull him off. There's advantages to being in a crowded room where security runs a thorough screening before allowing people, even stars, to enter. Though I could really do without the frisking... "And I care about being polite and shit, right...?" "Corrie," I reply with an amused grin, giving him my name though I introduced myself half an hour ago. "I respect that you don't give a damn about other's opinions, but it's cowardly to talk crap about people when they can't hear. If you have something to say, say it to their faces and get ready to face the consequences." The ice flares and blooms into a kind of scalding blue. Dangerous flames those. And stupid, stupid me always has to play with fire. "Are you calling me a coward?" "I'm saying that actions speak louder than words." We stare at each other for a minute, steely gray edging silver, and bitter sapphire darkening with barely controlled rage. Finally, Eminem snaps a grudging reply. "You have guts bitch, no one calls me a coward without getting their asses kicked." He pauses but I don't say a word, I know when not to push my luck. Marshall Mathers watches me for another long moment before chuckling darkly. "Smart too. Rare find that. What the f*ck were we talking about before we were interrupted by your latest Backdoor Toy?" I shake my head but answer because I've rarely been so entertained at a label party and I've been to my fair share between the five years I dated and hated Nick. "Bipartisan politics." "Shit." Eminem gives me a casual once over. "You want to f*ck?" "No." He nods easily. "All right, well my personal view on bipartisan politics is..." ******************************************************************************* Well, I've discovered the secret of getting Kevin over the whole me and AJ slept together thing. Give him something new and interesting for him to concentrate on. Like me and Marshall Mathers talking for three straight hours. Then, then the damn idiot won't shut up. "Come on Corrie, just tell me what you talked about..." I glare at the eager and impatient mountain man before slamming my milk carton on the counter with a thud. "I told you," I snap in my most polite 'bite me' tone, "we talked about bipartisan politics and First Amendment issues in regard to censorship and the music industry." Kevin regards me with disbelieving eyes and I sigh. "Kevin, that's it, I swear. We didn't talk about boy bands or his law suites. We didn't sleep together, we didn't even exchange numbers. He's Eminem and I'm a Backstreet Woman even if I'm currently Backless..." I pause as Kevin continues to stare at me, face blank. We crack up at the same time. "Backless?" he splutters through helpless laughter. I blush. "Oh shut up ass, you know what I meant..." "Sometimes, with you, I wonder Corinne, I really do." "Jerk." "Whore." Dammit, I know that would come back to haunt me. ************************************************************************************** Okay, I can do this. I am a mature international star. Okay, okay, I'm an immature international star but close enough people. And I messed up by going all growly and possessive with Corrie. She's like me; she doesn't think much of authority or rules. She's like me on a lot of other levels too. Corinne Mattley gets me in a way no one, not even my four almost brothers, ever will. Maybe its because her no good father walked out on her too. Maybe its because we both had a difficult childhood. Maybe, maybe she's just every bit as damn special as my heart says she is. God, I sound like one our bloody choruses. And its stupid to be nervous. It really is. We've been friends forever. We've fought, we've shagged, we've partied and cried. She's seen me so vulnerable it makes me shudder sometimes but she's never, not once, taken advantage of the little glimpses I've given her into my life. I'm loud, I'm obnoxious, in your face, boisterous, and a very private and complicated man. People don't breach the walls of my heart and I never, EVER, let them in. Except for my mom and one dark haired friend who has stood by me for so damn much. One friend I want to be so much more. One friend who already is so much more. I haven't looked at another woman in weeks, had sex in months. All I need is Corrie and its killing me inside because I don't have her. It used to hurt me to see her with Nick towards the end and after they broke up, after Tiffany flew in with her halo and wings, I nearly screamed to see her withdraw from us. And the last year or two, the last few months especially, I'd have given anything to be what Nick still is in her heart. I'd give my voice to know that Corrie loves me somewhere in that hidden soul of hers. And I'm so jealous I'm nearly green with the thought of Nick being there for every wistful beat, every breath she takes because I know, know as sure as the sun will rise and moon will climb, that he will always be someone special to her. Can a broken heart ever be whole again? Can a scarred soul ever heal enough to love? I wish that my heart was broken and soul shattered so that I could have the answers to those questions. I'm going mad because I've never wanted something as much as I've wanted Corinne Mattley. I shift from foot to foot as I stand in front of her apartment door, wildflowers clutched desperately in sweating hands. Jesus, I feel like some kind of shameful schoolboy with a childhood crush. But this isn't puppy love. Puppy love doesn't feel this terrifyingly frightening. I suck a deep breath in and let it out, half sigh, half-determined gush, before raising one trembling hand to rap on her door. Here goes nothing... The Tattooed Marvel swoops in on his prey, and prays that his feelings aren't torn into little self hating shreds. A pop star doesn't have much dignity but he does have some.