AN:  Woah.  Its done.  Even I'm surprised.  Its been an awesome 
time and I LOVED getting emails from everyone with reactions.  I 
expect similar responses to the final chapter.  If you want to 
read more inane babbling from me concerning this story check out 
the Author's Notes on the Completed Story.  If you just want to 
read more of my ramblings in general, read more of my stories.  
HUGE thanks to everyone who kicked my butt to get me to the end.  
Ya'll rock and, hell, I rock for finishing it *finally*.  =)

inspiredthoughts@hotmail.com

PS:  There are some references to earlier chapters so if you 
don't remember stuff, reread. LOL  Its good for you.


******** Nightmare of a Lifetime: Chapter Twenty-Nine *******


It had been exactly a month since Nicole Perry and Bill had 
concluded Tour of a Lifetime: *NSYNC.  Now it was ready for 
Nicole's special surprise.  She twirled in front of the mirror 
in her assigned dressing room backstage at MTV.  Her knee length, 
sky blue, fifties styled skirt flared, showing slender legs in 
black fishnet stockings and heels.  A sky blue tank top was 
covered by a long sleeved fishnet shirt.  Her numerous tattoos 
flashed through with tantalizing clarity.  The hair color of 
the day was jet black, though she had conceded to fashion by 
adding some charming blue butterfly clips to keep it out of her 
darkly lined eyes.  

She knew she looked adorable but the first person to tell her 
was so getting hit.  

Perry glanced down at her sky blue rhinestone watch and 
wrinkled her nose, making her nose stunt glint.  Mr. Buttons 
wriggled in contented protest as she bent to scoop him up 
from his cushion.  She had broken down and decorated him in 
a matching rhinestone collar and had even stooped so low as 
to paint his nails an equally sickening baby blue.  She had 
really missed JC and his obsession with nail polish.  

"Come on sweetie," she cooed to her dog, "show time."       

Nicole swept onstage a set in MTV's studios to the frenzied 
screams and cries of a devoted audience.  She flipped them 
off with a grin as she made her way to chairs that had been 
set up in their honor.  Sharon Osbourne was already waiting 
for her, ready to act as host, as was Bill, her trusty camera 
man.   Normally MTV's darling, Carson, would have handled the 
show, but there was the small matter of the restraining 
order...  Nicole paused to kiss her Aunt's cheeks before 
dragging Bill into a rowdy hug which ended with them both 
sprawled on the floor, hitting each other affectionately.

Sharon rolled her eyes before turning to address the audience 
and camera.  "Welcome everyone to the reunion show 
affectionately dubbed 'Operation Phoenix,' though no one but 
Perry and Lance seem to know the meaning behind that title.  
It's been exactly a month since one of MTV's most successful 
shows EVER has concluded.  Today brings back together 
America's darlings, from our foul mouthed host, smart assed 
camera man, to our five pop hunks and their hulky bodyguard.  
In the audience you might recognize a few faces as well..."  
It was Perry's turn to roll her eyes as the cameras panned 
the excited crowd to highlight Robert the Gentleman, Nicole's 
brother Steven, Kelly and Jack Osbourne, Jason Alan or 'Puppy' 
of Fermented Pain, and, of course, Malcom.  

"Now *NSYNC themselves are going to be here in a few minutes.  
This is all, of course, a surprise to all of the idiots except 
for Lance so, play along everyone.  Perry, sit your cute ass 
down and let's have a chat."  

Nicole scrambled up and took a chair, leaving a disgruntled Mr. 
Buttons and Bill on the ground.  "Yes Aunt Sharon," she 
answered dutifully, though a smirk tugged at her lips.  

"All right you sassy thing, we're supposed to talk about your 
experiences on the show and how you've recovered since the 
show has ended.  So, let's start... the show, something tells 
me you weren't thrilled about it?"     

"Hell no.  Malcom," she pointed accusingly, "had to twist my 
damn arm out of its socket in order to get me to do it.  I 
mean seriously, a boy band isn't exactly my cup of tea."  

Sharon leaned back and assessed her adopted niece.  "And what 
finally persuaded you to accept the offer of host?"  

Nicole shrugged ruefully.  "Well the head morons at MTV were 
willing to use my contract to force me but in the end, Malcom 
just gently threatened me and offered a hell of a lot of money."  

"But we all know, from watching of course, how you changed some 
of your opinions after spending three whole months sleeping and 
eating and living with *NSYNC."  

Perry coughed, "Well first, let me point out that there was no 
sleeping with *NSYNC, maybe a bit of cuddling and some unwanted 
kissing but, as much as much as I grew to love 'em, those boys 
can be as slutty as Frankie.  One night with them would be the 
equivalent of sleeping with half of America's twenty-five and 
under population."  Bill snickered as she continued, "But yeah, 
they're all really great guys, except for Justin, he's an 
asshole but, four out of five isn't bad, right?  I can be 
really bitchy and hard to deal with and they dealt with me 
admirably well for three months.  That takes balls.  I 
seriously expected to chew them up and spit them out in the 
first week but everyone held their own."

Kelly nudged Jack hard with her elbow before whispering, "You 
owe me for our bet."  

Jaco snorted.  "Oh Kell, do shut up..."

Sharon continued, "Yes, they most certainly did.  So dish, what 
was your most embarrassing moment on the tour?"  

Nicole made a face and stuck her tongue out.  "The Britney kiss.  
Justin was nasty but Britney was just, I mean I tongued Britney 
Screw Me Spears.  That definitely tops the list."

Sharon laughs.  "All right, all right, I can see your point, 
but she is hot.  What was your favorite moment then?"

She titled her head as she considered the question for a long 
minute.  "I have a couple actually... the first time Lance and 
I ate at a diner and really got to talk, my 'one' night stand 
with Robert, JC painting any nails he could get a hold of, 
Joey's face when he discovered Mr. Buttons on tour..."  Perry 
leaned down and patted her Pekinese with a contented smile.

"Very good," Sharon Osbourne added.  "Well now that the tour is 
over what have you been doing with yourself?  What are your 
future plans?  Will America be treated to a second season?"  

Nicole groaned and threw a dramatic arm over her face.  "I'd 
dearly love to know how much MTV paid you to ask me that on 
live television."

Her Aunt flashed a rather large diamond ring under Perry's nose. 
"Oh, enough to purchase this little hunk of ice.  Isn't it 
pretty?"

She examined the ring dutifully before whistling.  "Exceedingly.  
I'm impressed.  Well, to be blunt, you couldn't pay me enough 
to consider the idea.  The first time its novel, the second its 
tired.  This isn't a success that can be repeated so why torture 
America by trying?  I've spent the last month being absolutely 
worthless, visiting you, as you know, and Uncle Ozzy, spending 
some time with my little brother and, well, Robert of course.  
You can't pass up mind blowing sex and a near perfect 
relationship you know.  The future is pretty much wide open, 
except for refusing to do another season.  Oh, and thanks to 
some rather nice details in my contract for the show, there 
can't BE another season unless I say so."  

"You're a wicked child, but you know that, right?  All right, 
enough girl-talk..."  Bill coughed and Sharon pointedly ignored 
him.  "Let's bring out the rest of our soon to be surprised 
guests."               

The audience grew wild as the music cued *NSYNC.  It felt good 
to see them run out onstage, especially since they were all 
under the impression that they were doing a special on their 
ever so successful comeback.  They all sort of stumbled to a 
halt when they registered Bill and Sharon Osbourne.  They went 
as wild as the audience when they saw Perry.  

Chris may have the shortest legs but he was quick.  He reached 
her first and abruptly set about crushing her ribs as he 
squeezed her with all his Kirkpatrick might.  Joey followed 
close behind, then JC, Lance, and finally, with begrudging 
affection, Justin.  Dan shook his head ruefully and strolled 
to take an empty seat next to Bill onstage, stretching his legs 
out as the two men regarded the blatant and rare display of 
emotion.  

Nicole slender five foot form was nearly enveloped by the five 
exuberant men.  Mr. Buttons yipped, excited, as he danced around 
their feet.  JC broke free from the bear hug long enough to 
squeal and scoop up the hairball to join the group embrace.  
Joey tried to protest but was quieted by equally fierce growls 
from the Pekinese and Jayce.  

"All right, all right, let's break up this love fest for a bit.  
Everyone can get back to pawing each other later.  Now, before 
we go any farther, I know we've all been dying to know... what 
in the hell is Operation Phoenix?"  

The group hug broke apart slowly.  Nicole and Lance exchanged 
smug looks and shooed the rest of *NSYNC over to Bill and Dan 
before stepping forward together.  Sharon and the world watched 
with mixed amusement and excitement.  

"Okay," Lance said with a sigh, "see, Perry and I have a little 
surprise for everyone.  One night on tour we snuck out and I 
got a small tattoo to show my feelings about the amazing life 
I've been gifted with."  

Chris craned his neck, trying to see over the other guys, before 
squeaking, "Tattoo?!"

Nicole shot Lance a huge grin, which he returned, before pulling 
his designer t-shirt off over his head.  Half the audience 
members swooned at the sight of his very naked chest.  The other 
half promptly swooned when he turned to proudly show his back.  

When he flexed his shoulder muscles the glorious phoenix seemed 
to unfurl its wings and fly.  

Joey was, as predicted, outraged.  "I can't believe they went 
without me!"

Bill turned to him.  "You?!  What about me?  I was the damn 
camera man!"

JC was turning slightly green as he swayed.  "Just think how many 
needles that took..."

Justin absently caught Jayce as he swayed but his attention 
was entirely focused on Lance's back.  "His is bigger than mine 
are!"

Lance was beaming as he turned and took a little bow which 
received a standing ovation from the few members of the audience 
that hadn't fainted.  Sharon Osbourne blew him a kiss and he 
shook his head.  "Okay Perry, I showed them mine, you show them 
yours."

Nicole sent him a saucy wink before turning herself around.  She 
paused for a moment before giving into impulse.  She flipped up 
her skirt in one smooth motion to reveal pantyhose that stopped 
mid thigh, a lovely black thong, an Ozz Fest tattoo on one cheek 
of her butt, and an *NSYNC tattoo adorning the other.  

There was a full minute of shock before everyone went absolutely 
nuts.  Perry met the eyes of all five *NSYNC members, one by one, 
as a smile stretched her lips wider and wider.  

Kelly Osbourne stood on her seat to shout.  "I told you no *NSYNC 
tattoos, however drunk you got!"

Nicole dropped her skirt back down and faced her best friend 
before shouting back a reply.  "First of all, I was stone cold 
sober.  Second of all, if I remember correctly I said '*NSYNC 
tattoo my ass'!"  

She blew Robert a wet, lewd kiss that he 'caught' with a loud 
laugh.  Sometimes, even Nicole Perry's life was good.

"Kids, if we're done with show and tell, let's sit down like 
slightly humanized people and have a nice gossip."  Everyone 
scrambled to obey Sharon Osbourne as the rest of the show, the 
rest of Perry's life, continued on its merry and reckless way.  
Only now, now there were a lot more friends and, well, a lot 
more money involved...

Sometimes, even nightmares lead to good things.