AN: Wow, Chapter 23, even I'm impressed. LOL Feedback rocks my world. inspiredthoughts@hotmail.com ********************* Nightmare of a Lifetime: Chapter Twenty-Three ******************** "You kissed Britney Spears." "I've been hearing that phrase a lot lately." Perry adjusted her cell phone on her shoulder as she dug through JC's CDs for their mutually favorite Depeche Mode disk. "Josh, you need to learn some damn organizational skills!" she called out. He laughed faintly from the back of the bus as Bill snorted from his position on the couch where he was busily taping her. "God dammit Pear Bear, Britney Screw Me Spears!" Nicole grinned at the phone. Best friends were awesome, even when they were being annoying. "It was for a good cause Kell..." "World peace?" Kelly Osbourne snapped from somewhere in Switzerland. Perry chuckled. "Pissing off Justin Timberlake." "You be nicer to him," Kelly ordered, voice going shrill, "you know Mum adores him." There was a heartbeat of painful silence. "How is she?" Nicole asked, serious to a fault. Kelly sounded near tears. "I guess all right. I mean, she goes to treatments and still manages to interfere in all our lives so she can't be too bad off right? But she just sounds so fucking frail on the phone. I'm not even there in person to see but I can tell, you know?" "What about Jack?" "We'll see when he gets out of rehab again." Nicole sucked in a deep breath. "Shit, I'm sorry Kell. I didn't think... Hadn't heard." Her friend sighed. "No, its okay, really Pear. He checked himself in again because he wants help. He needs help. He's already decades ahead of Dad in that respect. They're going to make an announcement later this week. I think he'll be okay this time. I hope. He's not as angry as he was and that helps. He cares if he lives or dies. All the other kids are doing all right. Jack and I are the only ones who go off the deep end still." "Good," Nicole said softly. "How's Uncle Ozzy holding up by the way? He seemed okay when I was there a few weeks ago. Lonely and sad but better than I expected." Kelly's voice gentled. "He is doing better than any of us expected. Mum calls him three or four times a day and they talk for hours. She writes him letters and sends him videos and even sent a few of the dogs on tour to keep him company. He wants the tour to be over so he can go home but he'll last until then." The cell phone beeped and she sighed. "I gotta go Brat, someone's on the other line. You take care of yourself, okay? Two more weeks of this shit and I'm free. I'll drop by for the end of Ozz Fest so give your Dad a heads up." "No more kissing..." "Kell!" Perry whined with a grin as she switched lines before her friend could come up with a come back. "Hello, you've reached the Britney Spears fan club, how may I help you?" "So I hear my new romantic interest may be batting for the other team." Robert's amused voice rolled over her like a wave. "Only in the off season," Nicole replied cattily. There was a pause and then, they laughed together. "Sorry, just, its not like we made out. One freaking kiss is all I've heard about for DAYS and shit, it's not like there was tongue. Although watching Timberdumb sulk has been intensely satisfying." Robert laughed. "All right, it's just, talk about fulfilling male fantasies." "What are you babbling about?" Perry demanded as she sighed in frustration and continued to dig through JC's pile of crap in front of the entertainment center. "Okay, think about it, lesbians, way cool, I'm sure you've noticed male fascination with them." "On numerous occasions," she replied, voice wry. "Right, so then there's Britney Spears..." "Every prepubescent boy's wet dream?" Robert's rich chuckles made her smile. "Crudely put, yes, and you. You're already in the One Night Stand Hall of Fame and wow. Did I mention the fulfillment of male fantasies part?" "Having nice dreams?" Nicole asked sweetly, pleased despite herself. "Oh yes. Although I was calling to make sure you were still interested in well, testosterone. I'd understand if you weren't because 'Oh my god, you kissed Britney Spears!'" "Screw you," she jeered cheerily. "I'll be back in New York in a month." "A month? I thought the show ended in two weeks?" "I'm going home, Ozz Fest I mean, I need to. Its just..." "I understand. A month huh?" His voice was warm with promise. "I'll work something out." "You better," she grumbled, "I can still taste the soap I used to wash my mouth out with." Robert laughed and after they said their goodbyes she hung up to face Bill's smug smile. She pointed at him. "You, not a word." He smiled widely before innocently whistling a very catchy rendition of 'Here Comes the Bride'. Nicole fumed. JC appeared from the back. "I found the CD, it was wedged between the couch cushions." She sighed and rose, taking JC's arm as she shot Bill a dirty look. "Come on my friend, let us go bask in the genius of Depeche Mode and leave the peasants to their ignorance." Josh hid a small smile and winked at the unrepentant cameraman. "Can I paint your nails?" "No." "Please?" "No." "Will you paint mine?" "JC..." "Yes?" he asked, innocent. Nicole looked up at him, darkly lined eyes sincere as her nose stud glinted in the light. "Are you SURE you're not gay?"