AN: Wow, its been awhile since I updated this story! Let me know how you liked this chapter, its a little more emotionally indepth than the rest and somewhat out of character with the story but needed. Plot filling and characterization, what joy. ;) inspiredthoughts@hotmail.com ********************** Nightmare of a Lifetime: Chapter Fifteen ************************ Nicole Perry stared at her long time boyfriend Frankfurt McAllen, lead singer of Fermented Pain. He stared back, eyes wide and nervous until they lowered and rested on her cast. She watched him swallow convulsively. “Perry, I’m sorry… So sorry. No matter all the shitty things I did to you over the years I never meant to hurt you.” She continued to stare at him in stony unresponsive silence as he fidgeted before her. Finally she asked, “How many groupies did you screw to get over me?” “Who says I’m over you?” It was her turn to flinch. Nicole sighed as she ran nervous hands through her short, spiked, black hair. Frankie hadn’t been a wonderful boyfriend, but he was a great guy. Under all the partying and cussing and tattoo ink he was a truly decent individual. She wouldn’t have given him the time of day otherwise. And he had loved her the best he could, the best he knew how. He loved her knowing that she would never love him the same way, would never even try, and that one day she would leave him and break part of his heart. That day had come and past and left them standing backstage at Ozz Fest, her in a cast and him hanging his shaggy head with shame. The question was, where did they go from here? “I don’t want to stay angry at you Frankie. We’ve both been through too much shit in life to throw friends away. I won’t put with crap from you though.” He smiled tentatively. “You never did.” She snorted and smiled as well, dark lips grinning easily. “I didn’t did I?” He stopped the oncoming rant by holding open his arms. Nicole paused for a moment and stepped forward. They hugged tightly, so tight she ran out of breath. “I miss you Pear Bear,” he murmured into her hair. She hated the tears that wanted to fall. She wouldn’t let them fall; she never did. “It was time for us to move on Frankie. You breaking my arm was a good enough reason than any. Oh and threatening my job with your whole ‘punch my pop star’ stunt.” He didn’t try to rebuke her, simply held her tighter. “You’ll find someone Frankie, someone wonderful, someone who won’t put up with as much shit as I DID put up with. Someone to take you in line.” Frankfurt McAllen sighed deeply and released her. “I know Perry, I know. Sometimes, sometimes I just wish that someone was you.” Nicole smiled sadly but didn’t say anything further. She touched Frankie’s rough cheek and walked away. ******************************************************************************** “Dude, NEVER mention drugs of any kind to Nicole. I’m serious. Not doing, seeing, buying or selling. Just don’t go there. Not with pot or heroine. Don’t mention drugs to her.” Justin studied the solemn man before him for a long moment as he spent more time during his second day of Ozz Fest backstage with members of Fermented Pain, Nicole, and of course, Bill, who was currently following the ‘host’ around as she visited all her old friends in the bands.. “Was she an addict or something?” Jason laughed harshly. “No, her mother was.” Justin’s mouth snapped shut on his snappy reply and he found his blue gaze being drawn to a subdued Nicole who had finished visiting the grounds and had joined Nathan on the couch where he was strumming away absently on his guitar. Frankie sat down next to her and Bill took the footstool. Justin watched as she stiffened and relaxed, allowing her ex boyfriend to relax as well. “Really?” he asked, voice and stance softening. Jason studied the pop star before him for a long moment before continuing. “I swear to god and all holy that if you tell anyone, even, ESPECIALLY Pear, that I told you this I will skin you alive and burn your scrawny corpse, got it?” At Justin’s cautious, wide eyed nod, he blundered on, tone urgent but quiet enough not to attract attention. “Perry’s mom became a druggie when she was about a year old. They had been homeless since Perry’s dad, a pimp, knocked her mom up who had been a teenage runaway and living on the streets for some time before shacking up with him. He kicked her out when he found out she was pregnant. “Anyway, Debbie stayed clean till Perry was about a year and then one day she picked up a joint that was offered to her and was hooked. On hard stuff, light stuff, whatever she could get her hands on. “Perry grew up moving between the streets, shelters, and foster homes. When she was about twelve Debbie got knocked up again. They never knew the father. Anyway, Debbie decided to go clean and managed to keep it straight through her pregnancy and long enough afterwards that the State decided to give Perry back to her biological mother. She’d been at a home for a couple of years. “So it was Debbie, Perry, and the baby, Steven. They lived on welfare and got by until Debbie started using again and Perry decided that she had had enough. She started working when she was thirteen, illegally of course because of child labor laws, but working. Doing odd jobs, making enough money to make sure she and Steven had food to eat and a dry roof over their heads. “She snagged the VJ contest by sheer luck when she was seventeen. She’s been with MTV ever since. She makes good money, more than anyone her age can even believe, and she’s the sole provider for Steven and Debbie. She sends home the cash to a three bedroom apartment she purchased for them. “She’d quit her job with the studio in a minute if it wasn’t for them. Perry doesn’t give a damn about her mother but she loves Steven like he’s her own kid. The only reason Perry hasn’t kicked Debbie out of their lives is, one, because she IS Steven’s biological mother and legal guardian and because she’s been clean most his life. “Perry thinks Steven deserves a chance to have the mother she never really had, and she can’t legally fight the court system with any realistic chance of winning. So unless Debbie royally screws up she has Steven. Perry wants Steven and Debbie wants to be able to sit on her fat ass all day and have Perry send money home. “Its twisted as hell but it works out. Perry makes Debbie go in for drug testing once a month and has the lab send her reports. She’s not taking any chances of Debbie screwing up and hurting Steven. That and she has a neighbor who checks in on them every day. Perry sure as hell doesn’t trust her mom but she gives her more of a chance then I would have in her place, even if she hates her.” Justin was aghast. “That’s terrible, that a grown woman could do that to her child and then take advantage of her when she beat the odds and came out on top of life.” Jason snorted. “Yeah, that bitch is a piece of work. Perry isn’t putting up an act by acting like a bad ass from the streets because she is to all intents and purposes. But don’t you dare let her know you know her sob story. She wants people to respect her for what she does, not what she’s overcome.” Justin glanced sideways at the large man at his side. “Why did you tell me this? Why break her confidence to tell me? You must have noticed we aren’t best friends or anything. I’m only here because MTV wanted me. If Perry had gotten to choose you’d have Lance or even JC, maybe Chris. Not me.” Jason smiled grimly. “Intuition Timberlake. You grew up in show business. You understand people, understand a lot more things than people give you credit for but Nicole has you stumped. You don’t have to like her but ignorance can hurt. You may dislike Perry to your heart’s content but once you have her figured out, as much as she CAN be figured out, then I know you’ll do anything in your power not to hurt her. “This tour, your tour, has been wonderful for her so far but if she comes back to me more hurt than she left then I’ll hunt down every boy band member that breathes and make them pay.” “What about her causes such loyalty?” Justin demanded hotly, suddenly angry. ‘Puppy’ shrugged roughly and smiled, slapping the younger star on his shoulder. “Maybe because she doesn’t give a shit about what the world thinks of her but would die to protect the people she cares about from the pain of not fitting in. She kills herself to take care of Steven, has apparently forgiven Frankie for being the asshole that he naturally is, and has won the sympathy of half your band mates. “Maybe the real reason you dislike Nicole, Justin, is that you’re afraid you’ll never have such loyalty yourself. You can’t buy her friendship. You can’t buy anything about her.” “You can buy her time,” Justin snapped, “we bought three months.” Jason shrugged again. “Perhaps she sacrificed her time to help feed her brother but in six weeks she’s made you all, if only partially, her own. How many reporters can say that about you five?” The pop star smiled despite himself and chuckled ruefully. “Touché, touché.”