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****************** Curiosity Killed... Chapter Thirteen *******************



"You okay?"

"I don't want to talk about it," comes my too curt reply.  AJ's grip of steel stops me 
in my place as he grabs my shoulders and makes me face him.  I stare up through ash 
blonde bangs, wide brown gaze angry and frightened and so damned confused.  "AJ," I 
whisper, wanting to yell at him, to hit him.  Maybe not the brightest reaction but 
dammit, I didn't ask to be kept here.  Didn't ask to be made a pawn.  Didn't ask myself 
to think that Kevin is really hot in sweaty leather and that Howie feels like home and 
that Nick annoys me like a little brother and Brian looks adorable in the morning, even 
when I'm screeching at him.  Didn't ask myself to want AJ McLean to be my friend.  You 
can't be friends with the person who will probably have to kill you.  

Its bad form.  

"I'm here, if you need me," he finally offers into my silence.  

I laugh and it's an ugly sound.  "You can't be my friend AJ, so don't try."  

"Why not?" he demands gently and I answer him because he deserves that much.  

"Because you are Vampire and I am simply a meal that is more stubborn than most."  He 
flushes scarlet and, ashamed at myself, I wrench myself out of his grip and walk away.  
He's too young.  They're too young.  They can't imagine what it is to live a hundred 
lifetimes.  I can't either and I'm thankful for that every day.  I have seen the burdens 
Dracula bears.  I know the bitterness that claws at Marquis and why Lydia felt it her 
right to make the Backstreet Boys immortal.

I don't think I want to be around when they discover what it is to loose their humanity.    

**********************************************************************************

The ride back to the hotel is quiet.  All five are high strung and tired, sweaty in 
hastily changed sweats.  Nick and Brian are talking earnestly, excitedly, and I watch 
with detatched interest as Nick's pale hands weave through the darkness of the limo 
like ghosts.  

Brian's answering smile is brilliantly white.  

Howie is reclining, his head thrown back, eyes closed, but his left foot taps an 
unwritten pattern on the floor with nervous energy.  I'm sitting besides AJ, next to 
the window, and Kevin is across from me.  I can feel their gazes upon me, AJ's 
accusatory, Kevin's knowing, as I gaze stubbornly out the tinted window as streetlights 
flash numbingly by.  

I feel old and hate it.  I miss Stephen suddenly, sharply, in the aftermath of my near 
seduction, and Kevin's lips leave a taint behind on mine that I can taste.  I can feel 
the darkness burning them and I wonder what my life would have been like without 
Vampires in it.  

I think I might have been happy getting married to a close friend and having three or 
four children.  I know with a certainty that I can't explain that I will never have 
children and in this instant I want Stephen's arms around me more than I could ever 
want for anything again, gorgeous Backstreet Boys included.  

He makes me laugh and not many do.  I'm the official jester and clown.  Its nice to be 
treasured without the threat of imminent death.  Stephen is my best friend, my lifeline, 
and I always feel so lost without him.  

I rest my forehead against the windowpane and sigh.  
         
**********************************************************************************

"Do I have to move to Kevin's room?" I demand, disgruntled, as I follow Brian to his room 
where I had chosen to dump my few belongings when we had arrived this morning before AJ 
dragged me shopping.  I'm exhausted because, it's been a very long day.  

He smiles gently at my obvious distress as he slides his key lock into the door and it 
opens with a click.  "Cat, child, you're pretending to be his girlfriend.  We can witch 
minds to an extent but, logistically, it'd be easiest on all involved if you weren't 
sleeping in other men's room..." 

I snort, obviously unconvinced.   "But any of ya'll can seduce me!" I whine as we enter 
the room.  I throw myself on the sofa I had hoped to spend the night on and fume 
stubbornly.  

Brian raises arched brows and I grumble.  "Well you can, if you tried hard enough.  It 
doesn't matter as long as one of you do."  

"I thought you don't want to be seduced.  You aren't exactly throwing yourself into our 
arms..."  

I glare.  Brian's eyes twinkle merrily.  Stupid bloodsucker with his logic and common 
sense.  

"I can't just whore myself out.  There's consequences to that kind of power shift, 
otherwise I would have jumped AJ last night."  Maybe.  

I can see the pity in his face as he goes to his bags before digging around for 
something to change into after a shower.  "Kevin won't hurt you, you know.  He's all 
bark and no bite, well, maybe a little bite, but nothing life threatening..."

I stare down at my clasped hands and answer softly, "I don't like his kisses."  

Brian's throaty chuckle follows my comment.  "Well, you'd be the first.  I've never 
heard any complaints before from anyone."  

"I don't like his kisses cause he makes me forget things.  I can't forget things Brian.  
If I do I'm afraid what will happen."

He moves to the sofa swiftly and silently, before bending so that we're face to face, 
clothes held in his long fingered hands.  "Catherine, whatever happens, if you need 
protection we'll protect you.  We wouldn't just abandon you if, if we do gain the 
power we seek."  

Pretty Brian.  Pretty, nice, kind Brian with so blue eyes.  I watch the lines crease 
and flex around his mouth as he speaks his lies.  I know he thinks he's telling the 
truth but I know better than they do, despite my humanity, my frailty.  

Maybe I understand better because of it.  

I laugh softly and touch Brian's cheek.  His skin is cool under my fingertips.  "Ya'll 
really don't understand anything of what it means to be Vampire, do you?"  

I don't give him a chance to reply before I slip off the couch and gather my duffel 
bag and the small suite case I was provided with to keep all my new clothes.  "Kevin's 
door is two down, right?" I ask, squaring my shoulders.  

Brian starts to speak but changes his mind.  He nods briefly, once.  I smile sadly 
and leave my sanctuary behind me.

**********************************************************************************

Kevin doesn't speak when he opens his door at my knock and finds me, irritated, at 
his step.  I step gingerly into the room and its remarkably like Brian's, only with 
Kevin things littering the ground and bed in neat disarray.  

I feel the beginnings of a smile.  I am not a clean person.  

I'm still poking around the sparse room when I hear the shower start from behind the 
closed bathroom door.  I shrug and deposit my two bags on Kevin's sofa before finding a 
pair of comfortable pajamas to replace the horrid skirt and trendy shirt.  I start to 
change, twice, and decide against it each time.  I'll wait until I'm in the nice, 
locked bathroom before I change, thank you.  

I head over to the room service menus instead because, wow, gotta love four star 
hotels and on staff chefs.  Dracula usually remembers to feed me when I'm around but 
I haven't eaten since McDonald's at the food court with AJ and I'm famished.  

I'm definitely in an 'eating' phase.  Usually I can forget to eat for a couple of days 
if I'm not careful.  It helps that I can instantly charge things to the Backstreet Boys' 
bill.  I hang up with a grin after spending nearly fifty dollars and find Kevin watching 
me from the bathroom doorway, in a towel.  

And oh boy, different kind of hunger stirs me because now he's all clean and wet.  Bad 
Cat, bad!  But his expression is distinctly annoyed and I resist the urge to jump for 
joy.  Yay for my talent towards the obnoxious.  

"Is there a reason you just ordered enough food to feed a small town, child?"  

"Maybe because no one remembered to feed me dinner and I'm hungry!"  

Kevin blinks and I smugly watch something close to consternation flashing across his 
handsome features.  "Oh, I guess, we, well, forgot."  

"I guess!" I snap sarcastically as I jump up and collect my pajamas.  "Get the food when 
they bring it up.  I'm taking a shower."  He doesn't have to let me by but he does, a 
glint of amusement in his emerald eyes.  I squeeze past Kevin's slick form and try not 
to think about the warmth of his strong and the smooth glide of muscle beneath his 
golden skin.  

I lock the door behind me, firmly, not that it would stop a truly determined Vampire, 
and proceed to take a very long shower.  A very long, cold, shower.

I dress in pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt, chilled in the cold hotel room, and 
saunter out, blonde hair piled into a high, tight pony tail.  I never bother to blow dry.  
I believe in low maintenance vanity, obviously.  

I ignore Kevin, who's watching ESPN sprawled across his bed, and fly towards the food 
where I happily begin to wolf down my three course meal.  Yummy.  We exists in a 
comfortable state of denial until I'm finished eating.  I'm utterly exhausted by now, 
and my wounded leg is killing me.  It's definitely time for bed.

I can feel Kevin's predatory gaze on me as I put the food cart back in the hallway, and 
then as I brush my teeth.  He doesn't speak though until I grab a blanket and extra pillow 
from the closet and head towards the sofa.  

"Where do you think you're going?" he demands in a lazy tone of command.  

I pause for a moment and stare stupidly at the lounging Vampire.  "Umm, bed.  Obvious 
much?"  

Kevin sits up slowly, with the grace of a pouncing panther, and smiles.  "I think its 
much more obvious that you're heading towards the couch.  The bed is more, well, this 
direction."  

"Thanks for the offer Kevin, but you can keep the bed."  

"I plan on it," he replies in mock seriousness, "but I also plan on you sharing it with 
me.  I'm generous like that."

I blink, swallow, and try to remember to breathe before I start screaming.  "Of all the 
pompous, arrogant... generous my ass!"  

He rises in one fluid motion, revealing himself tastefully clad in hunter green, silk, 
pajama pants and a black wife beater.  Yummy?  "That's what I hope to find out," Kevin 
all but purrs, his green eyes bleeding to black for the second time today.  

Geeze, could he have any more hormones?  Could I be any more tempted?  I am so seriously 
in trouble here.