| Jaffa Challenge 1 |
| Venue - 6th Form Common Room, Aylesbury Grammar School Date - 27/02/2002 Competitors Mo Das Ed Tang |
| The inaugaral Jaffa contest was over in a mere half hour as the man to become globally known as the Jaffa King made light work of Ed "The Chunderer" Tang. Yes this was where Mo "The Belly from Dehli" Das began his reign as king. His entrance music - "Why Can't We Be friends?" by Reel Big Fish - seemed to be a cunning ploy to lull "The Chunderer" into a false sense of security as "The Belly" meticulously and ruthlessly destroyed his hapless opponent. The odds seemed to be stacked against Tang from the start, his game plan of drinking copius amounts of water proved to be foolhardy and no match for Das' strict POWERADE diet. Being coached by Alberto "The Italian Stallion" Passaro, a future competitor on the circuit seemed to be an advantage for Ed but Passaro proved he couldn't cut it as a coach, as he was tactically outmanouvered by the inspirational Andrew "Pubeless Monk" McGill. There was little between the two competitors to start with but it wasn't long before Das began pulling away. Stirred by his fans, the impressive Tang refused to give up but he just couldn't compete with the awesome munching power of "The Belly from Dehli." Das then began wearing his victim down mentally stopping to mock him by eating a pot noodle whilst waiting for him to catch up. Such behaviour is looked down upon in the beautiful game and Das was warned to get on with the contest. And how he did! Staring out "The Cheeky Chunky Chinky Monkey" he reduced this great competitor to a broken man, wallowing in his own regurgitated Jaffa Cakes. The contest was over, and Das had won 61-57. Tang's score ranks very impressively compared to many other chubbier, higher rated contestants and all credit must go to the man for putting up a spirited fight until the end. He did not lose his pride by withdrawing when he wanted to, he pushed his body to its limits and beyond. Sacrificing his body for the sake of honour, may he live long and prosper! The day will be remembered as the day a champion emerged from the shadows - catipulted into the history books with an epic performance which will never be forgotten. But the real winner that day was the sport of Jaffa Cake Eating for it had found a home, amoungst the ego-driven, multi-stomached, never-say-die lads at Aylesbury Grammar School! LONG LIVE THE KING! |
| Unfortunately I was absent for the very first Jaffa match - called away on an important football match, but to stop you fans from missing out, I managed to persuade one of the contenders of the match, the former Jaffa King, Mo Das, to write a report on the event (and it is biased in every single way!). I'd like to thank Mo for taking his time on writing this account for the website. |