| Champion Interview |
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| He is known as "The Italian Stallion" and Bertie Passaro is an eating machine especially when it comes to eating the orange-jellied chocolate covered sponge cakes. And in an exclusive interview with the Official Jaffa Cake Challenge Website he tells us about his new role as the Jaffa King and what lies ahead of him in the future... |
| Chris: Thanks for this interview Bertie, and may I congratulate you on gaining the Jaffa King title. Bertie: Thank you. Chris: And getting straight into it, how did you find the Jaffa Contest? Bertie: Well, firstly I would like to thank you, Chris, for giving me the chance to express my much sought after views regardng the Jaffa World and to sincerely congratulate all the competitors in Jaffa Challende IV, even Showtime. But as for the contest itself, I am obviously delighted to have finally been given the chance to ascend to the pinnacle of the Jaffa World, and to have dleivered on all my pre-match promises. However to say that it was a walk-over does not do it justice to the other entrants, I really did anticipate winning with maybe 65-70, and although another 10 Jaffa Cakes does not sound like much of a gap, when you get to that level it really does take great willpower to eat those last few cakes. Chris: Do you think you can beat your record? Bertie: It is important remember that at 80 Jaffa Cakes I was the only person left in the competition and so who knows maybe I could go even further. I have to set myself the personal target of 100 Jaffa Cakes and although I don't want to start talking about retirement just yet, if I were to reach that elusive century then surely I would have nothing left to prove on the circuit. One thing that is clear in my mind is that of all the competitors on the circuit so far, there is no-one other than me that has a chance to stretch the boundaries of Jaffa Competition beyond 80 Jaffa Cakes. Chris: Would you say, that with this awesome record, you have ruined the sport of Jaffa Cake eating and perhaps scared off other competitors? Bertie: Those of you with more reliable memories will recall that before I rose to prominence in Jaffa Challenge 4, I stated that I would absolutely destroy all levl of competition, and that is exactly what I did. There is no-one who either truly wants to or has the talent and desire to compete with me. However this does not mean that the Jaffa World is ruined. I will always need people there in order to make up the numbers and force me to try and beat my own records, and there will always be people like "The Kev" who let their hearts and their mouthing off cover their physical limitations and allow their pre-match talking to write cheques that their stomachs can't hope to cash. Chris: Fair point. Going off at a slight tangent here, what are your comments on the proposed Jaffa "Team" Event which has been demanded by some Jaffa fans? Do you think it should be introduced and if so, how soon? Bertie: There is another possible way of extending the Jaffa Competition and prevent it from destruction, and although I am not adversed to the idea of Jaffa Doubles as a principle, I would advise caution. Don't devalue competition by having all kinds of contests all the time because once it's value is depleted there is a slim chance of getting it back. However, don't be dicks about the situation and try to order people around, especially not me, because when it comes down to it no-one's going to really care. Why not try and get that fallen hero Mo Das and Mark together, I've said before that I would be more than willing to particpate in the inaugural team competition with me and Tang against the two FORMER Jaffa Champs. As far as the timing of the introduction of the team game, I would like to think that I would be able to at least have established myself as the champion before any other major happenings in the Jaffa World. Chris: Who would you like to see challenging you for the title in the next event? Bertie: You know it really doesn't matter, I will try as man worthy people as possible, however I am no-one's puppet and won't be participating every week. Also I don't want to be wasting my time with little losers like Gibby, or "The Rat-Boy," as I will be referring to him from now on. The Problem with people like "The Rat-Boy" is that there is just no way they stand a chance of winning but desperately want to get in on the action, so while "The Rat-Boy" is moaning like a cheap whore, there are other people who are much more worthy of a shot but who get less attention because people like him keep speaking up. And as the great Showtime once said, "We need more fat-assed guys," and I suppose he could be right, I won't name any wide-boys here, I'm not really into childish name calling, however it is about time one or two of them stepped forward onto the frontline of the battlefield and tried to shut me up. The only thing I would say to any potential competitors is this, think properly before you say anything, in the end you're all going to be losers and the ones which are more humble will have fewer words to swallow, and be careful what you ask for because if you get a shot the you will have to push you're body to the limit, there is no honour in quitiing before you either win or are sick from trying. Chris: Indeed. But it's just not your body, you have to be mentally strong as well. And to the final question, is it true you have given Rob Taylor and Andrew "The Kev" Evans the first oportunity to snatch your title from you in a clash on September 20th? Bertie: Essentialy this rumour is true, I did issue a challenge to both of them before Jaffa Challenge 4 and hope that they are physically able to compete with me. However I did not set the date for the 20th, although I see no real problem with that. And although I would never be ignorant enough as to not take their competition seriously, my main aim will be to break my own Jaffa World Record and get nearer to that 100. Chris: Thanks Bertie. Anything you would like to add? Bertie: Yeh, I'd like to finish by saying thanks to all of my entourage; Tom Layfield (manager), Ed "The Chunderer" Tang (coach and mystical guru), Phil Fellows (PR man and head cheerleader), Rob Price (court jester and prt-time transvestite for hire) and Tommy "Showtime" Bennett (has no official post as of yet but is more than welcome within the clique). And also three messages to the people out there: "Benito is not Finito" "F**k the whale..... Save the Quail!" "And finally there's only one Ricky Villa. Free the Tottenham One!!" Chris: Thank you again Bertie. |
| I would like to have this opportunity to give anybody who thinks they are tough enough to take on Bertie to email me and put their name down for the next Challenge. Your position will not be guaranteed if you send in an email. |