WELCOME TO THE STORY OF PHILIPPA!
Please click here to see a picture of her taken on Christmas Day 1993.
Philippa was born on 18th March 1980. Whereas her sister was a little tomboy, Philippa was a proper little lady. She was very sensitive, especially towards other people's feelings. She would forego many things rather that risk upsetting or outshining friends and colleagues. Material things and adulation she could live without. The only concern she had was that she always did her best.
Her main interest was with dancing, she had joined a local dance school and was learning ballet, tap, and modern dance. She also took part in the shows, festivals, and competitions that the school either organised or entered. She would often help with the organisation of these events, and would always be available to assist with the younger pupils.
In April 1993 she took part in the dance school's show at a local theatre, and even took on some extra roles, having made some suggestions to improve sections of the show. She never put herself forward for the lead roles and was never jealous or contemptuous of those that did. To be part of the team was her reward.The came September and the return to school. Philippa became ill with the symptoms of Flu. She complained that he legs ached and she felt weak and tired. Our doctor diagnosed a virus and told her to rest. After a week we took her back and a second doctor agreed with the first. Finally a week later the first doctor decided to have a blood test done to identify the virus. This took another week and we were now into October. When the blood test results came back the doctor sent her to the hospital, but they were still looking for a virus. After a week with no further progress, the hospital dis a CAT scan and found what they considered to be an abcess on Philippa's liver. An attempt to drain it was made and it was found that the lump was solid. They sent the very small sample that came out in the needle to a London hospital for investigation. They did not think it necessary to perfom a proper biopsy!
The result of the investigation was that the tissue appeared benign. Our local hospital decided that a specialist childrens hospital should perform the operation to remove this lump and so Philippa was transfered to yet another London Hospital. She was there for a further 10 days while this hospital after reviewing her records decided a full biopsy was required as the tissue sample used originally was insufficient for a proper diagonis. The biopsy was performed and the sample analysed. The result showed that she had a rare form of cancer and that the lump was in fact a tumour growing from the bottom rib and pressing onto the liver.
The task of telling Philippa that she had cancer fell to me. I suppose I could have passed it over to the medical staff, but hell! This was MY daughter and I owed it to her to tell her myself. If she was going to have to face what could easily be (and indeed was) a death sentence, then I was going to have to come to terms with it as well, and I was not going to do that if I chickened out at this stage.
I pray to God that no-one has to go though that experience.
Anyway, there I was trying to find the right words to break this news as gently as possible, and there was Philippa, having guessed the outcome, waiting for me to get to the point. When I finally managed to spit it out, she looked at me and asked "Is there anything the Doctors can do?" I explained that some forms of cancer can be treated, sometimes successfully and sometime not. Philippa just said "OK then. Lets get on with it." There was no weeping and wailing or asking "Why me?". Just that calm "Lets get on with it".
And so, for the next 9 months, thats how she was. Calm, unworried, even when things took a turn for the worst. She never once complained or asked "Why me?". She even made sure that when attending the hospital for treatment, the doctors knew just who was in charge - She was!.
Although confined to hospital during the periods of treatment with chemotherapy (they could not operate or use radiation due to the ammount of cancer cells in the bone marrow), Philippa still attended school and dancing lessons during the intervals she was at home. She set out from the begining to ensure she lived her life as normal as possible. She refused to be treated differently from anyone else. In fact she got positivly annoyed if anyone fussed over her.
Eventually, the hospital told me that there was nothing further they could do, as the chemotherapy had not cleared the bone marrow, and as it was the strongest available there was no alternative. Basically they were saying "Take your daughter home to die". Unbeknown to me, Philippa had actually told one of her dance teachers, the week before, that if she was going to die, then she wanted to be at home when it happened. As her father, I could not bring myself to tell her that there was no hope left, but I think (I know) from some of the things she said, she knew what the score was. She didn't let on to us because she didn't want us to worry.
We could not even take her on that last "Holiday of a Lifetime" as the doctors said due to the increasing tumors, she would never survive the take-off, let alone the flight. So we took her on a day trip across to France. She invited her best friend, Mariko to come with us. We got up that morning and Philippa mentioned that her legs felt weak and wobbly. We decided to put a wheelchair in the car just to be on the safe side, so that she could at least sit down for while if ahe needed to. We set off and arrived at Dover for the ferry crossing. While we waited to board, the three girls (my wife, Philippa and Mariko) we to use the lavatories. I was waiting by the car, when Mariko suddenly appeared and aske me to bring the Wheelchair over. Philippa had lost all feeling in her legs and all control of them.
I said "ok thats it, we'd better head for home". Philippa look me straight in the eye and said "I promised Mariko a day out and I'm going to make sure she has a day out!. After all why else did we bring the Wheelchair?". I tell you - there's no way you can win that arguement.
So we had our day out - and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, including Philippa who kept a smile on her face all day.
The week before this incident, the dance school had been taking part in a week long festival on the outskirts of London, and Philippa, despite being told by the doctors that she couldn't take part, attended every day with her costumes and shoes, and the organisers, knowing the sitiuation, had arranged that if she felt up to dancing, would fit her routines into the schedule without delay. Unfortunately, Philippa didn't have the strength to take part, but she did watch and cheer on her friends.
She had also been attending school as often as she could, and had even request work to take home with her, as she wanted to keep up with everyone else. And when one of her classmates was taken into hospital with anorexia, Philippa insisted on visiting her (despite being in her wheelchair). Even the loss of her hair, due to the chemotherapy, did not stop Philippa. The hospital arrange for a wig to be provided, but Philippa refused to wear it. She brought herself a hat and that became her trademark. It was the only concession she made, as she felt that people would be uncomfortable with her baldness.
Unwilling to admit we were about to loose our daughter, we started to explore alternative treatments. We registered her with a homeopath and followed his advice. Friends of one of Philippa's dance teachers came round. They are Born-Again Christians, and they sat a prayed with Philippa. She was not very comfortable with this, although they were a very nice couple, and devoutly believed in what they were doing. Both Philippa and I thought they were a little over top with their views and statements, and Philippa especially felt unmoved by it. (Please don't think I am knocking this couple, because I am not. Their methods have worked fine with other people I know and their faith is complete. If they are happy then so am I.)
Friends took Philippa to Birmingham for a meeting held by an world reknown Christian Healer. This also left Philippa cold, and also a little frightened. (Sometimes these things can be a little overpowering.) The next stage was to visit a healer whose name was given to me by my brother, living in Califirnia he had met this healer a couple of years earlier whilst on holiday here in England. Peter, the healer, was the nicest man you hope to meet. He is an artist as well as a healer. He sat down with Philippa and explained as best he could his understanding of how healing worked and how the cancer may have come about. At this point I had no knowledge of Spiritualism, or any of the alternate religions. I just knew that the orthodox religion that I had been brought up in was not meeting my needs spiritually. After the first session with Peter, Philippa said to me on our way home, " Oh Dad that was so nice, he made so much sense. Can we come back soon".
We went back six or seven times in the short time left.
Now, one of the things Peter had explained to her was that healing may not always cure the disease, but it could still be termed a success if it helps the spirit to pass over in peace! It was these sentiments that struck a cord with us.
As she strength started to fail, we moved her bed downstairs, so that she could remain at the centre of family life. She was by this time confined to the bed, and someone had to sleep downstairs with her in order to attend to her needs. Then on Monday 11th July 1994, she request forcefully demanded that her bed be returned to her room. We tried to persuade her to remain downstairs but she insisted. So we moved her back up stairs. By Wednesday she was all but in a coma, only occasionally surfacing, and on Saturday 16th July 1994, Philippa passed peacefully into the World of Spirit.
She had known her time was approaching, and she wanted to be in her own room when it happened.
Philippa was the bravest and most unselfish person I have know. I am proud to have had the honour of being her father. The way she conducted herself through the last nine months of her Earthly life is an inspiration to all.
A short while later, one of her dance teachers, told us that on the days that Philippa had accompanied her to a local primary school that she helped out on a part-time basis, the was a young boy suffering from Lukiemia. Philippa used to sit quietly with him and talk about the experiences they were both undergoing. She played a great part in keeping his spirits up and helping him to fight the disease that was slowly killing him.
Sadly young Alex passed to Spirit around about six months after Philippa. I'm certain she was there to welcome him over.
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home Page
