Jokes

 

 

Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi ….   Kumble brings a bottle of

 pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.??

Tendulkar is an opener.

 

 

The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie ' heart is umbrella '.

Which movie did he really want to see?

Dil Chhata Hai!

 

 

Who kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai

par Dhadkan main nahi ?

aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

What will u call a person who is leaving India?

Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

 

 

Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?

Adidas.

 

 

Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between

 comes a well. Luv fells into the well. Why?

Because Luv is blind!!!!!!!!  

 

Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?

…… Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Jackie chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..

D'Cold.

Chain ki saans - D'cold.

 

 

Chalo ab batao.... Jackie chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai?

D'Cold again.

kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi.

 

 

 

 

ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED

SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY,

 

WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES...

 

MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,

 

MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI,

 

MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.

SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

"Help..... the Titanic is going to be drowned..."

Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God.....

 

Just then a Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.

Italian: How far is land, from here?

Sardarji: Two miles.

Italian: Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise.

I have got the experience of swimming  

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take
this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.


Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.


A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,
order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll
have a
scotch and soda."


Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in
two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.


An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.


Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.



1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.


Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.


Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.


Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.


Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?


Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.


Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.


Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?


Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.


Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?


Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
the game went into extra time.