RECAP: Last chapter...Sakura decided she wanted to go to Hong Kong. Syaoran was being dumb...

Chapter 2 - Sakura and the Hopeless War

Syaoran opened his eyes. Something had woken him. He frowned, staring up at the ceiling above him. Something had woken him up. His head started aching. He had drinken too much. Syaoran sat up, shivering as cold air met his bare chest. A hand was resting across his lower stomach. Syaoran frowned once more, confused. He looked over to find Mandu soundly asleep. He picked her hand up and set it back down at her side. He looked at the clock. It was past midnight. He needed to go home. He looked around the dark room for his clothes. They laid strewn across a chair beside him. He carefully got up, trying not to wake the girl up.

Syaoran pulled on his shirt and looked towards the door. The house was completely quiet. But yet, he had woken out of his drunken sleep for something important. Syaoran felt it in his mind. He couldn’t distinguish it. It was something familiar, yet... far away. Is it... Syaoran opened the door quietly, sneaking down the hall towards the door to outside. He grabbed his keys as he passed the kitchen counter of her house and continued outside.

His head ached from the change in temperature. Even the night was hot. He winced as he thought of riding his bike home. It would be so loud. Syaoran continued to it all the same. He was able to become alert as he pondered the feeling he had gotten. Why did he feel her? She wasn’t in Hong Kong. Perhaps she was using a large spell. Syaoran refused to let his mind pursue the thought. It continued without his aproval. He clambered onto his bike and started it, taking off to his house immediately.

- - - - -

Syaoran walked into his house, half expecting to find her there waiting. But that was ridiculous. He needed to focus on waking himself out of a hang over. He couldn’t afford trouble with the elders. The terms under which he worked were very unstable. Syaoran looked up the dark stairs. All his sisters were fast asleep. He was going delusional. He hadn’t thought about her in ages. Why should he put any thought to her now, at twelve thirty at night? He yawned and dragged his feet up the stairs. His constant headache did not rest.

Syaoran could hear Tyung scolding him. She would have been furious to find him coming home in such a weak state. A school night, no less, with training early in the morning. Syaoran shuddered to think of waking in the early hours. The Sensei was just waiting for him to slip up. If I sleep for a while, I should be alright. If all else fails, I’ll make myself sick in the morning. He can’t get upset with me for catching a mysterious flu. Syaoran agreed with himself, continuing into his bedroom. He didn’t bother with the light, only pulled the door shut behind him.

Syaoran looked over his spacious room. Moonlight streamed in around the curtains on his window. It was so empty. Syaoran ambled over to his bed side, collapsing onto the side of it. He hadn’t put a thought towards her for at least a year. Why now? Syaoran pulled his blankets over him, shutting his eyes in drowsiness. His eyelids were so heavy. He tried to remember what he had done the night before. It was a far off, blurry memory. That was okay. He’d rather not remember. Waking up next to the black haired slut told him all he needed to know.

Syaoran yawned and rolled onto his side, staring at his closet doors. There was no point in questioning himself. He would fall back into the old habit’s snare. Why should he give up the few havens he had in the world? There were only a handful of things he could do that gave him any type of pleasure. He wouldn’t stop on the basis of morality. Why was he even thinking of morals?

If she wants me to notice her aura, she’ll have to try something else. I don’t care about her anymore. It’s been too long. I don’t care what she thinks of me and who I’ve become. It’s her fault in the first place. If she wants to question my standards, she should look at herself.

- - - - - - - - - -

Chang Mandu had been following him around all morning like a lost puppy. Syaoran had done his best to ignore her at first, but her persistent complaints were getting to him. She was currently sitting next to him in lunch, shifting with irritation and letting out little sighs of aggrivation. She hated it when he was so quiet. Syaoran didn’t care. It wasn’t his fault she was so ignorant to him using her.

"Why don’t you ever stay?" She finally asked, flipping her long black hair over her shoulders. Her brown eyes pressed him for an answer.

Syaoran continued eating his sandwich casually. "I’d rather sleep in my own bed," he answered simply.

She let out a long, dissatisfied sigh. "Syaoran, you’re such a jerk sometimes. I have no idea how you really feel. We’ve been playing this game for months now, and I don’t think I’ve even heard you call me by my name."

Syaoran shrugged, hardly paying attention to her pleas. She just didn’t get it.

Mandu set down her drink loudly, glaring at him. "Syaoran, I just don’t think I want to be with you. I’m not sure you even care about me."

Syaoran glanced at her for a moment. Her eyes were glossy, but she wasn’t going to cry. She scowled at him. He looked back to his food, unbothered. She let out a shakey breath and stood up, loudly leaving the lunch table. Syaoran watched from the corner of his eye as she breezed past him in a selfish rage. He had to keep himself from laughing.

Yundi eyed Syaoran from across the table. He shook his head, smiling. "Boy.... You sure handled that well."

Syaoran shrugged. "She’ll be back. I bet by the end of tonight’s game, she’ll be following me around again."

Ryoto shook his head. "Then you have the making up to look forward to. That’s always wonderful."

Syaoran sighed. He didn’t feel like thinking about her. She was getting on his nerves. He needed to find someone else to use. Someone who wasn’t so shallow. He glanced around the lunch room, looking for such a person. None existed.

"Except... you’re getting tired of her, aren’t you?" Yundi guessed, watching Syaoran.

Syaoran brought his glare to Yundi. They were all so weak, so pointless. They had no idea how dependent they were on his opinion. He shrugged, then went back to his food. It was so hard to eat in peace. He found his thoughts wondering breifly to her. He didn’t want to think of her. He shut her out. But she seemed so close, so sudden. He ignored it. He had a soccer game to look forward to. Maybe some other girl would appeal to him at the post game party. He couldn’t drink this time. It had been too close this morning with the Sensei. Syaoran lost himself in such thoughts, losing Sakura’s aura in the process.

______________________________________________________________________

Sakura jittered in the airplane seat. It was so early, and yet she had never been more awake. She looked out the window once more. Clouds rolled beneath the plane. She shivered with nervousness. It had been one thing to think about going. Actually showing up was totally different. She fretted over what she would say. What would he be doing when she got there? What if he wasn’t there? What if he was on a trip somewhere?

But Sakura could feel him there. He was home. She yawned despite her energy. The plane ride was taking way too long. But as she peered out the window, she could see the ocean beneath her. They were lowering down. She tapped her hand on her knee in anxiety. The older man beside her smiled.

"Going home?" He guessed.

Sakura woke from her thoughts quickly. "Huh? Oh, no. I’m visiting someone I haven’t seen in a long time."

He smiled and nodded. "That’s wonderful. Does he know you’re coming?"

Sakura shook her head. "No, he- wait a minute... How did you know it was a he?"

"You had that look in your eye."

Sakura smiled, then looked at her feet. Was she that obvious? "Yeah... Well, no. He doesn’t know I’m coming. I’m so nervous."

He laughed. "I could see that."

Sakura blushed. She was going to be so pathetic in front of Syaoran. He would see right off the bat she was helplessly in love. "I just... I have some things I’ve needed to tell him for a long time. I’m hoping I’m not too late."

He shook his head. "A sweet girl like you, I’m sure he couldn’t say no."

Sakura smiled, though slightly weirded out, and laughed weakly. She looked back to the window in an uncomfortable silence. Luckily, the plane was landing. She could see the runway of the Hong Kong International Airport stretch in front of them. The engines kicked in, slowing the plane down quickly. Sakura sat back in her seat, gripping her carry on bag between her feet under the seat in front of her.

The stewardesses began their little welcome speech over the intercom. "It is currently 28 Degrees Celsius in downtown Hong Kong. The time is nine in the morning." She began speaking in different languages for the different passengers. Sakura looked down at her skirt, grateful to have a good ventilation system.

Sakura had insisted Tomoyo make her a stunning outfit for her reunion day. She had agreed on a casual yet flattering outfit with lots of green mixed in. Sakura had loved the outfit Tomoyo had created. Elegant yet durable, innocent yet flattering... She couldn’t wait to see him. She knew she had changed in looks considerably over the past two years or so. She wondered how he had grown up. She hoped she would recognize him. Sakura jumped up as soon as the man beside her had clear out. She grabbed her luggage and rushed out of the plane, longing for some space of her own.

She stepped into the airport nervously, trying to stay calm. Travelling alone was so frightening. I’m a big girl, I can handle this. I just have to find a taxi service and set out. Then it’ll be a piece of cake. I’ll just show up and be like ‘Hi! Syaoran, remember me?’... well... I’ll think of what to say later. Right now, I just have to find a taxi service... Sakura wandered over to the baggage claim, finding her suitcase conveniently rolling down the way. She grabbed it and headed off to the doors. She stepped out onto the sidewalk. She couldn’t believe the heat. It was disgusting.

At least Tomoyo made the shirt sleeveless. Sakura wandered down the sidewalk nervously. Should she just flag one down? She watched a man flag down a taxi. It seemed simple enough. She held out her hand at the first one she saw. It drove right past her. She frowned in confusion. The same cab stopped for a business man just down the road. She tried once more. No luck. I’m just not doing it with authority. She noticed a bus coming down the road. A mass of people moved around her, ready to get on the bus. She looked up at the bus’s posted route. She looked down at the address she held in her shakey hands. They didn’t match.

Maybe it’s near his house, I just don’t know cause I don’t know any street names... Sakura figured it was helpless. She had to get a taxi because they would be the only ones able to get her exactly where she wanted to be. She watched the huge bus roar by, then looked on at the incoming cars. Taxis mixed in everywhere. She was sure to find one to take her. She watched a woman in her midthirties step onto the street, barely even looking before opening a cab door and setlling in. Sakura side with dismay. She was going to have to start fending for herself. No one was going to help her here. She took a daring step off the sidewalk, then held out her hand at an incoming cab. The car stopped. She tried to contain herself and scurried into the backseat.

It was so awkward, entrusting your life to someone you didn’t know. She shut the door, then read the address off, adding please to the end of it. The man drove on without a reponse. Sakura sat in the uncomfortable backseat, looking out the window. People were everywhere. She shifted her weight, trying to find a good position to sit. She longed to ask how long it would take to get there. She glanced at the man’s face in the mirror. He was just staring out the windshield, heedless to the crazy traffic of the inner city streets. Sakura gripped the handle on the door unconsciously. It would be such a pity to die in a car wreck just minutes from his house. Her eyes widened as a car cut them off. The man just blared his horn and continued to drive as if nothing had happened. Sakura decided not to watch the driving.

The car made slow progress through the bumper-to-bumper traffic of the city. They finally got onto a main highway where they reached quicker speeds. The man drove with such ease. He must know the town like the back of his hand. How could he know all these roads? Hong Kong is huge! He pulled off on an exit and began driving down a road that looked a little more like Syaoran’s. She began to feel dizzy. She felt panic creeping in as she began to doubt her decision. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to have a surprise visit. What if he was busy? What if he didn’t even want to see her?

Sakura shook her leg nervously, staring wide eyed out the window. The landscaping was starting to look very familiar. The car slowed and the man pulled off to the side. "This is as far as we go."

Sakura looked up at the driver, then hastily pulled out her wallet. She payed him what he ordered, then stepped out of the car, luggage in hand. She watched him drive away. She found herself stranded on a sidewalk. She looked around. It looked familiar, but she had no idea what direction to go. She could see a treeline in the distance. Maybe that was the thick woods that was behind the clan’s property. She decided to pursue it, and began walking euphorically towards her destination.

Side roads went everywhere. Sakura looked down each of them. None of them had the house she was searching for. She continued towards treeline. A large building was coming into view. Sakura squinted at it. She slowly recognized it. It was the horse barn Raion and Iata were in. She felt a spell of dizziness come upon her. She was being so stupid, showing up all of the sudden. What had she been thinking?

Sakura contemplated turning around and buying a hotel until her flight the week later. But the thought of running out of money forced her to keep going. I’m an idiot! What was I thinking? It was easy to sit back at home and think ‘I’m going to go and make everything better’. But now... Now I’m stranded on some sidewalk in Hong Kong searching for his house, not even sure if he wants to see me. Maybe he’ll slam the door in my face. The thought of actually meeting face to face with him was making her steps faulter. It had been so long... and their exit so awkward. To just walk up and say hello seemed too lowly. She didn’t deserve his welcome.

Sakura began wishing for something familiar. Something like a card springing up out of no where. She could fight that. That was a battle she could do. The emotional, mental war she was setting herself up for was one she wasn’t so sure she could win. But his words rang in her mind still, clear as if he had just said them.’If you ever need my help, you can have it’. He said it. It’s undeniable. So what if he didn’t think I’d actually take him up on it. He said it, so I’m believing him and trusting his promise really meant something. Sakura felt a little bit better with the reassurance. She continued down the road, switching her suitcase to her other hand. She began to wish she had packed a little lighter. Maybe fit everything into a bookbag, so she wouldn’t have to look so dumb walking down the road. She pondered why the taxi driver had ripped her off. Perhaps he didn’t like driving in the area. Sakura couldn’t suppose why not. It was the prettiest part of Hong Kong she had seen.

She slowed at a side road, seeing a familiar house looming in the distance. She sent her mind out, searching for his aura. She didn’t feel it near. She worried for a moment, then felt releieved at the thought of not meeting him. Maybe Meilin would welcome her in and spare her the pain of introduction. She slowly turned down the road, eyes glued to the house.

There was no movement down the streets. Everyone else seemed to have gone somewhere. She walked briskly, wanting to get it over with. She wanted to skip two hours ahead, past all of the painful hellos. But she couldn’t. The best she could do was detach herself from all emotions for as long as possible. She could see the full front yard. She looked nervously at the windows. No one was in them. She searched for his aura. It was near, but not that near. She frowned. Where would he be?

Syaoran could be anywhere. He’s the world’s most busy person. He’s probably doing something amazing and exciting for the elders. Sakura had convinced herself he wasn’t home. She walked to the door, feeling like her feet weren’t touching the ground. None of her seemed to be working properly. She slowed as she reached the towering front door. The doorbell sat lodged in the wall. She reached out with a shakey hand. She waited for her hand to settle down. It didn’t. She sighed and pressed the button. She could hear the noise ring through the house. She heard footsteps. She heard unlatching. Her heart raced despite her convinction that Syaoran was not home.

A distantly familiar girl opened the door, her eyebrows knitting into a frown as she looked at Sakura. "Hello....." Her frown lifted and she smiled. "Sakura, aren’t you?"

Sakura smiled and nodded, glancing around her to see if Syaoran was anywhere in sight. He wasn’t. She looked back to the girl.

"Come in, please come in. I know it’s so wretched and hot out there..."

Sakura gladly stepped into the air conditioned home, hands slipping with sweat on the handle of her suitcase. It felt wonderful to be in out of the sun. Sakura didn’t know what to say. It was quite an awkward situation. The girl saved her.

"So are you staying in Hong Kong?"

Sakura noticed she was eyeing her suitcase. Sakura nodded. "Yes. I’m sorry to come so unexpected..."

The girl shook her head. "No, no, it’s quite alright. There’s always room here. So I suppose.... you were here to see Syaoran-san?"

Sakura nodded, feeling her nerves rise up. "Yeah, he isn’t home, is he?"

She shook her head once more. "No, I’m afraid he isn’t. He had a soccer game, I think... then the party afterwards... Actually, I think the game is ending right about now. You might be able to catch him before he goes off to the party."

Sakura felt her muscles tense. "Um..."

"But, you don’t have to go. You’re free to stay here and wait till he gets back... though... it’s not usually until very late... Are you planning on staying here? I’m sure Syaoran wouldn’t mind seeing you..."

Sakura couldn’t help notice something apprehensive about the girl’s manner. Had Syaoran told them what had happened in Japan? No, that wasn’t very Syaoran-like. "Well... I really don’t want to throw myself into your house. I can buy a hotel room, if it’d be easier..."

"No, no! Actually, I think it may be good for him... He seemed to act normal around you... except, before our mother and everything... Oh... I’m ranting. Why don’t you go get settled upstairs? I’ll show you where you can stay."

Sakura smiled warmly. At least she was saved the expense of hotel fees. She had been hoping she would be able to stay in their guest room again. Maybe getting here when Syaoran was gone was a good thing. She followed the girl upstairs and down the hall. The room looked unchanged from when Sakura had been there over two years ago. It seemed unreal. She smiled at his sister.

"I’m sorry this is so awkward... I just wanted to surprise him. I suppose the smart thing to do would have been to call you and arrange it..."

The girl shook her head. "Nonsense. Like I said, it will be good for him."

Sakura couldn’t help but notice the girl seemed to be doubting her own words. It was so awkward. They stood in the doorway silently for a moment, then Sakura decided to take the initiative. She set her things down in the room, glad to have the bookbag off her back. "Could you tell me where the soccer field is?"

The girl nodded. "Sure. It’s not hard to find. Could you see the horse farm on your way here?"

Sakura nodded.

"Well, follow the sidewalk towards that, then take the first right. It’s right on that road. It’s not a far walk, but I could drive you there if you’d rather spare the heat."

Sakura shook her head. "No, walking will be fine."

"Alright. Well, feel free to come back as you please. Me, Daikal, and Lai will be around if you need us."

Sakura smiled graciously. "Thanks so much. I’m sorry it had to be so awkward...."

The girl smiled once more at Sakura’s persistence. "Don’t worry!"

Sakura nodded, then headed with her silently back down the stairs. Sakura opened the front door and let herself out, back into the heat. She let out a long, shakey breath. Well... at least that part’s out of the way. I have somewhere to sleep....Now for the hard part... Sakura began walking towards the barn. Her legs seemed to buckle under every step. She reminded herself who she was seeing. It only made them worse.

Sakura turned right down the short side road she had been directed. She could see a clearing in the distance. There were so many people running around. How was she going to pick him out? But she could feel his aura. It was strong. She meddled with her hair, hoping the sun and sweat from her walk hadn’t ruined it. She scolded herself for being so superficial and continued on. There were cars lined up along the street. She overlooked them. They were all so expensive. She was glad she hadn’t driven her own car, knowing she wouldn’t have fit in. A motorcycle caught her eye. It was very nice looking. Also very dangerous. Those are the kind of things people like Mark drive around to impress girls. They go way too fast and are way too open. Sakura brought her eyes to the field. She could make out faces now. She searched frantically for Syaoran. She desperately wanted to spot him before he noticed her.

And, in the far side of the field, she saw him. It looked like he hadn’t changed much. She could see his dark amber hair from where she stood. He looked taller, but that was to be expected. The rest, she couldn’t make out. There was a girl with him, hanging on his arm. From his body language she could already tell he was annoyed with her. She squinted. It wasn’t Meilin. She kept walking, searching for a good place to stop and stand. Should she walk over to him? No... I’ll just wait here. One of these cars is bound to be his. She fount a spot shadowed by a tree. She stopped under it, leaning against the heavy trunk. She felt so stupid, so vulnerable. She was really going out on a limb. She hoped he would see her soon. He was getting closer. She could recognize the girl as one of the ones that had been at Meilin’s pool party. She had been the one that rejected Teller. Sakura had taken an immediate dislike to her. And there she was, hanging on Syaoran like he was a jungle gym. And he just kept walking.

- - -

Syaoran pulled on his arm, trying to get it out of Mandu’s grasp. She had apologized as predicted after the game. He didn’t really feel like being with her. But, he supposed, if he wasn’t going to drink that night, she was his only possibility of escape. He glanced at her. She was getting too familiar. He was sick of predicting her every move and thought. He sighed and looked back to where Teller and Alexis were having an arguement. They were so dumb. And yet, Alexis was one of the few people he respected. At least someone recognized him for what he was.

Syaoran looked back towards his bike, longing for some type of escape. Something was going off in his mind. He frowned, ignoring it. He was tired of sensing things. That only meant the elders were going to summon him into another mission. He didn’t feel like working. The money was okay, but he didn’t need it. But why wouldn’t his mind turn off? He gave in, recognizing the feeling. The second he recognized it, he pushed it out of his mind. Mandu wouldn’t stop pulling on his arm. He glared at her, aggrivated. Then he realized the tree had caught his eye. He frowned and looked back to it. A girl was standing under it. He knew her from somewhere. Syaoran froze in midstep, staring in disbelief.

Mandu frowned as Syaoran stopped, forcing her to stop as well. She looked at him. He was pale. Syaoran never went pale. He never lost his calm, aloof scowl. She waited for him to explain himself. In frustration, she followed his gaze to the tree. A girl was standing, smiling and waving. She recognized her from somewhere. Then it hit her. It was that girl that had visited Syaoran forever ago. The one everyone said he was in love with. What nerve did she have showing up here? Mandu glared at Syaoran, waiting for him to realize he hadn’t blinked for almost a whole minute. He stood, motionless.

"Syaoran, what are you doing?" She asked, loudly voicing her irritation.

Syaoran turned his stare into a scowl. What was she doing there? What the hell is she doing here! He watched her through his glaring eyes. She still held her innocent, pathetic smile. He made no move towards her. She hesitated before walking slowly from the shelter of the tree towards him. Syaoran watched her, his eyes locked on her face. She pretended not to notice. He felt himself shake with anger. He silenced it, yanking his arm back from Mandu. She pouted.

Sakura could feel herself shaking. He was just standing there, staring at her. His scowl had grown more intimidating with the developement of his features. She tried not to let it deter her. She looked at the ground in front of her, avoiding his eyes at all costs. There was something terribly frightening in the way he watched her. She stopped in front of him, looking up and forcing a smile. "Hi, Syaoran-kun," she said breathlessly.

Syaoran could feel himself start to fall apart under her emerald gaze. He hadn’t been prepared for this. How could he expect her to just show up after a soccer game? He didn’t have time for her in his life. He couldn’t take this added stress. He searched for something to stabilize himself on. He found his old anger. It was something familiar. Something that had kept him safe. "What are you doing here, Kinomoto?"

Sakura had to occupy her eyes in the moving cars to keep from noticing the loathsome way he spoke. "I, um... I needed to talk to you." She looked back at him, adding a hopeful smile. There was no reaction. She couldn’t even recognize his eyes. She had never seem him so cold. Yet he acted as if it was completely acceptable.

Syaoran couldn’t believe she had the nerve to do something so stupid. His shock was saving him alot of grief. He watched her for one second, then brushed past her, storming towards his bike. He wasn’t going to deal with this. She should just get a hint and leave. Syaoran heard Mandu trotting after him in her weak jog. He payed no attention. He just wanted to get out. He got on and started it, not waiting for Mandu to start her car to follow him. He peeled out and headed towards no particular destination.

Sakura stared off at the disappearing bike in shock. She had expected a strange and awkward introduction. She hadn’t expected him to do that. She felt tears prick at the edge of her eyes. She had missed him so much. But she didn’t feel like she had even seen him. She took a deep breath, rooted in place on the soccer field.

"Kinomoto-san?" A voice from behind called.

Sakura blinked for a moment, trying to break away from her trance. She finally turned. It was Meilin. She walked up, a shocked expression. It immediately turned to a frown. "What are you doing in Hong Kong?"

Sakura was astounded. The amount of hostility she recieved for going out on such a limb was impeccable. She blinked and looked back towards Syaoran’s disappearing bike. "I, uh..."

Meilin felt herself pitying Sakura. She shook her head. "It’s hopeless. He’s not going to talk to you. I would have thought you’d know that."

Sakura shook her head, still staring blankly down the road. "He just....left."

Meilin let out a long sigh. Sakura seemed so innocent, even now. She truly had no idea what she had done had affected him so. "Where are you staying?"

Sakura blinked for a second, then turned to Meilin. "At... at his house."

Meilin bit her lip. "Hm...You’ve talked to his sisters, then?"

Sakura nodded. "They were quite.... happy to see me..."

Meilin smiled weakly. Sakura was so fragile. So sensitive. It looked like she was using all of her brainpower to keep from crying. "I suggest you go back there and hang out in your room for a day or two.... It’s going to take him a while to accept you’re even here."

Sakura looked at the freshly cut grass under her feet. She had been so excited. So many hopes raised. She was so foolish, so naive. "I’m an idiot, aren’t I?" She muttered.

Meilin let out a sigh. "Well... Kinomoto-san... you’ve been a bit dense this time."

Sakura sighed loudly. She looked up at Meilin. "My plane doesn’t leave for another week..." She looked towards the tree line again. She felt hope surge up once more. She shouldn’t give up so quickly. Syaoran had made a promise, and she was going to hold him to it. Maybe he had changed as a person, but he could still help her defeat Eriol. That was all that mattered. That was the point of the trip, right? "I’ll just wait... I’m sure he’ll talk, sometime... If I’m persistent enough?"

Meilin shook her head, starting to walk down the sidewalk. Sakura followed suit. "Syaoran isn’t who you remember. You’ve waited a little too long."

Sakura looked at a group of loud, obnoxious boys from the soccer team. They were heading to a car. "Where are they going?"

"One of their soccer team parties. They’re psychotic. You won’t want to go."

Sakura looked grimly at the ground. "I guess I’ll just wait at his house."

Meilin tried to get past her differences. At least Sakura’s intentions were admirable. But she had caused all of this. Why should Meilin sympathize in the least? She sighed, not able to sort through her emotions. "That’d be your best bet."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura sat on the edge of the bed, looking down the hall. It was so late. His sisters had all gone to bed. And yet, he wasn’t home yet. She dangled her legs off the edge, kicking them in irritation. How was she supposed to get things done with him being so immature? She glanced at the clock. It was past midnight. Maybe he wasn’t going to come home that night. Maybe he was going to stay with that girl. Sakura felt a fiery jealous rage come up. She couldn’t stand the thought. That wasn’t Syaroan. Meilin was right. It wasn’t the same person she remembered.

Sakura sighed with defeat and turned off the lamp at her bedside. She would just have to talk to him in the morning. Sakura got to her feet and walked through the dark to the door. She peered her head into the hallway, hoping to hear the front door. There was no such noise. She shut the door quietly, reluctantly letting it click shut. The room seemed so quiet. She walked to her suitcase, fishing out something to sleep in. She retreived a tank top and shorts and changed quickly. She walked to the door one last time, listening for any movement. There was none. She walked back and folded her clothes from the day and put them neatly into the suitcase, then sat on the bed. She couldn’t sleep like this, no way. She fiddled with her phone, setting the built-in alarm clock for early that morning. Syaoran liked to wake up early. She would be sure to beat him. She got under the covers, staring at the ceiling hopelessly. She wasn’t going to fall asleep any time soon.

But the day’s travelling and stress caused her to fall into a deep sleep almost immediately. Her head sunk into the soft pillow and the blankets warmed her into dreams. She lost all track of time and location and felt like she was back home again.

_____________________________________________________

Syaoran fumbled with the key to his house. He hadn’t meant to drink again. But Mandu wasn’t enough to keep his emotions at bay. He had seen her, with his own two eyes. She was there in Hong Kong. And Syaoran had the worst feeling that if he looked in their guest room, he’d find her sleeping. He cursed at himself as he tripped over the step into the house, then shut the door quietly behind him. He stood in the dark doorway. Everyone in the house was asleep. He cringed as he felt her aura, floating overhead. She had no right to invade his life like this.

Syaoran stormed up the stairs, looking down the hall for a moment before going into his room. He sat on the edge of his bed, leaning on his knees. The elders had given him a mission. At least he wouldn’t have to deal with training the next day. They wouldn’t know he was dealing with a hang over if he was off fighting something. It seemed like an easy enough task. And it would get him away from her. Maybe she would leave in the morning. He looked to his doorway, almost willing her to show her face. If she was dumb enough to show up, she should at least explain herself. ‘I wanted to talk to you’. Why not use a phone? Syaoran felt his anger surge up. She didn’t actually think he still cared now, after all this time. After her rejection, then his two years of isolation. She had really outdone herself on the stupidity scale this time.

Syaoran got to his feet, fed up with wondering. He walked down the dark hallway, barely making a noise as he stepped on the soft carpet. He stood at the shut door. He reached out for the door knob hesitantly. With a determined breath he opened it, looking in. And there she was, sprawled out on the bed in front of him. Her eyes were shut peacefully. He loathed her. She was lying there so innocent, so happy. He longed to take it away from her. Steal back what she took from him. Why should she go unpunished for the destruction of his life? Maybe things would get better if he had some kind of vengeance. She laid so still, moonlight making shadows across her face. Syaoran willed her to wake up.

Sakura stirred, then opened her eyes. Now why had she woken up? Sakura looked at the window, squinting at the bits of moonlight coming in. Something immediately grabbed her attention. She sat up suddenly. She stared wide eyed at the figure in the doorway. She could make out a faint sillhouette leaning against the wall. "What are you doing!?" She whispered loudly, pulling the blanket up around her low cut shirt.

Syaoran revelled in the way he was making her so uncomfortable. He straightened. "I can’t believe you had the nerve to stay in my fucking house."

Sakura watched him, paranoid. This wasn’t who she remembered at all. She felt so vulnerable, half asleep in her pajamas. She gripped her blanket, hoping he would remain only in the doorway. "Syaoran, I-"

"I’m just Li to you, Kinomoto," Syaoran spat, hating her for using his name like that.

Sakura blinked, taken aback. She glanced at the clock next to her. It was past two in the morning. She looked back to him. "I needed to talk to you," she reiterated.

Syaoran scoffed, then turned, slamming the door behind him. He continued walking quickly to his room. He shut his door behind him, walking straight to his bed. He let silent fury take him into a dark night of sleep, tossing his blankets around in unhappiness.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura opened her eyes to the ringing of her alarm clock. She sat up and turned it off quickly. She collapsed back onto her pillow, feeling incredibly tired. She looked back to the clock. It was five thirty. She looked back up at the ceiling. There was no way he could wake up that early. He would have only gotten three hours of sleep. She rolled over to watch the clock tick away, resetting her alarm for an hour later.

She pondered the night’s events. She had never seen someone be so careless of another’s feelings like that. How dare he, just barge into her room and watch her while she slept! She would have to make sure she locked the door every night. She looked warily to the window, where an early glow leaked around the curtains. Maybe she would board the window. But, it wasn’t her house. It was his. She supposed there was some justification behind his actions. But still... there was no reason to act so cruel. And say such mean things! It didn’t make any sense.

She wondered what he had done so late. He seemed in such a rotten mood. Not call him Syaoran? He wants to go backwards in our relationship I guess. Syaoran is just too personal. Well fine, it’s not like I’ve known him a really long time or anything. Why not call him Li, like I did in grade school. Like I did when hated me. Sakura sat wondering for a while, staring at the different dots in the ceiling above her. She couldn’t get back to sleep. Not with all the excitement of the house. She wished she could just go back to Japan. But she wouldn’t be able to forget what she had seen here. Syaoran was replaced by someone else. She pondered such a thought. She couldn’t make sense of it in her mind. Eriol couldn’t replace Syaoran. He had seemed fine when she left. She knew she had hurt him, but this much? Syaoran hadn’t needed her friendship that much.

Around six, Sakura started to hear noise. She heard water run for about a half hour. She guessed he was taking a shower. After that the upstairs was silent. She turned off her alarm clock and stood up, shivering as she got out of the covers. She searched in her suitcase for a good outfit. It didn’t look like she would be impressing him any time soon. Might as well stick to shorts and a T-shirt. She put the things on, then forced herself out into the hallway. It was all dark. The doors to his sisters’ rooms were shut. Sakura felt her step quicken as she saw his door open. As she got closer, she found the light was off. There was no one in it. She continued to the stairs, noticing a single light on in the kitchen. She looked hopefully over the railing as she went down the stairs. Syaoran sat, bent over a bowl of something, not recognizing her enterance. Sakura stopped at the foot of the stairs, waiting for him to look up. He was way too good at ignoring her.

Sakura reluctantly walked over to the counter, sitting across from him. She had the chance to take a good look at him. His wet hair clung to his forehead, shading his eyes from her. He looked terribly tired. Something about the way he acted made her suspicious. "You were drunk last night, weren’t you?" Sakura hated how her voice seemed to hang in the air for hours. Syaoran glanced at her, expressionless. At least he wasn’t scowling.

"No," he answered simply, going back to his food. Sakura watched him, unconvinced. "You wouldn’t be talking to me now if I had been drunk last night."

Sakura glared, biting her lip nervously. Was he threatening her? She refused to let him scare her. No matter what he said, he was still the person she had loved two years ago. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Syaoran remained silent, crunching on his cereal. They sat for a long while in silence. Sakura pondered walking over and hugging him. Maybe he was just being difficult and he needed some reinforcement. But he interrupted her thoughts. "You should go home," He mumbled quietly, standing up and bringing his bowl to the sink.

Sakura frowned. "I can’t. My plane doesn’t leave for a week. Besides, I’ve got to do what I came here to do before I’ll go."

Syaoran rolled his eyes with his back to her as washed his bowl in the sink. He turned back to her, glaring. "Reschedule your flight."

Sakura let out a long breath. "No. I’m leaving in a week."

Syaoran turned back to her and continued around the counter. "I hope you have a good time with my sisters."

Sakura got to her feet, turning to watch him head towards the door. "Matte! Where are you going?"

Syaoran slowed to an irritated stop. He turned to her. "I have things to do for the Elders today."

Sakura looked at the floor, frowning. "So you want me to just sit in your house all day and wait for you to get home?"

Syaoran sighed. He was quiet for a minute. "Can you drive?"

Sakura frowned at him. "Of course I-"

"Can you drive a stick shift?"

Sakura bit her lip warily. She wasn’t too great at manuals yet. "Um... sort of, yeah-"

"Come on," He said shortly, heading to the door that connected the house and garage. He grabbed a set of keys off the hook, then stopped beside a car door. Sakura jogged up, rushing behind him. She stood, looking at him hopefully. He refused to let her get into him. He held out the keys, dropping them in her hands. "Go shopping or something. Meilin’s number is on the fridge, if you want her help."

Sakura frowned, then looked at the very expensive two door Mitsubishi Syaoran had stopped in front of. She shook her head. "Syao- I came here to talk to you, not go shopping!"

Syaoran glared steadily at her. "Maybe you should have called to see if I wanted to talk before you wasted two plane tickets."

Sakura looked to her side, not wanting to give him any satisfaction in knowing he had hurt her feelings. "What if I wreck or something?"

Syaoran was already heading to his bike. "Don’t wreck."

Sakura glowered. "I’m not going to drive this out-"

"Have fun at home, then." Syaoran grabbed his helmet, wheeling the motorcycle out onto the driveway. He pretended not to see the incredous look Sakura gave him.

Sakura glared as she watched him put his helmet on. "Wait! This isn’t one of your sister’s, is it....Whose car is this?"

"Mine," Syaoran answered, putting his helmet on and starting the bike. He didn’t wait for anything more, only sped onto the road, not even checking for traffic. Sakura glared after him. He was so oblivious to her.

Sakura stomped her foot in frustration. She never would have imagined him being so distant. She looked back to the sleek black car beside her. Syaoran must have been making lots of money to afford something like this. Sakura sighed, eyeing the keys in her hand. Meilin’s number is on the fridge... maybe she can help me out...Sakura turned back to the door behind her, entering the house. A sleepy pair of eyes looked at her from across the kitchen. She smiled.

"Syaoran already leaving you again?"

Sakura sighed and nodded. His family was so irritating. "He wants me to take his car and go shopping," She answered glumly.

The girl nodded, then smiled sympathetically. "Don’t blame him. The Elders can turn anyone into a grouch. Especially at seven in the morning."

Sakura nodded weakly, not convinced. She walked towards the fridge. "He said Meilin’s number was here..."

His sister walked over and grabbed a piece of paper, then handed it to her. "We have it memorized, keep it."

Sakura simled gratefully, then took the paper and headed towards the stairs. "Thanks." Sakura jogged up the stairs and down the hall to her room, then settled onto the edge of her bed. Meilin had been much easier to talk to the previous afternoon. Maybe she would have some good advice. If anyone knew what Syaoran was up to, Meilin would. Sakura dialed the number into her phone and called.

It rang several times and Sakura was about to hang up, but a tired voice finally answered. "Moshi moshi?"
"Meilin-chan, is that you?"

"Oh... Hi. You call all of your friends at seven in the morning?"

Sakura looked at the clock, realizing her mistake. "Oh... I’m sorry... I forgot, I was waking up to see Syaoran before he went wherever he went and..."

"No... it’s okay." Sakura heard Meilin yawn, then come back to the phone. "Has he acknowledged your existence yet?"

Sakura laughed in spite of herself. "He told me to go shopping or something. He gave me the keys to his car and your number and then just left."

Meilin made a laughing noise on the other end, then let out a long breath. "Well, I’m surprised he’s being so civil. Though... that was always it with you. He was completely different."

Sakura bit her lip, not so sure. "Well... I was just wondering if you would want to go somewhere..."

"Shopping?"

"I dunno... wherever you want to go. A place that can waste my time away until he gets home again."

"Hmm..." Meilin was quiet for a second. "I suppose we could go shopping. I haven’t done that in a while... Do you think you could pick me up?"

Sakura looked out the window. "Well... where do you live?"

"Straight down the road. Go out of his driveway and go left. I’ll stand outside or something."

"Okay... when do you want to go?"

"Just give me ten minutes to change and I’ll be ready to go."

"Alright. I’ll see you then."

"Bye."

Sakura hung up the phone and smiled to herself. At least someone in Hong Kong was being civil. She laid back on the bed, closing her eyes for a moment. Syaoran was so different. She was starting to doubt a week was long enough to convince him to help her. But he promised. Any time, he said. She thought back to the night before. She had really been frightened, to wake up finding him watching her like that. It was as if it was a completely different person. Someone who wanted to hurt her, not protect her. She couldn’t shake the feeling off. Sakura glanced at the clock, waiting the minutes away.

Finally ten minutes had passed, and Sakura headed nervously downstairs. Whatever sister had been up and in the kitchen was gone now. She found herself alone. Which was completely okay. She didn’t want anyone to see her backing out of the garage in the car... Her hands began to sweat thinking about it. She should have said she couldn’t drive stick shifts. She was too much of a beginner to drive down the roads by his house, let alone downtown Hong Kong. But she felt like she had to prove something.

So Sakura walked with purpose into the garage. She shut the door tightly behind her, then eyed the car. It was perfect. If she would drive through a puddle, it would be noticeable. She clenched her teeth together and walked to the driver’s side, opening the door. She slid into the leather seat, finding herself too far from the steering wheel. She adjusted the seat, then sat for a moment. The car was impeccably clean. Leave it to Syaoran. Everything in it seemed dark and hostile. She turned to look at the garage door through the back window. It would have to open.

Sakura looked in front of her and found a button attached to the visor over her side. She pressed it. The garage door opened. She found herself looking out into the early morning landscape of Syaoran’s house. She turned back, deciding to start the car. She put the key in, pushed the clutch to the floor, and turned the key. It started, no problem. Suddenly her ears were blasted with some death metal band. She jumped in her seat, then searched frantically for the stereo controls. She found the volume button and turned it way down. The CD continued to play in the background. Sakura let out a shakey breath, then faced the task at hand. She sat, terrified of backing out of the small space the garage door provided. At least it was a straight away. If she didn’t move the steering wheel, she would, theoretically, be perfectly okay.

She moved the stick shift out of neutral and brought it to reverse. She moved it three more times to be sure she was in the right gear and wasn’t going to careen into the wall in front of her. After she was without a doubt certain, she turned to look out the door. She slowly let off the brake. The car started rolling backwards. She smiled. That was nice. She wouldn’t even bother trying to use any gas.

The car stopped rolling halfway out. She sighed and slowly pushed in the gas and let off the clutch. The car jerked for a second, about to stall, then glided smoothly onto the road. Sakura got in her lane, then put it in first. It stalled out. Sakura quickly restarted the car, making sure no one was behind her, then took off quickly. She shivered with anxiety. She shouldn’t have committed to it. She could picture herself stalling out in a major intersection, getting sideswiped by a semitruck. Sakura’s dream was interrupted, as she spotted Meilin walking out of her house, pulling her hair into a long pony tail as she walked. Sakura carefully downshifted and parked in the driveway. That part wasn’t bad. She bit her lip as she realized she would have to back out again.

Meilin opened the passenger door and got in, then smiled. "This car doesn’t fit you, Kinomoto-san."

Sakura grinned as she backed out, not even recognizing Meilin’s words. She was too focussed on keeping from stalling out. She made a smooth departure and was soon cruising down the road at a comfortable speed. She finally realized what Meilin said. "I know, it’s terrible."

Meilin noticed the music playing in the background. "Good choice of music, though."

Sakura smiled weakly, deciding to keep it as a compliment. She drove straight for a while, then spoke. "Where am I going?"

"You’ll come to some stoplights up here. You turn left on that highway, then follow the signs for the exit to downtown."

"Okay," Sakura agreed casually. Better to hide her nervousness so Meilin wouldn’t be nervous too.

Meilin looked out the tinted windows, then rolled hers down. She leaned her arm out the car, seemingly comfortable. "So what are you doing in Hong Kong, Sakura?"

Sakura glanced from the steering wheel for a moment, then looked down the road at the impending intersection. "I needed to talk to him," Sakura responded, not sure how much she should tell Meilin.

"Well, you can talk to someone over the phone... This seems to be that important..."

Sakura rolled down her window, enjoying the breeze. "Well.... some of it’s about the cards. I have a really big favor to ask him."

Meilin clapped her hands on her knees, scowling. Sakura tried not to panic, through she did swerve out of her lane for a second. "Honestly, Sakura! I thought you might have had good intentions this time, but you just came here for more help?"

Sakura smiled sheepishly. She turned left onto the highway, accelarating slowly. "It was something he promised just before you left Japan. I’m taking him up on it."

Meilin sighed, leaning against the door. "Wonderful. Syaoran might as well given you a gun and say ‘shoot’."

Sakura frowned, not liking the visualization. Did they know what she thought? That he wasn’t safe knowing how Sakura felt? "Why would you say that?"

Meilin rolled her eyes. "You are so dense! Don’t you have any idea what you did to him? I don’t know how he hasn’t yelled you out of Hong Kong yet."

Sakura felt a wave of relief. Meilin was simply referring to her rejection of his feelings. They weren’t aware of her constant dreams. "I.... I know... Meilin. I know he must- Is it this exit?"

Meilin nodded, looking perturbed. Sakura turned onto the exit, feeling nervous. She stopped talking for a second to turn onto the road. Traffic caused her to come to a sudden stop. Sakura barely managed. She balanced the clutch and the gas so she wouldn’t roll backwards into the car behind her. She couldn’t talk and deal with the stress of driving at the same time.

"You want to get into the left lane," Meilin said, pointing. Sakura glanced over. There were cars everywhere. How was she supposed to fit in? She put her turn signal on, hoping someone would let her in. The traffic passed, giving her a small window to move over. Only by the good handling of the car did she manage to fit into the space. She took off slowly once more, making sure she didn’t stall the car out. She had to stop again, as the light ahead of them was still red. The light turned just as she came to a stop. Sakura shifted up again. She killed the engine, not giving enough gas. Sakura hastily restarted the car, gunning it on the turn. She barely missed hitting another car in the process. Sakura let out a long breath as she was driving down another straight away.

Meilin was silent for a moment. "Do... Do you want me to drive?"

Sakura looked with hopeful eyes at Meilin. "Would you!?"
Meilin gave a weak smile and nodded. "Pull over in that parking lot."

Sakura nodded. She pulled into the parking lot and parked. As the car settled into its stop, Sakura let out a long breath. She looked at Meilin. "I tried to tell him I was horrible with manual transmissions."

Meilin smiled, shaking her head, then got out of her seat. Sakura did the same, gladly switching places. She sat in the passenger’s seat, putting on her seat belt, then watched in awe as Meilin easily handled the car.

"Syaoran helped me buy my car with all the money he got from the elders. He refused to help pay unless I bought a manual. He thinks they’re the best things in the world."

Sakura shook her head in shame. "I’m a horrible driver."

Meilin smiled but said nothing. She merged back into the traffic and headed to their set destination. Sakura looked out the window quietly for a while, so glad the stress of driving was gone. She watched cars do crazy and illegal moves to get where they wanted to go. She sat graciously in the passenger’s seat.

"So anyways, Kinomoto...Have you told him why you’re here?"

"No... I mean, I tried, but he had to go."

Meilin shook her head. "I’m surprised he even talked to you this morning. Last night he was pretty... I don’t know. He was like he’s been the past few years only... magnified."

Sakura cringed as she remembered the previous night. "Well... he didn’t exactly say happy things. Last night... I guess it was more like this morning... It was two in the morning, anyways. But I woke up, and he was just standing there in the doorway, watching me. It kind of freaked me out."

Meilin chewed on the inside of her lip, wondering what had been going through her cousin’s mind. "Did he say anything?"

"Um... just that he couldn’t believe I had the nerve to stay at his house."

"And.... you said....?"

"Um... I said I needed to talk to him. He told me not to call him Syaoran, too."

Meilin nodded. "That sounds like him...." She continued driving, making a tricky turn onto a one way street. "But let me get this all straight. You flew all the way here just to ask for his help with your cards? Do you want him to move back to Japan or what?"

"No, no I just... I want to finish them once and for all. I want to go to England and end it with Eriol."

"But I thought you tried that."

"Yeah, we did... but we didn’t have Chindra’s help. I think we need all three of us to win."

"Ah..." Meilin held her eyes steadily on the road. Sakura envied how calm she was. Sakura looked back out the window. She turned unexpectantly into a parking space along the road, stopping the car. Sakura frowned, looking around. She didn’t see any stores. She looked to Meilin, who was watching her intently. "Kinomoto, I’m not going to sit back and watch you do this to him all over again."

Sakura frowned, not sure what to say. She wished Meilin would get back on the raod and drive because this was very awkward. She shook her head. "I’m not trying to use him, Meilin-"

"Listen, I don’t think you realize the extent of what you did in Japan. He never told me what happened, but I can guess easy enough. If you don’t feel for him, don’t keep leading him on like this. I think if you did this again, he’d kill himself. And I’m not exaggerating. I really think that’d be the end."

Sakura studied the mat on the floor beneath her feet. "I’m not going to do that to him."

"Okay... I know you don’t mean to do it intentionally. You’ve got to be the most oblivious, dense person I’ve ever met. But that’s still no excuse. I won’t stand for it. I don’t think Syaoran would fall for the same trick again, but he’s always had such a weakness for you. I’m having a hard enough time forgiving you for what happened last time. I mean... maybe you should seriously think about going home..."

Sakura felt like the car was getting smaller. She picked at a nail. "I...I’m not going to go home. It’s different this time, I was... an idiot then."

Meilin frowned, unsure. "Tell me this, then. Do you feel anything for him?"

Sakura found herself suddenly interested in the pedestrians crossing the street. She didn’t want to talk to Meilin about this. Syaoran should be the first one to know if she wanted to talk about her feelings. She sighed and looked at her feet. "I’d rather discuss those things with him first..."

Meilin let out a dissatisfied sigh. "Well.... Okay. Can you promise me you’re not leading him into a trap this time? Can you promise, beyond the smallest shadow of a doubt, you won’t hurt him the same way you did that day in Japan?"

Sakura looked up, hopeful. "I promise, Meilin. That’s the last thing I want to do."

Meilin looked out her window, as if sorting through things. She smiled and nodded slowly. "Okay... Then this could be the best news I’ve heard in two years."

Sakura smiled weakly. "But it’s not like... It’s not like anything will happen. I’m starting to doubt he’ll even help me with the cards, let alone let me talk about dead, touchy topics."

Meilin shook her head, taking the car out of neutral and getting back onto the road. "No, Sakura. You can’t give up on him. Everyone else has. I’ve even started to. I thought you didn’t care that he was killing himself slowly like he is..."

Sakura let out a long sigh. "What is he doing, really? When he left, he was so... mature about everything. Now I feel like I’m back in fourth grade, trying to keep the cards from him."

Meilin pulled into a huge parking lot lining a mall. "I don’t know how he did it. I mean... It was some love you turned away. Any other time in Syaoran’s life, if he got hurt by someone, he would have wanted revenge the next possible moment. But you, he was just so sweet. It drives me crazy. I hated watching him slowly disappear. He tried for a while, he really did. It was like he was trying to keep standing on a sinking ship or something. Finally he just completely gave in. I used to see glimpses of the old him but now... it’s completely gone."

They parked the car, then got out. Meilin locked the doors, then headed towards the mall, Sakura at her side. Sakura smiled weakly. "I have to confess, I’m not really going to shop. I didn’t bring any money for this... plane tickets are quite expensive."

Meilin shook her head, waving it away. "Being around Syaoran, money’s not an issue. He gives me extra money he doesn’t want all the time. I think he’s trying to find ways to feel better about himself as a human being. But I end up with all this money, nothing to spend it on except ridiculously expensive clothes from the mall."

Sakura smiled. "Well... that’s neat."

Meilin nodded. She watched Sakura from the corner of her eye. Sakura had definitely grown up. She began to feel excitement creeping in. Maybe Syaoran could be saved after all. It would be tough, but she’d put in all the help she could give. "Did Syaoran say anything about going to a party tomorrow night?"

Sakura shook her head. "No. We didn’t really talk about .... much of anything."

"Well... you’ll have to go with me. We can surprise him. Catch him off guard. He has to be there, it’s like... a dinner party sort of thing. All proper. But Syaoran has to be there for security issues. And the Elders actually pay him tons of money to just sit around and keep an eye on things."

Sakura smiled nervously. "Are you sure that’s a good idea, I mean... I don’t want to get in the way..."

Meilin stopped midstep to make a vitally clear point. "Sakura, don’t chicken out on me now. If you want to help Syaoran out, you’re going to have to be a lot tougher than that. I want to see some determination."

Sakura smiled weakly. "Oh... okay. Um... I didn’t bring anything to wear to something like that, I mean... I have that skirt I wore yesterday..."

Meilin rolled her eyes as she began walking towards the mall once more. "Duh... we’re going to buy a dress for you here."

"Oh. Right."

_______________________________________________________________________

Syaoran yawned as he set his helmet down on his bike. The mission had taken way too long and had been way too close. The men he had been assigned to watch for theft had found him out and it had ended in a shoot out. Syaoran had never fired his gun at so many live people before in his life. He didn’t care how much money he was making. He didn’t care for spending late nights firing rifles at people he didn’t know.

The thing that bothered him the most was that several of the men had gotten away. He knew they’d want revenge on the Elders and their little mission boys. That meant the dinner party he had to be at the next day wouldn’t be so fun. He also had a bad feeling one of them had been trying to follow him home. He wasn’t going to bring them home to his sisters. He had spent an hour extra, doubling back and leaving an untraceable path, but he still couldn’t be too sure. Syaoran had almost forgot Sakura was visiting due to the day’s events, but seeing his black car sitting a little crooked in its space reminded him.

Syaoran cursed under his breath at his luck. Why did she have to show up now? He hoped he was home too late for her to be up. But it would be like her to sit up waiting for him. So confusing. Not in love with him, but the most understanding and caring. She had to go away before he let her confuse him again. Syaoran opened the door as quietly as possible, glad to find all the lights off. He shut it behind him and softly walked up the stairs. There were no lights down the long hallway. He looked at the end room. The door was shut. She probably locked it. Syaoran smiled to himself. He still held the upperhand.

Syaoran walked into his room, leaving the door open behind him. He wasn’t tired. He felt strange, coming home sober. He hadn’t done anything unusual the entire day. Except shoot at some people.... He pulled the pistol the Elder’s had lent him from his pants and tossed it carelessly on his bed. Syaoran walked over to his computer, turning it on. It loaded slowly. He sighed with impatience. He sat staring at the desktop, not sure what the goal of turning it on was. He opened a music burning program and decided to make a CD. He pulled out the drawer under the desk and retreived a blank CD, then set up the song list. Something clattering downstairs caught his attention. It was the front door. He frowned and got up stealthily. He turned off his light before it was noticeable, then peered out his doorway.

It wasn’t like the theives he had been chasing to be so obvious. Unless it was some kind of elaborate trap. He doubted they were that smart. No... this was strange. He reached to his bed, grabbing the pistol. He snuck into the hall, looking towards the stairs.

"Who is it?" Sakura’s voice whispered from behind. Syaoran jumped, shaking for a moment.

"God, I could have shot you, you know." Syaoran grouched, keeping his voice down.

Sakura frowned, then looked at the gun he held in his pocket. Her eyes widened for a moment, then she looked like she was trying to accept it casually. "Sorry. You’re such an expert at being stealthy, I thought for sure you saw me."

Syaoran glared for a second, then returned his attention to the noise downstairs. He dared a few steps towards the railing, peering over.

"Who is it?" Sakura repeated, walking carelessly next to him.

"Quit- go back to your room or something..." Syaoran said, trying to keep her out of danger’s way. He looked over the railing at the kitchen. There was nothing there. He glanced behind him to see if Sakura had gone. She was just standing, watching him. He let out a short aggrivated breath. "I think it’s something to do with my mission earlier today," Syaoran explained.

"Oh...." Sakura inspected the pistol he held loosely in his right hand.

Syaoran motioned for her to go away once more, then carefully began going down the stairs. Sakura smiled inwardly as she watched him. He looked like James Bond. She looked over the railing, positive no one dangerous would come so loudly into his house. She had been asleep and it had been enough to wake her up. No way would a killer announce his enterance like that.

Syaoran could see movement down the hall behind the stairs. He lept over the railing in a clean jump, landing on his feet and pointing the gun in the direction of the shadow. A familiar girl turned around. She smiled as she saw Syaoran. "Hi!" Mandu said loudly, seemingly ignorant of the gun being pointed at her face.

Syaoran let out a long breath, dropping the gun to his side. "I could have killed you." He realized how strange it was that she had just wandered into his house without knocking at a quarter past midnight. "What are you doing here?"

Mandu stepped up to him, eyes locked on his. She leaned heavily against his chest. "I heard your bike go by earlier. I just thought we could... you know..."

Syaoran glared at her as he smelled her breath reeking of alcohol. "You’re fucking drunk."

Mandu wrinkled her nose at the thought, then laughed loudly. "No I’m not! Come on Syaoran, let’s do it!"

Syaoran cursed at his luck once more. He grabbed her arm, pulling her roughly towards the door. "Go home," He muttered. He could visualize Sakura watching from upstairs. He hated it. Why should he let her make him feel ashamed? He had agreed with himself it was all her fault in the first place.

Mandu pulled her arm away from him, emotions rising up. "Why! Syaoran, don’t you want me?"

Syaoran muttered unpleasant things under his breath, then opened the front door. "Leave."

Her eyes welled up in a matter of seconds. "Why? I thought you-" Her hysterical voice faded as her eyes traced up the stairs. "Her! You’re cheating on me? Syaoran, how could you! With that hentai!"

Syaoran cringed. Of all the times...He shoved Mandu outside, scowling at her. "You’re the whore Mandu. Go to Yundi’s house, I’m sure he won’t turn you away." Syaoran shut the door, letting out a long breath as he leaned against it. He didn’t want to turn around. She would just be looking at him with all that silence behind her. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t want her to see him like that. But there was nothing he could do about it. Syaoran turned and walked up the stairs, not looking in her direction.

"Do the Elders make you kill?" Sakura asked boldly, watching him walk to his room with the gun in his hand.

Syaoran stopped, glancing at her. He didn’t want to look ashamed. That would be handing the power over to her. But her bright green eyes looking back at him... she was better than him. "No, they have me go into the woods and collect herbs," he answered dryly.

Sakura glanced towards the door, then at him. Syaoran looked back at her for the first time, his amber eyes pressing her with intimidation. It was all just a front. Sakura felt pity creep in. Syaoran was still there, behind the years of constructed walls. She smiled weakly. "Can I talk to you yet?"

Syaoran looked down at his feet, mentally scolding himself for looking at her. He was making his first mistake. He could feel her starting to sneak in, so quiet and undetectable. He couldn’t let it happen. "No," he answered, turning and disappearing into his room.

Sakura let out a long breath. "Goodnight, Syaoran," She said, not caring if he heard her or not. She headed back to her room. She could feel herself start to to fall as she shut the door and locked it. She should have guessed as much. Meilin wasn’t kidding when she said he went downhill. So he had a girlfriend. She felt jealous vibes begin to take hold of her. She tried to ignore it. He doesn’t even care about her. He was just using her... But what he was using her for made Sakura grimace. She got back under her blankets, feeling tears start to creep in. I did this to him. I should blame myself.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Does he ride anymore?" Sakura asked. She pulled on the reins of the horse she was riding, insisting it slow down. It obeyed.

Meilin had invited Sakura to go trail riding, since Syaoran was too busy training to pay attention to her. Sakura had gladly agreed, being bored making small talk with his sisters.

"Well... for training he does. I think he sneaks out every now and then at night... but he doesn’t want anyone to know."

Sakura nodded. They walked into the forest. The temperature dropped considerably, being free of the sun. She looked around at the pretty forest. A question pressed her. "Does he take his girlfriend riding ever?"

Meilin glanced at Sakura. She was looking the other direction, pretending not to care. "Oh... Chang-san? Did you meet her?"

Sakura shrugged. "She broke into his house, completely drunk last night."

Meilin bit her lower lip. This wasn’t good. Sakura couldn’t lose sight of what she was doing. "Ah... well... she’s not his girlfriend. Syaoran wouldn’t commit to a girl here like that..." She cast a furtive glance to Sakura. She didn’t seem to respond. "So, of course he wouldn’t take her out. He isn’t like... romantic with anyone. The only reason he’s ever around her is just.... I don’t know... I think he’s looking for an escape other than alcohol... But you’re the only girl he ever took riding with him. It used to make me so jealous."

Sakura thought back to riding Moondust around with him, wind blowing through her hair, clinging to him for dear life. She almost smiled, except she wast stuck wondering about Syaoran and his virginity. It was something she hadn’t thought about. And it was remarkable what a big thing it was to overlook. She looked over to the pasture they passed. Raion trotted up to the fenceline to watch them go by.

"Hi, Raion!" Sakura called, smiling at the big black horse.

Meilin frowned. "Did Syaoran show you him last time you were here?"

Sakura smiled. "Yeah. We rode him. He’s so huge, it was a blast."

Meilin’s eyes widened. "You... You rode him?"

Sakura nodded slowly.

"You’ve got to be kidding me... Ugh... Syaoran just kills me sometimes. You’re one of like... four people ever to ride him. He was his father’s horse, then Yelin came by to see him after his dad died... then Syaoran... You have no idea how special you are."

Sakura smiled sadly, then looked back ahead of her. "I really don’t like that girl."

Meilin laughed. At least Sakura was able to be jealous of him. That was a good sign. "Neither does Syaoran. He hates her. That’s why he can use her so easily."

Sakura tried to accept it, but she was having a hard time. She decided to switch to other topics. "So what time do we go to that party thing?"

Meilin smiled. That was the big chance. The dress she had convinced Sakura to buy was simply gorgeous. Syaoran wasn’t going to be able to overlook her. She just had to make sure he spent alot of time around her. It would take some work, but it was worth it. "Seven."

"Okay..." Sakura agreed.

"Come to my house around six with your dress and I’ll help you get ready."

Sakura frowned. "Ready... It’s not like I’m going to a huge ball or anything... Right?" Sakura glanced at Meilin with worry. Maybe going to this dinner party wasn’t such a good idea.

"No, it’s not like that... It’s just... we don’t have anything else to do. Might as well do our hair and stuff, right?"

Sakura smiled weakly. Meilin was sounding like Tomoyo. "I guess..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura was getting so aggrivated with Syaoran’s schedule. She got home just in time to catch a glimpse of Syaoran getting off his bike. She had had a hard time not staring as he set his helmet down, his hair a sweaty matted mass going every different direction. She had remembered herself just in time, and hurried into the house. Syaoran had said nothing to her as he ran upstairs. The next thing she knew he was in the shower, blocked out from her. She sighed. She had been hoping to take a shower after the long horse ride. Sakura bided her time in her room. She called Meilin to find out if she could take a shower over there instead. It was okay. Sakura was glad. It was always kind of awkward taking showers here.

Sakura smiled to herself as she remembered taking a shower while Syaoran sat by the door, pretending not to be there. It had been so embarassing. And now, as she looked back, she would give everything to go back there. Everything had been so simple. At least... as simple as anything had been in a card capturing life. Sakura decided to call Tomoyo while she waited.

Tomoyo was glad to hear from her. She and Chindra informed there hadn’t been any disturbances so far with the cards. Sakura avoided the subject of feelings and confessions. They seemed to accept it for the time being. She smiled and hung up the phone. She heard the bathroom door open. Sakura ran out of the room, finding Syaoran jogging down the stairs. He was tying a tie around his neck as he went. From the short glimpse she got of him, it looked like he was wearing a suit. But he had soon disappeared down the stairs. She sighed, standing in the doorway. At least she was garunteed to see him that night at the party. If she could just get him to listen for one minute, she was sure things would change.

- - - -

Syaoran yawned as he leaned against the table beside him. Sensei Wanti had just been by breifing him in on what to look for. Now he was watching with boredom as the usual business men came in leisurely. Tables were set up throughout the large meeting hall. They had gone so far as to have a live jazz band playing. It must be some deal the Elders were making to go this hardcore. Syaoran looked towards the open balcony. It looked so inviting. It was so quiet in the dark of the night. Away from all the people he didn’t care about.

Syaoran eyed some suspicious men walking in, then relaxed as he saw one of the Elders shake hands heartily with him. He sighed and walked to the balcony. If anyone asked later, he would just argue he thought he saw movement outside. The summer air felt good on his face. He leaned against the railing, looking out into the night. Cars pulled up, everyone getting out and going through the motions with each other. It was disgusting. They were all so fake.

Like I’m not. Syaoran turned back to the room, reminding himself he wasn’t there for his own enjoyment. He watched the different people coming in. His eyes locked onto one girl. He bit his teeth together. Meilin walked in, Sakura laughing at her side. It just figured. He should have known Meilin would try something like that. Trying to help him ‘fix’. Syaoran sighed, trying not to look at her.

But he couldn’t help it. She looked gorgeous. She was wearing a simple sleeveless black dress, except it fit her perfectly. She had developed a nice figure over the years and she seemed totally clueless that the dress was made to show it off. But that was Sakura. Innocent yet spoiling everyone around her. He guessed Meilin had bought her the dress when they had been shopping. He looked back to the room, trying to search for a place to hide. He skirted down the wall, timing it perfectly so that a large man blocked their view of him for the moment he was in the open. He sat down in a chair in the corner, glad for the sanctity of an agent’s life. No one questioned him. He watched them from around the stage beside him. They were walking to a food table. Meilin was looking around the room for him. Sakura seemed to be trying not to look.

Syaoran let out a long breath. He was so terrified of her. He couldn’t let her have that power. He needed to quit scaring himself. He had spent two years building walls against her. She wasn’t going to hurt him again. He would make sure of that. He would hold civil conversations with her and not be scared of the consequences. Syaoran liked this plan. This was a mature, rational plan. He stood up from his chair, nodding at the Elder that walked past him. He walked in no particular direction, making himself look important.

It was a matter of minutes before Meilin had noticed him. She dragged Sakura across the room. Meilin stood before him, Sakura half hidden behind her. Sakura watched the band at her side with interest. Syaoran glared at her for a second before looking at Meilin.

"You never come to these things, Meilin. I thought you weren’t one for the formalities of business people."

Meilin shrugged. "Sakura was bored since you keep leaving her home with your sisters. I took pity on her."

Sakura smiled weakly, looking slightly irritated with Meilin for such an answer. There was an uncomfortable silence. Sakura didn’t have the same determined look she had had the other night. He supposed it must have hurt her just a little bit, to see him with Mandu like that. But then again, she only liked him as a friend. Why would she even care? Yet she seemed different.

He watched her, enjoying her look of misplacement. "You kept asking when I had time to listen to you. Now’s a great time, and you’re just standing there," Syaoran commented.

Sakura looked up from her trance. It was just like him to do something mean like that. She shrugged. "There are people around."

Syaoran frowned at her, then looked back around the room. "Well... If that’s that, I guess I’ll get back to work."

Sakura watched him start to walk off so smoothly. She hated it. "Wait..." She called after him, making sure not to sound desperate. She glanced at Meilin. Meilin gave her an indiscreet two thumbs up. Sakura looked back to Syaoran, who was waiting for her to finish. She motioned towards the balcony, then began walking towards it. Syaoran only followed. She felt his eyes on her back. She stiffened subconsciously. There were only a few people outside. She looked around at the outside landscape for a moment. Syaoran stood leaning against the railing. He seemed completely at ease around her now. She didn’t understand. Was he being fake, or was this the real him? Or was the real him still upset and angry with her, and he was just putting on a civil front?

"I hate to ask you this, Sya-Li-kun." She started. She glanced at him. He looked so much older in a full suit. And yet his rebellious spirit kept him like a child. She tried not to get caught in appearances. He looked off in no particular direction, waiting for her to say what she had to say. "But um... Just before you left... you made a promise to me..."

Syaoran blinked. Revelation had just hit him. Of course. Why hadn’t he figured it out sooner? It had been so obvious. His hopes had raised without his consent. He had almost believed she was there with some kind of compassionate goal. But she just wanted his help with the cards. He hated himself for making that promise. He should have forseen it. But his feelings had blinded him. He had become so stupid the years he was around her. "You’re going to fight Eriol again," Syaoran guessed.

Sakura looked at him, startled. "Y-yeah...How’d you know?" She studied his face. He stared off into the distance, looking completely put off.

He shook his head, then turned to face the room. "I need to get back to work," He said, hurrying off before she could call after him.

Sakura frowned, watching him walk off. She hadn’t said what she had wanted to say. He just assumed he knew what she wanted. She felt her heart fall. She had almost thought he was starting to take in interest in what she wanted. Sakura walked back into the room, finding the noise level deafening. She found Meilin watching her. Meilin smiled hopefully at Sakura. Sakura managed a sad smile, shaking her head slowly. Meilin’s expression fell. She looked over to Syaoran. He was walking purposefully down the wall. Off to do some dutiful service, no doubt. Sakura sighed loudly, wishing some catastrophe would occur at the very moment. They always seemed to bind them together. But no such thing was happening. And here in the real world, she couldn’t even talk to him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura yawned with boredom as she finished her fifth glass of punch. The party had turned dull quickly with Syaoran’s exit. She had no idea where he had wandered off to. She had broken away once from Meilin to go to the bathroom and embarked upon a search. But she never saw him. She looked up as Meilin stood up. Meilin was looking around the room.

"Party’s over, I guess. Syaoran’s leaving, so we will too."

Sakura nodded glumly in agreement. She stood up and walked with Meilin to the door. She looked through the crowd of people for Syaoran. She could see the top of his amber colored head in the front of the people.

"Don’t worry, Kinomoto. You just have to work at it. He’s always been slow. You know that."

Sakura sighed. Meilin wouldn’t understand. It was different this time. She had never hurt him before. Now he was impossible to get to. He was so distant. He was so in control. She hated it. She looked over at Meilin to find the girl running down the side of the sidewalk after Syaoran. Sakura cringed, wondering what she could be up to. Sakura decided to hurry after her. She caught up just in time. Syaoran stood at the door of his black car, his tie untied and draped over his neck. He didn’t blink once towards her.

"...It would just make sense, since she’s going to your house." Meilin finished, glancing at Sakura and then at Syaoran.

Syaoran let out a long sigh, the shrugged. "I don’t care."

Meilin smiled with satisfaction at Sakura. "Ride home with him, ‘kay?"

Sakura scowled at Meilin when Syaoran wasn’t looking, then gave a fake smile. "Alright."

Meilin jogged off, a happy spring in her step. Sakura watched her for a second, then realized Syaoran had already started the car. She quickly ran to the passenger’s side and got in. Syaoran started driving without waiting for her to put her seat belt on.

"I did almost crash, yesterday," Sakura said, glancing at Syaoran. He stared at the road with a blank frown on his face. He made an ‘Mm’ noise in response. Sakura looked out the window. He wasn’t going to make one step of this easy.

"Why didn’t you ride your bike there?" She asked, hoping to force him into speaking.

Syaoran just continued to stare at the road. Sakura let out a quiet breath after a while, hiding her frustration. She would only be helping his ego if she let him know she was mad. She watched the trees go by. Syaoran accelarated quickly after a stop sign as if to show off. She bit her lower lip in anger. He was such a jerk. Just flat out ignoring her.

"It’s hot."

Sakura frowned, looking at him in question. He glanced at her for a second before looking out at the road. "It’s hot," he repeated. "And I didn’t feel like wearing a tux without air conditioning."

"Oh..." Sakura replied. She looked back out the window. The silence was painful. She traced her finger down a seam of the dress. It really was a pretty dress Meilin had picked out. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

Syaoran was quiet for a moment before answering. "I have training. And then soccer practice. I think Rana is in some play that I’m supposed to go see..."

Sakura wished the car ride wouldn’t end. It was the only place he was forced to talk to her at. She looked at the floor mat, wondering when she would get to see him the next day. "Oh..."

"You can go if you want. I’m not sure if you’d want to. That girl will be there, and Yundi, Ryoto, Jin... other kids you don’t know."

Sakura bit her lip. ‘That girl’. She felt jealousy bubbling its way to the service. "She’s quite... something..." Sakura said quietly, looking out the window.

Syaoran glared. He knew she was going to say something. She just couldn’t leave him alone. "Shut up, Kinomoto. It’s not like you haven’t screwed around with guys in Japan. I know you like to feel valuable and are having a good time comparing yourself to her, but I don’t care. Honestly, I don’t give a fuck what you think of me."

Sakura shivered unintentionally. The air conditioning had been on high too long. She bit her lower lip hard, trying to find some kind of response. None came. She remembered him lashing out occasionally when he was mad. It had only gotten worse. "Actually... I haven’t, and I wasn’t," she finally mumbled as they pulled into his garage. Syaoran didn’t make a response. He parked the car perfectly and was out the door before Sakura had unfastened her seat belt. She jumped out and hurried after him. He was to his room by the time she got halfway up the stairs.

Sakura sighed as she stopped by his shut bedroom door. "Goodnight, Syaoran," She said loudly, continuing to her guest room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yes... it’s all so sad. What’s even more sad is that my story’s almost over! I hate writing cause I know every time I do, I’m getting closer to the end. Ahhh! Anyways, please do keep commenting! I love feedback, it makes me so happy! My dear friend the editor is gone on vacation right now so I had to reread this by myself! I don’t know if it’s up to the usual standard! Ahhh!

[email protected] or sns on yahoo and aol: SyaoranChic

Ryohki816 I still can’t figure out how to get around your administrator. I’ve tried other people’s computers and different email accounts of mine but it just won’t work! He’s determined to keep us from communicating! Sorry, I’ll keep trying!

Ja mata ne everyone!