RECAP: Last chapter Sakura went to Hong Kong... Syaoran was just being all nice and fake to her... Meilin is trying to help them out... Mandu broke into Syaoran’s house drunk... Sakura really doesn’t like her...That’s about it.

Chapter 3 - Sakura and the mission to find Syaoran

Sakura opened her eyes, squinting as sunlight hit them. She sat up quickly, looking at the clock. She had slept in way too late. Sakura jumped to her feet, hurrying to her suitcase to find an outfit. She picked out another T-shirt and wore the same shorts from the previous day, then headed out of the room. There was no one in the hallway. She knew there was no chance Syaoran would be home. He was always out by this time. He had probably finished training and was now gone somewhere else. Probably out with that stupid girl.

Sakura stopped by the bathroom to try and fix her hair. It was still wavey from the party the previous night. Meilin had done a number on her hair. She let it straggle down her shoulders, figuring it really didn’t matter how she looked. Syaoran just didn’t care.

Sakura headed down the stairs, completely surprised as she spotted Syaoran sitting at the kitchen counter. He was eating something, a book open in front of him. Sakura refused to let him intimidate her. She headed boldly towards him. He didn’t look up. She sat down next to him, leaving a comfortable gap of space. She looked at the book that was open. It had advanced calculus problems within it. She had no idea how to solve any of them. She looked at Syaoran’s handwriting on the paper within it. He still had ten problems left.

“Homework?”

Syaoran glanced up at her for a second before finishing the problem he was on. He took a drink of his water. “I do go to school...”

Sakura sat back in her chair, annoyed. “Aren’t you supposed to be at training?”

Syaoran continued eating the chow mein Lai had made for an early lunch. “I finished. You just slept half the day away.”

Sakura sighed. “You wake up too early.”

Syaoran made no response, only continue working on his homework. Sakura tapped her foot against the chair below her in boredom. Syaoran looked up to glare at her. She silenced her foot.

“What time do we go to that play?”

“Five,” Syaoran responded offhand, writing in little numbers.

Sakura let out a long breath. He was getting so annoying. “Why do you keep doing this?”

“What?” Syaoran asked, taking a mouthful of whatever was in the bowl on his lap.

“This! You keep blowing me off and acting so fake...”

Syaoran looked up from his paper, wearing a loosely interested expression. “I’m sorry. Would you like me to cancel all of my plans and take you out for lunch?”

Sakura held eye contact with him, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was pointless. She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. I find it hard to believe you don’t have an hour to spare somewhere.”

Syaoran sighed. “Did it occur to you I don’t want to spare an hour? Anywhere?”

Sakura sat up straight in her chair. “Why do you hate me so much?”

Syaoran made a noise that could have been a laugh. He went back to his homework. “I’ll let you figure that one out yourself...”

Sakura glared, watching him. He just kept on doing his math problems like she wasn’t there. She let out a sigh of annoyance.

“There’s still some food on the stove, if you want any,” Syaoran stated, shutting his book and standing up.

Sakura watched him get up and put his bowl in the sink and turned towards the garage. “Where are you going now?”

“Soccer practice,” Syaoran called back, exiting through the garage door. Sakura sighed as silence settled once more over the house.

He is so frustrating! Sakura felt like chasing after him and punching him in the face. But, she supposed, he would easily block any of the judo training she had had. It was hopeless. There was no way she was going she could convince him to leave in three more days. She was going to have to get very serious about it. Today at the play, he’ll have to drive me, right? I can just make him talk then. It’s not like he could get away. She looked up at the clock over the stove. Five... that’s only six hours from now... Sakura sighed and walked over to the stove. She could at least get a free lunch before wandering out into the world to find other things to do.

The chow mein was very good. She enjoyed it thoroughly, eating as slowly as possible. The more time she wasted the better. She pondered whether or not it would be acceptable to show up at his soccer practice. He probably wouldn’t acknowledge she was even there. She sighed as she looked into her empty bowl. She had to find some other activity. She set her bowl in the sink with Syaoran’s, leaning against the counter with boredom.

A distant ringing noise caught her attention. She slowly recognized it as her cell phone, ringing in her distant room. Sakura sprinted up the stairs, stubbing her toe as she went. She hopped on one foot into her room, reaching for her phone. It stopped ringing just as she made contact with it. She sighed and looked at the phone. It had Meilin’s number under the ‘missed call’ bar. She decided to call back and see what was up.

“So what happened?” Meilin’s voice answered, not bothering with hello.

Sakura smiled warily. “Uh... Nothing, really. He um... he invited me to a play this evening,” Sakura brightened as she recalled one good thing from the conversation.

“Oh? That’s wonderful! He wants you to go with him places!”

“Well... I mean, it wasn’t like a happy invite. It was like... ‘you can follow me there if you have to’ kind of invitation. And after that, he told me he didn’t care what I thought of him...”

Meilin made a loud sigh on the other end. “Well... we can’t expect an overnight change. What is he doing now?”

“Soccer practice.”

“Hmm... How about we go horse riding again? We can ride right by the soccer field.”

Sakura bit her lip. “Isn’t that a bit obvious...?”

“Not at all! We’ll use Alexis as our cover. She usually goes with Teller to practice... he’s on the varsity team now.”

“Oh, I forgot they were even here! I’d love to see some friendly people again.”

Meilin laughed for a second, then dove into her plan “Okay. So that’s settled. I’ll meet you at the barn in ten minutes.”

“Alright...” Sakura agreed, looking down at her clothing atire. It was suitable for horse riding.

“Bye,” Meilin said quickly, hanging up the phone.

Sakura walked over to her suitcase to look for a hair thing to put her hair up in. She couldn’t find any. With a sigh, she continued out into the hallway. She glanced into Syaoran’s room. It was so clean, so empty. She bit her lip and continued down the wide stair case. I wonder if that story is still here? He had been so embarassed by it last time I was here... But I never got to finish reading it. Sakura smiled as she remembered him chasing her around the house to get the pages from her. She had gotten so mad at him. Then they had gone to the play he was in, and he had kissed Alexis right on stage. But then he had made her walk to the ice cream place with him, forcing her to forgive him. And later that night their lips had finally met. And everything had been great. Great for like ten hours until I had to leave. Then he came to Japan, depressed about his mother’s death...

She stepped outside, the humidity hitting her as if she’d entered a sauna. She let out a long breath, finding oxygen hard to come by in the heavy, damp air. Her clothes seemed to stick to her. At least I’m not at soccer practice... Sakura felt a slight wave of pity for Syaoran. It disappeared as she thought of the few things he had said to her since she’d been there. The Syaoran from her memory seemed like a distant friend. This body she saw here was not familiar at all. She let out a long breath, looking down at the barn blankly.

I’ll keep trying, if I really do feel for him like I say. If I love him, I won’t stop until I know he understands. Until I know he’s okay. She tried to evaluate his behavior. He’s using girls. That’s not that horrible... I mean... maybe it is. But he’s doing it because deep down he’s miserable. That’s easy enough to conclude. Is he upset with me? Is he that upset with me for what happened two years ago?

Sakura could see horses grazing in the distant pasture. It was so hot, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to go riding. But the prospect of seeing Syaoran made her brighten. That was worth riding around in the sun. Sakura put a bounce in her step, seeing the barn asileways come into view. She hurried in, glad to be in the shade. The smell of dust and hay greeted her. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the cover of the barn. She evaluated the stalls. Few horses were in, and the ones that were had fans hooked to their stall doors. She smiled at a large chesnut horse that stuck his nose out the half stall door to see her. She walked over and pet it’s nose, then turned as she heard someone enter.

Meilin smiled. “You want to ride the same horses we used the other day?”

Sakura nodded. “Sure. Are they inside or out?”

“Inside, luckily....” Meilin scurried down the aisleway, stopping at a dark bay’s stall. “We’ve gotta hurry, we don’t want to miss them out on the field.”

Sakura sighed and picked up a brush as she saw Meilin do. She walked over to the brown horse’s stall she had ridden the other day and let herself in. The horse didn’t even bother to look up from its hay. She brushed the thick layer of dust out of its coat. “Well... won’t the coach be annoyed we’re distracting the players?”

“No, we’ll ride over to Alexis. They can’t complain cause we’re off the field.”

Sakura sighed and continued to brush the dirt out agressively. The horse was soon clean. She stepped out of the stall and put the brush away, then headed to the tack room with Meilin. Sakura walked over to the saddle she had used, remembering it easily. She grabbed the corresponding bridle and struggled out of the room, kicking the door behind her. Meilin shut it the rest of the way, dropping her own saddle in the process. Sakura continued to the stall.

The horse didn’t seem too excited to go out on such a hot day. It still complied, not making much of a fuss as Sakura slipped the bit into its mouth. She heaved the saddle up onto it’s back, adjusting the saddle pad under it and smoothing out the folds. She quickly tightened the girth, then peered out the door to see if Meilin was ready. Meilin led her horse out in front, heading towards the back trails. Sakura followed suit once Meilin’s horse’s back legs were a good distance away. She wouldn’t want to be the object of a kick.

Sakura jumped into the saddle as she saw Meilin get on, then trotted after her. She caught up and rode alongside her with ease. “We get there through the trails?” Sakura asked.

“Yeah, there’s a shortcut.” Meilin spurred her horse into a canter for easier riding. Sakura was glad to sit the easy rocking beat. They continued down the wide trail at the medium pace, a clearing in sight. Meilin took the lead and led Sakura around a way she hadn’t been. Sakura looked around, searching for a distant soccer field. She couldn’t see it anywhere.

Meilin turned around some trees, still going rather quick. Sakura refused to slow her horse and look like a coward. She sat back in the saddle and let the horse follow. As she rounded the turn, she found herself running down the sidelines of the soccer field. Some boys looked up from their positions. Sakura looked at Meilin’s horse in front of her, trying to look casual. She felt dumb, just parading in like this. It was such a cry for attention. She didn’t bother looking for Syaoran. Meilin continued happily down to the end of the field where some seats were set up. A girl was standing up. Sakura slowly recognized her as Alexis. She couldn’t wait to get away from the stares she was getting.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Syaoran took a long drink from the water bottle had brought. It was way too hot to be scrimmaging. He didn’t even need to practice. He could just show up at the game and make them win. But he didn’t feel like going home, listening to Sakura’s endless questions. Better to keep busy. She couldn’t get into his mind, he just couldn’t let it happen. He walked back to his center position, waiting for the coache’s instructions. They were the same as always. Kick off, scrimmage, same teams, try harder this time. He wiped the back of his hand on his forehead. It seemed the humidity in the air was starting its own public pool on his face. He couldn’t wait to go home and take a long shower. Or maybe he would just drive around on his bike until the wind had completely cooled him down. That would keep him from having to walk by her.

Syaoran’s kick off was pitiful. He didn’t care. Everyone knew he could do better if he wanted. There was a point when he didn’t care. He went after the ball, not letting the opposing team get any further with their play. He made a good pass to the left field, letting them do the work and score. He didn’t feel like sprinting up to make the goal. Let someone else have some glory. Teller was blocking the goal his teamate approached. Teller easily caught the ball, tossing it out to one of his players. It was sent back down Syaoran’s side of the field.

Syaoran looked up as a horse came cantering around the corner. Meilin was riding carelessly down the side of the field. It wasn’t very smart. If a stray ball hit her horse, the thing would take off and run for a long time before she could regain control. He lost all focus of the ball as another horse’s nose came around the bend. He could only guess who it was. Sakura came riding up, a smile on her face. It quickly faded as she approached the field. She obviously hadn’t wanted to come by everyone in such an obvious manner. He almost felt pity for her. Meilin and her schemes. She wasn’t very good at hiding her intentions. Still, he couldn’t help but sneak another glance at Sakura. She looked very comfortable in the saddle. Her hair sailed around behind her, free from any rubber bands. She’s only good because I made her good. She’d be terrified of horses if it wasn’t for me.

Syaoran returned his attention to the ball as someone from the right field sent it his direction. He continued down to the goal to score. Teller had a weakness catching to the left corner. He sent it in perfectly. Teller lept out and missed it. Syaoran headed back towards center field.

- - - - - - -

Sakura knew Syaoran was somewhere behind her, but she didn’t care. At least... if she did care, she wasn’t going to do anything about it. She kept her focus on Meilin and Alexis’s conversation. Alexis hadn’t gone so far as to say hello yet.

“Sakura, isn’t it?”
Sakura woke from her entranced state. “Yeah, and Alexis, right?”

“Yep...” Alexis was quiet for a moment, then looked out onto the field. “Please don’t tell me you actually like that bastard.”

Sakura blushed and smiled sheepishly. “I see you aren’t a fan of his new behavior either.”

“New? Not new. It’s been like this for...forever now. It’s so pathetic. My little brother’s so gullible, he’s starting to act like the rest of those barbarians... it makes me sick. Someone needs to crash their egos.”

Sakura smiled and nodded as if she understood. She didn’t... at least, not completely. “He’s bound to figure it out...”

Alexis shook her head, raking her red hair off her forehead as she did so. “No... That’s the biggest problem. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He knows how pathetic it is. He just doesn’t care, cause he thinks he’s justified. Which, I mean... maybe alot of bad stuff has happened to him, it just seemed like... for a while there, he was really turning into a strong person. Now he’s completely unsalvageable.”

Sakura could see Meilin and Alexis were both looking out into the field. She guessed they were watching him. She longed to turn around and look. What harm would it do? She turned in the saddle. It seemed the practice was over. All the guys were walking back towards their cars. Most of them had torn off their jerseys. Syaoran, she saw, had not. She sighed and turned back around. “I don’t know... I think there’s still hope...”

Alexis shook her head. “Well...I won’t bash your hope but... I don’t see it. It would take something more powerful than your average human to help him.”

“Well, Sakura’s not your average human being,” Meilin announced with a proud smile. “You see, Sakura started all of this - no offense Sakura. But um... it’s my genius plan to fix it with her!”

Alexis watched Meilin skeptically, then looked to Sakura. “Is this true?”

“Of course, my dear English friend! Do I lie?” Meilin faked a hurt expression.

Alexis continued to watch Sakura.

“Well... I don’t know if I did start it or not... But I came because I needed his help. And because I needed to talk to him about some things. And now that I see how he is... I would like to help him out...”

Alexis looked towards Syaoran. He was already getting on his bike, leaving. She looked back to Sakura. “He needs a freaking transformation, if you ask me. I think he committed suicide and then let someone else take over his body or something. I haven’t seen him in years.”

Sakura sighed, fiddling with the horse’s mane. “Well... I’m going to a play tonight with him. I mean.. him and a bunch of them... and that one girl... Chang something...”

Alexis shuddered. “Chang Mandu. What a slut. Well good luck enjoying yourself there. She can ruin any happy mood.”

Sakura bit her lip, trying to keep her jealousy at bay. “I don’t like her either. But... I mean, I just need a chance to talk to him, that’s all.”

Meilin slapped her horse on the shoulder, causing the horse to half hop in surprise. “That’s exactly why we’re going to help Sakura, Alexis. We just have to get them set up in the right situations. I know if Kinomoto-san is smart and words everything right, my cousin won’t be able to keep up his front. I mean, I didn’t think there was a chance for him to be stable after Yelan-san was gone... and yet, Sakura put him back on his feet... if only for a little while.”

Sakura smiled weakly.

“Well... I don’t think there’s much we can do, Meilin. Just let the poor girl figure it out herself.”

Meilin rolled her eyes. She turned to Sakura. “We’ll go to my house after this. I’ll pick out an outfit for you and we can do your hair...”

Sakura smiled weakly. “Maybe it’s best if I try to be myself.... instead of trying to impress him with looks.”

“I have a feeling Li-san isn’t too impressed with physical appearances, the amount of girls he’s had...” Alexis muttered.

Sakura frowned. “More than Chang-san?” Sakura hadn’t meant to blurt it out. It would have probably been best that she didn’t know.

Alexis eyed Sakura, then slowly shook her head. “Who knows. You can ask him yourself, once your preform this miracle.”

Meilin nodded. “Yep. Well, just wanted to let you in on our little plan, Alexis.”

“Plan?” Teller asked questioningly, entering the scene. The poor kid was drenched in sweat and he looked like he was about to collapse. He squinted up at Sakura. “S-Sakura?”

She smiled weakly. He had grown up so much. Last she had seen, he had been a scrawny boy with unruly hair and a surfing hamster. Now he stood broadshouldered and tall. She liked him better as a little boy. “Yep.”

“Hi! What are you doing here in Hong Kong? Visiting Syaoran, I suppose.”

Sakura nodded. “Yep.”

“How long?”

“Uh... just a week. Really, only three more days...”

“Oh...” He looked at his sister with an irritated glare. “You should have told me she was visiting.”

Alexis shrugged innocently. “I didn’t know. Meilin seemed to be hiding her like a little secret.”

Teller smiled up at Sakura. “Well then... It’s nice to see you. You should stop by our house sometime. Benny and Mookie are still there, though it’s been a while since he’s surfed.”

Sakura smiled. At least he had kept his child-like innocence. “Yeah, I’ll have to.”

Meilin sighed loudly, then turned her horse. “Well, we need to get going. Lots of things to do!”

Alexis shook her head, smiling. “Well good luck. You have my full emotional and moral support.”

Sakura smiled over her shoulder as her horse turned after Meilin. “Thanks! I’ll do my best not to disappoint you all.”

“Bye, Sakura!” Teller called, waving.

Sakura waved back, then trotted up after Meilin. Meilin laughed loudly as she caught up, their horses trotting along at a quick pace.

“What?” Sakura asked, pushing her horse over to avoid leaving prints on the field.

“Teller. He has quite a crush on you. After all these years, too.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “You just think everyone in this world is involved in some dramatic love scandal.”

Meilin shrugged. “They are,” She answered simply.

Sakura laughed, then spurred her horse in front of Meilin. It would be nice to get a long gallop in before focussing on the tasks at hand.

________________________________________________________________________

Syaoran pulled the black T shirt over his head that he had picked out, then glanced at himself in the foggy mirror. He ran his fingers through his hair quickly to get out the main tangles, then continued out of the bathroom. The shower had been nice. He hoped Sakura was still out riding. He glanced down at his watch. They would be leaving for the play in about an hour. He let out a long sigh as he walked down the hallway, hair dripping onto his shoulders. He shivered.

If I rode my bike, we wouldn’t have to talk. She wouldn’t have a chance to interrogate me there and back. But... we’d have to sit so close. That’d be awkward. He decided the car would be the best bet. He would just play music really loud. He could already picture the look of frustration she would have. He didn’t care. It was all her fault, and he wasn’t going to try and make it any easier for her.

Syaoran walked into his room. He needed a short escape to build up his strength before he would venture out with her. He looked around his room. There was nothing to hide within. He couldn’t get himself drunk in the middle of the day. With a sigh, he walked over to his computer and turned it on. He could play computer games until he had to leave. If he focussed enough on them, he’d almost forget what he was going to do.

He opened one of his favorite programs and started right up. It had been a long time since he had played anything on his computer. It felt so berating. He could do this stuff in real life, so why fantasize? He tried to focus, but he couldn’t. A shadow passed by in the hall. He looked up. It must have been Sakura, going to her room. Soon he heard the water running. He sighed and looked blankly at the screen.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura walked past Syaoran’s room, breifly glancing in. He sat in front of his computer, freshly showered in khakis and a black shirt. He didn’t look like he was enjoying himself. Sakura continued to the guest room, refusing to let it get to her. All the talk with Meilin and Alexis had inspired her. She was going to tell Syaoran what she wanted to tell him. She ignored the constant questions running through her mind.

She held the clothes Meilin had chosen for her in her hands. Meilin had insisted she stay and have her hair done, but Sakura had put her foot down. There was no point in pretending to be someone she wasn’t. She would take a shower and let her hair dry however it chose to. She collected socks and underwear from her suitcase, hid them within the shirt and skirt in her arms, and grabbed a bottle of shampoo/conditioner. She took a deep breath, then continued back to the bathroom. It was going to be uncomfortable to say the least. Showering at Syaoran’s house wasn’t the most comfortable activity in the world.

She stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She studied the mirror. It was still foggy. Syaoran had just taken a shower before her. She could see where he had wiped off the mirror. She tried to not let it get to her, then continued to turn on the water. She had to be brave about this and hurry. She quickly stripped and brought her shampoo in with her.

The shower felt wonderful. She hated being hot and sticky, and the long ride outside had been just that. Meilin had taken them all around the back trails. Sakura had begun to think they were lost, but fortunately Meilin managed to get back. Sakura glanced at her waterproof watch, soaking her hair all the while. They had gotten back just in time. They would probably be leaving in about twenty minutes. She doused her hair with shampoo and hurried to rinse it out. The soap seemed to cling to her hair like superglue. Finally she rinsed it all out, then quickly stepped out of the shower and reclothed herself.

She looked down at the outfit. It had been the only one of Meilin’s she had tolerated. The skirt was one of few with a conservative length. She wasn’t quite sure what kind of message Meilin wanted Sakura to send Syaoran. Luckily, the skirt had been in an open space in her closet, and Sakura had claimed it. The shirt was plain yet flattering. Sakura liked it well enough. She eyed herself in the mirror, trying to brush her hair out with her fingers. I should have remembered to bring my comb in here. Now I’m going to look like an idiot walking down the hall.

She did the best brushing job she could, then sighed. She looked so plain, staring back at herself. Mandu was pretty, she had to admit. It made Sakura sick. She tried to hold down her jealousy. She couldn’t let it get in her way. There would be no losing sight of the goal. Sakura looked herself over once more, then wrapped her old clothes in a bundle and stepped out into the hallway.

The hallway was clear. She hurried to the guest room, longing to bring a brush through her hair. She made it to her room, unspotted. She shut the door and dumped her old clothes onto her suitcase, then grabbed her brush off the nightstand. She brushed through her hair slowly, picking through the tangles. She looked over at the full body mirror by the wall. She looked good enough. She should get so caught up on appearances. But... It seems Syaoran has sunk that low...

She set her brush down, satisfied. She needed to quit thinking so selfishly. Syaoran was having bad effects on her. She headed back out into the hallway. The air seemed so much cooler since her shower. She savored the feeling, because she knew she would soon be hot again. She walked to Syaoran’s room, setting her mind in determination. This play was her big chance.

Sakura walked to Syaoran’s room, standing in the doorway. He was still sitting at his computer, looking bored. He looked up at her after a few seconds. She forced a smile.

“Are we leaving soon?”

Syaoran looked back to his computer, clicking out of his game. “Yeah...” Syaoran refused to let himself look back at her. She was playing tricks on his mind. He stood up and finished shutting down his computer, then turned to her, trying to block out the angelic image before him. “We can leave now, if you don’t mind being early.”

Sakura gave a real smile. “No, not at all.”

Syaoran continued towards the door, glad to see her turn and head down the stairs on her own. He kept himself a ways behind her, thinking through what CDs he had left in his car. Sakura stopped at the garage door, waiting for him. He brushed past her, grabbing the keys from the hook as he went. He left the door open behind and continued to the driver’s side of the door. Sakura hurried around to the passenger’s side.

Syaoran started the car, then paused to click through songs. Finding an obnoxiously loud one, he turned it up and continued to open the garage door. Sakura said nothing, only looked out the window. He tried not to smile. He knew how irritating he was being. He backed out of the driveway with expertise and continued onto the road. He accelerated unnecessarily fast, ignoring how rude he was being. Once he was in fifth gear on the main road, he lost himself in an air guitar solo.

Sakura drummed her fingers on her leg, glaring out the window. It figured Syaoran would find a way to avoid her. She watched him from the corner of her eye. He was playing along with the guitar, aloof to everything around him. A car cut him off and he coolly swerved into another lane. Sakura let out a long breath, glad the music hid her. She watched the pavement pass out the window. She had so many things to ask him. But she wasn’t going to try and outshout his music. She leaned back in the leather seat, trying to imagine herself somewhere else.

Syaoran could tell Sakura was thoroughly annoyed. He contemplated turning the music down several times, but refrained. She could talk to him when they were at the play. They would be there a good ten minutes before Yundi and the rest showed up. He sighed as he thought of Mandu going. He didn’t want to see her. She would just put him in a worse mood. But she would be there, complaining about how he threw her out of his house, how he didn’t care, how she was just so miserable. He couldn’t really care less.

Syaoran finally found the theater. He pulled into a distant parking space, not minding the walk. It would be easier to get out later. He parked the car and got out, the hot humid air greeting him. The sky had turned to overcast. He looked to the west for incoming clouds. It looked like rain later on. Good... maybe it’ll cool down.

Sakura looked around the parking lot, then at the large theater in front of them. Her ears were still ringing from the music. “Is this a dinner theater?” Sakura asked.

“Yeah,” Syaoran responded, checking the street before crossing over to the sidewalk up to the front doors. Sakura jogged across after him.

She evaluated the different people going in. Many of them were dressed extremely formally. Sakura was thankful she had taken Meilin’s skirt. She snuck a glance at Syaoran. Same old glare, half-wet hair creating a perfect cover from the world. She sighed and looked back to the door in front of them. An older couple held the door open. Sakura hurried to take the door, then waited for Syaoran.

They stepped into the lobby, finding it full of wild statues. Sakura looked up at the ceiling and found more statues hanging upside down. It was a little scary. Syaoran just walked with purpose to the ticket man. Sakura followed him. They walked down a dark hallway filled with theater goers. They stepped through a doorway and Sakura looked around in amazement. The large theater was many different levels, each having tons of tables. Each level was lit with different color lights. Sakura followed Syaoran down towards the stage. He stopped only two levels up. Sakura widened her eyes.

“This place is amazing!”

He shrugged, then pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. Sakura walked around to the other side and sat across from him, all the way on the inside. She peered over the railing that kept their level from the one below it. A couple was eating quietly, hunched over their foor. She looked to the stage. It was dark. Syaoran was leaned back in his chair, looking at ease. A waitor came by their table, standing in front of them.

“Hello, can I get you something to drink?”

Syaoran shook his head. “There’s going to be more people joining us, we’ll wait.”

The waitor nodded and headed away. Sakura looked back to Syaoran. “So... there’s going to be four more of us?” She guessed, counting the chairs at their table.

“Yeah. Mandu, Yundi, Ryoto, and Jin.”

Sakura nodded slowly, then looked back over the audience between their table and the stage. “This is high class... which sister of yours is in this?”

“Rana.” Sakura watched Syaoran, not bothering to hide her stare. He finally dragged his eyes over. “What?”

“Nothing,” Sakura shot back coolly. It was her chance to be mysterious. She sighed and looked over to the stage. “You know, I really have to talk to you more about the whole Eriol thing.... it’s kind of important.”

Syaoran let out a loud breath. “Of course, the cards, the cards...”

Sakura sank into her chair. “Listen... I’m sorry because it sounds like I’m using you for your help or something...”

“Not sounds like. You’re not even trying to hide it this time, it’s so obvious. But I get it. You can’t do it by yourself.”

Sakura sighed. “Sya- Li-kun, I wouldn’t be asking you this unless you promised me.”

Syaoran let out another breath. “You’re really pathetic, Kinomoto.”

Sakura scowled at him, then looked up at the small crowd stopping at their table. Syaoran’s friends found their seats quietly. The girl sat herself right next to Syaoran, plunking down in irritation. Sakura found herself sitting next to a boy she didn’t know, closed in against the railing. She smiled politely, not noticing the scowl Syaoran wore as he watched Yundi.

Yundi smiled habitually at Sakura. “Hello. The name’s Yundi, if you’ve forgotten.”

Sakura shook her head. “No, I remember. From the lighting booth, at that play Syaoran was in.”

Yundi grinned, looking at Syaoran. “You know, I had almost forgotten about that play...”

Syaoran glared back. “Me too. Thanks.”

Yundi turned back to Sakura. It was like watching a vulture circle over its prey. “So how long are you in Hong Kong this time?”

Sakura smiled weakly, feeling uncomfortable. The chairs just seemed too close at these tables. “Only a few more days.”

Syaoran watched Yundi and Sakura’s conversation from the corners of his eyes. Sakura was still being naive and oblivious. It was so obvious what Yundi was doing. And she looked merely uncomfortable. No brave ‘shut up’ or ‘you’re making me uncomfortable’. Syaoran felt Mandu tug his arm. He finally took his eyes to her.

“Thanks for telling me Jin was picking me up instead of you,” she barked in a low, wispy voice.

Syaoran glanced at her. Talk about dense.... Syaoran glanced at Sakura and Yundi. Sakura looked like a genius compared to Mandu. He looked back to the black haired girl. Her eyes were narrowed. The neckline of her shirt was so low it practically showed her entire chest, and Syaoran was sure if she stood up, her short would be at minimum length. If anyone was pathetic at the table, he would have to guess it was her.

“Do you like her?” She asked in a low whisper.

Syaoran looked lazily at Sakura. Sakura’s green eyes turned to him for a second as she talked with Yundi. She lost her concentration. She laughed and looked back to Yundi, blocking him out. “No...”

Mandu let out a short sigh, shuffling around in her seat. “Well... good. She’s so plain. And she couldn’t be more obvious flirting with Yundi like that...”

Syaoran nodded, only half hearing what she was saying. Mandu never said anything of significance. He was spared any painful silence. The waiter was soon at the table again. Everyone ordered their drinks, then continued in their little conversations. Syaoran loosely listened to them, finding himself zoning into Sakura’s conversation with Yundi and Jin.

“....I don’t know... I thought she was really nice.”

Jin shook his head. “No. Maybe she was nice to you, but she’s not nice. She’s simply a bitch.”

Syaoran frowned in question.

“Alexis,” Yundi explained, zoning in.

Sakura seemed irritated, and was looking towards their waiter. He brought their drinks on a tray. Sakura took hers, then looked off towards the stage. Syaoran had to mentally scold himself. No matter how good of a front she puts off, I know she’s not that innocent. He couldn’t help but doubt himself. She seemed so purely good. This is what’s going to get me hurt. She’s NOT good!

“Well.... shall we?” Ryoto asked, standing up and pushing his seat out. Everyone followed suit. Sakura frowned as she followed them.

Is this a buffet or what? Syaoran doesn’t tell me anything! She hurried to catch up, finding herself stuck in the front. Mandu was walking a ways beside her. Sakura glanced over. Her hair seemed plastered in style, her makeup perfect. Sakura looked back at the floor in front of her. Why had Syaoran turned to superficial? Had she really had that much of an impact on him turning him down?

Syaoran watched Sakura and Mandu walk side by side. Sakura was a little taller than Mandu. She also hadn’t starved herself to death to keep a ‘nice figure’. Instead, she looked like she could survive a hug without a breaking in half. She hadn’t gained much weight either. Sakura’s hair was much longer than Mandu’s. Her skirt was much longer than Mandu’s. Syaoran sighed and looked towards the door to the buffet room impatiently. He couldn’t keep doing this to himself.

They got in the buffet line quickly. Sakura looked down the sides at the food dishes. They had everything possible. She refused to let peer pressure decide her food choices and held strong to the things she thought looked good. Once she had a plate full, she glanced at the now-shattered group. They looked like they’d be a while. She looked hopefully to Syaoran. He was taking his time at a bread section. She sighed and turned back, figuring it would be less awkward to hurry up and eat by herself.

Sakura sat down at the table, finding the lights had dimmed from when she had last been sitting. She sat down in her chair, shoving Yundi’s chair closer to the end before looking at her food. She looked around. The theater was really cool. She thought breifly about Rana. If she was her, she’d be very nervous. She watched Syaoran and Mandu walk towards the table for a moment. No one in that family is nervous. She sighed and immersed herself in eating. No one spoke for a while.

The rest of the group slowly straggled back. Sakura found herself finished by the time Jin got back. She leaned against the railing, trying to look occupied. Yundi was too busy eating to hit on her. She snuck glances at Syaoran whenever he seemed busy. He’s so different and yet... I feel like he’s still somewhere in there... Sakura fiddled with the ruffles on the bottom of her skirt. If we could just talk uninterrupted for a few minutes... every time I try to say something significant, something happens. Sakura looked up at the starting conversation and decided to zone in. She could at least get on Syaoran’s good side, rather than sit an antisocial.

“Was Rana nervous?” Mandu asked, a well practiced smile on her face.

“It is opening night...” Yundi commented up, looking up from a pile of sushi for the first time.

Syaoran shrugged. “I don’t think she gets nervous about this kind of stuff...”

Sakura decided she should quit being intimidated by the social situation. She shook her head. “I don’t know how she does it. I’d start shaking when I saw all the people.... forget my lines...”

Mandu jumped in for the kill. “It’s not like they can see out here. Besides, a smart person would realize there’s no need to be nervous.”

Sakura smiled weakly. She really hated that girl.

Yundi decided to try and smooth over the two girl’s tension. “Yeah, I don’t think you can see much with all those lights on you...”

Syaoran glared at Mandu. She was such a piece of trash. Times like this, when he wasn’t using her for her sole purpose, he questioned his reasoning. He decided to teach her a lesson. “You were in a play, Kinomoto. And you weren’t nervous at all, remember?”

Sakura looked at Syaoran in surprise. Firstly, he was making her look better. It was almost a kind act. Secondly, he was reminiscing. “Oh... I guess. But I just meant, your sister must be really good to be in something like this.”

Mandu flipped her hair over her shoulders as if to make a point. Syaoran smiled inwardly. It was fun pushing her to her limits, if nothing else.

Sakura yawned and decided to stay out of the rest of the conversation. Most of it was bashing people she didn’t know. She knew if Mandu had her revenge it would be swift and sweet. She’d rather stay out of the way. The lights blinked, signalling that the play would soon be starting. Their waiter returned to gather their used dishes, then came back once more to take desert orders. Sakura ordered a chocolate chip cookie ice cream thing that sounded really good. Chocolate was a good idea given the current situation. The curtains came up a few seconds later and Sakura focused on the stage.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Rana was excellent. So Sakura thought. She was, however, glad for the intermission. She couldn’t wait for the cookie ice cream concoction. It sounded very good in the description. Sakura stretched her arms out away from Yundi, then watched the table to see what was going on. Jin and Ryoto were talking about something at the end of the table.

“Well that was... interesting...” Mandu said in her obnoxious, delicate voice. She brushed some hair off her forehead with her fragile, red fingernail painted finger.

Yundi grinned. “She’s quite something.”

Sakura frowned. They had a sarcastic tone to them. She had really thought Rana was good...

“Ugh, did you hear her slide off the note in the second song? I literally cringed...” Mandu continued.

Syaoran smirked. “It wasn’t just that song. I have no idea why they put her in that role.”

Sakura was a little more than annoyed with them. First of all, Rana was trying her hardest. Second of all, Sakura thought she sounded great. “I thought she was really good,” Sakura announced defensively. As she felt their eyes on her, she realized it might not have been the smart thing to do.

Syaoran took the liberty of answering. “Really good for a middle school musical, maybe.” The table laughed in response.

Sakura glared at him. “That’s a horrible thing to say about your sister.”

Syaoran rolled his eyes. “That’s right, I’m sorry. Good Kinomoto, not a bad thing to say about anyone...”

Mandu giggled at his left. Sakura bit on her lip, enraged. Syaoran knew exactly what nerves to hit. She couldn’t let him control her with anger. “I’m sorry I don’t tear others down to make myself feel better,” She mumbled, knowing as she said it she was making things worse.

“Fuck, Sakura, go ahead and go judgemental. You’re no better than the rest of us.”

Sakura glared towards the stage, afraid to find them all watching her. She knew if she’d let the words sink in, her eyes were sure to tear over. She kept away from them. She could see Mandu pat Syaoran’s arm from the corner of her eye. She saw them turn towards something. A few seconds later she realized it was the waiter, there with their deserts. Sakura took hers gratefully. The timing was perfect. She lost herself in the chocolate and ice cream. It tasted wonderful. She ignored Yundi and Syaoran making light conversation next to her. She just stared into the deep cup the cookie and ice cream swam in.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura didn’t see much of the last half of the play. She laughed automatically with everyone else, hushed at other parts. She spent most of her time planning retaliation. She didn’t know the exact words she was going to say, but she had determined what point she wanted to get across. She would make him face up to what he was. At least he called me Sakura. Right? She had to laugh weakly at the irony of its context. Of course Syaoran could turn anything into something angry.

Sakura followed the flurry of activity as the play ended. Everyone stood up, heading towards the same door. Sakura followed in the very back. No one tried to include her. She didn’t try to include herself. She found herself completely cut off from them in the lobby. She didn’t panic. Syaoran had to wait for her, he was her ride home whether he liked it or not. She stepped out into the hot night air. There was much more space here. She took in a deep breath. She felt something wet hit her face. A few more raindrops splattered down on her. She blinked the water out of her eyes and continued down the sidewalk. She could see Syaoran only a few people beyond her. Mandu was still walking next to him. Finally she had to follow Jin in another direction. Sakura hurried up to Syaoran’s side, ignoring his hostility.

Rain started pour down, soaking her hair. She picked up to a jog with him, hurrying across the street and down the parking lot. Syaoran unlocked the car quickly and Sakura jumped in. She pushed her hair out of her face and glanced at Syaoran. He started the car wordlessly. Music came on blaring. He turned it down to where it was barely audible, turned on the windshield wipers, then pulled out onto the road.

Sakura sat watching the street lights go by. Rain got harder. She could see distant lightening. Syaoran made no move to drown out the silence. She glanced once more at him. His eyes were narrowed but he wasn’t scowling. She swallowed hard, then looked back out her window. “I don’t mean to upset you, Li-kun...” She said softly.

Syaoran made no noise for a while. Finally he spoke. “I know. But you did when you showed up.”

Sakura let out a sigh. At least the hard part was over. She had gotten into the conversation without any shouting. “I just... I don’t get it... You seemed so sincere when you said those things... And I really do need you right now...” Sakura left out the word help, trying to help herself along. Maybe Syaoran wouldn’t get so upset if she didn’t use the word ‘help’.

“But you just showed up all of the sudden. No notice, nothing. Just showed up, expected me to drop everything and go back with you to help. Just to help you with your problems because I promised at a really weak moment a long time ago......” Syaoran sighed. She was making him way too honest. He had to remind himself why he was so upset.

“I know....I’m sorry, Syaoran....” Sakura waited to see if he protested. He didn’t. She was getting somewhere now. “I hated doing this, really. I kept delaying and delaying cause I didn’t want to do it.... but it’s hopeless. We can’t beat Eriol and find peace until all three of us are fighting.”

“Three?” Syaoran asked.

“Yeah... Chindra’s sealing cards now too. We think... we think that’s why Eriol ran away. Because he can’t beat us if we’re all three fighting together. He knows that. That’s why he’s trying to take our magic away. He doesn’t want to be beaten in his own game.”

Syaoran let out a sigh, turning onto the highway. It was all too fake. He didn’t want to hear any of this. He wanted to hear other things. “So if I don’t help you....?”

“The cards go back to Eriol. All our magic goes back to him.”

Syaoran turned the windshield wipers on high as the rain pelted down. Lightening cracked across the sky in front of them. He waited for his eyes to adjust, slowing the car for a second. He continued on in normality. “And why’s that a bad thing? You always wanted to be normal, anyways.”

Sakura bit her lip. “I don’t know... it just... It’s like... all of this, all my life has been in vain. And I’ve grown attached to the cards and everything...”

Syaoran turned onto his road. “So.... you want me to go back with you because you’re attached?”
Sakura let out an annoyed sigh. “I just.... I just have a bad feeling. Like.. Eriol’s a little too power hungry or something. It doesn’t make sense.”

Syaoran pulled into his driveway, pausing to push the garage door opener. He waited for the door to open. He parked his car, then sat silent for a while. “I don’t want to help you.”

Sakura frowned at him. He looked over at her.

“But I’ll think about it.”

Sakura shook her head. “Our plane leaves in three days.”

“Our?”

Sakura smiled weakly. “I bought you a ticket on the way back...”

Syaoran rolled his eyes, then opened the car door. “Of course. Cause you can get me to do anything for you, right?”

Sakura frowned, jumping out of the car after him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Syaoran shook his head, reaching for the door. Sakura jumped in front of him, blocking the way. He sighed. “It means I’m tired of you fucking manipulating me. Move.”

Sakura scowled. “I’m not manipulating you.”

Syaoran let out a breath of frustration, pushing her over.

“You’re such an-” Sakura caught herself, stopping midsentence. Syaoran paused in the doorway, turning with a curious smile on his face.

“Such what....An....?”

Sakura shook her head. “Nothing.”

Syaoran shook his head at her. “No, please go ahead. You wanted to say something.”

Sakura glared as hard as she could. She doubted it was half as intimidating as Syaoran’s casual smirk. “I was going to say... You’ve become something you’re not. You need to quit fooling yourself.”

Syaoran shook his head. “No, I think you’re the one being fooled. You were going to call me an asshole, right? It looks like you’re a little out of control... a little irrational, Kinomoto.”

Sakura scowled as he continued into the house. One of his sisters was at the counter making food. She couldn’t just shout at him. Besides, that would be proving him right. She sighed and stalked into the house.

Lai looked up from the counter. “How was the play?”

“Rana sucks.” Syaoran answered simply. He walked over to the huge living room TV, turning it on.

“It was excellent.” Sakura said, adding a glare towards Syaoran. Lai smiled.

“Well.... with these conflicting reviews, I suppose I’ll have to see it myself. Though I bet it’s safe to say Syaoran’s being a little overcritical.”

Syaoran made no response from across the room, only continued switching channels. He stopped as he found a channel showing a radar of the weather. A huge red blob was on the screen.

“Yikes, is that headed our way?”

“Yeah,” Syaoran mumbled, watching closely.

Sakura looked out the window. It was raining heavily and the lightening was coming violently fast. Thunder rumbled in the distance. “Quite a storm...” She muttered.

Lai set down the knife she was using to chop vegetables and walked to the window next to Sakura. She watched the lightening for a little bit, then whistled. “That’s some storm. We should probably get some candles together just in case...”

Sakura nodded in agreement. She glanced over her shoulder at Syaoran. He had switched to an action movie. There was a loud crash, then everything went dark. And then the lights blinked on again. And then went out completely.

“Figures.” Lai said over the thunder.

Sakura turned to the dark room, staying still. She was likely to run into something if she tried to walk without light. Lai stumbled over to the counter, treasuring the bright flashes of lightening to guide her way. There was some noise, then a weak light filled the room. Syaoran came walking up from the living room like it was noon. He took the candle from Lai and lit several others, then sighed.

“You lose your power often?” Sakura asked.

“Not really... It happens every now and then. It should be up pretty soon.”

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Pretty soon turned out to be more than two hours. Sakura had sat bored in the guest room with a book that had been left in the room. It was a horrible romance trash novel. After getting halfway through, she tossed it to the floor in defeat. Her eyes ached from reading in the candle light. She leaned across her bed to look down the hall. Several dim lights glowed. One was from Lai’s room, one from the bathroom, and one from Syaoran’s room. Sakura sighed and looked at her knees.

Persistence is key. Sakura got to her feet. She walked to the window, looking out into the darkness. Lightening still brightened the landscape. Rain came down much lighter than earlier. She bit her lip. I’m just delaying. She turned and stepped into her doorway. It was intimidating... approaching him like this. She forced her legs on, heading towards the far bedroom.

He left his door open. That’s a good sign. He’s not shutting me out completely. She glanced in Lai’s room on the way by. The girl was sewing up something. Sakura looked back towards Syaoran’s room. She slowed as she got to his doorway, then boldly stepped into view. Syaoran was sprawled across his bed with papers and a book in front of him. Figured. He could stay busy no matter what kind of limitations a situation had on it. He looked up, almost looking surprised to see her. He waited expectantly for her to say something.

“Hi,” she said weakly, staying grounded by the door.

Syaoran watched her silently. Finally he sighed. “You talk to everyone so far away?”

Sakura smiled sheepishly, then unrooted her feet and headed towards him. There wasn’t a nearby chair to sit on. It would be weird to sit on the edge of his bed. She decided to stand. As she stood in front of him, she surveyed the papers. Calc problems in the candelight. “This is what you do for fun?”

“I’m doing next week’s assignments, so I don’t have to worry about them,” he answered, going back to writing.

Sakura nodded slowly. He continued writing. She watched him write. The rain became the prominent sound in the room. Finally Syaoran looked up from his papers.

“Did you want something?”

Sakura gave a long sigh. “The last thing I wanted to do was argue.”

Syaoran went back to his papers. He wrote a couple problems before answering. “We’re not going to get along. I don’t know why you keep trying.”

Sakura shifted her weight onto her left leg. “Because we used to get along. Why can’t we now?”

“Things change.”

Sakura picked at her thumb nail. “Well.... I haven’t changed.”

“I know that.”

Sakura was about to retort at his cocky little remarks, then refrained. She was trying to make ammends. “Okay.... I just... I just have a hard time accepting who you’re being now.”

“I’m sorry.”

From the way he shot that offhand, Sakura doubted he was.

Syaoran looked up from his papers for once. “Listen, are you trying to intimidate me or something?”

Sakura frowned, confused.

“You’re standing there towering over me and it’s just making me more irritable than anything.”

Sakura smiled weakly. “There wasn’t anywhere to sit.”

Syaoran sighed and got up stiffly. He sat back down on the edge of his bed, collecting his papers. He glanced at Sakura for a minute to see if she would sit down. She was hesitating. Of course. When it came to things like this, walking what you talked, she could never come through. She reluctantly sat on the far corner, sitting indian style.

“I’m sorry I changed from what you wanted me to be. But that’s how it is.” Syaoran stacked his pages of homework together, then put them under his book’s cover. “I find it hard to believe you didn’t forsee something like this happening.”

Sakura felt emotions surge through her. He was finally talking to her. And she felt like he was being honest. Maybe Syaoran really wasn’t there. Maybe he had completely replaced every last bit of him. “I just... You were so smart and... and different. And I was really...” She sighed. Not good timing to say something like that. “I have no idea who you are now.”

Syaoran shrugged, getting up to set his books on his computer desk. He sat back down beside her, much closer. She noticed but made no act to get away.

“Two years of not talking to someone can do that.”

Sakura shook her head, frowning at him. She looked into his eyes. They were so different. There was no passion behind them whatsoever. Just a casual dullness. It frightened her. She realized he was sitting close now. She wanted to move, but that would be letting him have his way. “No. It’s not like that. It’s like someone replaced you.”

Syaoran sighed, leaning on his knees. “My mother had just died, Kinomoto. Both my parents are dead. You have no idea what that feels like. I had alot I had to fix when I came back here. I practically got on my knees and begged the Elders to accept my family’s regrets and get back into training. Any normal person would go crazy going through what hell I’ve gone through. And you’re upset because I’ve changed.”

Sakura tried to nonchalantly inch away, but she was at the corner of his bed. “But... I know. I don’t know anyone who could handle all of that... but... you seemed like you were really recovering, those last few months... and then all the sudden... I come here and it’s like you’ve grown up on the outside like everyone else and regressed on the inside to where you were when we first met.”

Syaoran looked at her. The candle light was dancing along her soft facial features, giving her hair a golden glow. Her emerald eyes were looking at him with such concern. She was no longer the cute girl he had known from Japan. She had grown up and now she was gorgeous. Gorgeous and so innocent. He looked back to the floor in front of him.

Sakura frowned. She had been a little scared for a moment, staring him down like that. But then she had seen something flicker across his eyes. Something familiar. Something so painful it had been hidden immediately. But she had seen it. He was still there. “I missed you, Syaoran.”

Syaoran could feel it. She had gotten into him whether he liked or not. He could feel himself panicking. He had to keep this from happening at all costs. Any feelings for her were going to come back and stab him. He had to shut them out. What did he do normally? When he felt himself falling into something old and forgotten, he escaped. He made himself forget. He glanced at Sakura. Her green eyes looked at him so intensely, so earnestly. He looked back to the floor. He had to get out. She had him right where she wanted. He would surely be crushed soon. It would take quick thinking to escape this trap.

He looked back to her. She sat there so perfect. He reached his hand to her cheek, tilted her towards him, and kissed her. And when she didn’t protest, he kissed her more. And before he could stop, he found himself pushing her down to bed beneath them. It seemed so natural. He moved his hand to her arm, finding it pushing him. She was resisting him. Why would she be doing that?

“Stop!” Sakura managed to break away long enough to say something. Syaoran froze, laying perfectly still on top of her. His weight made it hard to breathe. She swallowed hard. He watched her with panic stricken eyes. Her eyes were the same. Sakura pushed him and he did the rest, getting to his feet quickly. Sakura stepped back, shaking. Syaoran was just staring at her, unreadable. She tried to calm herself but the shaking wouldn’t stop. Sakura looked for something to say, but there was nothing. She took a hesitant step backwards, then fled out of the room. She continued running until she got to her room. She shut the door quickly and locked it, then sat trembling on her own bed.

Slowly her breathing returned to normal, the shaking being more persistent. She stared at the door. She hugged her knees to her chest. She willed him away with all her might. She waited for a knock. There was none. He hadn’t followed her. After ten minutes sitting frozen watching the door, she finally let herself lay down. She stared at the ceiling, not finding tears. It didn’t make any sense. She had been sure she was getting through to him. So she said something. What had it been? I missed you. I guess that’s an open invitation to some hormone driven pervert... not Syaoran. He had been there, if only for a second... then he seemed...Scared. He had seemed scared. Well so am I. I’m going to have to break out of the house early tomorrow morning and stay at Meilin’s until my flight...

She let out a long shakey breath. The candle on her nightstand was making scary shadows on the ceiling. She turned to it and blew it out. The room seemed to silence with the light’s absence. She shuddered, then turned on her side. It was going to be hard to sleep with her mind haunting her like it was. It was effortless to block it out. She let the images flow together in nonsensical order, drifting into a fit of nightmares.

_____________________________________________

Syaoran tapped his fingers on the kitchen counter. He looked to the clock. It was after nine. Sakura should be getting up soon. He had an urge to break into her room and see if she had snuck out the window, but figured she wasn’t bold enough to do something so rash. He sighed and looked out the window. Rain still came down. He had been planning on skipping training to wait for her, but the weather had helped him out for once. It would be too wet to do horseback training that morning.

He shivered as a vision of her large, terrified eyes passed through his mind. He shut it out, then looked towards the stairs. He heard water running. He almost smiled. She was still there. He decided he should look busy. He would be a moron for just sitting at the counter staring off into space. She would ask him what he had been doing and he would have to admit he had been waiting since five thirty in the same spot for her to wake up. He walked over to the fridge to get a drink, then walked back to his seat. The water had shut off. She would be appearing any minute now.

Daikal walked in from the den, smiling at Syaoran. “That dedicated, huh?”

“Mhm...”Syaoran replied offhand, not really listening.

“Well we’re all going over to Tyung’s for dinner tonight. You guys are welcome to come.” She walked to the fridge and pulled out some food items.

“Mmm...”
Daikal set a container back in the fridge, then walked to the toaster. “No training this morning, eh?”

“Mmm....”

She laughed and shook her head. “Okay then....”

Syaoran glanced over at her, glaring. Sakura would be coming down the stairs any second now. Daikal had to get going. She spread peanut butter across toasted pieces of bread, then grabbed her cup of milk. She smiled at Syaoran once more, then disappeared back into the den.

And Sakura’s brunette head appeared right on schedule. She took one look across the stairs to the kitchen, spotted Syaoran, then turned to head back to her room.

“Wait, Sakura!”

Sakura’s head paused.

“Please, I’m... I’m really sorry...”

Sakura hesitantly turned. She could barely make out any part of him from so far away. She couldn’t trust a word he said. She had thought she had gotten him back, and then he had done that. He was just too good at lying and faking. She stood, waiting for more.

“I’m an idiot,” Syaoran added hopefully.

Sakura sighed, paused, then reluctantly walked down the stairs. She stopped at the edge of the counter, watching Syaoran warily. “And...”

“And.... Um... I won’t ever, ever....ever do that again. I promise.”

Sakura smiled weakly. “Wonderful. Will you be upset if I hold you to that promise in another two years?”

Syaoran let out a long sigh. She had a good point. “No.”

Sakura sighed, then looked towards the den. She looked to the kitchen counter.

“Are you hungry?” Syaoran asked.

Sakura shrugged. “Yeah..”

Syaoran walked around the counter. “What do you want? Toast... or... cereal? That’s about all I can make.”

Sakura shook her head, refusing the pity that creeped in. She couldn’t tell if this was really him. “I’ll make some toast, thanks.”

Syaoran stepped out of her way, well aware of their newfound spatial limitations. He went back and sat down. He watched her make her toast. “I really am sorry.”

Sakura smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

Sakura shook her head. “I’m sorry that you’ve become who you are now...”

Syaoran let out his breath slowly. “I really appreciate the encouragement,” he muttered.

Sakura shook her head, biting into a piece of toast with vengaence. “You know you’re being dumb. I have no idea when you’re lying, you’re so damn good at it.”

Syaoran sighed in despondence. She was right. He was way too good at lying. He didn’t know himself half the times he was lying. “Well...” He left it at that. He had nothing to combat it. It was the truth. He was so obsessed with keeping himself locked away that he automatically responded to everything life threw in his way.

Sakura walked to the fridge and poured herself a glass of milk. She drank it at length, then looked warily to Syaoran. “So why...?”
“I don’t know...” Syaoran mumbled, kicking his feet against the counter in a drum beat.

“You don’t know...” Sakura glared at him in irritation. “Well, knowing that... you do realize I’m never going to trust you?”

“Yeah, I know,” Syaoran answered, silencing his feet.

Sakura frowned. “You say that so casually?”

Syaoran shrugged. “It’s like before anyways.”

Sakura made an annoyed sound, then leaned against the opposite side of the counter. “Fine. If this is how you want us to be, that’s fine.”

Syaoran watched her skeptically. She was being serious. If I remember right, you’re the one who wanted to be friends and nothing else, Sakura. “Fine.”

Sakura took another drink of milk, ignoring the initial hurt. He was treating it like nothing. Maybe she had been wrong thinking she was in love with him. Maybe she was in love with someone who was no longer in existence. She certainly did not like this boy before her. “Fine. I hope this won’t hinder us fighting together...”

Syaoran shook his head. “It’s seriously just about the cards with you, isn’t it? I mean, do I even exist in your mind outside of Eriol and all his minions?”

Sakura looked up from her cup, slightly off guard. He had just told her he didn’t care if she mistrusted him. He was so confusing. “Well...” It was a strange question. She had never thought about it that way. She supposed it seemed that to him. “You did.”

Syaoran nodded slowly. “Mhm.”

Sakura finished the glass of milk, annoyed. She hoped he understood the relevance of the past tense usage of ‘did’. “Have you decided if you’ll go yet? I mean, if you want to look at it that way, you’ll never have to see me again.”

Syaoran shook his head. “I don’t know.”

Sakura sighed. “Well when will you? I mean, it’s two days away! I’m leaving the day after tomorrow! You’d have to pack and stuff...”

Syaoran shrugged. “I dunno... Tyung wants us to go with the rest of my sisters to dinner tonight.”

Sakura glared. He was so good at avoiding the subject. “Fine, wonderful, I don’t care.”

Syaoran occupied himself with a jagged fingernail.

Sakura waited for him to say anything else. He didn’t. She shivered, thinking of the night before. Being overpowered was such a terrifying thing. Syaoran wouldn’t know. She thought all the way back to when Mark had completely scarred her. And yet now, compared to Syaoran’s ordeal, that was nothing. That’s probably all Syaoran sees girls for now anyways. Figures. He was probably pretending I was that girl... She watched him still. He was just sitting there.

Syaoran looked up after almost a full minute of heavy silence. Sakura was just standing there, looking aloof. She seemed completely oblivious that the button at the top of her shirt had come undone. He sighed. He didn’t like thinking so lowly of her. He couldn’t dismiss her as nothing the way he did with Mandu. He really did feel guilty taking her like that. Yet, she had completely sent the signals out to do so. Why should he feel bad?

The problem was, he had lost some ground kissing her like that. She had gotten to him whether he liked it or not. And his pathetic attempt to solve the problem only made things worse. Now he was pitying her. He was pitying the very source of his pain. He had to quit sympathizing her innocence. He looked back at her. It just seemed to radiate out of her like a perpetual sun. He hated it. He hated seeing her so unburdened while he struggled to go on. It was her fault.

But it wasn’t doing him any good to hold things against her. Their feelings were quite out in the open. He shuld just help her so he would be done with her. The chapter would finally be closed. There would never be another reason to see her ever again, and he would live safe. He could treat her civilly, right? There was no harm in that. Being upset and immature about her visit was just making things painfully slow. If he would just accept her as some tolerated nuisance, things would be much easier. Like a sister or something. There was no need to be hostile. He would just be completely numb to feeling.

“Do you want to go horseriding?”

Sakura looked up in shock from the counter. She blinked for a second, making sure he was being serious. He was. “In the rain?”

Syaoran shrugged. “Why not?”

“Um... No, not really, no.”

Syaoran got up, heading towards the door. “Alright. Have fun around the house, that dinner’s at five.”

Sakura watched him head for the door. He was serious. “Alright. I have to change.”

Syaoran grinned to himself, standing grounded by the door. He heard her scamper up the stairs. Much better. I was starting to lose control, being so angry with her... This is much safer. I’ll keep her on her guard, instead of the other way around.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura kicked her horse in the flanks, willing it to go faster. It reluctantly complied. She wasn’t going to let Syaoran leave her in the dust. But Raion was such a big horse, Sakura doubted her ability to keep up. Her horse seemed to hate the rain and mud, and refused to do more than it had to get by. She glared at Syaoran’s distant figure, squinting because of the rain. Her mind was a jumbled mess.

I’m not sure I even want his help... after that. Who knows what that’s going to entail. He’s being so unpredictable... what if he tries that again? Sakura slowed her horse as she caught up. Syaoran had stopped and was looking out from under the sheltering woods into the muddy field. Rain was pouring down heavily, splashing into the mud and grass. Sakura watched Syaoran to see what kind of a decision he was going to make.

“Your riding’s gotten much better,” Syaoran commented, pushing his drenched sleeves off his arm.

Sakura shrugged. “I ride Moondust alot... catch the cards and stuff...”

Syaoran glanced at her skeptically. “I thought you would have sold her.”

Sakura frowned. “Why would I?”

Syaoran didn’t respond, only plowed into the rain. Raion’s big hooves sent mud splattering all over Sakura and her horse. She glared after him, then kicked her horse into a trot. The rain was much heavier in the field. Sakura could feel her clothes slowly soaking through. Syaoran had no sense of fun. This was just dumb. She watched Syaoran, hoping he would slow down so she could catch up. He didn’t. The black horse disappeared into the next line of trees. Sakura sighed and contemplated turning around as her horse trotted after him. He was completely out of her sight.

And yet he’s being more civil than he has been this whole trip. How am I supposed to forget about last night? I mean... is it wrong of me to hold something like that against him? That’s not something to forgive and forget, is it? She slowed her horse to a walk, standing midfield in the pouring rain. Her bangs were dripping down onto her face. She sighed in defeat. At least she had cooled off. She kicked her horse on. It stood stubbornly, its sides flinching with every kick. Sakura kicked harder. It wouldn’t budge. It turned its head towards the direction from which they had come. She glanced over her shoulder towards home. The horse turned that way happily. Sakura was about to stop him, then sighed. She didn’t really feel like following Syaoran anymore anyways. Why not go back to the barn and wait for him to be a little more sensible?

Sakura had to keep the horse from taking off. Ironic how it wants to run now, when I don’t want to. She kept a firm hand on the reins, letting the water drip down her. She watched her horse’s wet ears turn backwards, hearing something. She dared not turn around. She didn’t have to. A big black horse slowed from a complete gallop beside them, snorting in excitement. Syaoran grinned at her, water streaming down his face. Sakura felt herself sigh inside. Not even his smile was real to her.

“Trying to sneak off?”

Sakura shook her head, water splashing about. “No. My horse wouldn’t go anymore. I don’t think he likes the water.”

Syaoran shrugged. “Do you want to switch horses?”

Sakura looked up at the big stallion, then shook her head. “No, not really. Maybe it’s a good idea to go home anyways. We’ve been out here forever, we must be miles and miles from your home.”

“But we were almost to our destination.”

Sakura frowned. “I didn’t know there was a goal to this splashing around in the mud. Which, thanks alot.” Sakura motioned towards her mud-stained clothing.

Syaoran offered no sympathy. “Sorry you can’t keep up.” He turned to look over his shoulder, then looked back down to Sakura. “Well if you want to try and find your way home, fine, but it’s not my fault you didn’t have any fun.”

Sakura let out a loud sigh, rain splattering off her lips. “No, no. Lead the way.”

Syaoran watched her for a second, then turned his horse and began trotting away. He stopped and looked back to see how she was faring. Her horse walked, then stopped. Sakura kicked it hard. It didn’t move. She took her excesss reins and slapped it on the butt. The horse jumped and bucked. Sakura found her seating and kicked the thing again. It bucked twice and wheeled around to go home. She stopped it.

“Get off,” Syaoran said, walking on foot with Raion’s reins in his hand.

Sakura scowled at him. “I was handling it.”

Syaoran let out a long sigh. “I know, I know. I’d just rather teach it a valuable lesson.”

Sakura glared him down for a second, then reluctantly got down. Syaoran handed her the reins, then walked over to the little brown horse. The horse watched him warily. Sakura looked up at Raion’s high back. She remembered riding him once. That once he had been a great, gentle, responsive horse. Now he looked fiery and uncontrollable. Sakura glanced over to see Syaoran beating the crap out of the brown horse. Within seconds the animal was transformed into a compliant, laidback animal. Sakura looked on in envy. Syaoran slowed the horse in front of her.

“It’s more efficient when you’re on the horse...”

Sakura gave him a dry, irritated smile. “Thanks.” She turned back to the horse’s left side. Raion snorted and took a few steps forward. She yanked back on the reins, paused in a moment of decision, then turned back to Syaoran. “I’m too scared to ride him. He’s too big and wild.”

Syaoran gave an annoyed sigh, not showing he found her candidness impressive. But she had never been a proud person. He became annoyed once more. “He’s not wild. He’s a good horse.”

Sakura shook her head. “You taught my horse that lesson, let me back on him.”

Syaoran glared at her for a while, then finally agreed. He lept down effortlessly and walked back over to Raion. “Fine. You better keep up.”

Sakura nodded and walked to her small, calm horse. She jumped on him, setting herself in determination. Syaoran hopped on Raion, made sure Sakura was ready, then began cantering away. Sakura had to kick her hardest to keep up.

The next set of woods passed quickly. They hardly slowed once. There was another large clearing ahead. It was all starting to look vaguely familiar. But these paths... I don’t remember these... She encouraged her horse into a gallop. Raion was stretching out happily in front of them. Sakura looked briefly at his rider. Syaoran was sitting the full out gallop like it was nothing. Of course. She finally caught up to him as he slowed for the sparse tree line they entered. Sakura looked around. The rain began to fall more heavily. Sakura abandoned looking around and focussed on directly in front of her.

The trees provided some cover. Sakura could see the plant life was much lower here, giving better visibility. Raion was walking beside them now, his breathing quick from the run. The trees began to crowd in, the plant life staying low. Sakura glanced at Syaoran. He was looking around as well. He looked back to her, noticing her stare.

“Do you remember any of this?”

Sakura frowned for a second. He wasn’t making any sense. First he acted like he hated her. Then he pinned her down and kissed her. Then he treated her like some unimportant relative. Now he was reminiscing. “Yeah... isn’t this... when you had that mission a long time ago, when I was in Hong Kong the last time?”

Syaoran nodded. He was silent for a while, as if thinking of her as well. Sakura bit her lip. It was definitely a dangerous thing to trust him. Who knew what really was going on in that complex brain of his. He didn’t give her much time to think. Next thing she knew, he had spurred Raion into a run. Her horse took off as well. Sakura found her bearings and looked ahead of them. Syaoran was heading for a large creak. She slowed her horse nervously. Syaoran found a shallow bank and plunged right in, Raion splashing through triumphantly. He wheeled Raion around once the horse was about up to his knees and looked back to Sakura. She stood a good five feet from the bank, watching uncertainly.

“So this was our destination?” She guessed, looking the waterway over.

“Are you coming? Or are you too scared?”

Sakura scowled at him. He could be so immature sometimes. Not just sometimes. Sakura urged her hesitant horse on. It walked up to the bank, then turned quickly, not liking the idea. She pulled the rein hard, forcing it to turn back. The horse stepped one reluctant hoof into the mucky water, then began pawing at it. Sakura shreiked as it completely soaked her in water. She didn’t notice Syaoran laughing. The horse proceeded with a quick backwards sprint, away from the water’s edge. Sakura took the reins and slapped it, forcing it to jump forward. It stepped into the water and ran out.

Syaoran was already coming to the rescue, much to Sakura’s dismay. He grabbed her reins from her and led her horse in while steering his own horse into the water. Her horse followed easily. She glared at the back of Syaoran’s head as he let go and began heading down the stream, then paid attention to her horse.

Syaoran already had Raion up to his waiste. Raion was carefully stepping in, then began swimming. Sakura watched with wide eyes. Syaoran wasn’t even riding, he was just holding onto the mane and floating along. He glanced back at her to see if she was going. Her horse was following Raion whether she liked it or not. She tried to prepare herself as her legs submerged underwater. The feeling was something she had never experienced, and therefore all preparations were futile. Her horse seemed to drop from under her. For a moment she thought the horse was drowning and she was going to die, then she found herself being pulled along through the water. Sakura struggled to hang on for a second, then slowly relaxed. It wasn’t so bad. Actually, it was kind of fun. She looked ahead where she could see water churning from behind Raion. They were quite a ways ahead. Sakura worried her horse wouldn’t be able to swim so far. But they kept going strong. Syaoran ran Raion up the bank and back onto dry land. Sakura’s horse followed gratefully, almost losing her in the process. She struggled to keep herself in the slick wet saddle, then quickly tried to rearrange her soaked clothes. Syaoran let Raion catch his breath for a moment. She let her horse do the same.

Sakura gave a broad smile. “That’s incredible. I didn’t know horses could swim like that.”

Syaoran nodded, having his own small smile. “Yeah...”

Sakura leaned against her horse’s neck, collapsing. It was quite a tiring thing. She found herself slightly shakey. “Well... thanks, Syaoran, for taking me out here.”

Syaoran looked for some arrogant, cruel thing to repond with. Nothing good was coming to him. He couldn’t help but question his own motives. He shrugged and turned Raion quickly, heading for home. Maybe I just want to be civil with her because deep down my subconscious is trying to screw me over. I mean, can I honestly stay numb to her? Probably not. She’s probably inside my head right now, directing all my major decisions. Maybe I should go back to being angry... He thought of the other night. Her big green eyes were shining through his mind like a beacon. No. I lost control, being so emotional. I’ve got to just keep this down. Maybe I’m leading her on. Maybe she deserves that. He looked over at her. She was pulling at the bottom of her dripping shirt, hair plastered to her head in a very unattractive manner. She still remained beautiful. He glared back ahead of him, annoyed. She’s too oblivious to be led on. But then again... she’s very naive. Very stupid. The previous night visited him once more. He sighed.

I can’t do that to her. That’s decided. I can’t screw her over like that. So I just have to keep myself numb to everything she does and says for the next few days. And... I’ll figure out whether I can help her or not later.

Sakura tried to relax, washing through her hair. There was no need to hurry. She was in the shower, the door was locked, and there was no need to half rinse her hair. She had found the rain had brought some dried soap to life from a previous shower. That had been the last straw for her. There was no need to let the Li’s make her feel uncomfortable any longer. She was taking a shower after having mud and rain and stream water all over her. She was going to enjoy it.

The hot water did feel really good. She dumped some conditioner in her hand and massaged it into her hair. It smelled wonderful. She smiled. Things weren’t so bad after all. She felt like she had really made some considerable progress. Meilin would go ballistic once she heard Syaoran and taken her horseriding. She knew she would be able to get Syaoran out of his shell. She had missed him so much over the years. It had been horrible sitting at home, wondering how he was doing. Now she didn’t need to wonder any more.

Sakura had been daring and had brought her razor from her suitcase with her to the bathroom. It had been a while since she had shaved and her legs were starting to look a little pathetic, let alone have enough resistance to sand down wood. Just as she touched it to her ankle, there was a knock on the door. She jumped, bringing the razor upward and taking a big chunk of skin with it. She grabbed her ankle in pain, slipping as she saw blood start to stream out of the cut. She instictively cowered in the far corner of the shower. The door is LOCKED! Sakura forced herself to relax.

“Kinomoto?”

It was Syaoran. Sakura felt herself fall at her last name. She tightened her grip on her bloody ankle. “Yeah?”

“Um... we kind of have to hurry.... I forgot about the dinner thing and we have to be there in fifteen minutes... so um... hurry.”

Sakura looked down at her foot with wide eyes, letting her hand off gently. Blood mixed with the water, flowing down to the drain in a red mix. She shivered involuntarily. It was Psycho all over again. She quickly gripped the cut, trying not to look at it. She waited for a while and let off it again. It bled still. She sighed and put her foot down, then roughly went over her legs enough to make them presentable. She turned the shower off, half hopped out, and looked for something to put on her dripping ankle.

She grabbed a peice of toilet paper and stuck it on. The peice of toilet paper was quickly soaked through, but Sakura ignored it. She was on to brushing her hair and pulling on clothes all at once. Once she had gotten her shirt on, she pulled her skirt from the first day on and then sat on the toilet seat cover. She picked off the piece of toilet paper, then quickly replaced it with another. She bit her lip. Fifteen minutes. That wasn’t much time to get somewhere. She got up, limping, and collected her clothes, shampoo, and razor. She concealed the awkward stuff under her clothes, then hobbled to the door, stopping briefly at the mirror.

She opened the door, then returned her hand to her ankle. Syaoran had already rushed out of his room, watching her. He seemed worried. “Are you ready-”

“Do you have a bandaide or something?” Sakura asked, holding her ankle in one hand while holding her clothing bundle in the other.

“Um...” Syaoran looked at her foot skeptically. “Yeah...” He began heading downstairs. Sakura followed him, readjusting her clothes. “The shower’s a dangerous place....” He mumbled under his breath. Sakura continued hobbling.

Syaoran handed Sakura a sheer bandage and waited for her to put it on. He tapped his foot impatiently. Sakura set her clothes bundle down carefully to make sure the middle part was concealed, then continued to her foot. It felt much better with the sturdy bandaid on.

“Um....are you sure you want to wear that?” Syaoran asked.

Sakura frowned, then looked at herself quickly, making sure there was nothing wrong that she wasn’t aware of. Everything looked fine. She frowned in offense. “What do you-”

“It’s just, we’re going to have to take my bike, if we want to be there on time.”

Sakura frowned. “Oh.”

Syaoran waited for an uncomfortable 3.2 seconds, then spoke once more. “I mean, you can, I’m just not sure how that would be...”

Sakura shook her head, gathered her clothes, then headed towards the stairs. She paused and turned. “What about you?”

Syaoran frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, aren’t you going to take a shower?”

Syaoran shook his head. “No time.”

Sakura eyed him for a second, then hurried up the stairs to the guest room. She tossed her stuff onto the bed, then dove into her suitcase for some nice looking alternative. She found a pair of jeans. She pulled them on, lost the skirt, then hurried down the stairs. Syaoran was waiting by the door. Sakura followed him into the garage. She saw him glance at her ankle. She hid a smile, amused by his curiosity.

Her smile disappeared as she look at the looming black bike infront of her. Syaoran opened the garage door, then got on it. “Let me back out of the driveway first...” Sakura nodded slowly, watching him move with ease. He started it loudly, then backed it into the driveway. Even with him sitting up, he was still far tilted to the front. She bit her lip nervously, slowly making her way over.

“Are you sure... this is safe for more than one person?”

Syaoran shrugged. Truth be told, he had only had Mandu on it once. She had informed him it was terrible, noisy, and terrifying. She would never ride on it again. “It’s um... it’s pretty safe. Oh... helmets...” Syaoran set it on its kickstand and ran into the garage. He came back with two. “This one was from one of Daikal’s old bikes, it should fit....” Syaoran handed her a red helment. She waited for Syaoran to put his own before she reluctantly pulled hers on as well. The whole world turned a little darker. She continued over to the side of the bike. She envisioned them making a fast take off, her flipping right off the back. She shuddered. Syaoran hopped on, then waited impatiently. Sakura reluctantly put her leg over the side. She realized how close it required them to be. She would practically be laying flat across his back. Of course he wouldn’t take those kind of things into consideration. Maybe this is his plan to scare me tonight. She sighed, trying to find a safe yet distant position. There was none.

“Okay, you’ll have to hold on alot, alright?” Syaoran shouted over the revving motor, his voice muffled under the helmet. Sakura reluctantly responded by sliding her arms around him. He wasted no time, and was soon smoothly driving onto the street. Sakura felt herself tense up. It was way too vulnerable on this. She found herself wishing for her old, worn out car at home.

Syaoran was at least driving conservatively. She had to give him that. She was sure he could do all kinds of impressive things, but she hoped, for both their sakes, he would keep it to a minimum. They drove through the urban streets, slowly picking up speed. Sakura tried to relax her body. It was pointless. Everything seemed too fast. They slowed to a stop at a stoplight. Sakura sat upright, shivering with excitement.

“Try and lean into the turns,” Syaoran called back to her, eyes on the light.

Sakura got a better grip on him and nodded, ignoring the fact he couldn’t see her. He took off fast this time. She held on for dear life. They were going so fast... she looked down at her feet. The lines on the street were blurring together. She felt them curving to the left. She pushed more of her weight that direction. It clicked. Everything seemed so free. So free of gravity and all its aggrivating rules and systems. It was actually kind of fun. She shut her eyes for a second. It felt like flying. She smiled. Maybe adreniline wasn’t such a bad thing after all. She tried to see Syaoran’s head. She was too glued to him to see. She tried to ignore the funny feelings she was getting to holding on to him like this. He drags me into such strange situations... Having me hold on to him horse riding, riding a crotch rocket through downtown Hong Kong.... Sakura looked ahead of them. There was traffic piled up. There was no way they were going to get there in time.

But Syaoran wasn’t slowing down. In fact, it felt like they were speeding up. Last second, he veered into a narrow alley. Sakura found her arms tightening around him again. They sailed through, the echoes making the engine seem endlessly loud. They were almost out of it. Syaoran was slowing a little, but not enough. Sakura shut her eyes as they merged back into the traffic. There were still cars blocking the road. Sakura could feel them slowing down. She sighed with relief. Syaoran must have heard it. Soon, he was speeding up again. They passed a few taxis stopped bumper to bumper, then went right between the stopped cars. Sakura’s eyes widened as she saw the cars go by. She wished she was in a place to hit Syaoran, because she would have taken the opportunity to do so. She prayed the cars wouldn’t move. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping it would be over. They took another tight left, then seemed to be slowing down again. Sakura reluctantly opened one eye.

They were pulling into a parking space of some sort. She opened her other eye. Syaoran slowed to a stop. He kicked out the stand, then pulled off his helmet. Sakura did the same, trying quickly to come up with a battle plan. Syaoran got off, careful not to hit Sakura with his leg. She did the same, almost falling over as she caught her foot on something. Syaoran offered his hand in support. She didn’t take it.

“I don’t appreciate you endangering my life trying to impress me.”

Syaoran had an amused smile on his face. “Why would I want to impress you? Besides, I got us here exactly on time.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, irritated. “I was beginning to enjoy myself and then you had to go breaking the law....” She charged towards the front door of the apartment building, having no idea where she was going.

“It was perfectly safe. Honestly, Sakura, you’ve known me for how long and you know I can take care of myself.”

“Yourself, sure. I don’t trust you with myself, I already explained that to you.”

“Right...” Syaoran responded offhand, opening the door for her. She stepped through ungratefully. He glared at her. He had felt something then. Maybe a pang of hurt. That wasn’t a good sign at all. He decided to take his irritation and mold it into some safety anger. If all else failed, he could stay upset with her. He just couldn’t have her hurting his feelings.

Syaoran took the lead, directing them to Tyung’s apartment. He felt himself dreading it. He didn’t want to see Tyung. He really didn’t want Tyung to see him with Sakura. She would probably tell Sakura everything and then Sakura would be all sympathetic... He hoped Tyung’s boyfriend would keep her occupied. He stopped at the right door and knocked.

Rana opened the door, smile on her face. “Ah, the biker squad.”

Sakura smiled, Syaoran just brushed passed her in annoyance. Sakura followed him into the small apartment. She looked around. Everything was very clean. Sakura followed Syaoran, feeling completely alienated. He sat down on a couch. She sat beside him, minus a good two feet.

Syaoran watched his sisters in irritation. He really didn’t want to be here. What had he been thinking, inviting Sakura to this? Maybe he was taking ‘treat civilly’ a little too far. I was feeling guilty, so I was trying to make up for it... He sighed in annoyance with himself, ignoring the inquisitive look Sakura gave him. Tyung and her boyfriend were finishing setting the dishes on the table, talking in hushed tones with Rana. Lai and Daikal sat themselves down on the couch in front of theirs.

“So how is your visit going, Sakura?”
Sakura forced a smile. “Oh... alright. I didn’t expect it to be so hot....”

Lai smiled. “This is nothing. Give it another month or so...”

“What did you do today, Syaoran?”

“Why do you ask?” Syaoran retorted. He hated their sudden involvement in his life.

“Someone from the Elders came by today with a message. It’s on the kitchen counter, I think...”

Syaoran let out a long, despondent sigh.

Sakura glanced at Syaoran for a milisecond before looking back around the room. Elders... I wonder what they really have him do. I don’t remember him ever having to carry guns around before... he must be in pretty deep. His depressed, hopeless expression stood out in her mind. It would be really hard to live like that, too... I wish I could help him with them like he helps me with the cards...This revelation continued through her mind for the rest of the night.

“I’ve got to leave for the play,” Rana announced loudly, heading for the door.

“Good luck,” Lai called.

“Yeah, you were terrific the other night!” Sakura joined in, ignoring Syaoran’s glare.

Rana blushed. “Thanks, thanks... Have a good dinner for me!” She disppeared into the hallway, leaving the room a little quieter.

Tyung walked to the living room, eyes on Sakura. She glanced at Syaoran but said nothing. “Dinner’s ready.”

Sakura followed everyone to the table, then sat herself next to Syaoran. It seemed very awkward. She hated intruding on his family like this. But... he had invited her. She tried to relax into the situation. Everyone began passing around dishes. Sakura accepted whatever looked good.

“So how’s life in the city, guys?” Daikal asked, spooning out some white rice.

Tyung shrugged, eyes on her own food. “Same old. I hate my job.... though, Seiichi is getting promoted to manager at the electronics department over there...”

Sakura looked up breifly at the name ‘Seiichi’. She shuddered as she heard the familiar love ballad in her head, Seiichi’s pathetic voice trying to belt it out. It was horrible. Unfortunate Tyung’s boyfriend had to share the name with such a nerd. She noticed Syaoran was looking at her funny. She just shrugged him off and continued with the food.

“Well that’s great. Electronic engineering is definitely the way to go,” Lai agreed.

“How is your job over there?” Tyung asked, taking a drink of water.

“Oh... alright. Everything’s still pretty much the same... I’m hoping for a raise soon, that’s about it.”

Tyung nodded. She glanced at Syaoran for a long second. Syaoran pretended not to see it. Sakura watched the exchange, mystified.

“There’s alot in computer science out there right now,” Seiichi said, his voice surprisingly low. Sakura looked up from her food for a second, then worked on making herself invisible again.

“Yeah, that’s the degree I’m working on,” Daikal said, nodding.

“All she does is complain about all the homework...” Lai laughed. “I was considering switching over to something in that field, then I saw the pile of computer work she brought home... it’s horrendous.”

“It is...” Diakal agreed.

Seiichi nodded. “It’s definitely not easy. The university you are attending has some tough classes for it.”

“What are you doing once high school is over, Syaoran-san?” Tyung broke in.

Syaoran looked up to glare at his sister. She never let him get away with anything, even simply hiding from a conversation. “I’m not sure.”

Lai rolled her eyes. “He’s a genius, I’m sure he’ll go be a rocket scientist or something.”

Tyung nodded, an amused smile on her face. “Mother and father would have liked to see you make something of yourself.”

Syaoran glared. “Thanks, Tyung.”

“He could though, really. I don’t know if he even bothers to go to school anymore. It’ll be one in the morning and I’ll find him doing loads of physics and calculus homework, as if he doesn’t have enough to do already,” Daikal continued.

“The elders still making you go train every morning?” Tyung asked.

“Mm,” Syaoran responded, glaring down at his food.

Sakura refused to look up at the tension building across the table.

“So, Sakura, isn’t it? What are you doing in Hong Kong?”

Sakura wished she had some working cards, because she would have been up and out of the room in a matter of seconds. She looked up with a grim smile on her face, looking towards to Tyung. “Oh, uh... I was just visiting...”

Tyung’s eyes narrowed at Sakura’s pathetic smile. “Just visiting... Syaoran-san?”

“Um...yes...” Sakura answered, doing her best to hold her smile.

“Mm...” Tyung responded, watching both of them curiously.

“Quit interrogating her, Tyung, she’s not bothering you.”

Tyung grinned at her brother, amazed. “Wow, I think that’s the first unselfish thing I’ve heard you say in years...”

Syaoran scowled. “Tyung, leave it alone, you-”

“Guys, guys...” Lai interrupted, a peaceful smile on her face. She smiled at Sakura. “We’re so glad you’re visiting.”

Sakura smiled weakly. “T-thanks...”

Syaoran let out a frustrated sigh and attacked his food. Sakura decided to give him some space for a while.

“Well I’m very sorry, Syaoran. I didn’t mean to upset you...” Tyung watched him carefully. She looked to Sakura. “I was just wondering about the nature of your visit, that’s all.”

Sakura bit her lip. It was like talking to Syaoran only a little more calm and in a girl’s body. Quite terrifying. “Oh well... um... did you ever hear of the Clow Cards.-”

“Don’t,” Syaoran interrupted, glaring at Sakura. She stared back in surprise.

“What?”

“Tyung, just shut up,” Syaoran said in annoyance, though he could already see the wheels spinning in her head.

“Ah.... more help for the cards...” Tyung mumbled under her breath. “Well it makes sense now... I couldn’t think of any good reason you’d visit after him leaving in such bad standing...”

Sakura frowned, this time looking at Syaoran. “Bad standing?”

Syaoran wanted to jump across the table and throttle his older, previously favorite sister. He could feel Sakura’s eyes pressing him for answers. He glanced at her in frustration, then at Tyung. “Tyung you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, you-”

“I was just guessing, from how he acted when he got back,” Tyung explained.

Sakura felt herself shrinking away from all the attention.

“I should have known you were going to do this, always-”

“Guys! Stop!” Lai had hit the table for extra help. It worked. She let out a long breath, then continued. “We’re here because Tyung had some kind of an announcement to make for us. Now Syaoran’s friend was nice enough to come along because she was invited, let’s stop giving her bad impressions. AND, let’s all try to be a little more understanding.”

Syaoran could feel the edges of his fork embedding into his hand. He glared at Tyung through Lai’s little peace making speech. She just had an amused smile on her face. It made everything worse. He dared not look at Sakura. She was probably starting to think it all out. She was probably starting to understand the reason he was so miserable, the reason he had been so stupid and gotten himself into numerous disapproved activities was all because of her. She was probably figuring out he was just desperate because she had turned him down. He continued into his food, deafened by his thoughts. He wasn’t hungry. He continued to eat regardless. Sakura was sitting quietly beside him. The rest of the table carried on light conversations.

Sakura fiddled with her food, not very hungry. She hated to be in the middle of conflict, especially within a family. But it seemed Syaoran and Tyung couldn’t get along. And she felt she was somehow the cause of it. She snuck a look from the corner of her eyes at Syaoran. He was eating silently. Of course he was. He was probably planning revenge against Tyung. She sighed and grabbed her glass of water, smiling politely as she met eyes with Daikal. She went back to her food, thinking. So even his family noticed his change. Well...I guess...how could they not. They’d be the first to notice. It was all after I left. Bad standing? Did he tell her what happened? Did Syaoran just let the whole world know how I turned him down? No... probably not. I can’t imagine him saying anything about that to anyone.

But apparently it was obvious to them. That it was all about me. All my fault he went off doing stupid things... Sakura sighed, then smiled to excuse herself as Syaoran glanced at her. He just went back to his food in his private little angry bubble. Sakura stirred her rice around. This was going to be a long dinner. She couldn’t imagine Syaoran staying for all of it. How can I be mad at him for the way he’s changed? It was all because I hurt him, anyways. He’s scared of me. That’s why he’s been acting like he has around me. Of course he wouldn’t admit to it. He’d rather look like he was in control, the one ahead of me. She tried to figure out why he might have kissed her like that. It hadn’t been for love. She shivered just thinking about it. He had looked every bit as scared and panicked as she had. Maybe I was starting to get to him. That was just his reaction of fear. He was trying to get away from me with lust or whatever that was. But he couldn’t do it.

Sakura felt like she had had the breakthrough of a century. Meilin had tried to tell her all of this, but it hadn’t made sense at the time. Now she understood. Syaoran’s behavior wasn’t a jumbled mess anymore. She could understand it. She had a feeling he didn’t want her to understand it. That would be him admitting all of these faults. Why would he? He thinks I don’t feel for him at all. He doesn’t want to love someone that can’t love him back. How can he even bear to talk to me? Sakura had found a new appreciation of Syaoran. Maybe he had been very stupid and very mean for a time. But he had still remained human. It seemed impossible. She continued in her food quietly. A raised voice got her attention.

“...So you know I don’t invite you over for just any occasion.” Tyung said, smiling. Everyone watched her closely. Everyone except Syaoran, who still flipped around his food.

“I already told Rana since she had to leave early. Seiichi and I are engaged.”

There were some shrieks from Daikal and Lai. Sakura did her best to look enthused, though she had only heard one or two sentences from the guy with the name she disliked and couldn’t care too much for Tyung. Tyung was already passing around the ring for them to look at. Sakura tried to keep her smile up.

Syaoran sighed. He knew somehow that this was going to happen. He couldn’t be happy. He didn’t like the guy and he wasn’t on very good ground with his sister. He didn’t bother to congratulate them. He glanced to see how Sakura was taking the situation. She had a dumb smile on her face and looked completely zoned out. He smiled inwardly. At least someone else here felt the same as him. He pushed that thought out immediately, going back to self pity. The situation was a very awkward one to be in. Sakura didn’t seem to notice.

They ranted on for a while about the ring, the wedding, and other trivialities Syaoran couldn’t care for. He looked towards the clock. It was getting late. He glanced at Sakura. She looked tired of being so fake. Tyung began collecting the dishes after a while. He got up and followed her to the sink, glad to see that the table was involved in their own conversation behind him.

“She wants help again?” Tyung asked quietly, setting the dishes in the sink.

Syaoran glanced towards Sakura. She was talking with Lai. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t keep doing this to me, Tyung. I’m so sick of it.”

She sighed, then looked him squarely in the eye. “Listen, little wolf. I’m not doing this to frustrate you, no matter what you think. You have got to save yourself before you become just like everyone in the clan.”

Syaoran shook his head. “I’ve kept our family going becoming like everyone in the fucking clan.”

Tyung shook her head. “I will stop questioning you. But please listen to some advice. Don’t shut her out, just because you were hurt once. Give her a second chance.”

Syaoran let out a short breath. “I’m sure you’ve become such an expert in relationships, getting married to wonderboy over there.”

“I’ll take that as a congratulations. Thanks. I mean it Syaoran, there’s something about her.” Tyung finished spraying off the dishes. Syaoran glanced over at the table. Sakura was still involved in a conversation.

“You don’t know her like I do, Tyung. I thought that at first too.” He let out a long sigh. He couldn’t become so open about this. He was going to get hurt soon. He needed to find control again. “We’re leaving. I got some new mission from the Elders or something.”

Tyung let out a despondent sigh. “Alright. Remember what I said.”

Syaoran made no response, only walked over to the table. He gave Sakura a look to let her know he was going with or without her. She rushed out of her chair, said her goodbyes, then headed after Syaoran. He was stalking down ahead of her, not walking to talk. She ignored it.

“Is that the first of your sisters to be getting married?”

“Mhm,” Syaoran responded, opening the door and heading out to his bike. He grabbed the helmets, holding one out for Sakura, then got on the bike. He started it, cutting off chance for conversation. Sakura reluctantly got on behind him, holding on tight. He took off quickly, but there wasn’t any traffic to worry about. The drive home was fairly safe. Sakura enjoyed the night air for what it was worth, wondering how cool they looked on the bike. She tried to catch a glimpse of herself in a store mirror. It looked awesome. She smiled and leaned against Syaoran’s solid body.

They arrived at the house after a fairly eventless trip. Sakura figured it was just as well. She had a newfound like for motorcycles. She waited for Syaoran to turn the bike off and get off. He didn’t. He only sat, balancing it in his driveway. After a moment’s pause, he spoke. “Go ahead, I’m not going home.”

Sakura frowned, then slowly slipped off the bike, carefully finding her balance. She pulled off the helmet and showed her curiousity.

“I’ll be home later,” He said, already kicking off of the ground.

“Wait!” Once she knew she had his attention, she continued. “What about that message from the elders?”

Syaoran muttered something of a curse word and set the kickstand out. He shut it off and got down, then stalked towards the house. Sakura hurried after him. He left the front door open for her. She shut it behind her.

Syaoran headed straight for the counter, trying to avoid any contact with her. She was getting way too close. It was getting hard to block her out. He needed to do something quick. Unfortunately he hadn’t been able to make the smooth getaway he had hoped for. He grabbed the envelope with the clan’s seal and opened it.

“Damn...” He mumbled, getting to the end of it.

“What is it?” Sakura asked, doing her best not to read over his shoulder.

“Nothing, I just... I’ll have to run some mission for them.” He shoved the paper in his pocket, then headed for the door.

“So where are you going?” Sakura asked, following him.

“Um, to see the Elders...” Syaoran answered because it wasn’t entirely untrue.

“Oh...” Sakura stopped, watching him disappear outside. She sighed as the door shut, it’s closure ringing through the large, empty house. She sighed. You were going to go somewhere before the Elders... She watched the door a bit longer, then convinced herself of his absence. She decided to go watch television, hoping to wait it out till he got home.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Syaoran walked to his bike with no energy. His mission from a few days ago had only created more upset enemies. He would have to finish them off. He didn’t like how it sounded. He didn’t want to take life. But the Elders would kick him out if he didn’t, so he didn’t have much choice. He leaned against the leather seat, longing to shut his eyes. He wanted out of everything. There was too much pain amongst the living. He sighed and forced himself on. He needed some kind of escape tonight. He couldn’t get drunk, that was for sure. It would be too risky for the next day. He thought breifly of Sakura, sitting at his house, waiting for him. He pushed the thought out. He was just setting himself up for disaster. He didn’t want Mandu. He didn’t want any of it. He couldn’t help but think of their horse ride earlier. That had been the first real thing he had done in a long time. He couldn’t get away from her. But he had to. He would die for sure this time. He glanced at his watch, then turned his bike on and headed down the street.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well there you have it! I apologize because I probably won’t be able to post this for a while.... It really didn’t take me very long to write it. It’s just that I’m here in Campbellton, New Brunswick Canada. And my grandma doesn’t even have a cd player, let alone a computer with a modem. So here I am, writing on my old laptop, looking out the window at the pretty mountains... sigh. Ah, well, what to do, eh? Haha... eh.... Anyways, I’m going to go on to the next chapter. I’ll post this up AS SOON as I get to my Aunt’s in Boston. Yes, even while I’m on vacation, I’m working for my audience. Thank you, thank you.

Comments at [email protected] or SyaoranChic on AOL/Yahoo

I love them, I need them, I live for them. Go Syaoran and Sakura, eh!

-Syaoran Fan 4 Life