RECAP: Last chapter... Syaoran and Sakura were leaving to Japan to regroup with Chindra and Tomoyo... They bought tickets for going to England... Went and saw Moondust, then Earthy and Watery decided to show up at the same time... the three kids fought it together and managed to reseal it for the time being... Sakura is painfully slowly making progress with Syaoran, begging him at the end to just go back home so he doesn’t get hurt.

Chapter 6 - The Romance of a McDonald’s Parking Lot

Syaoran awoke to the sound of rain. He blinked his eyes open to the dark room and sat up. There were no windows in the office/guest room, and the only light was from a digital clock by the bed. He waited for his eyes to focus and found it was ten minutes before his alarm was set to go off. He yawned and pulled the covers off him, shivering. He tried to contrive a plan to nonchalantly find if Sakura was home or not. He decided to go to the bathroom and kill two birds with one stone.

Syaoran grabbed the shirt he had tossed off in the middle of the night and put it back on, then quietly opened the door. The hallway was completely silent. There was a faint glow of light from the windows in the bedrooms. Syaoran looked towards Sakura’s door. It was open. He paused for a moment, then continued left to the bathroom.

Syaoran yawned once more. It was going to be a long day, travelling so far on an airplane. He thought back to the previous night, trying to remember all the information on their tickets. There had been one stop... He thought it was in Frankfurt. Syaoran glanced at himself in the mirror to be sure he was presentable, then continued back out into the quiet hall.

He shivered at the cool morning temperature. It never got this cold in Hong Kong during the summer. He walked towards his room, his eyes on Sakura’s doorway. He wondered if she was gone. He decided to check. Halfway to her doorway, he heard a sound downstairs. Syaoran looked towards the stairs. Sakura’s father was heading to the door, dressed in a suit and ready for work. Syaoran half hopped back into his room, not feeling like having a conversation. The man opened the door and walked out into the rain, then locked the door behind him. Syaoran sighed at the silence that settled over the house once more, then dared to go out into the hallway once again.

He slowed at Sakura’s open door and peered in cautiously. Her bed was empty, blankets thrown carelessly over the side. He refused to let himself admit he was disappointed and continued back to his room. He figured he might as well see if their plane was leaving on time. He turned on the computer, then walked over to his bookbag to get a change of clothes. He pulled out another Tshirt and some green work pants and then shut the door out of precaution.

He sat back down once changed and connected to the internet. The page took a painfully long time to load. It finally informed him that the plane was still scheduled to leave on time. He sighed and spun the chair around a few times, then found himself watching the door. I’ve got to stop. I keep telling myself to, and then I end up falling into it again. She’s completely changing me and I’m powerless to stop it. He got up in defeat and walked back to his bed, laying down over the blankets.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura quickly unlocked the door, wanting to get out of the rain. She had gotten drenched helping Moondust. It had felt like it was defeating the purpose, hosing off the horse’s leg while rain poured down, but Sakura supposed it was the cold temperature of the water that Moondust needed. She had seemed to be walking a little less stiff today. Sakura was glad. She had given the horse a large amount of grain before finally tearing away. Now her hair and clothes were dripping wet. She let herself into the house quietly. Her father’s car had been gone, so Sakura wondered if Syaoran was still asleep or not. She knew her father could be really quiet, and probably had done his best not to wake him up. She set her keys on the kitchen counter, then headed up the stairs.

I’ll take a shower, then I’ll make breakfast. I’ll make.... pancakes. Wouldn’t that be ironic? He might get upset about it... Sakura thought back to the night before. Syaoran had really been there. She finally had him starting to trust her. And now all she could think about was how she wanted him to safe and away from her. She ignored that thought for the time being and softly padded into her room, looking for the outfit she had laid out just before falling asleep. She grabbed it, then snuck past his room to the bathroom.

The shower felt wonderful. It was so nice to be in her own house, within her own comfort zone, if only for a day. She washed out all the muddy rain water and used more than enough soap. After about twenty minutes of luxurious hot water, Sakura reluctantly gave up the comfort of the shower and towelled off. She pulled on her clothes and brushed through her hair. She eyed herself in the mirror. She brushed out a side of her hair that was sticking out, then got out her toothbrush to brush her teeth. She brushed them, then grabbed some chapstick and smoothed over her lips. She smiled at the mirror. She looked pretty good. Sakura looked over her outfit once more, then headed out into the hallway.

It was a little cold out of the bathroom. She tossed her things into her room, then walked back to Syaoran’s shut door. She knocked quietly, waiting for a moment. Syaoran opened the door, looking almost happy to see her. Sakura felt like hugging him again. She held back, knowing she could only expect so much at a time. “Were you awake?”

Syaoran nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been awake for a while...” It had been over an hour since he had woken up.

Sakura smiled. “Well, I was going to make breakfast. I can come get you once it’s done...”

Syaoran shrugged, glancing back at the room. “I don’t care.”

Sakura smiled, entranced by him for a moment. She had missed him so much. He noticed her staring.

“What?”

Sakura shook her head, blushing. “Nothing. I’m making pancakes, is that okay?”

Syaoran didn’t bother to even glare. “Fine,” he mumbled.

Sakura smiled, nodded, then backed out of the doorway and headed down towards the stairs. She happily skipped down them, tripping on the last one and almost wiping out. She caught herself on the railing and continued to walk more cautiously to the counter. She got out the stuff she needed and quickly made a mass amount of pancakes.

Sakura looked towards the stairs wistfully as she flipped the pancakes over. She had been pining away two years, only dreaming of having him so close again. Now he was here, and she still hadn’t managed to tell him how she felt. She set the last few pancakes on a plate, then set them out so they could eat. She poured two glasses of milk, then bounded up the stairs again, stubbing her toe on the last one. She hopped, pausing to massage her foot, then continued to Syaoran’s door. He had left it open. She hoped he hadn’t heard any of her clumsiness.

“Pancakes are ready,” She said breathlessly, leaning against the wall to hold her aching toe.

Syaoran looked up from the computer that he had been pretending to be on. He turned back to it and shut it off, then got up and followed her towards the kitchen. “What time are we leaving?” He asked, walking down the stairs behind her.

“Nine,” Sakura answered, glancing at her watch. They had about fourty minutes to eat. Plenty of time.

Syaoran followed to a stool silently and sat down. He helped himself to a few pancakes and glanced at Sakura. She was doing the same, all with that happy cheerful smile on her face. He was yet again confused. The night before she had so earnestly begged him not to help. He supposed she was glad to see him starting to care. He sighed and took a long drink of milk. He was really screwing himself over.

“This long flight is going to stink. We stay the night in Germany, I think...” Sakura said over a mouthful of pancakes.

Syaoran glared at her for no reason in particular and then continued eating. “Wonderful.”

“Well... at least we’re becoming experienced travellers. We get to England at like... seven or something. Do you think we should go right over to Eriol’s?”

“Yes.”

Sakura stabbed her fork into another pancake, filling up quickly. “We’re going to be so tired when we get there... Ugh. I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Then don’t,” Syaoran answered simply. He annoyed himself with how civil he was getting. He was crossing the line.

“Syaoran... the thing I said last night, about you going home... I still mean it. You can still go back if you want...” Sakura watched him closely, feeling horrible. He continued to eat his pancakes, undisturbed.

“I have to help, I explained that,” Syaoran mumbled, pausing to take a drink of milk. When he noticed Sakura was still watching him, he finally forced himself to make eye contact. “I’ll be okay, alright?”

Sakura smiled weakly, then let out a long sigh. “Yeah...” She stared at the pancakes on her plate for a while, then glanced at the clock. They had a half hour left. She supposed she still needed to get a few last minute things ready. She finished off the last of her pancakes and leaned back, stretching her arms out in front of her. She glanced at Syaoran. He seemed to be taking his time.

I’ve got to hand it to him, he deals with it quite well. I mean... I felt completely alienated there in Hong Kong... that must be how it is for him here. At least I’ve gotten him away from the Elders and all the people around there for a little bit. It’ll be good for him. Maybe he can remember how he used to be, before he changed. “I’m sorry you have to always be surrounded by girls,” Sakura said, glancing at him before looking to her empty plate.

Syaoran sighed.

“I mean... I guess most guys would enjoy it... but still... It can’t be fun, every day, if it isn’t your sisters, it’s going to England with three of us...”

“It’s a trade off. Guys don’t irritate me so much because they don’t think to ask deep questions, but girls don’t irritate me so much because they think to ask deep questions.”

Sakura repeated the sentence in her head for comprehension purposes, then nodded. “I dunno. You’re smart, Syaoran-kun.”

Syaoran shook his head. “I didn’t say guys weren’t smart. They’re just better at forgetting it and being primitive.”

Sakura nodded in agreement. “Well that’s true...”

“But then they don’t go complaining about how cold it is or how insensitive everyone’s being or talking about feelings...”

Sakura smiled. “Well you have to talk about feelings, you can’t live your life ignoring them.”

Syaoran shook his head. “You’d be surprised.”

“Well... I like and dislike guys and girls at different times. Still, I’d much rather travel amongst three girls than be with three guys.”

Syaoran shrugged and decided to finish his pancakes silently. Sakura smiled at watched him, wondering if now would be a good time to ask him how exactly it was that he felt. It didn’t seem to be. She got up and set her plate in the sink, then looked towards the stairs. “I think I’m going to get the rest of my stuff ready to go. Just put that stuff in the sink when you’re done.”

Syaoran nodded wordlessly, not bothering to look up as she walked by. He finished the last of his food much more quickly once she was gone. Rain was continuing to come down outside, though very light. He walked to the window and watched it for a while, then glanced towards the upstairs. He could hear Sakura hurrying around in her room. He wanted to go up and watch her. But he couldn’t let himself. He decided to go upstairs and finish reading about the theories in his physic book. He might be able to complete an assignment before leaving. He let his eyes stray as he went up the stairs, looking into Sakura’s room. She was trying to get something out of her closet, but had started an avalanche in the process. She held up a bunch of boxes in one hand while trying to carefully wriggle out something with the other.

Syaoran tried to continue walking by, but the sheepish smile she gave him forced him to stop. He stood for a second, thinking about saying ‘need some help’, but decided it was an obvious fact and he might as well go into action. He walked over silently and pushed the boxes she was trying to hold up back into place, then waited for her to pull the book she was trying to get out. Sakura tripped and fell backwards without much grace, landing on her butt. Syaoran refused to let himself take in the situation. She was just so typical. He frowned as he recognized the book in her hands.

“You were hiding the Clow up there all this time?”

Sakura smiled weakly. “Well... sort of. It’s empty, see?” Sakura opened it, revealing that this was indeed true.

Syaoran frowned, watching her get to her feet in shame. “Where are the cards?”

Sakura smiled sheepishly again and walked over to her desk and pulled out a drawer that used to be Kero’s. She pulled out a stack of cards, holding them up so he could see.

Syaoran was unable to hold in the criticism. “You were keeping the Clow Cards in a drawer with a rubber band?”

Sakura bit her lip, longing to explain herself. “Well see.... I mean, they got out all the time and I eventually just tossed them on the desk when I got home after resealing them...”

Syaoran shook his head. “No wonder they’re trying to get back to their old master...”

Sakura sighed. “Well I mean... can you really blame me? They were out every day, and Chindra would have some and it was just putting them into the book every day, hiding it...”

Syaoran just watched her in disbelief. “All this from someone who said she was too ‘attached’ to give up the cards. I can see you really cared about them.”

“Well... I mean, I am. It’s just... right now, they’re not really my cards, per say... more like... lost friends...”

Syaoran shook his head, paused for a moment, then turned and headed back to his room.

“Thanks,” Sakura called hastily after him, causing him to pause once more. “I was about to be buried in old boxes for sure.”

Syaoran responded by walking out of view.

_______________________________________

“....and I started writing out some possible battle plans...” Chindra continued enthusiastically, pointing out some pages of scribbled writing and illustrations. “I’m not totally sure what you two are capable of, so you can change what I’ve written to whatever you’d like-”

“I’ll check it out once we’re in the air, thanks,” Sakura said, smiling. Chindra nodded, agreeing. Sakura glanced across the aisle at Syaoran to see if he had heard any of it. He had settled into the airplane chair and was looking depressed. She sighed and looked back ahead of her. Tomoyo was sitting by the window, insisting that Chindra have this time to go over battle strategies with Sakura.

Sakura wished she could just freeze all of it and have an unlimited amount of time with Syaoran. She would do whatever it took to get her feelings out there to him. She just needed to find the right opportunity to do it. She didn’t want to ruin it, blurting it out at some nonsensical moment. No, it needed good timing to back it up. She was beginning to doubt the right time would ever come up. Maybe I’m being picky. But... I guess everything in our relationship’s history has always been extravagent and impossibly romantic... it would figure I’d be the one to dull it all by telling him ‘syaoran, i love you’, while we’re parked getting gas or something. Sakura sighed loudly to herself. Things were just way too complicated.

Poor Chindra was a little too anxious about flying. When she had previously flown from London, they had all been so out of it and mystified by the strange ending of their battle that she hadn’t had time to be nervous. Now it was becoming very apparent that she didn’t enjoy travelling. Tomoyo was taking the burden for now, having a nice conversation about England’s weather with her. Sakura smiled. Tomoyo was such a great person. She was so incredibly selfless. Here she had been, sulking away as she tried to figure out how she would talk to Syaoran, and Tomoyo was thoughtlessly consoling Chindra. Sakura sighed. She needed to work on her selfishness.

The plane roared loudly as it took off into the air, then slowly settled and balanced itself. Sakura smiled at Chindra’s brave expression, then leaned back in her chair. “Now go on, described that last picture to me,” Sakura said, pointing towards Chindra’s notebook.

Chindra glanced towards the notebook she had put in the seat’s pocket, then pulled it out. She glanced once more out the window, smiling weakly at Tomoyo, then opened the paper. “Uh... Which one was it?”

Sakura smiled patiently. “It was um...” She flipped through a couple pages, then stopped. “This one.”

“Oh. Alright. Well see... this one, two of us will be off on the sides, like this, see? And one of us will be in the middle, distracting him, keeping him busy so he’s vulnerable to the other two. I don’t know who would be in the middle, it’s got to be the strongest one of us.... but I mean, Eriol can’t face all three of us at once, for sure!”

Sakura bit her lip, unconvinced. “Well... I mean, he has some help. He has the gaurdians with him... And he’s so strong... I mean, Syaoran and I weren’t able to do much damage, fighting our hardest... I don’t know if we ever even hit him with anything...”

Chindra sighed, then looked back to her paper. “Well, your friend had some strong attacks. I say he moves in from the middle and we go on the sides. I’m not sure what I can do, but whatever it is, I’ll do it. I’m sure with attacks coming in from three directions, he won’t be able to hold up his shield the whole time...”

Sakura nodded slowly. It might be possible. She brought the paper closer to her face to study it. It seemed like a good plan. She looked back to Chindra. “Can I show this to Syaoran?”

Chindra nodded, smiling nervously.

Sakura tore out the piece of paper, then took the pen attached to the binding of the notebook and thought of something to say. Here’s some battle plans Chindra was making the other night. What do you think? She glanced over at him. He was leaning on his hand with his eyes half shut. There was an empty seat between him and a business man sitting by the window. She sighed and looked back to the paper. She contemplated asking if he wanted her to sit over there with him, then figured he wouldn’t. She hesitated for a moment, then glanced down the aisle to make sure anyone wasn’t walking by. They weren’t. She tapped him on the shoulder with the notebook, smiling as he snapped to attention and glared at her. He took the paper with irritation and looked at it for a while. He let out a big sigh, then finally took out the pen and started writing back.

Sakura sat back into her seat, smiling. Maybe when we get to Germany, we can go out to eat or something. I could tell him then. But... I know we’ll be really tired... maybe he won’t want to go out. But... I have to tell him. I need to quit putting it off. Sakura looked back over at Syaoran, who had finished writing and was holding out the notebook for her to take. She smiled at him gratefully, then looked over the paper. She treasured his small sloppy handwriting and read over it twice.

It could work, but where are the guardians? Sakura happily bent over the paper to answer. She hadn’t thought of them. Maybe our first plan can be to put them out of comission so we can focus on Eriol. She handed it back to him. He looked even more irritated. He wrote back hastily. Sakura took it, still smiling. Yes, we should. Sakura sighed, wishing he would have written more, then turned to Chindra, who had been watching.

“Yeah, it is a good idea. You and I should take the sides, I suppose. But we have to take out the gaurdians first.”

Chindra nodded. “Who are they?”

Sakura frowned, trying to think back. She couldn’t remember if she had shown Chindra Keroberus or not. “Remember... you may not have seen him, but Keroberus? He was a like... little yellow bear that could transform into this big lion looking thing...”

Chindra frowned, thinking. “Ah....I think that’s familiar. Is he the only one?”

Sakura shook her head. “No. But he’s the one I’m worried about.”

Chindra nodded, then looked back to her paper. “This is going to be tough...”

Sakura nodded in agreement. She glanced over at Tomoyo, who had been watching them patiently. Tomoyo motioned for the paper. Chindra handed it to her. Tomoyo wrote quickly, then handed it back to Sakura.

When do you plan on telling him?

Sakura smiled sheepishly. She glanced once more at Syaoran, who was now sitting with his eyes completely closed. His eyebrows were managing to hold a weak scowl as he slept, but a more peaceful look was coming over him. Sakura sighed and looked at the paper. I don’t know. I was thinking maybe we could go out to eat or something when we get to Germany... I just don’t want to wait until we’re midbattle and Eriol’s beating us up, you know? I guess I should have done it last night or this morning, but the timing just seems off.

Tomoyo took it and smiled, reading through. Chindra gave Sakura a sympathetic smile after reading through it, then returned to looking out the window with worry. Tomoyo wrote for a while, then passed it over Chindra’s lap.

No, I agree, you don’t want to rush it. But just think, you’ve been waiting to say it for over two and a half years. I know Li-kun will be happy to hear it.

Sakura read it and let out a long sigh. She felt horrible, knowing her friends knew her feelings better than he did. She needed to set everything straight, and fast. Yeah... I can’t wait to do it. She handed it to Tomoyo, smiled weakly, then settled back into her chair. She glanced at Syaoran once more. His scowl was almost all disolved now. She wanted to jump across the aisle and hug him tight for a good half hour until she fell asleep on his shoulder. But, she knew, the second he opened his eyes the scowl would be back and he would say something mean to get her away from him again. She leaned her head on her own hand, sleepily shutting her eyes. If nothing else, she could dream about the successful day she finally told him.

___________________________

Syaoran blinked his eyes open, yawning. He forced his tired limbs to push him upright in his chair. He glanced out the window, seeing they were high up in the atmosphere and a large blanket of clouds was beneath them like a carpet. The sun was far on the opposite horizon from the last time he had looked. He supposed he must have fallen asleep for quite a while this time. Though it hadn’t really been asleep, because he still had vague memories of happenings in the cabin of the plane.

He remembered the stewardess serving their onflight meal. He had politely refused, not feeling very hungry. Syaoran glanced at the man a seat away from him. He was asleep, comfortable against the window. Syaoran sighed. That would be much more comfortable than sleeping on an arm that was lifeless with cut off circulation.

Syaoran was unable to stop himself from looking at the status of the girls to his left from the corner of his eye. Sakura was collapsed against Chindra with a pillow, looking very comfortably asleep. Chindra was sitting up drowsily, reading a book she had brought along. Tomoyo was leaning against the window, covered by her long dark hair. Syaoran glanced at his watch. It was way off. He supposed they had crossed many time zones on the flight. He looked down the aisle. There was another movie playing, though few people seemed to be watching.

Syaoran stiffly stretched his arms in front of him. He figured he should walk around for his legs sake while he was still awake and alert. Syaoran looked down the aisle behind him. There wasn’t anyone walking around. He figured he could walk to the bathroom and back. He got up stiffly and hurried by Sakura’s chair. His legs felt ten times heavier than he remembered. He forced them on, yawning once. It felt like the plane was making a gradual descent. That was a good sign. That meant they were getting close. He finally reached the bathroom. Finding it empty, he figured some water on his face would feel pretty good. He let himself in the tiny cubicle of space, watching himself in the tiny mirror hanging over the sink. He looked half asleep. He decided he didn’t care. He took some water in his hands and buried his face in it, then stepped back, feeling awake. It was a good feeling. He dried off with some paper towels, then headed back out into the aisleway with a more awake attitude.

There was a stewardess talking over the intercom now. Syaoran guessed it was in German, so he paid no attention. He figured they were just announcing that they were making their descent into the city and to turn off electronic devices and blah blah. He spotted his seat from far away. He could see half of Sakura’s body. She was still asleep. He sighed to himself for no particular reason and sat down into his seat quietly. The business man on his right was awake now, reading some business magazine. He glanced back over to Sakura. Chindra was gently shaking her awake. Sakura was sitting up, rubbing her bleary eyes. Her hair had all been pushed over on her head. She looked to Syaoran almost immediately, a pathetic smile on her face as she continued to rub at her left eye. She mouthed ‘hi’, holding her weak but sincere smile.

Syaoran hated himself for even paying attention. He managed an expression change for a response, then looked away with disinterest. It took some effort to keep from looking back again.

- - - - - - - - - - --

Sakura yawned, glancing at Syaoran once more, then looked back to Chindra and Tomoyo. Tomoyo claimed to have been asleep just as long as Sakura, but Sakura was not convinced. Tomoyo’s hair was still perfectly long and straight and her eyes looked awake and alert. Sakura had a feeling if she looked in a mirror, her hair would be frizzy and to one side, her eyes half open and tired. “Well... at least time passes quickly when you’re asleep.”

Chindra nodded. “I was so jealous of you two. I tried to sleep but I kept waking up to little bumps, thinking we were going to crash...” She laughed it off nervously. “Oh well. I finished my book.”

Sakura glanced at the science fiction novel Chindra had brought along with an amused smile. She had a hard time Chindra really enjoyed reading about aliens and spaceships. “Well thank you for letting me use you as a pillow. I didn’t even know I was leaning on you, it must have happened when I fell asleep.”

Chindra grinned. “You just sort of collapsed into it.”

Sakura smiled and shook her head, glancing towards Syaoran again. He was still looking any direction but towards them. She sighed loudly, then looked back to Chindra. “So was your book good?”

“Ah, well... It wasn’t....that great. But it passed time.”

Sakura and Tomoyo nodded with understanding.

“I suppose we should start thinking about where we’re going to stay tonight,” Tomoyo said, yawning a polite, sophisticated yawn.

Sakura envied her friend’s natural grace. “Yeah. I haven’t done anything but sleep on this plane, and I’m exhausted. A hotel bed sounds so wonderful...”

“Well, there’s usually tons of buses running people to hotels from the airport. I’m sure we’ll have no trouble.”
Chindra and Sakura nodded in agreement.

The stewardess came on and announced once more about the descent, about seat belts, and about electronic devices. They went through a layer of clouds, the plane bouncing gently. Sakura smiled and patted Chindra’s arm in consolation as the girl stared out the window in worry. Soon they broke through the layer of clouds, heading to another, more fluffy cloud layer. They flew into the white fluffs, everything becoming fantastical out the windows. Sakura looked out in awe. Even Chindra was able to calm down for a moment. Mountainous swirls of white floated along peacefully through the sky. The plane continued to break through them, turning slightly to the left. The plane hit another area of turbulence. Chindra gripped the arm rests.

Finally they emerged and found a huge city of lights below them. The sunset had painted everything yellow, orange, and red. It looked like a giant fire. Sakura searched out the airport runway lights and finally spotted them. The plane continued to come in at a quick speed. Chindra looked around nervously as the landing gear made a loud creaking sound. “What was that!”

“The wheels,” Sakura said, smiling. “If we didn’t hear that sound, that’s when we should worry.”

Chindra nodded slowly, then settled into her seat and closed her eyes for the landing. Sakura stared out the window in excitement. They were finally going to be out of this prison. She would be able to talk with Syaoran again.

“...The current time of Frankfurt, Germany, is six thirty eight...” Sakura looked down at her watch. It said they had been flying for about twelve hours, and that it was around midnight. She thought of telling this to Chindra and Tomoyo, but the plane landed and the brakes came on loudly. Sakura sat into the seat, looking ahead down the aisle. She began making a plan to get her carryons quickly.

Once the plane had stopped and was taxied in, the signs turned off for seatbelts. Sakura took hers off gladly. She got to her feet quickly, blushing as she bumped into Syaoran. He only glared at her and continued to get his bookbag from the overhead compartment. Sakura carefully moved around him, getting her stuff, then pulling down Chindra’s and Tomoyo’s. She handed it to them in their seats, then waited for the people ahead of her to start filing out.

It seemed to be an eternity. She was glad she was at least standing so close to Syaoran. She decided to make the best of it. “Did you sleep any?” She asked, turning to see him. She found he was standing alot taller than her now. She was a little over his chin.

“A little....” Syaoran replied, not taking his eyes off the front of the plane.

Sakura smiled. “We should go get something to eat after we check into the hotel.”

Syaoran shrugged, though he did feel very hungry.

“What is German food like?” She asked, not letting her cheerful side die out.

“Better than French,” Syaoran replied offhand.

Sakura smiled, shaking her head. She had thought Paris was a pretty neat place, carbonated water aside. She decided to leave it at that for now. The people in front of them finally began moving, and Sakura was able to walk forward a few steps. She let Syaoran in front of her. Tomoyo and Chindra squeezed into the aisleway behind her. They continued walking, finally reaching the jetway. They walked up it, feeling humid air leaking in from the outside, then continued into the cold, noisy airport. Sakrua followed Syaoran a ways in, then stopped to regroup.

She got a better hold on her things, then faced Tomoyo and Chindra. They looked like such seasoned travellers. She smiled. “You guys ready to look for a bus to a hotel?”

They nodded agreeably. Syaoran was standing at a distance from them, scoping the place out. He glanced at Sakura questioningly after she had been watching him for a while. She smiled innocently and continued past him, looking for the baggage claim signs. She made her way down the stairs, slowing to walk beside Syaoran. He pretended not to notice.

Sakura slowed to the baggage claim and waited impatiently for her bag to come by. Finally she spotted it. She excused herself as she squirmed through the dense crowd of people, and grabbed her bag. Tomoyo and Chindra were not far behind. They continued to the sidewalk in silence. Syaoran was the first to spot a bus. He led them over to it and they all got in. The driver said some things in German, then repeated them in English. The bus rolled into drive and began going down a road by the airport. It continued around the corner and slowed into the parkinglot of a very nice looking hotel. Sakura cringed. She wasn’t going to be able to afford it. The bus slowed at the lobby enterance, opening the door.

Syaoran got up wordlessly and stepped onto the sidewalk. He waited for Sakura and the rest to got off, then continued towards the door.

“Don’t worry about paying for this. My mom has us covered,” Tomoyo announced.

Sakura shook her head. “Tomoyo, you’re an angel.”

Tomoyo just smiled and shook her head.

“So we are going to have one big room or...” Chindra started, looking at all of them unsurely.

“Two rooms should be fine,” Sakura cut in. “One of us can just sleep on the couch or whatevers in there.”

Tomoyo smiled, watching Syaoran watch Sakura in his inconspicuous way. She wished she had access to her camera. It would have been some great footage. She thought about saying ‘why not make it even and have two in each room’ just to see their reaction, but decided not to.

They walked into the lobby and immediately looked around at the indoor fountain and garden. It was gorgeous. Tomoyo walked straight up to the desk with purpose. She motioned for them to sit down and wait for her to take care of it. Sakura smiled gratefully and walked over to a set of couches off to the side of the fountain. She sat down into the soft leather cushion. It let her sink in into a wonderfully comfortable posture. She yawned and unconsciously watched Chindra sit next to her. She watched Syaoran walk over to a single chair and sit down.

“You never appreciate real furniture until you sit in a plane chair for twelve hours...” Sakura said, smiling and shutting her eyes.

Chindra laughed in agreement. “Yes... I almost forgot I had legs sitting there so long...”

Sakura nodded to respond, then opened her eyes again. She looked over at Syaoran. He was staring at the fountain past them, looking pretty zoned out. His bookbag hung loosely on one arm. Sakura looked back to Tomoyo. She was handing the woman behind the counter a credit card. Looked like all was going well. The woman handed her the card keys. Tomoyo smiled and said something along the lines of ‘thanks’, then continued over to where they sat.

“Well, we can sit all we want in our rooms,” She said, smiling. Sakura got to her feet, knees cracking loudly. She winced at the sound, then collected her bags and continued after Tomoyo. They walked to the elevator around the lobby and stepped in quietly. Tomoyo smiled and elbowed Chindra as they went up, motioning for her to watch Syaoran and Sakura’s entertaining behavior. Chindra grinned as she watched Sakura smile at Syaoran, and Syaoran pretend to look away.

The elevator ride passed quickly. They filed out into the hallway. Tomoyo handed Syaoran a card. “We’re rooms 221 and 223.”

Syaoran nodded, then continued by himself towards his room. Sakura hurried to follow him. They turned left down a branch of the hall and slowed to a stop in front of their rooms. Sakura glanced at Syaoran, who seemed to be in a rush to get alone.

“Do you want to go eat in a little bit, Li-kun?” Sakura asked bravely, waiting as Tomoyo got their key out to their room.

Syaoran paused in annoyance, turning the handle to the door. He didn’t really have a choice, if he wanted to eat. “I guess,” he sighed.

Sakura smiled. “We can meet in the lobby in a half hour, if that’s alright.”

Syaoran nodded, slowly inching into his room. “Alright.” He disappeared, shutting the door behind him.

Sakura sighed, staring at the shut door, then turned to Chindra and Tomoyo. She blushed as she realized they had been watching her. “Well, what are we waiting for! We have a half hour,” She laughed, taking the card out of Tomoyo’s hand and hurrying into the room.

Tomoyo giggled. “You have a half hour,” she corrected, shutting the door behind her.

Sakura ran to a bed and jumped onto it. She laid spread eagle on it for a while, then frowned. “Nani?”

Chindra laughed. Tomoyo just shook her head. “You don’t actually think we’re going, do you? How are you supposed to talk to him with us there?”

Sakura sat up quickly. “Well, what do you mean? I mean... how will you eat?”

“There was a store across the street. We’ll just buy some stuff and bring it back.”

Sakura let out a panicked breath. “Well, really guys, I don’t mind. I mean.. it’ll be weird, meeting him and it’s just me.... he’s going to think I’m setting him up for something...”

Chindra shook her head, laughing. “Well... you are!”

Sakura laid back on the bed, starting to jitter with nerves. “But....” She sighed. They were probably right. She should just go ahead with it. Just tell him. She was being such a coward. “Well... thanks alot for telling me now.”

Tomoyo shook her head. “Well, you better change.”

Sakura nodded reluctantly, turning her head towards her suitcase. She hadn’t really packed anything to go out in. She crawled over the side of the bed and began rummaging through it.

“Don’t be silly, Sakura-chan. You actually think I forgot to pack things for events like this?”

Sakura looked up at Tomoyo, exasperated. “How is it everyone’s always one step ahead of me?”

Chindra and Tomoyo both giggled. Sakura shook her head. They were all conspiring against her.

“I’m just prepared, that’s all,” Tomoyo said, pulling out a skirt and shirt. She tossed it over to Sakura.

Sakura looked it over, sad. “I mean... isn’t it a little weird, to show up in a skirt? He’ll think... I dunno. It’s just weird.”

Tomoyo shook her head. “Sakura-chan, this is your big night. You’re going to go down there with purpose, take him out to eat, and tell him how you feel. You’ve been dreaming two years of being able to do this, now just do it!”

Sakura sighed miserably. It was a pretty outfit. And it wasn’t that rare for her to wear skirts casually. She slumped in defeat and got off the bed. “I’m going to take a shower or something really quick. And no! No doing my hair!” Sakura hurried into the bathroom with her bag of shampoo and shut the door before they could retort.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Syaoran sat on the edge of his bed, shivering as his wet hair dripped onto his shoulders. He had a feeling he was going to end up being herded off with Sakura, stuck to listen to her transforming arguements. He glanced at the clock. He needed to go downstairs. He would wait an extra minute to give them time to beat him down. He didn’t want to have to wait.

Syaoran got up and walked over to the window. He had a wonderful view of the dark parking lot. He shut the curtains and looked back to the door. He had probably stalled long enough. He grabbed his wallet from his bookbag and continued out into the hallway. He glanced at their door as he walked by. He looked back ahead of him, looking for a sign for the stairs. Finding them hidden in a corner, he walked down the silent, isolated stairwell to the ground floor.

He opened the door and walked into the hallway, immediately spotting the lobby sign. He walked towards it with purpose. He paused, his eyes catching something to his left. He turned and looked. A vending machine stood, containing within it a wonderful cold bottle of beer. He let out a long sigh. It would be so nice, just to stop and take a break from things... He looked at the bottle wistfully. He didn’t have the German money to buy it. He gave it one last wistful look and continued towards the lobby, depressed.

He could hear the water fountain. He reluctantly turned the corner, eyes searching for a familiar face. Sakura stood, contrasting brightly with the dark fountain behind her. Her eyes were watching the elevator in boredom, her wet hair clinging to the sides of her face. She bumped her purse with her knee rhythmically. Syaoran let out a long breath, watching her. He was getting in way too deep.

She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to see what it was. She smiled with relief as she spotted him, then walked over to meet him.

Syaoran glanced around, hardly surprised he didn’t see Tomoyo or Chindra. He looked at her for an explanation, not bothering to verbally ask.

“They um... they didn’t want to go,” Sakura said, feeling pathetic. At the look of disbelief he gave her, she sighed. “I really didn’t decide it,” she said sincerely.

Syaoran sighed, then looked towards the door. “Well, let’s just go then,” he mumbled, starting to walk. Sakura quickly fell into step beside him, unusually quiet.

They walked out into the cool night air. There was a pleasant breeze. Sakura looked around from the parking lot at the nearby restaurants. There was one a couple buildings over that looked promising. Syaoran watched her carefully from the corner of his right eye. She was definitely nervous to be alone with him. He dismissed it and scanned the road for any fast food place they could get through quickly.

“Where do you want to go?” Sakura finally asked, her voice seeming too loud in the night air.

Syaoran sighed, watching his breath swirl through the humidity. “There. At least we know what they have.”

Sakura cringed as he pointed to a McDonalds. She had a feeling he wasn’t a fan of the place, but was willing to go anywhere that was fast and painless. She pondered protesting. She looked at his face when he wasn’t paying attention. There seemed to be a sorrow hidden behind his distant expression. She looked at her feet as they crossed over the pavement. She just needed to tell him. They crossed onto the McDonald’s parkinglot silently. Sakura glanced at Syaoran often. He just seemed so sad. She let out a long breath as she reached for the door handle. She held it open for him. He may have muttered ‘thanks’, but it was a rather inaudible noise.

Sakura followed him up to the counter, looking over the menu with him. “Would you let me pay for us?” She asked hopefully.

Syaoran sighed. “It’s not like it’s too expensive for me...”

Sakura shook her head. “I’m dragging you out here. I don’t care what you say, you didn’t have to come and help me. So at least let me buy you some food.”

Syaoran sighed, then motioned for her to go ahead of him. She smiled gratefully and ordered a cheeseburger and some fries, then stepped out of the way so he could order what he wanted. Syaoran ordered some number combo, then stepped out of the way as he got his drink. Sakura sighed as well, but for completely different reasons. Their food was done quickly, at least. Sakura paid for it and then turned to head to some tables with Syaoran. He reluctantly led them to a nearby booth, sliding in with an annoyed look on his face. Sakura ignored it, thinking hard about what was at hand.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I wonder why they went there?” Chindra asked, frowning as she peered into the window.

Tomoyo crouched lower behind a thin bush, looking for a clearer shot. She found one and zoomed in. “I have a feeling Li-kun knew what was going on and backed out.”

Chindra shook her head, sitting down onto the cold pavement. She turned and smiled weakly to a woman passing by, then returned her attention to the restaurant they spied on. “Well... that’s horrible. I mean... you think she’ll actually tell him? There?”

Tomoyo smiled grimly behind the camera. “I doubt it. Sakura is going to be picky about it.” She turned the camera to follow a family of noisy children enter the building. She panned back over to Syaoran’s back and Sakura’s dejected expression.

“Well.... she should. I mean, all these years he’s been gone, she just mopes around wishing she could see him again. And now she’s being so slow about it.”

Tomoyo smiled. “That’s Sakura-chan. Never one to rush life.” She snapped to attention as Syaoran got up from his seat. She followed his walk to the trash can and back. It looked like he had already finished. Sakura sat finishing off some fries. She was looking out the window, but Tomoyo was sure they remained unspotted.

“So you are sure she won’t be upset about this?”

Tomoyo giggled. “Well... not if she doesn’t know about it.”

Chindra grinned. “You’re so cruel, Tomoyo. I’ll be sure to keep my love life a secret from you.”

Tomoyo shook her head. “It’s just these two. They’re so adorable. I’ve been following their progress for years now. It’s just one big rollercoaster.”

Chindra smiled. “That’s funny. I suppose, he does seem like a moody person. Do you suppose they will ever actually get along? I mean, maybe it isn’t as perfect a match as it appears. I mean, what if he loves he one minute and doesn’t the next?”

Tomoyo prepared herself to hide as they both were getting up now. “No, I think once they finally get everything honestly out on the table, there’s going to be a surprising amount of strength and stability there. It’s just, fate has had its way in messing with their plans.”

Chindra nodded, then began getting up as they were heading towards the door. Tomoyo wordlessly began jogging over to the corner of the building, camera on standby. Chindra followed. They peered around the edge of the building to tape their exit from the restaurant.

“You think they’re going back already?” Chindra whispered, watching them pause.

“I dunno, watch...” Tomoyo muttered, emmersed in the scene.

Sakura and Syaoran had stopped in the middle of the parking lot. Syaoran looked irritated as always, as if his precious time would be better spent sitting on the hotel bed watching TV. Sakura was pleading something with him. She grabbed his hand. “Kawaii!” Tomoyo whispered, zooming in with enthusiasm. She zoomed in just to get Syaoran taking his hand back, his scowl at the height of its irritation. Sakura set her lips in a thin determined line and said something. Syaoran glared for a while, then finally let out a huge sigh, looking like he was agreeing. They turned and began walking away from the hotel. Tomoyo stepped out from behind the building as they began to go out of sight, then reluctantly turned off her camera.

“Are we going to follow?” Chindra asked, exposing herself into the parking lot once more.

Tomoyo shook her head. She paused before letting out a sigh. “No. We shouldn’t risk ruining Sakura’s big moment.”

Chindra nodded in agreement, then smiled. “Well... we better go back and hide that tape before she ever finds it.”

Tomoyo smiled. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate it later on.”

Chindra nodded, then continued towards the hotel in a thoughtful silence.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura let out the ten millionth sigh of the night as she walked beside Syaoran down the quiet sidewalk. It had practically taken everything she had to get him to walk with her. She was wondering where she’d ever get the energy to tell him the big three words. She swung her arms at her sides in boredom, wishing he’d show some sign of friendship. He was good at hiding every trace of it.

“Are you really that frightened of me?” Sakura finally asked, breaking the cold silence that had settled on them.

Syaoran walked quietly for a while, in between retorting with something angry or something calm and cool. He decided to be honest instead. “Not you, necessarily. You seem to have good intentions. You just accidentally end up causing all kinds of damage.”

Sakura bit on her lower lip. “Accidentally?”

Syaoran sighed at her for making him have to explain himself. “You’re just so dumbly lucky... you can accidentally get the world handed to you and then destroy it because you didn’t want it. Not destroy it to hurt it, just because...I don’t know. I don’t know how you manage to mask everything in good intentions. But you do.”

Sakura tried to digest all of what he said, finding it a bit hard. “Dumbly lucky, huh...” She mumbled to herself, trying to sort it out. “Well... I suppose you’re right,” she finally agreed, surprising Syaoran. He glanced at her skeptically, then continued on silently.

Sakura looked up at the sky. It was hard to see amidst the lights of the town. It looked like a full moon. She glanced at Syaoran as her eyes made their way back to the ground. She could see his features dimly with the pale moonlight. He looked so perfect, and yet so miserable because of it. A loud motorcycle broke her concentration, chugging down the road beside them. Sakura glanced at it, then smiled.

“Your bike was really neat. You looked really cool on it.”

Syaoran only responded with putting his hands in his pockets and looking around in boredom. After a while he asked, “Was there a point to this ‘talk’ of yours?”

Sakura let out a long sigh. “Yes, actually. I’m sorry, I’m still trying to figure out what all you said and how it relates...”

Syaoran rubbed his eyes sleepily and continued walking.

“I don’t mean to cause anything harm...” Sakura finally said, staring at her feet.

“I know. That was my point,” Syaoran retorted, watching the cars go by beside them.

“Well... Why would I be scary, then?”

“Because you do cause harm,” Syaoran answered simply. He pondered turning and running back to the hotel. He could leave early in the morning before she did and buy a ticket back to Hong Kong. He sighed. He wasn’t going to. He would have to stay here and suffer whatever torture Sakura devised for him.

Sakura watched the cracks on the sidewalk, stepping over them carefully. She slowed as she noticed a change in the pavement she walked on. She glanced up. They were on a bridge. She stopped and looked over the edge. Syaoran hesitated before walking over and looking as well. There was a river running below them, moving slowly like dark shadow sliding along the ground. Sakura watched it wordlessly for a while. They had been looking over the stream in the park, two and a half years ago. How ironic.

“Syaoran, the point was... Why I wanted to go out and eat somewhere nice and everything was because...was because this. I don’t think you really understand how I feel about you and everything...” Sakura bit savagely into her lower lip.

Syaoran scowled at her, feeling some old anger starting to make its way to the surface. “Don’t bother,” He snapped coldly, leaning against the side of the bridge a little too dependently. “I know you’re trying to find a way to get me back, but it’s not going to work. You already made it pretty damn clear how you feel ‘about me and everything’.”

Sakura shook her head, feeling tears spring up for no apparent reason. Perhaps it was because she was seeing how upset he really had been from all of this. She quickly sent the tears away, trying desperately to clear her head. “No, no I didn’t. That’s what you don’t get.”

“What? That you do like me?”

Sakura nodded hastily. “Yes, I-”

“And that you really like having me around?”

“Yes, but-”

“And that I’m a really useful person to have helping out?”

“But that’s not-”

“And that it was nice having someone so pathetically devoted to your every thought?”

“No, Syaoran, you’re-”

“That you liked having someone to love you even when you couldn’t fucking love them back because you’re so fucking selfish? And I just wasn’t worthy enough or whatever it was for you, you just couldn’t be in love with someone like me.”

“Of course I do!” Sakura shouted, feeling so dizzy she thought she might fall down. She stared at him with passionate green eyes, pleading with him to believe her. “Of course I loved you, how could I not love you?! I loved you since...since... I love you more than anything, Syaoran, that’s what I’m trying to tell you!”

Syaoran scowled. He drummed his fingers on the metal railing of the bridge. He watched the water creep by. He felt himself involuntarily collapse, his automatic responses starting to take over. And then he felt nothing. It was so freeing. He looked at her calmly. Her green eyes were shining with tears like they did when something extremely important was going on. She was begging him with those big eyes to say something. He sighed a small, short sigh, then turned towards her and the hotel.

“It’s a little too late,” He said coldly. His words were clear and distinct. They seemed to hang in the air for hours, ringing over all of the cars that drove by. Sakura just stared at him in shock and disbelief. He paused for a good minute, not sure if he wanted to leave or not. Finally he pushed himself in the direction of the hotel. He knew she wouldn’t follow him. She was too hurt to follow him. He knew exactly the feeling she felt. And yet, he was freed from it. She now could fully understand what he had gone through. The thought made his steps lighter. He continued towards the hotel with purpose, his mind empty and clear.

Sakura stood trembling, watching him fade into the night. His words were still hanging in the air. It had been such an abrupt climax. She was at a loss for what to think, feel, or do. She turned and looked into the river, hoping it would hold some kind of answer. It only taunted her, reminding her of the stream in the park. She shivered involuntarily. A loud car sped uncomfortably close by, sending a breeze her way. She looked back in the direction he had gone. He had made his way into the maze of parking lots, almost to the hotel lobby by now.

Sakura found her delayed tears begin to make their way into the world. She didn’t bother to hide them. If there was ever a justified time for the tears to fall, it would be now. She glanced over again, hoping she’d find him running back. He wouldn’t. She had seen Syaoran return to himself as he became upset, old anger and sorrow burning in his gorgeous eyes. And then he had completely disappeared. There had been nothing there. He was so able to become completely cold and disconnected. It was a concept Sakura couldn’t grasp. She found herself stumbling back towards the hotel, tears falling freely. She sniffed and wiped at them, trying to compose herself. One look and Tomoyo and Chindra would know exactly what happened. She didn’t want to show them that yet. She didn’t want anyone to know. But, she supposed, it was pointless.

Sakura continued into the parking lot, taking her time. She let out a long breath. He had known I wanted to tell him that the whole time, didn’t he? He just kept avoiding these situations. So that’s it. Everyone really is one step ahead of me. I’m just a complete idiot. ‘Dumbly lucky’ is right I guess. She shuffled into the lobby, shuddering to think how close she would be. She got in the elevator, her tears dried. She tried not to think about it, fearing she’d break out in sobs. She was quickly at her floor.

She walked down the hall completely depressed, hesitating before forcing herself to knock on the door. She looked down towards Syaoran’s door. It was totally quiet. She looked back ahead of her as she heard the door unlatching. Tomoyo opened it, a large smile on her face. It immediately fell as she saw Sakura. She pulled her into the room, shut the door, then helped her over to the bed.

Chindra had stood up and was about to ask how it went, not picking up on the bad vibes as fast as Tomoyo. She shut her mouth and sat back down, looking very concerned on her friend’s behalf. Sakura sat down next to Tomoyo, finding it hard to keep a hold of herself. She felt like kicking and screaming until she couldn’t do it anymore. She let out a long shakey breath, then found herself crying again. Tomoyo patted her consolingly on the shoulder. Sakura felt like she was going to hyperventalate. She collapsed on the bed, crying into the pillow for a while. Crying always made her feel better. Once she was done, she felt like she had really vented.

But when the tears finally stopped coming and the sobs subsided, she felt every bit as miserable. Sakura sat up, trying at a weak smile for her friends. “I’m such a cry baby...” She said in a weak, cracking voice.

Tomoyo smiled, shaking her head. “Don’t worry about it. Guys break things, girls cry. Crying seems much more sensible to me.”

Sakura smiled weakly, tears starting again. She sniffed loudly, then yawned. “I need to sleep.”

Tomoyo nodded in agreement, got up, then pulled out the blankets for Sakura. She gladly slid under them, pulled them on, and snuggled into the pillows.

Tomoyo gave Chindra an uncertain expression, looking towards the wall that seperated their room from Syaoran’s. Chindra shook her head, looking towards the wall as well. They silently turned off the lights and began getting themselves ready for bed also.

__________________________________________________________________

It was all too familiar. Sakura was getting so tired of it. And yet, here she was again, standing in front of him. The environment was hard to categorize. It was a combination of many places they had been. But the situation was unmistakable. Syaoran’s amber eyes were looking into hers earnestly. He had said it. She felt her heart skip at the mere thought of it. She smiled at him, but it was a sad smile. It was a sad smile because she knew the outcome. She had always known the outcome.

Sakura sat up in bed, her eyes wide open. She looked wildly around in the dark room. There was a figure on the bed next to her, then another on the couch beyond that. They slept peacefully. She felt miserable for some reason. It began to come back to her. She glanced at the clock. It was three. She shut her eyes, then laid back into the pillows, frowning. She opened her eyes and studied the ceiling. She had had that dream thousands of times. It had never had an ending.

And yet, this night, it seemed to know what had happened. And it had finished itself. She shivered. The room seemed so cold. She thought back, racking her brain for what it might mean. When the ghost had been visiting her, it had talked of all kinds of weird deaths involved in the giant scheme of things. But the ghost had ended up leaving her alone. She had been free to battle Eriol alone. She had the most horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. That dream was a little too real. A little too vivid. She glanced towards the door. She sat back up in the bed, looking around. She couldn’t go back to sleep, not now. She needed to take action.

The feeling in her stomach was weighing her down. She could feel fresh tears in her eyes, originating from her dream. What an awful dream. She hesitantly slipped out of her blankets, not sure what she wanted to do. She found herself carefully sneaking to the door, grabbing a key as she went. She let herself out into the lit hallway, finally remembering to breath once she shut the door behind her. She sunk to the floor against it, absently pulling her skirt around her legs.

She began to remember the events of a few hours earlier. They definitely gave her a bad feeling. But it was nothing like the notion she received from the dream. That was something completely different. She could have lived with Syaoran not loving her. But having the unmistakable feeling that Syaoran was going to perish soon... that was something else. She looked down the hallway, feeling her energy surge up. She needed to take action. She stood up, deciding to do something. She looked towards the elevator, thinking about getting something to eat. Maybe then she could sort through it all. Instead, she turned and knocked on room 223.

She stepped back and forth impatiently, only half aware of what she was doing. She rubbed at her teary, sleepy eyes, trying to sort through the nonsensical thoughts in her head. She paced nervously, willing him to wake up and open the door. She reached out to knock again. She heard a noise and refrained. A full minute later, the door finally creaked open. She stopped pacing and faced it with uncertain determination.

Syaoran squinted at the hallway lights, only opening his door a crack. “What is it?” He mumbled, yawning.

“I have to talk to you,” Sakura said in a rough, sleepy voice. Tears were starting to sting her eyes as they dried.

Syaoran rubbed at his eyes, almost seeming asleep for a second. He finally looked at her through his fingers. “It’s the middle of the night.”

Sakura didn’t wait for anything more. She pushed passed him into the room, resuming her pacing. Syaoran glanced over his shoulder, let out a long breath, then shut the door again. He stumbled towards the bed again, longing to fall down and go to sleep. He collapsed on it, yawning.

“You have to go back to Hong Kong.” Sakura announced simply, pausing to look at him. He wasn’t paying one bit of attention. “I mean it, Syaoran. You have to.”

Syaoran finally forced himself to half sit. He watched her with his eyes half shut. “You’ve told me that before-”

“No!” Sakura said, irritated. She sat down purposefully next to him, shaking her head. “You don’t get it. I had that dream again. Only this time, I saw the end. I know how it ends. I’m not going to sit back and let you die.”

Syaoran frowned, looking a little more awake at the disturbing news. “Who says I’m going to die?”

Sakura’s eyes suddenly flooded with tears again. “It’s all my fault. You’re right Syaoran, I just... I destroy everything around me whether I mean to or not!” She sniffed loudly, wiped a few tears, then continued. “I... that’s why I couldn’t tell you, before... how I felt, I just knew... knew something bad would happen. I wanted you to be safe! But I ended up telling you anyways, because I am so selfish...” She broke into sobs, leaning onto her knees.

Syaoran tried to make sense of her hysterical ravings with his half asleep brain. It was quite a difficult endeavor. He sat up next to her, wanting to offer some type of sympathy. “What are you talking about, Sakura?”

Sakura quickly leaned into him, crying onto his chest. Syaoran reluctantly allowed her to go on, hoping maybe she’d calm down and explain herself.

“You.... in my dream... You tell me you love me, but I don’t want to answer you. I know if I do, you’ll die. Eriol will end up killing you for helping me. Because I’m supposed to be fighting him alone. I wasn’t ever... supposed to drag you in... But I’m so selfish!”

Syaoran sighed, allowing himself to stroke down her hair. “No you’re not...” He murmurred, knowing it would be just plain stupid to say anything else at such a dramatic moment.

“Yes! I am!” Sakura sobbed, clinging to him even tighter. “I was so caught up in wanting you to understand how I really felt, I didn’t care I was killing you!”

“I’m not going to die...” Syaoran muttered, trying to keep himself from facing the disconcerting theory.

Sakura sat back, her green eyes startling him with a grave desperation. He was taken aback by the level of severity, but forced himself to look back. “You’ve got to go home, Syaoran. Please! Please go home!”

Syaoran frowned. She really did believe all of this. “Sakura.... you know I have to help you, if you want to win...”

Sakura shook her head solemnly. “No! I don’t care about the stupid Cards or any of it! Just promise me you’ll go home and forget all about me and everything!”

Syaoran shook his head slowly. “You know that’s impossible.”

Sakura gave him a desperately pained expression. Her eyes were watering over again. “Please Syaoran...”

Syaoran frowned, thought, then shook his head once more. “I’m not going to die, Sakura.”

Sakura’s eyes flooded over. She threw her arms around his shoulders and cried again. Syaoran sighed once more, patting her on the back. She was truly serious. She really thought he was going to die, and wanted to do anything to keep that from happening. Even lie about her feelings and be miserable so he could go on being alive. It all made sense now. He stroked down her hair absently, deep in thought.

“Syaoran, I don’t want you to...to....” Sakura sobbed again, her voice muffled against his chest. She clung to him tighter, as if she let go, he might fall apart.

“I won’t,” he confirmed again, though was more than slightly disturbed to continue hearing regrets of his future death.

Sakura continued to cry into his shirt for a long while. Syaoran found himself growing tired again. He wondered how long she would last before becoming exhausted as well. All of that crying wasn’t good for a person’s vitality. He managed a look at the clock. It was three thirty. He continued stroking down her soft long hair. She wasn’t shaking so hard anymore. Any minute she would recover and smile at him. He continued waiting.

Finally Sakura pulled away from him, her eyes tired and dim. She watched Syaoran for a while, trying to size him up. Finally she said, “You’re going to go anyways, aren’t you?”

Syaoran sighed, looking down at the floor. “If I told you the same thing, would you?”

Sakura smiled weakly. Her smile dropped quickly. “But-”

Syaoran held his finger to her lips, shaking his head. “I’m going. And I’ll be fine, because I have you and Chindra to protect me, right?”

Sakura forced another weak smile, looking down at her knees. “I guess, but...”

“Did you see how I died?” Syaoran dared to ask, a little freaked out at the thought.

Sakura shook her head, luckily failing to notice the relieved look on Syaoran’s face. “No. I just... You just fall. I know you’ve died. It’s terrible.” She wiped at her eyes, then let out a shakey breath.

“Well maybe it’s a possible ending. But it doesn’t mean I have to die. Not if you’re not even sure how it happens. I mean, what kind of a prophetic dream would that be?”
Sakura smiled weakly and nodded. “I guess, but...”

“But nothing. I’m not going to let myself die and I know you won’t let me die. Right?”

Sakura nodded, her weak smile holding. She looked up from her knees to watch him. He had a small smile as well. It was real. She gazed at him for a while, amazed to finally see him again. She blinked and looked back down at her knees, not quite sure what to say. Things were still so confusing right now. She blinked another time, her eyes seeming to stick shut for a while before opening. She yawned and then let out a long sigh.

“You should get some rest, you’re going to be really tired flying tomorrow. We want to be in good condition getting to England.”

Sakura nodded slowly. She didn’t want to leave the small sanctuary of peace she had found. She wished she could just sleep here, right next to him, under his protection, or perhaps, having him under hers. But it seemed like Syaoran would rather have his space. Still, she had a hard time making herself move. She wished Syaoran would make some kind of decision for her. Her brain was fried.

He made one she disliked. He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, then walked her to the door. Sakura lingered in the doorway with him, not giving him back his hand. She finally dropped it and exchanged it for a tight hug.

“I love you, Syaoran,” she said in her muffled, tired voice. She stepped back opened the door in one movement, smiling breifly before disappearing into the hallway. Syaoran blinked and found her gone with the door shut and silence back in the room.

He watched the door for a moment, half hoping she would come running back and repeat the whole scene over again. He waited to no avail. Finally he pulled himself away and stumbled back to his bed. He collapsed onto it, rested a moment, then found the strength to pull the blankets over him. He yawned loudly, then lay staring at the ceiling.

All that time, she thought she was keeping me safe. She really had loved me all along. It’s not such a mystery after all.

_______________________________________________________________________

Sakura settled against the window, letting out a long breath of relief. It was wonderful, finally sitting down in the plane. The plane had been delayed two hours, and they had been stuck sitting in the loud gate chairs, bored out of their minds. Sakura couldn’t wait to grab a pillow and go to sleep. Tomoyo had been kind enough to offer the window seat to her so she could sleep. Sakura guessed Tomoyo knew she had gotten up in the middle of the night. But of course, Tomoyo didn’t say a thing. She only smiled that all knowing smile as she watched them deal awkwardly with each other.

Sakura thought it was very unfortunate they hadn’t been able to know about the delay beforehand. She would have loved to sleep in. But no, she had woken up for the time their flight was scheduled for, walked half asleep to the bus stop, and waited miserably in the cold gate chairs. It hadn’t helped that she had emotions flooding in from the day before.

If Syaoran had any last thoughts about going to England, he hadn’t shown it. He had been characteristically quiet, but there was something about him that was different. Sakura hadn’t bothered to say one thing to him besides ‘what’s our gate number again’. He hadn’t bothered to say anything to her.

And so there she sat, curled up against the window, falling asleep before the plane ever backed out from the airport. The plane bumped along as it began to taxi down to the runway. The flight attendents began their little speeches on flight safety in German. Sakura zoned out, staring out the window with her blurry eyes. They were going to fight Eriol with all possible resources. This was it. This was their big end. And everything was out on the table. Sakura didn’t feel like everything was as straightened out as it should be. She needed more time. But that was something she didn’t have.

Sakura yawned as the plane took off, trying to keep her ears from popping too badly. Finally they levelled out at a decent altitude. Sakura yawned a few more times to pop her ears back to normal, then shut her eyes tightly and fell into the pillow. The freedom to sleep was a sweet one. She didn’t think she had ever enjoyed closing her eyes so much. She forced them open to see what the situation was. Chindra was reading the sequel to the book she had read the day before. She had been thrilled to find it on sale in the airport bookstore. Tomoyo was sitting back in her chair, observing everyone. And Syaoran, well... Sakura decided not to look over to Syaoran. She shut her eyes again, enjoying the warm feeling she got from shutting them.

She vaguely heard Chindra turn the pages of her book. She heard a faint voice that sounded like Tomoyo discussing something with Chindra. She continued drifting into her sleep. A beep on the plane brought her eyes open. She looked up to see the sign for the seatbelts turned off. Sakura gladly undid her belt, more able to curl up into a ball and sleep. She attempted to coil her legs up under her, but kicked Chindra in the process.

Chindra giggled. “You want to just lay across us?”

Sakura smiled weakly, shaking her head. “Sorry...” She pulled her feet in, got in a good position, then cuddled into the pillow again. She let out a big yawn, smiling as she saw Chindra watch her with amusement, then shut her eyes again.

Tomoyo cursed the airplane world for not letting her use her video camera while in flight. The soft expression Syaoran had just had on his face after seeing Sakura try and curl into her seat was priceless. She sighed in defeat and leaned into the chair, keeping her eyes out on both Syaoran and Sakura. She wasn’t sure what had gone on the night before, but it had been something. Just the fact Sakura got up at three in the morning to go into his room for a half hour was strange in itself. But they had always been strange, and had a strange way of doing things. Tomoyo just hoped she hadn’t missed anything cute. But with those two... yet again... it was bound to be.

She couldn’t decide whether things were better or worse than before. Syaoran didn’t seem so distant somehow. He hadn’t said anything significant all day, sure, but there was something about the way he was carrying himself that showed some kind of remarkable inward change. Something more familiar about him, definitely. Tomoyo glanced over at Sakura. She hadn’t seemed any happier. She had hardly talked, which was understandable with her being so tired, but it was just the way she was staying quiet. She was most definitely hurt by whatever rejection Syaoran had caused her. But there was some type of deep concern rooted in her that was the most prominent. If Tomoyo could have guessed, she would say Sakura wasn’t even depressed about the rejection anymore. It seemed to be all rooted in this deep worry.

The plane bumped along through some clouds. Chindra set down her book, looking worried. Tomoyo smiled reassuringly at her, then looked over to Sakura. She was dead asleep in the most uncomfortable looking position. Tomoyo shook her head and looked back down the aisle. The flight attendents were already bringing down the drinks. Tomoyo caught a glance at Syaoran. It was as she thought. He was probably tired, but whatever had gone on last night was more immediate than sleep. He seemed to be deep into the thought, trying to figure out something very complicated.

“Are they bringing drinks?” Chindra asked, placing her book in her lap.

“Yes,” Tomoyo answered, watching the stewardess slowly make her way to their row. “I don’t think this flight is very long. A couple hours at most.”

“Well that’s good. I hate being on these airplane contraptions...”

Tomoyo smiled. Her thoughts drifted to England. She would be seeing him again. Only she would be seeing him herself, not through the filter he had made. It was a frightening thought. All the letters she had sent him, left unanswered. She wondered what it meant. She wondered if he even felt anything when he thought of her. She wondered if he even bothered to take the letters out of their envelopes before throwing them into a fire. She found herself floating into another memory. She encouraged it on.

“I can’t feel,” Eriol said factually, his cool blue eyes looking calmly back at her. She had heard him say this before. And it never became easier to hear.

Tomoyo let out a long sigh, finding herself drifting into sleep. She forced her eyes to stay open, not wanting to think. She was so tired of having these memories. They weren’t hers. And yet she felt them every bit as much as the other her. She couldn’t let it consume her. She had to remain focussed. Eriol was their enemy, no matter how sad and miserable he might be. She wasn’t in any place to help him. No one was. Tomoyo startled as something touched her arm. She glanced to the aisle. Syaoran was looking at her. She almost smiled. Syaoran, the complete opposite of her Eriol. He looked at her with those wide, uncontrolled eyes, holding a piece of paper out.

“Give that to Sakura,” He muttered, trying to act casual.

Tomoyo smiled graciously and took the paper from him. He sat back in his seat, looking the other way. Tomoyo shook her head as she turned to Sakura. Those two were just too adorable. She reached over Chindra and shook Sakura’s shoulder. Sakura jumped with a start, kicking Chindra hard in the leg and banging her head against the window. She slowly sat up, squinting in pain and rubbing her forehead.

Chindra grabbed her leg, rubbing the red mark already forming.

Sakura smiled sheepishly. “Sorry...” She thought about it and burst out laughing. “I’m such an idiot...”

Tomoyo smiled, shaking her head. Chindra just laughed it off, recovering her book from the floor. Tomoyo handed Sakura the piece of paper, smiling in such a way as to let Sakura know where it came from.

Sakura blinked a few times to wake herself up, then opened the paper.

We should stay somewhere tonight before going to Eriol’s. None of us are ready to face him.

Sakura sighed. She had been hoping for more excitement. But then again, Syaoran making a move to start a conversation like that was a very rare thing. She looked over to Tomoyo. “Do you have a pen?” She asked, her voice a little rusty from being asleep.

Tomoyo nodded, then grabbed one from her purse.

“He wants to stay somewhere tonight before we go to Eriol’s. It’s probably a good idea. I might fall asleep in the middle of it.”

Tomoyo nodded in agreement. “That sounds sensible.”

Sakura took the pen and wrote that sounds sensible. She paused, wanting to write more. She finally snuck a furtive glance at him. He was doing his best to be oblivious. Sakura let out a long sigh, then folded the paper. She handed it to Tomoyo with a smile. Tomoyo passed it back over to Syaoran. He looked at it, then to Sakura’s surprise, wrote more. She was unable to watch him, however, because the flight attendent slowed between them with her big drink tray.

“Anything to drink?” She asked Tomoyo.

“Um... gingerale please.”

The woman nodded, poured it, then looked for more orders.

Chindra shook her head. “Nothing for me, thanks.”

“Some gingerale for me too,” Sakura said, smiling.

The woman finished pouring the rest of the can into the cup and handed the drinks out. Sakura set down the tray in front of her and set her drink down, yawning. The woman turned to Syaoran’s side for orders. Sakura took a long drink, feeling awake as the cold fizzy liquid slid down her throat. She glanced impatiently over to Syaoran’s side. Someone over there ordered alcohol, and she was taking extra long to pour it. Sakura sighed and jittered in her chair habitually.

“How’s the book?” Sakura asked Chindra, looking onto the page.

“Oh... alright,” Chindra answered, shrugging. Sakura smiled in response.

“I wish I would have had a video camera to catch you waking up like that,” Tomoyo said, giggling. Sakura smiled sheepishly, shaking her head.

“I’m really sorry, Chindra. I guess I shouldn’t sleep with my feet on the chair.” Sakura shook her head, laughing. “I just... I dunno. Normally I don’t jump like that when I wake up.”

Tomoyo shrugged. “Oh well. Just a shame it missed the camera.”

Sakura smiled weakly, then snapped to attention as the attendent scooted down to the next row. She tried not to watch Syaoran pass the paper back to Tomoyo. She smiled as she got it and opened it, wondering what else he could possibly say.

We should finish that conversation from last night. You were a little hard to understand.

Sakura chewed on her bottom lip, twirling the pen between her fingers. She paused, then wrote. Well sorry. That dream’s a little disturbing. If you ask me, you’re a little too calm about it. She read over it, thought, then handed it to Tomoyo. She wordlessly handed it over to Syaoran. He read it, sighed, then bent over it with his pen again. After he wrote a few sentences, it was passed back over to Sakura.

I didn’t mean that was a bad thing. You don’t have to assume everything I say is an insult.

Sakura rolled her eyes. Well sorry. It normally is.

Tomoyo passed it over. He wrote. She passed it back.

Please don’t get upset with me. We’re fighting on the same side, remember?

Sakura tapped her fingers on the armrest of the chair for a second. Okay. You’re right. I’m not upset, I’m just an emotional wreck at the moment. So sure, we’ll finish talking about it, though there’s not much to say. I told you how I felt Sakura bit her lip, then scribbled the last part out savagely. She made sure there was no possible way for him to distinguish the lettering, then continued. I told you what the dream was and what I thought you should do. You made a decision.

It passed over. He wrote. It was passed back.

Yes, you told me the basic stuff. But you’ve been hiding this ‘dream’ from me for who knows how long, and seeing as it’s describing my death, I’d say I have a right to have a complete explanation.

Sakura sighed. She hated how he was always right. Okay. When we get into England, if it’s not too horribly late, we can go somewhere to eat. Somewhere not fastfood. She passed it to Tomoyo, who was starting to look a little weary.

Syaoran wrote a quick reply and sent it back over, meeting eyes with Sakura for a moment. She smiled weakly and looked to the paper being passed to her. Alright. She let out a breath, glancing to make sure he wasn’t watching her anymore. He wasn’t. Instead he was leaning on his hand, looking like he was trying to catch up on some sleep.

Sakura smiled, sighed, then sat back. Tomoyo was watching her. Sakura almost handed her the paper to read, but decided Syaoran might be a little offended at her breach of privacy. Sakura looked down in the airplane seat pocket, then looked to Tomoyo. “Do you have a piece of paper?” She asked, crumpling this note and shoving it into her pocket.

Tomoyo smiled happily and handed one to her.

Sakura bent over it. Last night I had that dream again. Except this time it had the ending. So I woke up all upset, went over to his room at like three in the morning and told him I wanted him to go back home and be safe. But he won’t. So he was just saying we need to finish talking about that. She handed it to Tomoyo.

Tomoyo read through, smiling. That made complete sense. I understand. You know he does care about you, don’t you? She handed it over to Sakura. Sakura read it, her pleasant smile fading. She bent over the paper. He doesn’t want to. She responded. She handed it to Tomoyo. Tomoyo glanced over at Syaoran. He had a peaceful look on his face. She smiled and looked back to the paper. Don’t be too sure.

Sakura sighed, reading Tomoyo’s response, then sat back in her seat. She folded that paper and put it into her pocket as well, then looked out the window.

“Everyone but me is sharing secrets,” Chindra said in a bored voice, eyes still reading her book.

Sakura laughed. “I’m sure Tomoyo will fill you in.”

Chindra looked up from her book, a mischevious grin on her face. “Oh, don’t worry. She will.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well this is disconcerting. I can’t remember the last time I finished a chapter in the daytime. It’s weird. It’s like... I finished a chapter, now I should be going to sleep. But no, on the contrary, the relatives are forcing me into going swimming and playing songs for them on various musical instruments. How odd....

Anyways, I couldn’t find a good place to end this chapter. There seemed as good a place as any. If I would have gone on to them getting England and blah blah, it would have been the world’s longest chapter. We just couldn’t have that. But....yes. I’ve written four chapters since I’ve been on vacation. Simply unbelievable. I amaze even myself. But every chapter gets closer to the end! ahh!

So Sakura got to feel rejection here. Kind of sad, though I mean, come on, we did see it coming, right? Anyways, the next chapter is going to be interesting to write.... lots of debating between me and the editor about how things should go... I still don’t know! I suppose I’ll just start writing it and see how it goes from there. Anyways, I am going to go read a book by the poolside for a while. The book is ‘A Meeting of the Minds’ by Carol Matas and Perry Nodelman. It’s the fourth in this series... the first one’s called ‘Of Two Minds’.... they’re really good! About a princess and prince and such things. Except the prince is nothing like Syaoran... more of a pansy that’s just a nice guy. I enjoy it. Ha! My aunt just ambushed my parents in the pool. That was a funny thing to witness through the window. Anywho, long author’s note (no kids to relate to out here!), gotta go.

Comments! [email protected] or SyaoranChic on yahoo/aol

RyOhki816 Thanks for your continued patience, I still can’t reply to you! I really do read and appreciate your emails though!

-The world’s most devoted and obsessed author... or at least... pretty close to it - SyaoranFan4Life