RECAP: Boy last chapter was exciting! Let’s see...Sakura and Syaoran shared some moments, um...Sakura left for Japan....Well that’s all you need to remember really.

Chapter 40 - Things Are So Unfair

"I love soccer season." Yundi said, drooling at the girls off in the distance, the cheerleaders, all who were wearing their shorts a little too short. The wind on the field made it difficult for them to stay modest, not that that was a main priority of theirs.

Syaoran glanced up from his shin where he had been adjusting the shin gaurd and saw Yundi’s direction of veiw, then looked back down. He grinned to himself. They’re going to be mortified if their skirt catches an updraft. The large flat field had a strong breeze blowing through, causing anyone’s clothes to blow around.

Syaoran went more sullen as he thought about the cheerleaders at his old school. It’s not the end of the world. You’ll see each other again. Her actions hinted to that, anyway. Syaoran grinned even more, remembering that odd encounter in the airport. Sakura definitely beat Alexis’s kissing skills ten to one.

"You old dog, which one are you fantasizing about?" Yundi asked, clapping Syaoran on the shoulder as he stood up, his cleats on.

Syaoran wiped the dreamy look off his face and ignored the question, looking towards the coach to see their instructions. He was calling everyone over, so Syaoran walked against the wind a small distance beside Yundi. But she wouldn’t listen to me. Why wouldn’t she listen to me? If she was willing to do..that, then why is she so hesitant to hear me out? I just want the peace of mind to know she understands that this is more than just an infactuation.

"...laps, then we’ll have a scrimmage...." The coach went on.

Syaoan mechanically followed after the other teamates, running beside the lead and easily holding that position. After the fourth round of the soccer field, he got the jersey color assigned and headed to the center.

"Li-san, do kick off." One of the defensive players on his team called.

Syaoran took the duty easily and stood against Ryoto. When the whistle blew he started, feinting one direction or the other, and easily manuevering down the length of the field. The defense got some alright blocks in, but soon Syaoran sent a far away shot blitzing into the goal.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

After his team’s steaming defeat, Syaoran wandered through the locker room and got changed, then went outside, walking alone. The wind felt good, a great break from the still persisting summer, and he breathed it in deeply, relaxing. He had alot to think about, and could use some time with himself to discuss it.

"Li-kun!" A breathless and wispy voice called after him.

Syaoran was a little annoyed for someone to bother him as he was walking away from the school, but he turned anyway. His eyes narrowed slightly as he saw it was Mandu, who was holding her hair against the wind with one hand and a closed umbrella in the other (for the wind was bringing in a storm). She slowed to a stop in front of him and smiled, fluttering her eye lashes. "You looked great out there," She said, her voice at the heigth of its wispyness. "Your soccer skills are amazing."

Syaoran glared at her with annoyance. It was hard not to notice that she had to hold her short skirt to her thighs with her arms, or that she was twirling her finger around the bottom of the plaited cloth flirtatiously. "Thanks." He mumbled gruffly, not sure of what else to say. She stayed in front of him after, as if hesitating. Syaoran looked off in the distance with boredom, but stayed still out of courtesy.

"Why do you keep ignoring me?" She asked after a while, sighing as she spoke.

Syaoran was about to reply he didn’t feel one way or the other, but he saw Teller in the distance. "Hi, Mandu!" He shouted, his voice going downwind. Syaoran looked to Mandu to see that she had flushed with anger, looking hard at the ground.

Syaoran had no trouble seeing the girl for her shallow value. Had he been a few years younger, he may have insulted her deepest pride, but years with Sakura and speculation about real maturity differed him. "He’s a good guy, you won’t find anyone else so devoted. Maybe you should look past the surface, you might actually like him."

Mandu, when so stormily angry, did not look so lady like. She was inwardly fuming with Syaoran’s advice, but he didn’t care to stay back and listen. Instead, he turned and walked away, leaving her to think. He hoped she would consider some of what he said, for Teller’s sake.

Syaoran looked at the ground in front of him as he walked. When he saw girls like Mandu and her friends, it reminded him how much he preferred Sakura. Sure, she could be dense, painfully so sometimes, but her depth was unmeasureable, and she was always looking to better herself. Syaoran regretted he seemed to bring out her prideful stubborn side, but even that had its strengths, as she would always realize her errors in the end. He sighed and kicked some pebbles, sending dust into the wind. He truly missed her.

____________________________________________________________________

"Maybe he hasn’t paid his phone bill," Kero suggested.

Sakura set the phone down with frustration. Getting a hold of Eriol was very tough nowdays. How was she supposed to find him? Sakura had checked the number on the internet, and it was correct. Why, then, did the operator tell her it was disconnected? "That’s the last of Syaoran’s ideas. How else am I supposed to figure out all of this card stuff? I need Eriol’s help."

She couldn’t help but sigh to herself. It did seem he was avoiding her. And maybe he was. And, if Chindra’s theory was correct, he was hiding with good reason. He was causing all of this chaos against her, why would he want to converse with her? She chewed on her lip. She really had to get a hold of him and figure out what was going on. "The stupid cards don’t even hold to the second seal I put on them, Kero." She complained.

Kero sighed. "I don’t know what to tell you. We need some help." Kero noticed the wistful gaze she had and darkened. "But that kid can’t even begin to point us in the right direction."

Sakura sighed and looked away, glancing at Bob. He was still sitting on the windowpane, looking tired and distraught as he looked out the window. He had been like this since she’d gotten back. Quiet, serious, only smiling now and then to give her compliments, then going back into his trance. It was almost as if he knew something was coming, too. Sakura laid back on her bed.

"This is just all so unfair," She whined.

Touya peered into the room, opening the door so quickly that Kero narrowly reached the bed in time to freeze. "Are you talking to me, squirt?" He asked.

Sakura couldn’t help but feel hurt by her brother’s constant suspicious tone. Something was different about him, and had been, since all of this card stuff had arrived. "No, just to my butterfly." She answered.

Touya cast a glance at the stationary butterfly, then, shaking his head, he turned and left her to herself.

She looked around. Kero was now lazing about, releived about evading discovery for another day. She set her feet on the floor and walked over to her desk, sitting down on the wood chair and taking a sheet of paper from the drawer. She quickly began writing.

Dear Eriol-

She sat up from where she’d been bent over the paper. That’s good. I didn’t have to mention anything about the Clow Reed being a bad guy thing, so he won’t get defensive yet. I’d much prefer to speak to him about that subject. She folded the paper and slid it in an envelope, then set the addressed package on the desk to put out for the mail in the morning.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

The next trimester had started, and Sakura found herself facing Mark on a daily basis. She dealt with it quite well, though, and he seemed to have gotten over bullying her. She had no doubt there was still alot of remorse in him, but she didn’t dare confront him of it, no matter how well her judo classes were going.

Tomoyo seemed slightly different than she had been when Sakura left. More cautious, she guessed. It seemed to her like there was alot of talk between her and Kero lately, and she had no doubt it was about her own well-being. That annoyed her, as she thought she knew best for herself, and their insistence about Syaoran and other such matters were digging like splinters in her skin. She knew better than to take it to heart, now, her feelings held strong.

"Have you finished up the math homework?" Tomoyo asked.

Sakura nodded, clutching her books to her chest as they walked down the hall. "I still don’t know if I understand it." She admitted.

Tomoyo smiled. "I’ll help you after school if you’d like."

"I’m going to see Moondust. Maybe after that." She agreed. They went into the english room together, sitting down quietly.

The unusual silence between them seemed to grow. Sakura didn’t really notice it, as her mind kept itself so preoccupied with controversies. She continued to have that same dream, and always she was unable to answer him, as the arrow pulled tight reminded her of the fate she would force him through if she chose that path.

"Sakura-chan, are you alright?" Tomoyo questioned, interrupting the silence Sakura had been basking in.

Sakura blinked, slightly startled to hear a voice breaking in. "Yes, why do you ask?"

"You aren’t yourself." Tomoyo said, looking down, her greyish-violet eyes sorrowful. "You’re never this caught up in yourself." She said, trying to elaborate.

Sakura looked down at the shiny desk in front of her. Did she really want to say this? "I miss him, Tomoyo. I know what you’re going to say, so don’t. I don’t care how bad of a person you and Kero and Touya all say he is, to me he’s everything..." Her voice lost momentum.

Tomoyo drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly, her way of announcing she didn’t agree and was going to try and explain something difficult. "Sakura, you should know. I’m sure Syaoran isn’t a bad person deep down, but he’s just not right for you. Do you see it? Fate is set against you. You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed that it seems so much doesn’t want you together."

Sakura looked warily at the english teacher coming in. She had to continue this conversation. But the teacher was already quieting the class, and Sakura was forced to stop. Tomoyo gave her a worried look to let her know she didn’t want Sakura feeling bad about what she had just said. Sakura set her jaw and frowned ahead. She was terrified of the idea of having something as large as destiny itself set against her wishes. But then, that wasn’t as bad as the other alternative. I’ll be defying fate, then. She agreed to herself. Now just how would she get around the limits of her dream....?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You’ve totally failed. Only our magic stands in front of her, and will quickly be diminished through her will."

Sakura rolled over, unconsciously shaking her head. She didn’t understand. But these voices were so fimiliar...

_____________________________________________________________________

"Have you heard from Sakura?" Rana asked Syaoran one night as they washed up the dishes.

"No." He muttered. There was no worries in his mind, however, and he felt that she was safe where she was for now.

"Have you figured out your feelings?" She asked.

Syaoran was annoyed with her bluntness and considered walking away, but did not see a reason to hide any longer. He had been willing to admit it to himself and her, why not his sister? "Yes." He confessed.

"I hope those feelings are good." She said casually, towelling off a plate. "She’d be great to have as a sister-in-law."

Syaoran coughed. He was about to shout some reprimand or hurl an insult to mark his exit, but something in his attitude was changing. "That’s too far away to judge." He muttered, slightly terrified of the idea.

"Syaoran, you’re going to the hospital, right?" Tyung asked, walking in and twirling the car keys around her finger.

Syaoran nodded and set the last of his dishes for Rana to dry. "Yeah, hang on a second." He said, hurrying away up the stairs.

Once in his room Syaoran sought out the book with the crystal similar to Sakura’s necklace. Once he found that, he then hurried down the stairs to meet Tyung and leave.

The two of them, quiet by nature, said very little the ride there. Tyung took out her cell phone and called some guy she had apparently been talking with for a while, but she still sounded like the same pessimistic, people-hating sister Syaoran admired. She seemed to hang up before ever replying goodbye, her voice always low and serious. Syaoran wondered why the other three of his sisters were so different.

They walked through the halls of the hospital and slowed in front of the elevator. There were still people working on it, apparently, and several signs were up. A man in a janitorial suit noticed them looking and gave a weary smile. "Sorry, folks, this one’s still out of order."

"Are the back up generators still not working?" Syaoran asked.

The man looked slightly surprised that Syaoran knew the inner details of the problem, but only showed it with his facial expression. "That’s right. We’re not sure what the problem is, but..."

"What happens if a storm comes and knocks out primary power?" Tyung asked, her dark brown eyes hot.

"Then, ah, then the...I’m not really sure, miss. These are the only backups we got, but..."

Tyung looked dark. "You should fix it, then." She muttered.

The janitor slowly noticed, then watched the two leave with bewilderment.

Syaoran followed Tyung up the stairs, thinking to himself. There’s so much electricity in the hospital. It’s hard to beleive that they can’t get something this simple fixed. They walked down the hall his mother’s room was in and walked quietly into her room. Yelin was sitting up slightly in her bed, a glazed look in her eyes as she looked out the window. She turned as she heard their footsteps, then smiled.

"Tyung, Syaoran, how are you?" She asked.

"We’re fine, oka-san, but how are you?" Tyung asked.

She smiled warily. "As fine as one can be in such a boring place." She chuckled, though the two surveyers could easily hear the deep sound in her chest that should not have accompanied it.

Syaoran decided it would be wrong to treat her with despair, she didn’t need that. "Raion is finally straightening out." He said.

Yelin smiled, though it seemed her eyes disappeared in the effort. "That’s wonderful, my son, your father would be horribly proud."

Syaoran tried to keep his light expression. "I’m sure he would." Syaoran mumbled, though it pained him to say it.

After a little of silence, Tyung tried to catch her mother’s drifting attention. "The Kinomoto girl went home." She announced.

Syaoran gaver her a scowl.

"Has she learned anything more?" His mother asked. Syaoran sighed inwardly. Only his mother seemed to care of their card situation.

He brought up the book from his side. "I wanted you to look at this." He said, flipping quickly to the page with the crystals and cards. He found it and put his finger on the picture. "That, there, what signifigance has it?"

His mother squinted at the picture and he put it closer in front of her. She read over it a couple times, frowning as she tried to keep her concentration. She sat back on her bed, exhausted from the work. "I have seen this crystal once before. A sorceress, one from far away, had supposedly come here seeking vengence for her broken heart. Her power was within magic crystals, identical to this one here."

Tyung sighed and looked around, feeling out of place. "I’ll leave you two to yourselves." She mumbled. Neither of them even acknowledged her words, so she continued out of the room.

"Then Clow Reed did know her?" He asked, his voice gaining momentum with enthusiasm.

"Oh, I don’t know about that, little wolf. It was only a story, after all, and was likely distorted during it’s pass down."

Syaoran shook his head. "I’ve seen this crystal in real life, Sakura wears it as a necklace." He looked up to his mother. "The woman wasn’t Egyptian, was she?"

"Legend does not say." His mother said after a pause of thinking.

"I think that’s what Chindra was, anyway," He muttered to himself. He looked up, his eyes burning. "So there is truth to this story Sakura had. Do you know what kind of properties the crystal has? Sakura’s had it for a long while now, but it hasn’t done anything strange or unusual."

"Are you sure your paranoia isn’t driving you to this conclusion?"

"Positive. They’re identical." He confirmed, looking grave to convince his mother he was sincere.

"So the cherry blossom holds the crystal..." She muttered to herself. Her eyes blinked, and they held shut so long Syaoran had thought she had fallen asleep, but she soon looked at him. "Sometimes when magic has been laying dormant for such a length of time, it is not easily detected, nor easily aroused. She may be handling a very dangerous tool, and it may also bring her much needed help. I am not sure." She blinked again, looking very tired.

Syaoran sighed. "Don’t let me keep you awake." He said, his eyes softening with pain and sympathy.

"Syaoran, please listen closely to me. I do not wish to burden you so, but I’m afraid I must.

"This thick plot of lies in magic is important, more so than you could understand, than the elder’s understand. It may be the reason that...Enough of that. You must get to the bottom of all of this, I am sure the whole world would appreciate your favor.

"You must know that my illness is odd, but I do not think that is what it is, either- not what is commonly called ‘ill’. I thought fate had enough of me on my way to recovery, but alas you left and it struck me harder. Fate is holding strong against you and the Card Mistress, my son, but I feel it is imperative that you don’t let it stop you. This shadow has been clouding my dreams for some time now, and as I try harder and harder to find the details of it, the more this illness seems to come upon me."

She took a deep breath, then let it out shakily. Her eyes opened, though she now looked exhausted. "You must take care of your sisters, Syaoran, you are raising them more than you think."

Syaoran had to swallow, and hard, because it seemed it was closing in. "Why are you talking like this, mother? You are fine, the doctors-"

"The doctor’s don’t have any clue what is wrong with me. But for the unrelated...symptoms that I’m having, I’m am apparently quite healthy."

Syaoran frowned hard, then looked at the floor, swallowing again. He could almost remember how the stinging felt at the corner of his eyes, how much his eyes seemed to weigh. But that was the past, and he would not shame himself by that display of emotions any longer. He looked up at her, clenching his teeth before speaking. "You’re not going to-"

"Hello Tyung, please join our chat." His mother said, smiling warmly at his sister, who had just entered the room.

Tyung was quick and perceptive, and immediatly felt the vibes of the room, but knew she would get it out of her little brother on the way home, so she only sat down in the chair next to his mother’s bed. "What’s the topic?"

"You, my darling! You spend too much time occupying your minds with worry for me, I’m sure, so please put it aside and tell me about what you have done this past week. How is your job going?"

Tyung looked unsurely at her mother, then figured it was for the best. Though she wasn’t a naturally talkative person, she detailed all the little things that had happened that week for the sake of her mother’s smiles and nods.

Syaoran sat down in the soft chair, spacing out of his mother and sister’s conversation. Her words did burden him, more than she could understand. Why was she talking like she was on her death bed? She doesn’t know her future. She’ll probably be fine, she’s just worried, that’s all. But a little voice inside Syaoran’s head agreed with her. Why had she been sick this long anyway, and without undergoing any major treatment? She’s going to get better. And Sakura and I will defeat these cards.

After saying their goodbyes, Yelin seemed to fall right asleep. Syaoran and Tyung both held worried expressions as they walked out of the hospital.

"So what did she say to you?" Tyung asked.

"Nothing." Syaoran mumbled, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Don’t lie. I know she tells you more. Probably just cause you’re the son."

Syaoran sighed. "You won’t tell Rana and the others?" He asked, walking around to the passenger’s side and opening it, settling into the sport’s car seat.

"Of course I wouldn’t, what do you take me for? They need to come here for themselves lazy bums."

Syaoran wasn’t totally convinced, but he sighed grimly and spoke. "She talks about a shadow in her mind. I think she thinks she’s going to die." He answered.

Tyung scoffed as she flicked the turn signal on and turned onto the main highway. "Nonsense. Anyone who’s been in that hospital for that long would want death, let alone ponder about it."

Syaoran looked out the window, his eyes sad and his face solemn. "She truly beleives it. You didn’t see her face."

Tyung’s expression changed to one of worry as they conjoined onto the expressday to get them home quickly. "I don’t know about it. Don’t worry, Syaoran, I don’t think anything’s going to happen for a long time."

Syaoran sighed. "But she acted as if she was helping me prepare. She wouldn’t say anything unless she had a reason behind it."

"You’re saying she doesn’t think you could handle her dying suddenly?" Tyung guessed.

"Don’t talk that way!" Syaoran said with fury. It was one thing to be considering his mother’s odd forewarning, another to accept it as truth and discuss it as a psychological matter.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that." She was quiet as she turned the car into the driveway and parked it. She turned off the engine but didn’t get out. She only hung her head and looked forward. Finally she turned and met Syaoran’s eyes. "You really think she was being truthful?" Tyung asked.

Syaoran nodded, looking uncomfortably back. He could see the tears starting to well up in her, and inwardly, he longed to let them out as well.

"I can’t bear thinking of losing her too!" She sat back in her chair, taking shakey breaths as she sloppily swatted the tears from the bottom of her eyes. "But..." She said, quickly trying to regain her composure. "People say many things after so much time of contemplating alone." Her voice was slightly broken, but she was able to get right back to her old, closed self, hardly even showing she had shed a tear. "Mother is still fine, and there’s no reason to act like this is for certain." She opened her car door and got out. "She was probably just pulling our chain." She continued on, going to the front door.

Syaoran quietly followed her. He knew Tyung did not beleive one word that came out of her mouth. She only spoke this much with nervous tension or apprehension. Inwardly she knew her mother would never lie or joke about such matters.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Syaoran pushed Meilin off him for the eighteenth time that afternoon. It had been her brilliant idea to hang out after the varsity’s soccer practice. So now Syaoran was pushing his pool chair even further from her. Mandu had come along, but was highly annoyed to find Alexis, the inferior foreign girl, was allowed to come too. Through Syaoran’s misery, Yundi, Jin, and Ryoto were having the time of their lives. They had gotten a kick out of poor Teller’s near tears experience as he was told by his cruel sister that only skilled varsity team members could come along, while Teller, though great for soccer at his age, was stuck on the JV team.

"So Syaoran, what exactly do you do when you have to meet my step-dad so early in the morning for sword training?" Alexis asked.

Syaoran hated her placing him in the center of attention. "I train with a sword." He muttered.

Meilin rolled her eyes, then looked to the group, ready to answer for him. "Much more complicated than that." She said. "First they do warm up stuff, which that alone would kill a person. Then he has to dual sometimes, sometimes he learns new stuff, and then they add magic to the equation to make it even harder." She explained.

Syaoran grit his teeth. He wished Meilin could keep her mouth shut sometimes.

"And you have karate and combat training as well?" Mandu asked.

Syaoran glared across the table with a nod.

"That’s amazing," She said, smiling wistfully, "I couldn’t imagine doing so much strenuous training. It must be terribly demanding."

Alexis grinned, her eyes dancing. "At least it keeps him in shape." She pinched his arm for emphasis and Syaoran scooted over in return.

Yundi made a coughing noise. Once he had everyone looking at him, he looked back innocently. "What, oh, no, don’t let me interrupt your conversation about Syaoran and all his wonderful deeds. I mean, go right ahead, he deserves all of this attention."

"You want us to talk about that awful defense play you did today instead?" Alexis asked, flicking her straw wrapper at him.

He put his hand to his heart and pretended to wipe a tear away. "That went deep."

"How’s your horse, Alexis?" Ryoto asked her, an unreadable smile on his face.

"Just fine," She answered defensively.

"I’m still waiting to go on that trailride with you," Jin chimed in.

Alexis glared at him, unperturbed. "I’ll remember that next time I go deer hunting."

Mandu was shifting in her seat with annoyance, hating all the attention being on that ‘stupid foreign girl’. "You do horseback training, too?"Mandu asked Syaoran, breaking out of the other conversation/arguement.

Syaoran looked back to her from the fight and nodded. This only made Mandu more upset, she she was trying to spur up conversation with him. She never had to make the moves, why was this boy being so difficult? Was he that blind to the signs in front of him?

Mandu stood up, not tolerating the foreign girl’s antics any longer. Everyone looked at her expectantly. "I’ve got to get home." She announced, blinking an unusual amount as she did to try and get people to notice her eyes. "I have all that math homework, which I still don’t understand-" She casts a hopeful glance at Syaoran- "So I’ll see you later." She said, not wanting to say ‘you all’, for that would include that Alexis girl, and she hoped she wouldn’t see her again.

When Yundi, Ryoto, Jin, and Meilin responded, she flipped her hair over her shoulders with annoyance and walked away. That boy was so stubborn.

Yundi watched her leave, making sure the door shut before looking back eagerly to the table. "Man, she has it for you, Syaoran!"

Ryoto laughed. "Better get after her before her little infactuation ends."

"She liked him when we were in third grade, remember? Just before he left to Japan? And she pretended to get stuck on the monkey bars at the playground and Syaoran had to get her down!" Jin said.

Meilin grinned. "I forgot about that." Her look darkened as she remembered screaming at the girl to stay away from her fiance.

"She doesn’t know anything about me." Syaoran muttered.

"All the better!" Yundi said.

"Yeah, then there’s no guilt in it. It’s just a mutual relationship where you both can get the fun out of it, then it’s over. No hard feelings." Jin explained.

Alexis leaned her elbow on Syaoran’s shoulder. "I’m glad not all guys are as shallow as you are, Jin."

Syaoran leaned away from her.

Meilin sighed heavily. "Yes, if only more guys could be like Li Syaoran." She agreed.

Yundi, Ryoto, and Jin only looked darkly back. These girls were helpless.

"I’m beginning to not enjoy going places with you Syaoran. I enjoyed all the hot girls around, but it seems impossible to get their attention off of you." Yundi said, a yearning gleam in his eye.

Syaoran let out a short breath and stood up. "I didn’t ask for all this attention, alright!? Like it’s my fault girls won’t leave me alone! I’d be okay with it if none of them ever spoke to me again!" With that he stalked off, leaving everyone with bewilderment.

"What was that about?" Ryoto asked after a long pause.

Yundi shook his head. "There’s something wrong with that guy. Maybe he’s actually gay." He shuddered with repulsion. "No, it’s more like he’s neutral. Like a robot. Maybe that’s it, he’s a neutral thing, like a fixed cat or something."

"No..." Meilin said, shaking her head as she watched the door shut behind her cousin’s abrupt exit. "He’s in love."

Yundi frowned. "With who?"

"Sakura." Alexis answered, smiling as Meilin looked at her with suprise.

"Oh, that cool chick that was at the pool?" Yundi asked.

"Yeah, the one you harassed." Alexis confirmed dryly.

"She was alright but...why would he go for someone like her?" Jin asked.

Meilin shrugged, twirling her straw around in her tall glass of soda. "He thinks she has ‘depth’ or something. I dunno, don’t ask me."

After a long silence, Yundi said, "Well, does that mean he can’t have fun anymore?"

"Well, I mean he could if he wanted to, but... he doesn’t." Meilin answered simply.

Yundi shook his head, remorse and empathy for his friend that had gotten caught prisoner in this cruel state of being. "That’s just horrible."

_____________________________________________________________________

Sakura withstood another of Mark’s verbal badgerings as she went through the lunch line, and found that he and his friends were sitting near where she usually sat in the cafeteria, so she decided to go eat outside. She walked outside and found a nice bench to sit on, one under the shade of a tree. The leaves on the trees were just beginning to turn, and it looked as if flames were pulsing through the roots of the tree and splashing their colors on from inside.

I like fall. Sakura decided, leaning back and taking a bite out of her sandwhich. The air is clearer, and there’s no more of that unbearable heat. But who knows how much I’ll get to enjoy it, if these cards keep ganging up on me. She thought of how Syaoran was apprehensive of letting her fight the cards by herself. He knew they were dangerous, and he didn’t want her to go out by herself to try and conquer it all. What troubled her the greatest was that Syaoran probably had more faith in her than she did herself, and if he doubted her... I shouldn’t think about it unless I have to. It’s no use trying to prepare myself for another card attack, they demand on the spot decisions.

"Sakura-chan, there you are!" Tomoyo said, soundingy slightly breathless as she sat down on the bench beside her. "I thought you might want to eat outside, the weather’s so wonderful out."

Sakura nodded. "Yeah, the leaves’ll start to fall soon."

Tomoyo smiled. They were both quiet for a little while, then Tomoyo spoke again. "So are you going to ride Moondust tonight?" She asked, forking out some of the noodles off her plate and looking at Sakura for an answer.

Sakura smiled. "Probably. She’s a totally different animal, now that she trusts me."

"I’ll bring my camera, then. Maybe Kero can come, we can do some more aerial shots."

Sakura smiled warily. "I guess."

"So has Eriol answered you back?" Tomoyo asked.

Sakura shrugged. "He probably hasn’t even gotten the letter yet." She reasoned. But part of her doubted that. Maybe he was set on avoiding her. In that case, what could she do? She needed some kind of help, and it seemed Eriol was the only person left.

"Komai called my house last night. I wasn’t home, though, too bad."

"Oh that stinks. Did he leave a message?" Sakura asked.

"Only that he says hi to us and Meilin."

Sakura grinned. Meilin had been so thrilled when she had told her about Komai’s message. "I wonder if we’ll ever get to see them again..." Sakura said, half to herself.

"I hope so. They were all just so nice. And I finally got to make use of all my recording equipment. I think they were surprised to see how well their recordings came out."

Sakura nodded, half in interest, half realizing Syaoran had gotten out of playing guitar for her while they had been in Hong Kong. How had she let that slip by? She listened to Tomoyo chat on about different studio techniques absently, her thoughts more drifting towards the south west. She could keep herself entertained for hours thinking about what he could be doing at the very moment, knowing that his life was much more exciting than her own. Except for my little battles with the cards.

"Hey Sakura-chan, Tomoyo-chan, can we sit with you?" Asked Rika, who was followed by Tamazaki, Chihura, Trent, and Naoko.

"Sure!" Sakura agreed brightly, moving over so one more person could sit on the bench.

"Do you guys have art this trimester?" Chihura asked.

Sakura shook her head. "I’ve got it next trimester. Is it a good class?"

"The teacher’s crazy. She’s like ms. queen of insults. Drives me nuts."

"I think she’s funny." Tamazaki said, looking innocently back at the glare Chihura was giving him.

"She’s alright sometimes." Naoko agreed. "We were both reading the same novel, so I guess that put us on the good foot."

"She called me a moron when I was trying to reclaim my clay." Chihura grumbled.

"That’s only because you made the sink a clay soup. She said right off not to wash away all of the clay with water."

Chihura opened her mouth to retort, but she couldn’t think of anything good, so she backhanded him across the shoulder and glared the opposite direction.

Sakura grinned to herself, though this made her feel more empty than ever. She had never noticed how deep Chihura and Tamakazi’s friendship must go, why did she see it now?

"Hey Sakura..." Rika said, looking hesitant to talk. Sakura couldn’t help but notice the change to anxiety the the rest of them had. "Y-you and Li-kun aren’t related, are you?"

Sakura frowned. "Syaoran? No, not at all."

Rika let out a releived sigh, as did Chihura and Naoko. "Phew. Then the rest of it probably isn’t true either."

"What?" Sakura asked, confused.

"Um.." Chihura started, "Mark’s been saying stuff. About you, and Syaoran..."

Sakura fumed. "Like what did he say?" She demanded.

"Just that...that you and Syaoran were closely related, and that, well, you can guess the rest."

Sakura couldn’t, but she guessed the basic principal. "I hate him! Why won’t he just leave me alone!?"

"May I give some input?" Tamakazi asked. When there was no objections, he continued. "From a man’s perspective (Chihura rolls her eyes), it seems to me he’s holding an awful lot of remorse against you, Kinomoto-san. You haven’t hurt his pride in any way, have you?"

Sakura squirmed. "N-no." She said as earnestly as she could.

Tamakazi was in thought for a moment before going on. "Maybe it’s still hanging in from the New Year’s party. He might have found out you were in on the sabotaging."

Sakura smiled grimly. "Yeah, I guess." She darkened again. "But it’s not fair. Can’t he be mature enough to keep from spreading stupid rumors?" She hoped this wasn’t hurting Syaoran’s reputation too, she didn’t want to let that happen. She would have to fight back for both of them. "Well what should I do? I don’t want everyone thinking I’m a bad person!"

"You could be immature and retaliate, or you could ignore it and make him even more upset." Chihura said.

Ignoring him sounded like the better choice; the easiest, at least. "Fine. I’ll pretend like I don’t care." Sakura announced.

"I’m sure it’ll boil over quickly, Sakura-chan." Tomoyo said, smiling sympathetically.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Alright. So I’ll send a blast of fire at you, and you set up the shield, ‘kay?" Keroberus asked Sakura.

She nodded. "Sure."

They were working on reacting shields. It was some type of complex shield spell that Kero had been trying to teach her all evening, and now, at dusk, totally exhausted from the workout, she felt she might have a handle on it. The spell was supposed to make a shield that would not only defend, but also fight back in a small way as it would stay the opposite element of the attacker. So, at the present time, she had to make a shield with water properties.

She fixed her feet on the uneven ground of Moondust’s pasture and held out her staff, signalling that she was ready. Kero waited a second to make sure, then opened his ferocious mouth to start collecting the fire.

Sakura moved her staff into position. "Mamoru to mizu o yaru!" The blue tinted shield came up around her like a bubble, and just in time, as Kero’s fire bore down hard. The water repelled the fire and sizzled as it damaged some of the attack. Sakura smiled with triumph. Though it had been a pretty weak shield, it had done what she had wanted it to.

"Great job, Sakura!" Kero said, flying over and sending dust into the air as he brought his large wings down.

"That was wonderful! That will be so useful in your next battle!" Tomoyo said, hurrying over with her camera in hand.

Sakura smiled warily. "I guess so." She agreed. She looked over to where Moondust was standing and then back to them. "I’m going to ride for a second, then we can get home."

Tomoyo and Keroberus nodded in agreement.

Sakura hurried over to Moondust’s side where the horse stood quietly, waiting for her, and grabbed some mane. She was able to spring up now, and half clambered into place. She adjusted herself once she was up and got a good handle on Moon’s mane before tightening her upper legs to the horse and letting her go.

Moondust didn’t need to be steered anymore, and if she did, Sakura didn’t know how to without reins. The horse only moved herself away from Tomoyo and Kero to head for the woods that were enclosed in the pasture. Amongst the trees, Sakura leaned down by her neck to keep from hitting any low branches. I can see why Syaoran would have loved this horse so much. She’s so smooth, so compliant, now anyway. But Raion, that horse is amazing. Maybe someday Moondust and him will hook up.

Moondust slowed to a stop at the start of the field’s clearing. Sakura frowned at the horse’s decision, but looked around anyway, looking for the purpose of the stop. There was only Tomoyo and Keroberus in the distance, talking. But wait... Sakura squinted to look harder at Tomoyo and Kero. They both were talking gravely serious, Sakura could see that all the way from where she watched. But Tomoyo looked different, somehow- not quiet herself- though there was nothing to point out that was odd. Sakura frowned and chewed on her lip, but Moondust didn’t let her ponder it anymore, as she was already trotting towards them.

Tomoyo and Kero both looked up at her approach. Tomoyo smiled. "You two look wonderful. We’ve got to do another horseback movie."

Sakura sighed. "Yes, sometime." She said dryly.

Sakura slid off Moondust’s back and patted her neck, then looked to the other two. "I wanna get home. I was going to see if I can find anything about Aruka’s family on the internet."

"Good idea." Tomoyo agreed, starting to walk towards the road with Sakura.

Kero paused to transform, then fluttered over to Sakura’s shoulder.

"You were awfully mean about not letting Bob come." Sakura said to Kero.

"Yeah, well... remember the locust incident? Remember all those creepy bugs crawling on your window?"

Sakura shuddered as she remembered seeing the black cloud of bugs, later to find out that it had all been bugs. Kero was right, that was gross. But Bob didn’t deserve all this poor treatment. But, come to think of it, he had been very quiet and solemn lately. He claimed to know nothing about the cards business, but contradicted himself by saying when he felt another card coming on. "I think Bob learned his lesson that time, too." She replied.

- - - - - - -

"I’ve got to go with the university on a dig next week, will you two be alright at home?" Sakura’s father asked once they were all seated at the table.

Touya shrugged. "That’s fine with me. How long will you be gone?"

"A day or so, no more than two." He glanced at Sakura, who was being unusually silent. "Will you be alright, Sakura-chan?"

She looked up, startled. "Oh, uh, yeah. We’ll be fine, otto-san, you worry about the dig."

Her father wasn’t convinced with her smile, and exchanged glances with Touya to say so. Touya took the hint and addressed Sakura.

"So, squirt, how’s life as a high schooler?" He asked.

Sakura looked up from her plate. "Well, my math teacher is kind of confusing, and I hear the art teacher will be interesting, but I like the rest well enough." She answered.

"Geometry was never my strong point, either."

"But, otto-san, you got straight A’s through school." Sakura said, baffled.

Her father chuckled and shrugged. "Yes, well, let’s just say it was my least favorite in the math courses." He looked to Touya, consoled that his daughter was not troubled, only changing. "How is college going, Touya-san?"

Touya shrugged. "You know college. By the time you understand one professor, they’re off on some other plane."

"Are you two planning to go to the festival down at the shrine?"

"No, I’ve got to work," Touya said.

Sakura shook her head as well. "I’ve got judo class."

"That’s right, I forgot. How is that going, anyway?"

"I think I’m going to get tested for my yellow belt," Sakura said, her prideful voice showing her feeling of self acheivement.

"I better watch out, you’ll be challenging me to spar." Touya said dryly.

Sakura glared. She wanted to add that she knew bits and peices of many other fighting styles doing as much battling as she did, but she held her tongue. "No, I don’t want to hurt you, onni-chan." She said grumbling.

"Yes, I’m afraid the lower levels have a large lack of self control. It’s a shame; it’s no fun sparring with an opponent of whom you have to watch out for as well as yourself."

Sakura made fists with her hands under the table but said nothing, as her father was watching them fight with a twinkling eye.

Sakura finished the rest of her food quietly, thinking over what she had seen on the internet. There was nothing about Aruka except headlines about previous murders she had committed, or that bystanders had sworn they had seen her use magic. That at least confirmed the fact that Chindra’s family did use magic as well. She had cried when she found newspapers titled about her mother’s death, all of which had said her death was connected to Aruka. From there, Sakura couldn’t find anything about the old ghost, nor anything about an earlier fued between her family and Chindra’s.

After she was finished, she got to her feet and smiled. "May I be excused?"

No one protested, so Sakura headed up to her room, making sure she kept Kero’s food well hidden in her pockets.

Sakura opened the door and let herself in, as Kero was to involved in his video games to care about her enterance. Bob, however, was very pleased to see her.

"Angel-chan, Angel-chan! Magic in the air, feel it?"

Sakura could only sigh as she cleaned out her pockets for Kero, who greedily devoured most of it before ever recognizing she was there. "I’m so used to feeling magic in the air now that I couldn’t tell if anything was unusual unless it was an earth shattering league of my cards."

Bob shook profusely in a manner that indicated he disagreed. "No, this magic...very similar to your own, angel-chan. Much like your own."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "No one has magic like mine."

"Family members." Kero muttered as he kept his eyes glued on the screen.

Sakura looked back to Bob. "I don’t have any family members with magic. Are you sure?" She asked Bob.

He nodded practically his whole body.

"Do you feel it, Kero?" Sakura asked.

"Well, we’ve felt it a bunch more times before-" He paused as he was making a vital hit in the game. "It’s that ghost lady or something." Kero explained.

Sakura’s eyes widened. "Of course. She’s related to me! I guess since her powers are like mine, I didn’t notice them like you did. Thanks, Bob."

Bob sent glitter into the air to show his response.

Sakura sighed and collapsed on her bed. "Great. The ghost’s coming to bother me again." But I’ve got to try and get her on my side. Maybe with her help I’ll be able to seal the cards. Maybe making ammends with her will be the key. Sakura glanced at her arm where a still bright pink scar ran down it from her last attempt at an alliance. I’ll just have to try harder. And be more careful.

"I hate it when I know she’s going to come around, but I can’t go after her to confront her." Sakura said aloud, sitting up on her bed. "I’m not going to be able to go to sleep at all tonight."

"Better drink some caffine." Kero said, switching games.

"Couldn’t you provide some more useful advice, Kero?" Sakura asked, getting a bit more than frustrated with her useless talking, gluttoness, overweight stuffed animal.

"Hey ghosts and afterlife stuff isn’t my department," Kero said defensively.

Sakura gave a disgusted sigh and got to her feet, getting ancy.

"I know you can defeat her, angel-chan," Bob said encouragingly.

Sakura jumped as the door opened suddenly. Kero froze, Bob tried to look like a nonchalant butterfly, and Sakura tried to maintain her innocent appearance. Touya looked suspicious around, his eyes resting on Kero, who sat stiffly in front of the controller on the ground. "Letting your stuffed animals play video games now, are you?"

Sakura looked at Kero, then at Touya, trying to contain her tendency to go frantic. "Yeah, ah, I just, I just....Don’t, uh...don’t want my nintendo to feel abandoned."

Touya gave her an unconvinced glare. "Is that so..." He looked back to Kero. "That’s an awfully high score for a stuffed yellow bear."

Sakura looked at the television and smiled warily. "Haha, yeah."

Touya just stared at her, waiting.

Sakura noticed and played innocent. "What?" She asked.

"I don’t know, you just seem...zoned out more than usual lately. It seems so coincidental that your silence all started after you and Tomoyo’s sudden camping trip."

Sakura smiled weakly. "Ha, yeah, well, you know camping trips, always making you reflect on yourself..."

"I find it odd that you went off on this camping trip before ever asking permission, or that you haven’t said a word about that trip the whole time you’ve been back. Nothing. Just that ‘it was alot of fun’. I don’t know what’s going on here, but I have the strangest inclination to beleive it has something to do with that brat kid."

Sakura hoped the panic she felt didn’t show on her face. How had he been able to hit it right on the money? "Why would you ever-"

"Seems to me that brat kid has been at the root of every conflict. I’m sure there’s something here..."

"Onni-chan! That ‘brat kid’ at least recognizes that I have a will of my own and the ability to make decisions for myself. I would appreciate it if you would grow up and realize that you should do the same!" She said, her voice coming surprisingly smooth as her emerald eyes flickered a green fire.

"I’m not trying to run your life, squirt," Touya said quietly, "I just think you have some blind spots, that’s all."

Sakura only returned the same firm glare telling him to get out.

Touya gave a large sigh and turned for the door. He shut it quietly behind him, then, without warning, flung it open again, his eyes going straight for Kero, who hard barely gotten to relax all of his muscles before tightening up again. Grumbling to himself, Touya left again, this time for good.

Sakura walked over and flopped on her bed, smiling as Kero shook out his arms and legs. "I thought he’d never leave. I’ve never had to stay like that for so long. I’ve got a bad feeling he’s going to figure something out soon."

Sakura shook her head. "Four years, now, and you’ve never been caught yet."

- - - - - - - - - -

Sakura retreated to her bed around eleven, thanking her lucky star that the ghost decided to strike on a weekend, else she’d be horribly tired in the morning. At least she’s that considerate. She tried to keep her mind occupied by thinking about Mark, which at least kept her angry.

Still her eyes insisted on wanting to shut. Several times she caught herself falling asleep, and forced herself to walk for a moment to wake herself up. Kero, who was the backup in case she was to fall asleep, had already conked out. She glared at his sleeping form, then looked over at Bob. He was still sitting on the window ceil, looking blankly into the room. Sakura sighed to herself, then sat down quietly on the edge of her bed.

I wonder if I can really stay up all night? She pondered. She didn’t feel very alert or awake as of now. She was sure if the ghost visited by, she’d be wide awake. But it seemed like that hour would never come. Why was she bothering to stay up, anyway? The ghost would come when she wanted to. Sakura nodded in agreement, yawning and letting her eyes close.

She sat still like this for a few moments, then jolted herself awake. She’ll wake me up by sending a sword through my stomach! She reminded herself. Sakura looked around her dark room, watching the tree’s shadows dance around on her wall as the bright moon provided the light for a backdrop. Sakura watched the leaves move for countless minutes, then found herself falling over. She gave in and decided to keep watch from this laying position. Sakura looked up with sleepy eyes at the clock. It was almost one. How much longer was she going to wait?

All night. All day. Until she shows up. She stared at the digital clock, watching the square numbers change in their consecutive order, never doing anything unpredictable, never doing anything to keep her attention, only keeping time. It ran through the numbers just like it was supposed to, letting Sakura’s attention waver to wherever it wanted to go. Soon Sakura’s eyes were shut, and her mind was drifting away.

It’s cold.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakura shivered. Why had her dreams been so black, so dark? No voices, nothing of that sort, only dark things that gave her a creepy image of what the underworld would be like. But now she had escaped, she was waking up. Why was her room so cold?

Sakura pulled her covers up around her more and turned onto her side. But that was when she realized something was horribly wrong. Her room wasn’t this cold naturally. As she opened her eyes she immediately caught the reflection of a blade. Instantaneously she threw herself sideways, not caring if she fell to the ground. Something sharp grazed the arm that was pushing her away. Sakura almost cried out, but refrained, not wanting to wake anyone else. She jumped to her feet and summoned up a shield. She found herself facing the girl in the bloodied white dress, her veil torn and ravaged, her face decayed with all the vengeance spoiling her from the inside.

The ghost brought the sword to her chest, holding that same very fimiliar blade. "Face me and fight for the last of your family’s honor!" The ghost demanded.

Sakura swallowed down her fear. It is the same as any other card. Don’t freak out. Keep your head. You need her as an ally! "Please, I don’t want to fight you! Your family needs you back!"

"I do not have a family!" She said, her voice carrying so many unnatural tones as she spoke. "Fight me or die!"

Sakura strengthened her shield and stepped closer. "Please, we need you to fight against Clow Reed! Which enemy would you rather vanquish? Your own family, or the man who betrayed you for another?"

Sakura hit a sore spot, and it showed in the ghost’s wretched expression. She sent a chilly wind through the room, anger surging through her. "I will vanquish them all! Clow Reed was a fool to give me such magic!" She swung her sword at Sakura, penetrating the shield and almost hitting Sakura’s shoulder.

Sakura lurched away, seeing the blade coming at her unhumanly fast. "Why won’t you help me fight him?" She demanded, putting another shield in front of her.

The ghost didn’t answer, only swung the sword around again, moving it in a circle so fast that Sakura would have been cut in two had she not flattened herself to her mattress. She saw her bringing the sword up for another attack. Sakura knew she wouldn’t get away from this one. Can the dead kill the living?

But some sizzling noises caught Sakura’s attention. She jumped out of the way and saw that Bob had sent a frenzy of lights at her; some type of energy that looked a little like electricity. Sakura’s eyes widened with appreciation for the bug. She had forgotten the bug’s power. But she had no time to sit and be amazed. Sakura powered her staff and slashed at the ghost’s sword, not the ghost herself.

With a screech, the ghost sent another flurry of cold empty air and ancient earth into the air, disappearing. Sakura breathed heavily, trying to silence it as it sounded so loud in the suddenly quiet room. Bob was sitting on the window ceil, looking tired. There was no proof the ghost had been there except for the tiniest bit of a scrape on her wrist. She met eyes with Bob for a few seconds, then found that her cheeks were damp.

She realized she had been crying. "Why can’t she just listen to me?" Sakura asked, falling onto her bed and sobbing.

Bob fluttered over. "You get closer each try." He reminded her with his little high pitched voice.

Sakura turned over on her back, wiping her eyes furiously, but the tears seemed infinite. "This is ridiculous. Why can’t I stop crying?"

Bob almost seemed to smile, and fluttered over her. He sprinkled her with more sparkles, a deep sapphire blue mixed with rich greens and pinks. Sakura looked at it questioningly, but immediately felt a change. It was that same feeling she had gotten a while ago when Bob had sprinkled dust on her after injuring her arm. She felt the same protection and warmth, as if she was in her friend’s arms. But he wasn’t here, and she was just lying on her bed, tear stained face and all.

Her eyes started to weigh again. Sakura blinked once, then let her eyes shut. "Thank you, Bob." She murmurred, already falling into sleep.

______________________________________________________________________

"That’s not right." Syaoran said bluntly, looking over Mandu’s work.

She sighed, twirling her black hair around her finger. "I followed the example." She excused herself.

"You did it wrong, look- if you’re dividing, you subract exponents." He said. He didn’t care if he was doing a poor job of explaining, he hadn’t volunteered for this tutoring job, anyway. Mandu had only pleaded that he help her explain their metric conversions using scientific notation worksheet.

"I did- see?" She said, pointing at the bubbly writing in the margin.

"No, if your subtracting a negative, you add; the two negative signs equal a positive."

Mandu sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I see it."

Syaoran turned to leave her desk but stopped as she spoke.

"Don’t leave, I want you to check the next one too."

Syaoran sighed and leaned against the desk behind him.

"I don’t see why we have to learn this, anyway. Why can’t we just move the decimal point over like in elementary school?"

Syaoran didn’t respond, only glared at her paper, willing himself to be more antisocial.

"Hey, Syaoran, did you get number ten?" Meilin’s shrill voice called from across the room.

Syaoran gladly took the opportunity. "I’m helping Meilin. If you want your answer checked, just ask the teacher." Syaoran had his back turned to her and didn’t get to see the frustrated scowl she gave him.

He grabbed his paper off his desk then slid into the seat next to Meilin’s. At least she was past number three. "You get 10 to the negative 8th times 2.45?"

Syaoran nodded. "Yeah."

Meilin sighed and set down her pencil. "Well that’s the most stupid assignment," She said, stretching her arms out.

"Pretend like I’m still tutoring you." Syaoran muttered, looking warily at Mandu.

"She’s still after you? You should be flattered, she never works to get a boyfriend, let alone work this hard. You’re teaching her a lesson, don’t just break her heart."

"She deserves it for what she’s doing to Teller." Syaoran retorted.

Meilin shrugged. "I guess that’s true." She fiddled with her pencil on the paper, then looked back up. "Did you see your mom last night again?"

Syaoran nodded.

"Was she any better?"

Syaoran sighed. "Not really. She didn’t say anything like that one day, but... I can tell she still beleives that there’s that shadow there. I’m afraid with this will she’ll fade herself away."

Meilin frowned and swallowed. She could feel his pain; Yelin was practically a second mother for her, let alone she was her only aunt still alive. "I’m sure she’ll get better." She smiled. "Just make sure this time she doesn’t rush through rehab."

Syaoran shrugged. He could understand wanting to rush through that. If he was in the hospital for so long, he would want to rush home.

"Are you going to the movies with Yundi and the rest of them tonight?"

Syaoran shook his head.

"Why not?" Meilin demanded.

Syaoran glanced around. "I dunno. I should practice some of this swordplay Wanti-san was making me work on. I think I’ll go by the hospital again today, too."

Meilin looked him over with caution. "You shouldn’t go doubting like that too. You’ve got keep optimistic so your mother can get back to the right spirits."

Syaoran nodded slowly, her making sense to him, but he didn’t know if he could hold to it. "I doubt how I feel about her being sick is going to do a whole lot-"

"But it is! It’s proven that if you’re depressed and don’t care about your own existence, your health drops dramatically. You can’t let your mother know you doubt her ability to get better. That’s what you’re hinting at, isn’t it?"

Syaoran felt horrible worry rising up in him. "A little worse than that..." Syaoran said quietly.

Meilin whacked him on the arm. "Li Syaoran! You couldn’t actually beleive she was going to...to...not make it, could you!? Is that what you mean?"

Syaoran looked up, honest fear fueling the fire to his eyes. "You should have heard how she talked, Meilin! She was saying that I needed to take care of my sisters, and that she’s not normally ill- she thinks that like something else is killing her. How could I stop that? I don’t know where to begin!"
"Ignoring those rash words, for one!" Meilin commanded.

Syaoran grit his teeth. Thinking about his mother’s condition got him into emotional oubursts lately. He decided to hold his tongue, and looked up at the clock. He was grateful that the last bell was soon to ring, so he got up from the desk, taking his homework with him, and headed back to his own assigned seat. He grabbed his books from underneath and stacked them, then leaned against the door and waited to be dismissed.

- - - - - - - -

Syaoran found his house empty when he got there, so he walked through the kitchen and made himself a snack for before he left. After that he changed into normal clothes and waited on the couch for his sisters to get home, noticing with annoyance that they were late.

Getting bored waiting, he turned on the stereo and played one of his sister’s better CDs. The music at least clouded his mind for the time being, and he was able to drift off in empty thought.

At the sound of a high pitched ring, Syaoran jumped on the couch. He looked at the stereo, but knew it wasn’t that. He paused the stereo and looked around for the sound maker. It was coming from the kitchen.

That’s not the house phone ring. Must be my phone. But no one calls my phone. Syaoran walked over to where his bookbag was thrown on the table and searched through for the little black phone. It took him a second to remember how to flip it open, then he answered. "Hello?"

"Syaoran! Syaoran, you’ve got to get over here!" A hysterical girl’s voice was crying.

He immediatly got worried and nervous. "What do you mean? Where are you?" He asked, figuring it was either Rana or Daikal.

"The hospital- mother- you’ve got to get on a bus or something!"

Syaoran felt her own hysteria trying to take hold of him. "What do you mean, what’s wrong?"

"Hurry up, Syaoran!" She sobbed, obviously not trying to conceal the fear in her voice.

"Rana, what do-" He stopped, as she had hung up. "Dammit." He muttered, tossing his phone into his bookbag. Without taking time to digest anything, he hurried to get some money and continued outside, jogging down the sidewalk to the bus stop.

Why couldn’t she just answer me? He wondered as he stepped up the steps on the bus and sat down. What’s wrong? What if she....oh God what if she’s... Syaoran spent alot of time swallowing. His throat was closing up, and he was almost shaking with nerves. The possibilities tortured him as he tried to clear his mind. One main feasibility was driving him insane, and as he tried to reason with himself, Rana’s terrified tone pushed him to take to that certain assumption.

If anyone had talked to Syaoran on the bus, if a pretty girl had sat next to him, if the bus sprung a gas leak, he wouldn’t have noticed. He only stared out the window at the blurring landscape and willed everything to get him to the hospital faster. Syaoran wished he owned the Fly and the Dash, because he would be using them savagely now. He couldn’t stand having to wait and assume.

The bus came to the stop where he got off, and Syaoran hurried down the steps and looked with exstreme anxiety for the connecting bus, the one that would take him to the hospital. Two buses passed that were not on the right route, then finally the right one pulled up. Syaoran rushed on, sitting in the empty front row to be ready to get out quickly. The bus drove so horribly slow, at least it seemed to Syaoran, and it was forever before they were on the right street.

"...Ziang Avenue is under construction. The stop at Hong Kong Hospital is rerouted to-..."

That was all Syaoran needed to hear. At this stop, one behind where he was supposed to get off, he jumped out of the bus and sprinted down the sidewalk, the hospital in sight. Ignoring the signs on the sidewalk about construction, he ran and hopped over the piping being put in, not even aware of the construction worker’s shouts of protest at his little sprint. Syaoran hurried through the hospital lobby and ran up the stairs, taking them three at a time. At his mother’s floor he slowed to a speed walk, avoiding carts being pushed around, and turned quickly into his mother’s room.

Syaoran turned ghostly pale as he stared into the room. The bed was being nicely made and was also nicely empty. A nurse was spreading the last of the sheets, not aware of the boy staring with shock. She turned to get the pillow and noticed him with a start. "Can I help you?"

Syaoran was unable to speak for a second as he jumped to conclusions. "Th-the woman, in this room...."

"Oh, I should have guessed. Don’t worry honey, she’s just gotten moved a floor. Room, ah..." She picked up a peice of paper and skimmed through it. "Room 408. Fourth floor."

Syaoran muttered a thanks that was hardly heard as he was already running down the hall. At least she’s not... He let out a breath of relief. The incredibly horrible and inexpressible nausea at the core of his being that he had felt as he saw that empty room... Syaoran shook his head, trying to get the feelings out. Just moved a floor. Maybe Rana saw the empty room and thought what I did. She’s probably just fine. Rana just jumped to conclusions, like me.

Syaoran hurried up the stairs and stopped at the door. He hurried down the hall and stopped at the room. The door was shut, so Syaoran let himself in. He was met with a pair of flailing arms around his shoulders, and all too quickly Rana was sobbing onto his shoulder.

"It’s horrible, Syaoran!" She cried, her tears soaking right through his shirt.

Syaoran looked over her shoulder with uncertainty and confusion in his eyes. Yelin was there, laying on the bed, sleeping as usual. But it was different. She had many more machines around her, all beeping and chirping at different pitches. One, he realized with the utmost horror, was a respitory machine. Tyung was standing next to the bedside, her eyes red from already cried tears.

Syaoran stepped away from Rana. "What, I mean, why..."

"The doctors, they said this morning, her breathing was all uneven and kept stopping, and now..." Rana wailed again, tears streaming abundantly.

Syaoran couldn’t stand to see his sister cry so earnestly, and stepped in to let her sob on his shoulder again. She held him tightly in return, her whole body shaking with her rapid sobs. Syaoran looked over her at Tyung for more rational answers.

"It’s life support." She said quietly, running her sleeve over her eyes quickly, then blinking to clear them. "Her body just gave up."

A nurse was adjusting one of the tubes on the I.V., and until then Syaoran hadn’t even realized there had been anyone else in the room. He ignored it and watched his mother, not wanting to beleive. ‘I’m sure she’ll get better’. Syaoran hated Meilin’s words, yet clung to them all the same. "What are they going to do?" He asked, his voice not very stable.

Tyung was quiet, not answering, only staring back at her mother, her front teeth down hard on her bottom lip.

"There’s not much they can do, hon’, without her doing it on her own." The nurse said quietly, giving a sympathetic smile.

"Well they’ve got to do something! They can’t just let her stay like this!" Syaoran said, his voice raised.

"Syaoran, don’t." Tyung said, voice low, her dark eyes holding on him.

Syaoran looked at her feircely, about to shout again, but so overwhelemed, he was unable to think of any sane words.

Daikal and Lai came running into the room, their cheeks already tear stained.

Lai’s hand went to her mouth, her eyes watering again. "Not mother." She murmurred, her chin trembling.

Rana broke from Syaoran and ran to her oldest sister. "It’s so horrible!" She cried again, sobbing onto a fresh shoulder. That was enough to bring Daikal to tears as well. The three of them sobbed, and even the nurse had tear glazed eyes.

"I’m leaving," Syaoran mumbled, not wanting to bear this any longer; needing his privacy. He stepped into the hall, almost gasping in the different air. He hadn’t realized his tenseness in that room had spread all the way to his inhalation.

A hand grabbed his arm, and he found Tyung looking back intensely at him, her face solemn. "Where are you going?" She asked.

"To be alone." He shot back, not caring if his nerves took over his speech.

She dropped her arm to her side. "Don’t do anything foolish."

Syaoran scowled. "Why should I?"

"I know you. Don’t feel guilty, Syaoran, none of this is your fault. You understand me?" Syaoran realized she wouldn’t continue unless he responded, so he nodded while looking the other direction. "So don’t go and do anything stupid. It isn’t the end yet. We can’t just give up."

Syaoran clenched his teeth and nodded again. He tried and tried to tune out, but her words sunk right in, stinging his mind. She turned and went back into the room, leaving him to himself.

Syaoran caught his breath and began walking down the hall. He was still dumb with shock. How can she go from being so talkative to life support in two days? It’s not fair! She shouldn’t have to go through this, what has she done wrong? What have I done to deserve this? Syaoran had the strong urge to kick something, but he refrained. Syaoran hurried through the rest of the hospital, wanting to get home to his sword before he went crazy and took out a door.

She can’t die, she just can’t! But the torturing voice in the back of Syaoran’s head reminded him you have no control over it. You’re just upset because you don’t like it when things don’t go your way. Syaoran stalked down the sidewalk, angry with everything, but most of all; himself. Screw my plans! I don’t care if I don’t ever get I want, as long as she can stay alive. It’s not selfish to want your mother to live!

Syaoran got onto the bus and sat towards the back, wallowing in self pity. Why does my life has to be so difficult? Why is fate so set against me and my own happiness? Am I not allowed to feel? Wasn’t my father enough?

After making the bus switch and arriving at home, Syaoran only went in his house to get his sword before he ran down to the stables. He stayed away from anyone and everyone as he pulled Iata’s bridle on, then mouted quickly, sending the pony into a gallop and heading for the trails.

Syaoran ran blindly through the woods, stretched the pony out in the fields, and only slowed to a trot as he went through the paths he had made his his sword when Sakura had been there. Once he reached a far field, far from the stables or civilization, he jumped off, tying Iata’s reins in a knot so they wouldn’t fall over the ponie’s neck and trip him, then let the pony graze freely.

Syaoran felt his sword blazing with all of his anger and frustration, and so he went through every attack he had ever learned, starting from the basics and moving up through what he was currently working on. Although he already had worked up a sweat in the first half hour, he kept going straight through twilight, blistering his hands and ignoring his aching muscles.

By the black of night, Syaoran turned back and headed home for a shower. He had exhausted himself enough to sleep without any thoughts or worries.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well I finished that within a week! Yay for me! Things are just so depressing! I’m sorry, but it’s all part of the master plot, and yes, things will start making more sense soon. All this turmoil is not in vain!

Well I would love more comments or suggestions about stuff that you want to see in my story (as long as its not totally far off) email at: [email protected] or [email protected]

My aol sn’s SyaoranChic

And my site is at geocities.com/KeanusHorseChic for all the latest chapters!

~Syaoran Fan 4 Life~