I have been trying for the last 6 years to decide what it means to be Native American. It was just 6 years ago that I met my biological father. Now I must say that I was not totally suprised to find out about my American Indian heritage, but I was pleased to find that it was supported by family history and photos.
For years before this I had a more than casual interest in Native American History and Culture, I had read many books on the subject, giving it serious thought and study.
But I have never lived on a Reservation--never even been to one. Most Indians I saw were in movies, except for some mixed bloods that live in my area. And a few others at the local Heritage Festival where they showed up once a year. To look at me you will see a Anglo-Saxon, Celtic, Germanic white-skinned person, which is at least 90% of my racial stock, maybe if you look real hard you might discern slight NA features.
Still, I do wish to explore my heritage, as this also is a part of me.
So what does it mean to be American Indian in the year 2000?
To tell what my NA heritage means is to dig into my soul and spirit to draw this out.
Race means NOTHING. Culture, Philosophy, Religion means everything. There were whites who were Indians Historically that were Indians in truth--though they had not one ounce of Indian blood. There were those with Indian blood who were not truly Indian because they sold their souls to become "white" in their loyalties and passions. So we are talking about something that can be in the blood, but transcends biology and genetics.
I am of a growing conviction that Race is but a state of mind--being what you are in your spirit and soul is the reality, whether it means carrying a pipe and medicine bag, spending years living in the wilderness, or living in the city and suburbs attending occasional art shows and powwows. It is the spirit, and involves attitudes about the creation and Creator, and knowing our place in the creation. I think it also involves our ancestors--not as in a seance, or ancestor worship, but as in appreciation for their trials and accomplishments, in their legacy, in relating to them historically, and knowing they are above us watching our progress.
Creation is no small part of being Indian, how we feel about God's creation is, I think, a better measurement than blood quantam in deciding where our hearts are at, or if we have the Indian soul at all. If we cannot get excited about the roaming wolf and soaring hawk, if forests being mowed down doesn't raise our ire, if we cannot disassociate ourself from the culture of greed around us, what good will dark skin, straight black hair, wide cheekbones, and that "Indian look" do us?
If we can recognize the power of a God given dream-- understanding that sometimes it is more than just a dream, if we can literally feel The Creator when we are in the beauty of His Creation--so much so that our hearts ache for the glory of it, if we can "see" that some of His creatures pass our way not by accident, and that there is much more in general to this world than what we can see or hear with the outward senses, then perhaps we are on the right Path.
Understanding is also called for. For whatever the reason, there has historically been shadows over Native Americans. Shadows of division, alcoholism, poverty, despair. Many of these things, and others, have been foisted upon the Indian communities. Historically they have been treated badly by any measure you use. They also suffer from diabetes and other diseases at a higher rate than the rest of Americans. In large measure, non-reservation Indians have been spared many of these trials, some of us look so white we will never face discrimination or racism as our brothers and sisters have, so we cannot, and should not be quick to judge, or look down our noses at those who have felt the full sting of oppression because of being Indian. We also have an obligation--though not to blame all problems on the gov't--to tell the truth about the terrible racism and oppression by this gov't of the USA on Native peoples. Not as an excuse for Indian problems, but so that no one will forget the lessons that greed and oppression against any people destroys not only the culture of those being oppressed, but destroys the soul of the oppressor as well. If you doubt this, look at the daily news and ask yourself how many of those crimes are motivated by this self-same historical greed.
So here I am, Culturally an Anglo-Saxon American of the Mid-West, with strong Appalachian ties as well, it would be easy to just go with the flow and forget my Native American Heritage altogether, except--there is something in me that calls me, that numinous something that feels "starved" in the white culture. I could ignore this--that is true, many do not care anything about their Native American background, including many who look "Indian". But I am not their judge, only my own, and my judgement will not allow me to divorce myself from that part of me, small or great, it doesn't matter--it is calling me, and I must come.
YOUNG EAGLE Karlton Douglas
