kdltshalf

kids don't like to share-half and half

sometimes good times must die.
i've seen all the dreams that came to pass. i don't know why i will always ask. when things came to my attention. when good things came in my direction. i loved every second that i had. but all the good things turned baf. during that time i would just sit and stare. the awkward times that was leading nowhere. no way to have found my place. with a blank expression on my face. years seems to be days. everything i had faded away. when the day became real. when i started to feel. all the things i had to do. all the dreams that came true. all my happiness that came from good times. all my dreams that i could find. all the time i had while it lasted. but all the time i had has passed it. riht in front of my view. all things that i knew. i wont ask for it back. cause i can remeber all the good times i had. somethings you just don't ask why. cause sometimes good time must die.

a place to call home.
where am i supposed to go. nobody cares, nobody knows. how am i supposed to find. someplace to go in time. travel through the ages. battle through the changes. nothing here is worth staying for. but i know i can't go on anymore. i'm stuck in a place where i can't move. so i must choose to do somethings while i'm here. ninteen years. a hundred fears. nothing comes in clear. a blurry vision that i can't make out. so i can't figure out whats it's all about. but no doubt. i will try to find. anything in my composition in my mind. i'm stuck in a situation where i can't find a way back. so what do i have. nothing left, nothing kept. nothing worth to find. everyone is far behind. moving forward in a backwards world. looking in the future to search for something you left in the past. but nothing you had will make it last until the end. so you pretend that you can find anything again. that's not a good reason, not a good meaning. something so misleading. nobody here will be treating you like a king, you'll be nothing because you cant find a way. a reason to stay. a place to play. a picture or a souvenior that reminds you of what you have or had. but when you're searhing all alone with no plae to call your home. livng on your own. living while you feel like dying. but why, nobody knows i have to find something because i have no place to go. i have noidea what i'm supposed to do.but i found what i have to. i found what i have to find. something in time. but i know now, what i didn't know. i need someplace else to go. because i could never go back home.

reject the rejection.
scared of being let down. don't know why i'm that scared. not talking because i might say something fucking stupid. i might even make an ass out of myself. try so goddamn hard to speak but nothing fucking happens. at shows i sit in the corner. i just do that all of the show. not talking, just listening to the music. and why is that wrong. it's my life. who gave you the right to tell me what to do or what to say, or when to say it. i talk, just because i don't talk to you, does that make it wrong, ni it doesn't. the voice makes you heard, but if you don't say anything important, whats the use. i don't know why, but that's why i do this zine. this zine makes my voice be heard. the only way i know how. so i reject the rejection, so i don't have to be rejected. that's what i do.

broken choices.
your dream came true and now you don't want it now. a passion so deep you lost the passion. a memory so unforgetable that you forgot it. a long walk down the right road that you never wanted to walk down. the most beautiful girl in the world who really loves you, but you try so hard to find a reason not to love her. trying so hard to be popular that you never were that popular. an unachieving task that you really wanted, then you got it but now it's not that important to you anymore. free money so close but you choose not to go after it. all the things you want, but you you don't want to work for it. you found your long lost love. that never loved you and you never loved her. finding a way to have eternal life, but you have no will to get it. everything that meant so much to you yesterday, means absolutely nothing to you today. the more things change, the more things stay the same. the way you want it is not the way anybody else see's it. you care more what someother stranger might say. then more then what you think. another ones opinion is more important than yours. your life would be far much better if you tried to love it. instead of just trying to live it. you let yourself down for what. you just just try to hard.