last breath.
so when she wakes up from another dreary night. dreams seem less real. back from someone elses slumber. now the day came to pass. the day seems longer when you're alone. too much time to think about her life. the night seems to draw her closer. she never saw the sight of day for weeks on in. too many broken promises to make another promise. too many tragic lives had to be lost. many she hardly knew. one she knew all to well. the sight and sound is heart breaking to hear another voice. she can't stand to see someone else smile and having fun. it just hurts too much to see herself happy without the touch of his hand holding hers as she walks endlessly for hours during the night. the night has grown apart from everyone else except her. the night seeks the pain and that is all she feels. no one made her happy and no one has ever came close. and to her no one will. the disbelief is now taking place. the pain has out grows the love she once had in her. the hurt seems more and more worthy in her eyes. staring out of her window. cars drive by her window. fast without a single glance in her direction. people working day and night to even care about her feelings. people walking over the hurt and dying. no one helps. they just keep walking. traffic lights switch from red, yellow to green. people not knowing how she feels as they pass her by. not caring. not comforting. not trying. not realizing the pain she feels inside. nothing will ever bring her back. a leaf falls onto the ground with such a force. no one see's it but her. now she realizes how slow time has come. to her a minute was a day long. an hour was a week. a week was a month. a month was a year. it seems she spent 20 years sitting in front of her window. but it only was a day. she didn't speak for two weeks. even though she wrote down everything she thought. so she writes her last paragraph. she knows now what she has to do. she knows what no one else knew. with her final sentence she dreams her last dream, she thought her last thought. she breathes her last breath as she falls asleep into an eternal happiness.
next to nothing.
what happened to us last night. we had one of the best night of our lives. what will happen next or is this next to nothing. is this all we are going to become. i thought we will do everything. i don't think we did them already. if we did it was it over in a flash. i can't remember anything at all. is this all we are going to accomplish. i want something better thsn that. i don't deserve only this. is this it, if it is, i don't want it now. this is nothing. comparing to your life i haven't got what i wanted. i want to go out way better than that. i want to go out taking everybody with me. i had one great day. i want a lot of great days, not just one. but a handful of them. when can i see that day. the day, any day that will be better than the last one. i want everything, but i'm not going to get it. if this continues on i want to end it now. only if i know this is all i'm going to get. i don't want it to end on this. i don't want only that, it's like i have nothing at all. and at least i want something to look for. |
