| kids don't like to share-writing in scumbag tulip #2-#16 |
| #2 A friend. when you're feeling alone. you think about your life. you feel like no one likes you. your life has turned to shit. you think of your best friend. actually your only friend. you know he has gone away. he'll never come back. you'll miss him everyday. so you have to move on. get passed the moment. but you can't move on. it hurts too much. so you sit at home. thinking about your best friend. he's laying there six feet under. you know you can't forget him. you know all the great times you had with him. the laughing. the crying. you didn't want to lose him. you would do anything to get him back. you know it wasn't he's time to go. you know you have to take everything bad you did to him back. but he can never forgive now. you feel like he never accomplished anything at all. because he's way to young to die. but he'll never see another day. he'll never live out his dream. he wont be the person he always wanted to be. he's gone. you feel like it's your fault. like you caused him to die. you know his talents have disappeared. it will never happen. you feel it shouldn't be him. it should be you. you feel like if he's gone you should be too. you can't get his pain. his suffering. out of your mind. you never cried for a person like this before. this is the only person you were close to. the only person who cared for you. who actually believed in you. even trusted you with his life. if you could say one more thing to him you'll say "the world wasn't meant for one as beautiful as you." he's the only one that called you a friend. #3 just a little information. when i'm alone. feeling bored. with nothing to do. this is like all the time because i have no life. i just like to sit back, relax, listen to music and i just start to think about stuff. most of the time i think about this one girl i really like. everybody thinks about this one person they like. it's part of life. when i think about this one girl that i like i think what would happen if i married her in real life. even if i talked to her. what would happen. what would we talk about or would i just be ro fucking scared to say hi or would i just stand there with a stupid look on my face. it would make me the happiest guy in the world just to really know her. and it would make me happy if she knew who i was. even if she knew my name or hear her call my name. just to know she thought of me once. even if someone said my name to her, if she said "hey, i know that guy." with the stuff i know about her, it feels that i know her without really knowing her. i know her by the stuff i read about her. what i see. what i hear about her. it feels kind of good knowing this stuff about her, but it also feels like crap because i don't know who she is in real life. i know i will probably not go out with her, but there is always this one chance in my life where i'n walking down the street than all of a sudden "wham". i walk straight into her. then i will know right there this is my one chance to spend the rest of my life with this girl. the only thing i have to do is forget that day because if i wish for that day when i get older i would realize that day never fucking happened and i would have spent my whole fucking life sitting alone doing fucking shit about it. that day will probably happen on accident. so just forget all about it. don't forget the girl though. because you will never forget her. just like you will forget the first girl you fell in love with. i know i'm not i love with the first girl i fell in love with, but i know i will never forget her. so this is one of the many things i think of. if you want to write anything at all to me. feel free to. |
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